A Plum of a Journey
by knm2009
Summary: Stephanie finally decides what she wants, but it takes a time away and love of another for her to do something about it. Rating is to be on the safe side. CUPCAKE!
1. Chapter 1

_This is my first FanFiction, I hope you enjoy. I want to thank BlackhawkCarol and Jmts2012. Without their coaxing I would have never discovered this fun and scary hobby. Also without them this story would never have been suitable to read :) I hope you know how much ALL your help has meant to me and unfortunately saying THANK YOU does not seem enough._**  
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_Happy Reading!  
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**A Plum of a Journey  
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**Chapter One**

I turned thirty-four a little over two weeks ago. The last year and a half of my life could be described as amazing, scary, heart-breaking and earth shattering but probably astounding would best fit. I couldn't have imagined I would be in the place I am now no matter how big I dreamed. But perhaps most astonishing of all was the fact I hadn't been covered in garbage for any of it.

I'd had so many expectations of what I would own and what I'd be doing by this point in my life. Had any of what I'd dreamed come true?

No.

It's not to say that my life was bad. I enjoyed what I did on most occasions. I loved my little space of an apartment, which was also home to my best hamster friend Rex. Also good in my life were, and still are, my best people friend Mary Lou and my immediate coworkers Connie and Lula.

As with anything in life, there are positives and negatives. The not-so-great things in mine were once Vinnie—my other co-worker/boss/cousin—and the amount of money I didn't make. Oh—and when my apartment got broken into. I hated that.

Smack in the middle of the good and bad was my family. Depending on the day of the week, what my Grandma Mazur was up to and how pushy my mother was being about the direction of my life, they could have fallen under either the good or bad. Of course, let's not forget my sister and her family. If I had to hear about her "Cuddle Umpkins" too much, she was _definitely_ in the bad column.

And yet—no matter the mayhem, I loved them all.

A person I would count on the good side of life brought on this whole self-evaluation process and change. At the time, neither of us had any idea of the year that awaited us.

It was a day just like any of my other normal days. No one was after me, and all my skips were your standard drunks and thieves—all easily caught and brought in without incident. I was able to buy some groceries, pay a few bills and have money left over.

Also as far as normal days went, I spotted Joe Morelli's SUV in the parking lot of my apartment when I arrived home. As I made my way up the stairs to my apartment, all I could think was 'I had a good day, but I'm about to have a fabulous night'!

I should have known by now that not all things work out as planned, but it still didn't make it any less disappointing. Morelli was _not_ there to give me a night of passion. He wasn't even there to deliver Pino's. He was in my apartment to give me news that would send my already complicated world into a tailspin.

Unlocking my door, I had to rethink what I saw outside. All was quiet in my apartment, and just a single light in the kitchen was on.

"Hi, Cupcake. How was your day?" Joe asked, startling me. He was sitting at my dining room table with a beer. He seemed wary for some reason. Probably tired. I knew he had been working long hours on a set of murders that I thankfully hadn't found myself a part of in one way or another—yet.

"Hey, it was alright. Yours? Where's Bob?" Setting my purse on the table, I made my way toward Joe to give him a peck on the cheek before getting my own beer.

"Bob is at Mooch's. He's going to be staying there for a while."

"You're giving Bob to Mooch! Why?" I couldn't think of a good enough reason Joe would give away Bob, especially to Mooch. My mind was swirling with all the items Bob must have had to destroy in order to get passed along.

"No, I'm not _giving_ him to Mooch; he's just going to be staying there while I am out of town on an assignment."

Joe looked so handsome sitting there. He wasn't especially relaxed, but the way the light from the kitchen captured him was pretty breath taking.

"What assignment? Where are you going?"

"You know those high end store break-ins I was telling you about last week?"

"Yeah."

Morelli always has so many cases going on at once, it's sometimes hard to keep track of them all.

Joe's hands scrubbed his face. He was exhausted. "Well, there's a connection between the break-ins here and some in Pennsylvania. They're bringing me in to work both areas. I'll be here and there until the case is wrapped."

"Oh—when will that be?"

_Hopefully not too long_. My nights would get lonely—okay the days would too!

"I have no idea, and from the news I got just before you walked in, it won't be anytime soon. That's what I came here to tell you. Your phone is dead."

"It's not undercover work though, so you're going to be able to keep in touch, right?"

"That's the other thing. This case has so many different pieces going, I really don't know if I'm going to have time."

Something was off about what Joe was saying. He didn't go out of town often without me, and I really couldn't remember the last time he'd gone completely undercover. Since we'd been together he'd always stayed in contact with me when something like this came up.

"What are you really saying?" I couldn't help that it came out with a tinge too much attitude, and my hands went straight to my hips.

"I think." Joe let out a very loud sigh and stood, throwing his empty beer in the trash. When he looked back at me, his eyes weren't just tired. They were sad. "I think we need a break—a real break."

_WH-What! _

"We need a break. Why? Why would we need a break?"

This last year had been trying for both Joe and me. Between the usual hang-ups with my job and my little adventure to Hawaii with Ranger, our relationship had become overly complicated to say the least.

"You know, Steph, half the time I'm not even sure if we're off or on. How old are we? I know you aren't the only one to blame here, but I need something—" He paused, and I held my breath.

"Something different."

"And what would that be?" Now I was officially angry. Where had that come from?

"I'm not sure, but permanent would be a good start. As far as I can tell, you aren't interested in making a permanent 'on' with me."

"What makes you think that?"

Joe looked at me like I had sprouted horns. "You're kidding, right? What have you said or done in the last year that shows you want a stable relationship—shit—probably the last three years!" His voice was slowly escalating, and I could feel my temper rising right along with it.

"Yeah? Well, what about you?" I knew as soon as I said it, it was the wrong thing to say. Pride was one of my stronger qualities, and I just flat out refused to back down.

"This is exactly what I'm talking about," Joe said disgustedly. "I'll see you around."

"Joe, wait—"

I stepped into the doorway separating the dining area and hallway, trying to prevent him from leaving.

"No. I can't do this right now. I've got too much other shit going on. I know I haven't always been perfect, but I've done my fair share of standing by and supporting you."

I stood there, mouth open and not moving, and as a result, Joe was able to get around me and to the door. Right before closing it behind him, he paused, turned around and stared at me.

"Don't forget to lock your doors, Cupcake."

And he left.

* * *

After spending several days crying like a baby and drowning my sorrow with Tasty Cakes and chocolate ice cream, Lula decided I needed to get a grip. After she called and left five too many voicemails, I finally returned her calls. Looking back now, I'd say that day was when I'd subconsciously started making subtle changes.

"Why you so worked up about this whole breakup thing?" Lula asked when I finished explaining my absence from work. "It's not like this is your first go round on the carousal."

She had a point. Joe and I had been breaking up and getting back together for the better part of the last three years.

"Something is different about this breakup. It was calm," I replied in somewhat of a daze.

"Girl, I know just the thing to take your mind off his hot ass. We should—"

"Lula, I think for the first time in my life I can say I've had enough sugar. I don't want donuts," I interrupted. _Didn't she realize food couldn't solve all problems?_ Obviously she'd never awakened with the stomachache I had this morning after my little binge.

"Donuts? Hell no—you need shoes!" she said, as if I was supposed to know this was the automatic cure-all.

"Huh? Shoes?"

"Shoes make the mood. Isn't that what they always saying in those fashion magazines?"

When I didn't respond, she took the lead. "I'll be there in fifteen. You probably haven't showered in a few days, so hurry your ass up."

I sat there for a second after she hung up and realized I didn't have a choice. I jumped into the shower and took a quarter of the time I usually did. Looking in the mirror, I scared myself but decided it didn't matter. There was no one to impress anyway.

Pulling up my jeans and hoping they'd button, I heard Lula arrive, knocking louder than necessary. I grabbed my bag from where I'd placed it the night Joe was over and opened the door to find Lula still pounding away.

"Alright, I'm here! Let's go," I said tersely, not even trying to hide my annoyance with her pushiness.

"Testy much?" she shot back.

Instead of responding, I let out a low growl of frustration hoping she'd get the hint. I wasn't in the mood to shop. I wanted to crawl back into bed and stay there.

The whole trip through the mall was awkward. I didn't feel like talking, and anytime Lula would ask a personal question I'd find myself walking away. After three hours at all the major department stores, I'd come up empty handed while Lula had found four new pairs of shiny shoes.

"Whew—all this shopping worked me up an appetite! I say we hit the food court before I drop your grumpy ass home."

Now _that _I could agree on! After finally deciding on Chinese fare, we made our way to a table.

"Now that you can't run away from me, I want some answers. Why are you so damn upset? Don't you have Ranger?" she started in on me before I had the first bite in my mouth.

_Ugh—Ranger_.

I hadn't even thought about him in the past two days. Actually, the more I thought about it, I hadn't given Ranger much space in my mind since the last FTA I had needed help with—and that'd been over two weeks ago!

Deciding she wouldn't stop if I didn't open my mouth, I gave her the best answer I could think of. "Ranger is out of town. He's working on an employee issue in Boston."

"I know that, but aren't you having some late night phone conversations?" she asked with a sparkle in her eyes and waggling eyebrows.

"Lula! Jeez—no! I haven't talked to him since before he left." Which was true. What I didn't tell her was he'd stopped by at an ungodly hour thinking he was going to get into my bed. After I'd turned him down, he'd let me know he was heading out of town and to call him if I needed anything.

"_Huhn! _I was just assuming you two had something going on since the whole bake off."

I rolled my eyes at the memory of that time not so long ago.

After the week in Hawaii and the return home, something changed in both of my relationships. With Ranger, I couldn't pinpoint exactly what had happened, but I thought the change was me. I'd started to feel cheap. I knew I owed the man for saving my life numerous times, but I no longer wanted to use my body as payment.

_So much for ruining me for all other men._

As for Joe—he'd turned into the man of mystery. I couldn't figure out where we stood, but then again, I guess he'd made that perfectly clear three nights ago.

"No," I replied. "There's nothing going on with Ranger and me. We're coworkers and friends."

"But you still want yourself some Batman?" she asked, almost as a statement.

"No! I'm off men, remember?" I let out in a huff. Okay off men except when Morelli would come over, but it was a start and now that he'd said goodbye, I was _definitely_ off men.

Rolling her eyes at me, she took a minute to think about what she was going to say next. She pushed her plate aside and a slow smile crept upon her face. Taking out a pen and a pad of paper from her purse, she ripped two pages from the pad and drew a horizontal line down the middle of each page.

The look of confusion must have been easily read upon my face.

"Since the whole bake off idea didn't work, we're gonna make a pro and con list. This one will be for Batman, and this one will be for Officer Hottie," she said, still smiling while she wrote the names on the papers.

"Alright, what are some good qualities in Batman?" she asked expectantly.

I looked down at my plate and realized I'd barely touched my food. I suddenly wasn't very hungry. I suspect it was because, as usual, I couldn't believe what Lula was suggesting.

Clearing her throat Lula started, "He gives you cars and he keeps track of you." She wrote both things down in the pro column.

I answered automatically. "I'm not sure keeping track of me all the time is a good quality." While I definitely appreciated Ranger when the need arose, having him monitor my every movement was definitely bothersome on most occasions. I felt badly for being negative, so I offered, "Uh—he's nice."

"That's all you got? He's nice? Girl, he is one nice, fine piece of love. He's freakin' Batman! All dark and full of mystery. You never did say, but my guess is he is freak in bed!"

Thinking that my _not _responding was an attempt to be mature, Lula decided it must be the truth. She wrote down 'freak in sac'.

_Sigh._

Yeah, Ranger was great in bed, but outside of bed, he didn't offer much of what I was looking for.

"Okay, fine—you don't want to talk about Ranger. So let's do Morelli." Lula sat back in her seat pondering while I went through my mental list of all the things that were good about Joe.

Letting out a longing sigh, I started, "Morelli cooks, and he's funny and really loving. He takes out the garbage, and he's always there for me day or night—even when he's mad at me or really busy at work." I found myself wishing I could've appreciated these qualities before he became so distant. I could feel myself tearing up.

"Fine, he takes out the garbage. But you can't forget he's a cop. I mean now you have to come up with about _fifty_ things to make up for him bein' a cop!" Lula said with disgust, still scribbling on the papers.

_Had I not just said several redeeming traits about Joe?_ I understood Lula got hives every time cops were around, but my goodness—had she really had even _one_ horrible experience with a single cop since she'd turned her life around?

"Lula, I really don't feel like doing this. I don't want Ranger, and Ranger doesn't want me. As for Joe—it's like the old saying 'you don't know what you have until it's gone'. And Joe is definitely gone."

"Ranger doesn't want you? Girl, he looks at you like you're a piece of friggin' meat every time I see him around you! You get all starry-eyed and drool."

"Exactly! I don't want to be a piece of meat! And when was the last time you saw me look like that? Things have changed, Lula. It's just not the same anymore." Realizing my appetite was completely gone, I added, "I'm ready to go home. I have a lot to think about."

Things were tense in the car. To add to my already cruddy mood, Lula's car decided to have mechanical problems on the freeway. Nothing like a cloud of smoke and popping noises to brighten a day.

"Not my baby!" Lula cried in mortification. "This is when I need _myself_ a Ranger to come to my rescue!" She darted a look at me. "Uh—think you could call Tank?"

"Hmmm, I'm not sure that is such a good idea. Let's just call a tow truck and then a cab."

I was trying to keep my distance from anything Ranger. I'd taken enough from him over the years. How many cars had I blown up? How many times had I been forced to stay with him for one reason or another? How many of his men had been injured while on "Stephanie detail"? Too many. And how had I repaid him? Worst of all, I'd been reduced to a line item—a freaking line item on someone's entertainment budget! The only part of a budget I wanted to be a part of was for hours worked.

I was tired of feeling guilty about everything. Guilt from taking more from Ranger than I could give back. Guilt over letting Ranger cross the line. Guilt over not being honest with Joe. Guilt over not giving Joe what he needed and deserved.

I needed change and fast.

It became obvious Lula was overly upset over her car, because she turned and looked at me with crazy eyes, "Oh, so anytime something happens to you—_you_ call him, but the _one_ time I need help you can't get anyone from Rangeman here? What kind of friend are you?"

_Whoa._

I sat there for a moment shocked at the anger in her tone. Then I found myself supplying my own anger to the situation. "Half the time Ranger shows up!" I tried to take a calming breath. "Listen, things are complicated, and I just don't want to add to the list of items borrowed from him anymore, okay? We can handle this like normal people. We don't need someone to run to our rescue all the time!"

Digging my phone out of my purse, I called a local tow company and a cab. It actually felt really good to deal with this as an adult. I had to smile over my assertiveness, and that smile was still on my face when I got home—that is until I saw my answering machine blinking ferociously.

Since I was on a roll dealing with things like an adult—or at least one thing—I saddled up and listened to the messages. Before I pressed the play button, my eye started to twitch in anticipation that at least half would be from my mother.

I was correct. My mother was worried because I hadn't stopped by to filch any food in the last couple of weeks, so she'd assumed I hadn't eaten. _Why was not stopping by to grab food such a bad thing?_ But the more I thought about it, I realized I _hadn't_ eaten much of anything that last week other than sugar and...sugar. And before that it'd been fast food.

Something to think about.

Deciding my best course of action would be to call my mother back and let her know I was alive, I took a few deep breaths and dialed.

"Stephanie! I was so worried!" were the first words out of my mother's mouth. As if that hadn't come through loud and clear on the seven messages she'd left me!

"Uh, yeah—sorry about that. I guess I lost track of how long it'd been. Sorry," I said again, trying to sound sincere.

"Well, are you coming for dinner tonight? Your sister, Albert and the girls will be over. When was the last time you saw them?"

As much as I wanted to say no, my mom was right. I loved my nieces, and I hadn't seen them in at least a few months. "Yes, I'll be there before six."

Luckily, it was still early. I had time for a nap before entering mayhem central. Turning off my cell phone and setting my alarm, I was out like a light. My body definitely was making up for the many lost hours of sleep from the last few evenings.

After a successful meal, my mother, Val and I sat drinking coffee and eating cookies while the kids and men were watching the Sunday movie special.

"Where's Grandma Mazur?" I asked, suddenly realizing she hadn't been picked up for a viewing at Stiva's.

"Her arthritis is acting up. I think she took one of her pain pills before dinner. She's never herself when she has one in her," replied my mother with obvious concern on her face.

"I've noticed she's been a lot quieter lately." Val chimed in.

I hadn't been to a meal there in a while. I felt sad I'd been so wrapped in my own world that I hadn't seen the change. Grandma had made her usual off color remarks, but she hadn't had the same enthusiasm. I guess that's what happened with age.

* * *

The following day started with me dreading the thought of getting ready for work. That had been happening more and more of late. I used to live for the thrill of chasing skips. Now it seemed I would wake up and groan at the thought of going after one more toothless or naked man or having the chase somehow be reversed.

After dressing in my usual jeans, t-shirt and CAT boots, I decided a quick stop at Tasty Pastry would get me in a little more upbeat mood for the day.

Walking in, I saw Angelina, one of Joe's sister-in-laws, talking to Lorraine while checking out. We had run into each other a few times and would make polite conversation while at family gatherings, but I wouldn't necessarily call us friends. When she turned to leave, she made immediate eye contact with me, and her smile turned into a bit of a grimace. Nodding her head in acknowledgment, she walked out the door. _Weird! _I wondered if she knew Joe and I were officially over. Our relationship had been in limbo for quite a while now, so it wasn't like the Burg gossip loop was running rampant with the news.

While making my selection of doughnuts, Lorraine seemed oddly quiet, and by the time she met me at the register, she'd finally decided to talk. Yet it was as if she couldn't decide how to start.

Blowing out a puff of air, I figured I'd help her out. "Spit it out. What have you heard?" I demanded.

Looking completely relieved, she started, "So Joe's moving to Pennsylvania, huh?"

I'm almost one hundred percent sure my eyes bugged out of my head. Reeling back in my reaction—since it was probably best not to react in a way that would add fuel to the gossip fire—I went for a nonchalant response.

"Where did you hear that? That's interesting. Probably just a misunderstanding."

"No, that was what Angelina was talking about before you walked in."

Suddenly donuts didn't sound at all appealing. I couldn't believe it—Joe was moving away! My stomach hurt. Quickly paying for the donuts and coffee, I all but ran back to my truck and immediately threw the bakery box onto the passenger seat and put my head on the steering wheel, trying to catch my breath. Thinking about my options, I called Joe's cell. We hadn't talked since he was at the apartment, and although I knew it wasn't any of my business, I wanted to know if what I'd heard was true. It took three rings for someone to pick up—but it wasn't Joe who answered.

"Joe?"

"No ma'am. There's no Joe here."

"I'm sorry. I must have dialed the wrong number."

I hung up and stared at the phone. There was no way I'd dialed the wrong number. I'd simply hit two for speed dial. The same number had been programmed in that spot for the last two years—well at least since I'd purchased that phone, and I'd managed to keep it for the last six months. There was no possible way was it had been the wrong number.

Okay, time to try speed dial number three—Joe's house. Immediately I was assaulted with the annoying beeping and then the cheery operator's voice letting me know the number had been disconnected.

I felt tears pricking my eyes. It seemed what Angelina and Lorraine had said was true. In less than a week, Joe had moved. I couldn't picture him moving away from his family and friends. It was rare that a Burger would move away, and even rarer that I wouldn't have heard. The last we spoke he never mentioned a move. How could he have done anything like that without telling me? I took another deep breath.

_It's your own damn fault. You're the one that couldn't just deal with how you felt and let him know you wanted and needed him. It's none of your business what he does now. _

The days seemed to fly by. I heard nothing more about Joe moving out of state. I wasn't sure whether it was because people knew I had no idea or if maybe everyone else had seen it coming but me, but not a word was spoken to me about it. Every time my mind would wander to Joe, I'd block it out. Everything in life was easier to deal with if you didn't confront it right? I couldn't do a thing about our situation anyway, so what was the use of dwelling there?

* * *

It was Sunday morning. The bonds office was closed, and the weather was decent for the middle of winter. The holidays were behind me and spring was ahead. I'd wrestled with a wily skip the day before and had torn yet another pair of jeans. Seeing as I had only one pair left, it was definitely going to be a shopping day, and I actually had money in my bank account to spend.

Feeling pretty good about the jeans I was able to pick up on sale plus a few tops, my last stop was the shoe department. Lula had been right about shoes making the mood. Every pair I owned reminded me of Joe in one way or another—whether I'd had worn them going to an event with him or just worn them _for him_. It was a painful realization. Since I hadn't had any contact with him in over two months, it was time to get some shoes that would create their own mood.

I was starting to get a little upset about the fact I couldn't find a single pair of shoes that I wanted. I was _always_ able to find shoes! Suddenly I heard a ladies voice behind me, saying, "Stephanie Plum?"

Slowly turning around, I replied warily, "Yes?" I was always recognized, and it wasn't always a good thing. However, when I saw who had said my name, the wariness was immediately gone—replaced with happiness and nostalgia.

"Marisa! It's been...omigod—forever! How are you? What are you doing now?" Standing before me was my very pregnant former co-worker. She was a little shorter than me with blonde hair and blue eyes and a radiant pregnancy glow.

"Yes, it has. Oh, my gosh—you look great, Steph! Life has been good," she said while rubbing her abounding baby bump and making her way over to give me a hug. "I've seen you in the papers here and there since the 'great' E. E. Martin days." She said the last part oozing with sarcasm.

I did a big eye roll and laughed with her.

"I'm a buyer for Macy's," Marisa continued. "Well at least until this one comes along."

I couldn't help but envy how happy she looked. Life had obviously been good to her for the last four years. I wished I could say the same.

"I'm just finishing up this inventory. Do you mind waiting a few minutes for me? I'd love to catch up over some lunch. We're starving." she added with a wink.

Over lunch we got caught up. She told me about her ever-expanding family, and I told her about a few of my bounty hunting exploits that she hadn't read in the paper. As things were winding down, she looked at me with a little bit of apprehension.

"I know you have a job, and although it sounds crazy, you seem to like it, but is there anything else you would rather do?" Marisa asked.

Our conversation had been incredibly lighthearted until this point. Not only had I been losing love for the career I'd chosen on accident, but also it was a stickler for my mother and at times for Morelli. For them it was mostly because I always found danger ahead. I couldn't put any one reason on why I didn't like my job anymore. Maybe I missed feeling safe. Maybe I was just evolving. I honestly didn't know.

Choosing the honest route, I let out a slight sigh. It would be the first time I'd admitted this out loud. "You know, I'm not sure how much longer I can do this. I don't necessary love or hate it—I just don't know what else I'd do. There was a time a few years back that I tried quitting and doing a few other jobs, but I would always find myself in some kind of ugly situation. I really haven't a clue what I would do."

Memories of blowing up the Cluck-in-a-Bucket and the whole Mama Macaroni fiasco came flooding back.

Marisa's eyes lit up at my admission. "As I recall, you were damn good at E. E. Martin. I've been searching the last month for a temporary replacement while I'm out on maternity leave. I haven't found a single person I'd like to fill the spot. What do you think? Would you like to step into my shoes for a few months?"

"Uh—I—I don't know. It's been so long." I was trying to think back about what I'd hated about being a purchaser. Firstly, it'd been in Newark. Oddly enough, the only other thing that sprang to mind was that I'd been a buyer of oversized underwear. Marisa was the regional purchaser of shoes! _Shoes!_ I loved shoes!

"Oh, come on," Marisa encouraged. "It's like riding a bike. Only this bike isn't owned by the mob and has better pay and _way_ better benefits!"

When she put the opportunity like that, all the small drawbacks I remembered started getting pushed back. "How temporary is temporary?"

"I'd have to go over everything with my higher ups, but if you were interested, which I really hope you are, we'd start training almost immediately in order to get you up to speed before my leave begins. We'd be working together on everything. I'm planning on taking a full three months of maternity leave. Depending on what's going on at that time, you can maybe transfer to another department or out of state if all the bosses are impressed enough. And I have no doubt they would be."

Her smile was a mile wide after blurting all that out. She acted like I'd said yes already. Part of me wanted to, but I was so afraid of change.

"Tell you what—let me roll this over in my mind for a few days. When can you have all the details for me?"

"By the end of the week. Oh, Steph, one more thing," Marisa said nervously.

"Yeah?"

"My job is in Philadelphia—where the main Macy's is."

"Oh, that's not far from here." I couldn't imagine why she'd be so nervous telling me this.

"No—no—it's not, but I tried commuting for a while from New Jersey to Philly, and I only lasted two months. The traffic can wreak havoc on your nerve endings," she finished with a timid smile.

"Well, I guess it's just one more thing to think about," I said, while deep down I was freaking out! I mean, I'd _never_ lived away from the Burg other than college, and even then, I'd only lasted six months in the dorm before I was back home. And that had only been forty-five minutes away—the same distance as Philly.

_Deep breaths!_

That evening I went to my parents' house for dinner. I had a lot weighing on me and going to my childhood home seemed like it would have all the answers. When I arrived Grandma was zonked out in front of the television watching the weather with my father in his recliner reading the paper. I didn't usually do a whole lot of introspective thinking, but I had found myself doing it more and more lately. Deciding that maybe I needed a voice that wasn't inside my head to help me sift through my thoughts, I went into the kitchen to take advantage of alone time with my mother.

I knew I hadn't been sleeping well in the time after Joe's and my split, but I really didn't think an outsider could tell. Obviously I thought wrong. My mother immediately put down the spatula she was using to stir sauce with and made the sign of the cross.

"Stephanie, dear, are you alright?"

With those words I couldn't stop the tears forming in my eyes. Not trusting my voice I shook my head 'no'. The lump in my throat was growing larger the harder I tried to hold it back, and finally it broke with a giant sob.

My family doesn't show emotion or physical affection, so my mother did the only thing she knew, which was to have me sit at the little kitchenette and placed a couple oatmeal cookies on a plate along with a glass of milk in front of me. This was such a Helen Plum move that my tears changed to a bitter laugh. Despite my surprise, I suddenly realized part of why I always kept myself detached from situations was partially the way I'd been raised.

As a family we never showed the good emotions. I mean we would laugh together sometimes, but we never really celebrated the good things. Maybe a pat on the back or a tight smile, but any sadness was definitely off limits. However, none of us ever seemed to have any problem showing the angry side of ourselves.

My laughing stopped, and I was again flooded with tears, remembering all the tenderness Joe had shown me through the years. Whether it was a kiss on my cheek or forehead, holding me at night when I would have a nightmare or just _being_ there for me at the end of a hard day. Don't get me wrong; the few times I cried he'd definitely get uncomfortable but would still remain by my side. I tried to be there for Morelli, but now I know I could have tried much harder. I could have asked how his day was more often or made sure he had a few more clean socks. Anything was probably better than the stress I caused him on a regular basis—even when things were uneventful in my life.

We had a yet another quiet dinner since Grandma had taken another pill for her joints. It seemed like only yesterday Grandma had been up doing or saying something that would make my mother run to the liquor cabinet. The few times I'd been over for dinner lately she'd definitely been changing. I hated to think this would be who she was from now on. As long as I could remember, Grandma had been loud and vibrant, never letting anyone or anything get in the way of whatever her mission had been at the time. Whether it was lifting the lid on a coffin or buying a Corvette despite not having a driver's license, she'd always been up to something.

Finally breaking the silence, I went ahead and chose to discuss the main reason for my visit. "I got a job offer today."

Instantly my mother put down her fork and perked up. "Oh really? For what? Where?" Excitement for the end of me being a bounty hunter was plain as day.

"Well, I really don't think I am going to take it, but it would be a temporary position at Macy's east coast headquarters as the regional purchaser for shoes."

"Why wouldn't you take a position like that?" My mother questioned, again, not hiding her disappointment at the possibility of me turning it down.

"It's in Philadelphia, so I'd have to move closer. Plus, there are some other things I have to consider," I said with twirl of my hand, trying my best to believe what I'd just said when in reality I had no idea what else I had to consider.

"It would be a shame not to have you close by, but it sounds like an exciting opportunity," my mother said, pushing me along. And here I thought she wouldn't be able to stretch the umbilical cord that far. At that point, I let the conversation fall off. I'd come for support and was surprised I'd received it. Yet, I still felt like something was holding me back.

I was at the door ready to go with leftovers and a few other items when my mother grabbed my arm.

"Stay here for just a second."

Standing in the foyer, I had no idea what she was up to. She came back with two big boxes and one smaller box. All three were wrapped in what looked like wedding paper wrap. Before I could register a thought, she continued,

"I bought these a couple of years ago." She paused as if she weren't sure she wanted to continue. Finally, she added, "They were meant for when you and Joseph were going to get married. They may come in handy if you do decide to take this job."

_What was she talking about? What could be in the boxes? _

"Uh, thank you," I replied. She walked me out to my truck and placed the boxes in the back seat. We stood there awkwardly for a moment before she brushed a quick kiss across my cheek that had me momentarily stunned, and then she turned and walked back to the porch.

I climbed into the driver's side and glanced back at the house. There were so many good and bad memories that had come from this house, but really wasn't that what life was like? Not everything could be good all the time. Was it time for me to make my own memories away from the place where I had established myself?

As soon as I got home, curiosity took over. What could be in the boxes? Lugging them into the elevator and into my apartment, I set everything on my dining table. Opening the smallest box first, I shouldn't have been surprised. It contained a cooking utensil carousal complete with anything you would need to cook and bake, along with a small knife block and knives. I could only take a guess as to what was in the other two boxes. Tearing both open, my suspicions were confirmed. The biggest box was a 12-piece pot and pans set, and the other box was a baking set. The only surprise was what looked like a homemade spiral cookbook. Flipping through the pages, all the recipes were for Joe's and my favorite dishes. Although the majority of them were the same, there were a few I knew were just Joe's such as the cabbage rolls.

Tears rolled down my cheeks at rapid speed at the sight of such a simple thing.

Two months ago I never would have thought I'd have absolutely no Joe in my life. I hadn't seen or heard neither hide nor hair from him. Did he change his numbers because of me? Was he that desperate to separate himself from me? And I still couldn't figure out why he hadn't mentioned anything about moving away. It hurt. Couldn't he have at least considered being my friend? Allowing myself to think about everything I was trying so hard to block from my mind sent me into choking sobs.

Getting into the shower, I let all my emotions come out hoping it would be cleansing. Maybe I could wash away all the depressed and lonely thoughts if I let them go down the drain. I stood there long after the water turned cold, until all tears were gone and there were no more to be spent.

I climbed into bed utterly exhausted and changed my thoughts to tomorrow. It was Monday—a fresh start. I'd go into work with a smile on my face and capture all of the FTA's Connie had lined up for me.

* * *

Monday came and went, along with Tuesday and now Wednesday. I wasn't sure if I was happy or sad I hadn't heard from Marisa. I knew she had all my current contact information since I'd given her one of my business cards. I was starting to get nervous she and her bosses had decided I wasn't qualified enough.

By Tuesday night, something had come over me, and I had attempted to make one of my mom's recipes. I knew I could cook a little, but after having managed to excessively burn the casserole, I decided to take on something slightly simpler. I stopped by the store and grabbed a beginners cookbook, thumbing through the pages until I was able to find something that sounded easy and good. Taking the book with me, I then collected all the items I'd need and headed home.

I could see the red and blue lights flashing long before I pulled into the parking lot. As soon as I saw the fire tuck spraying the side of the building that my apartment was on, I mentally went through my list of recent FTA's. No one would want to fire bomb my apartment again! The last pyro I dealt with was long ago locked up and still there as far as I knew. I parked at the far end of my lot, keeping my fingers crossed that Rex was okay.

Getting out of the truck, I headed toward the main lobby. In my peripheral vision, I saw a lone dark figure making its way over.

Turning my head, I should have known.

"Ranger."

"Babe."

"I didn't know you were back. Why are you here?"

"Just got back a few days ago. I came when I heard your address over the scanner." He looked up at the apartment. "It wasn't yours for once. Mrs. Delgado's cat put some toy with cat nip next to the gas stove while it was on and set the place on fire."

In a rush, I expelled all the air I was holding, "Wow, that's great." Realizing how that sounded, I added, "I mean that's really unfortunate, but I was sure it was my apartment."

Letting a small smile form, Ranger hooked his arm around my neck. "Rex is around here somewhere. One of your neighbors grabbed him just in case. Why don't you see what you can collect and head over to RangeMan? Your apartment is still intact, but they won't be letting anyone back in tonight because of all the smoke."

I shouldn't have been surprised by the offer from Ranger, but I was still trying to distance myself from him for my own good.

I took a step back to get out of the embrace. "Thanks, but I think I'll go stay with my parents. It's been a long day, and I haven't eaten dinner." I said it in all my most confident voice that always seemed to fail me when around Ranger.

"Babe," he paused. "I can't remember the last time you said yes to something I offered. Why are you acting so weird?"

_Acting weird?_ Acting like my true self was acting weird?

Rolling my eyes, I met his gaze. It was time for some honesty. "I feel like I do nothing but take from you. And I think it should stop."

_Wow, that felt pretty good._

"No price—remember, Babe."

"Yeah, I know that's how it was supposed to be, but it's not. I've paid a price by feeling guilty among other things."

He shrugged his shoulders. "Alright—your loss. Let me know of you need anything," he said, giving me a brief kiss on my forehead before turning and walking back to his Turbo.

I'm not sure what reaction I was expecting when I gave my honest answer, but it hadn't been this. It reinforced that, no, he did not care as much as I'd allowed myself to believe he did. I guess you could say the same about me. I know Ranger will always hold a special place in my heart, and it was nice to know we were on the same playing field.

Packing an overnight bag and then grabbing Rex from one of my neighbors, I headed over to my parents' house. It was well after seven o'clock by the time I arrived, so my mom fixed me plate and chatted with me about this and that while I ate. I was all too happy to hear that Grandma Mazur had attended a viewing with one of her girlfriends, and they were going out to play bingo afterward.

I watched the evening news with my father and then made my way up to my old bedroom, calling it an early night. Before I closed my eyes, I made sure to say a silent thank you for Rex's and my safety and also for always having a place for us to go.

* * *

Thursday arrived, and I was just dropping off my last skip. I planned on going home and lounging after picking up Rex. I already figured my mom would send me home with food, so I didn't need to stop at the store. _Ghostbusters_ and popcorn for dessert sounded like a great night. It was the first time in a while I was looking forward to an evening alone.

Waiting for my body receipt, I heard an all too familiar voice, and my breath caught. Looking behind me, my eyes followed Joe who was walking with a gorgeous leggy red head with the most beautiful green eyes. She was sex in heels, and he was leading her to the door with his hand at the small of her back.

I had to look away and catch my breath. My heart was pounding out of my chest and felt as if it shattered when I looked back up to see him give this tramp a kiss on the lips.

I know it was awful of me to think of someone I didn't know in such a bad way. But she'd just kissed Joe.

_On the lips!_

Those were my lips. Again I had to remind myself that no part of him was mine and hadn't been in quite some time. As Andy, the docket lieutenant, passed me my receipt my cell rang. The read out displayed Marisa's number.

Quickly flipping my phone open, I put my head down and passed Joe and his new love interest while answering.

"I hope you haven't been sitting on pins and needles waiting for my call," she laughed. "We just got everything straightened out and would like to offer you my position. We made some changes, and I've decided to take a year off since I'll have three kids under 5. I can send you over the incentive package and agreement overnight as soon as you make the decision." Excitement was pouring out of her.

Without thinking twice, I said. "Send it out. I'll take it."


	2. Chapter 2

I do not own anything, everything is JE's.

Thank you to everyone that left a review! So nice to hear from everyone.

AGAIN! A _**HUGE**_ thank you to Carol and Julie. Incredibly blessed to have you both as Betas- that's right! I take a team to get each chapter together :-)

If you haven't already checked out Carol's 'It's About' series or Julie's 'After Eighteen' you need to get over there ASAP!

* * *

**Chapter Two**

My original plan of a quiet, relaxing evening was thrown out the window. After witnessing Joe so obviously moving on with the redhead, I ended up driving straight home and falling asleep on the couch. Curled up in a ball, wearing a ratty pair of Joe's sweats and an old t-shirt he'd left behind, I tried my best to keep my tears at bay but failed miserably.

The following morning I had the worst knot in my neck from my horrendous sleeping position. Hopping in the shower to wash away yet another physically and emotionally painful night, the full impact of the decision I'd made to take the job hit me. Momentarily freaking out, I closed my eyes, but forced myself to see I'd made the best choice for me. Joe was moving on, so—

_Wait!_

Joe had been at the Trenton Police Department. What the heck had he been doing there if he'd moved? And who was that stupid red head? How could he have moved on so fast? Okay, two months wasn't exactly fast, but couldn't he have taken a little more time? Who the _hell_ was _she_ anyway!

Pushing all thoughts of Joe aside, I knew I had a lot to get done. I had less than a week and a half from today to get all my affairs in order.

_This change could be good._ I could be a new me. A fresh start! No expectations of how I was supposed to act, or what I was supposed to do. Philly was far too big to have people constantly talking about my latest exploits. Maybe this would be what I needed to get over Morelli since he'd obviously gotten over me! There'd been times over the years I'd put every effort into forgetting that damn man, and I never could! But not this time.

This time would be different!

My package arrived at 10 o'clock, and with shaky hands, I ripped the large legal sized envelope open. I couldn't believe my eyes! Everything Marisa had said about this bike being better was true. E.E. Martin was a Huffy compared to Macy's Schwinn! Not only were they paying me an overly generous amount of money for the next thirteen and a half months, but the health benefits were outstanding- I couldn't remember the last time I'd had dental insurance! And they were allotting $4,000 toward my move. Signing on the dotted lines, I shoved everything back in a new envelope and planned on making Fed-Ex my first stop of the day.

Immediately calling Marisa, I couldn't contain my excitement.

"Oh my God," was all I could get out when she answered the call.

Marisa laughed. "I told you," she said as if she knew all. She probably did know all since we spent some time going over how she helped negotiate my salary and moving allowance to be used for any and all associated expenses.

We made plans to meet up the middle of the following week where she'd join me on an apartment search and possibly furniture shopping. I was going to give all my furniture to Goodwill. Most everything I owned was hand me downs anyway, and I could store whatever we might find in her garage until the move. The more time I spent on the phone with her the more excited I got.

Chugging a cup of coffee and shoving a Pop-Tart in my mouth, I was out the door running. Finally! I felt like I could be excited for my future. Despite only being contracted for little over a year, Marisa had said there were many other opportunities there if this went well.

I was still upset about my current lack of relationship with Joe. I wouldn't even call us friends, and I would soon be saying goodbye to my friends. Determined not to let any of it bring me down—at least not today—I focused on the too many things I had to do.

Dropping off my envelope at Fed ex, I made my way to the bonds office. They had completed the new office about six months ago, and every time you walked in you were greeted with the mixture of coffee and new construction smell.

It wouldn't be the first time I'd quit without notice, but this time I wasn't coming back. No more garbage, no more naked felons to go after. Ahhhh, I felt like I could finally breathe again.

Connie was at the station re-bonding someone, so purposefully avoiding Lula, I barged into Vinnie's office. Probably not the smartest move, but luckily I wasn't accosted with any images or noises that would haunt me in my sleep.

I handed over my hand cuffs and announced, "I quit."

Vinnie jumped out of his chair. "You what? You can't!"

"Actually I can, and I just did. Deal with it." Vinnie was still bug eyed and absorbing what I had said, so I walked away. Keeping my chin up, I went and grabbed a cup of coffee. I knew Lula had heard my conversation since I hadn't closed Vinnie's door.

"What the hell is goin' on?" she demanded from behind me. I turned around to a royally pissed Lula. Her bright purple spandex, complete with sparkles, was blinding me from where the sun was shining off the ensemble. Her hands were fisted at her waist, and her belly was jiggling slightly from just the motion of her putting her hands there.

"I'm moving. Getting out of here. Fresh start."

Lula went from angry to hurt.

"You weren't gonna tell me? Ask my advice or somethin'? Don't you remember what happened last time I tried this shit on my own?"

I laughed, unable to hold it in. "You called me on every case. Trust me, I haven't forgotten. Sorry, Lula, but I needed to do this on my own. Plus, it's not like your advice has helped me in the past." I was all too aware I shouldn't put the blame solely on her. After all I _was_ an adult.

Lula went right back to angry mode, but before she could start, I amended my last statement. "Okay, I'm sorry for that last little bit, but really I have to do this. I feel it's what I need, so I'm going to do it."

"_Hunh_! Well, are you still going to come around and visit?" Lula asked, sounding deflated.

"Yeah, I'm sure I will. I won't be too far away, and I know eventually I'll miss my family," I replied equally as sullen just thinking about my family. "Tell Connie I'll call her. Maybe we should do a girl's night before I leave."

I stopped by Mary Lou's next. I'd kept her up to speed on everything going on in my life since she'd always been my sounding board. She was never one to mince words, _especially_ when it came to Joe. Unfortunately I used to just let the words go in one ear and out the other. Her words still echoed in my head, _"You have JOE MORELLI sleeping in your bed every other night and you don't know what you want to do with him? You need to be some serious medical help." _

Despite that, she let me know how excited she was for the change I was about to make. Letting me know I had made more than enough selfish and immature decisions, she demanded I learn from my mistakes. And in the end, all that mattered was Mary Lou supported my move.

Thankfully, Lenny was taking the boys on a camping trip for the weekend, which left Mary Lou to her own devises for the weekend. We agreed, since it would be my last Saturday in Trenton, to make it a girl's night.

We planned to grab a bite to eat and go to a low-key place to dance. I'd never really been into dancing or going out for that matter, but this was a start of the new me! Maybe new me liked dancing! I called Connie at the office, and she immediately agreed to join us. After yelling across the room to Lula, she was on board as well.

I went back to my apartment and started going through all of my belongings. After four hours, I didn't feel like I'd made much progress. Perhaps it was because for the last hour and forty-five minutes, I'd been stuck going through a memory box of sorts. Every card I'd received since my horrible split from Dickie was in an oversized boot box.

Originally I was going to toss the whole box, but then I remembered what else it contained. My last Christmas card from Grandpa Mazur was in there, along with all the get-well cards I'd received from when I'd been shot by Jimmy Alpha.

However, the most cherished items in the box were the cards from Morelli. Anytime he'd had to go undercover or had to work with an outside agency that took him away, he'd leave a card in my mailbox downstairs. I couldn't remember a single time he'd spent the night prior to leaving he hadn't left a card on his way out. I would always be giddy with excitement and try and resist the urge to run down stairs and grab it immediately after watching him leave from my window. Neither of us were romantics, but the fact he had gone to the store and picked out something for me instead of using every moment getting ready to do his job always touched my heart.

Almost all the cards would be blank inside so he could write, and the front would be some sort of funny picture. One in particular stood out to me. Taking it out of the box, I slid my hand over it as if wiping away the invisible dust. On the front, it said, 'Screw the carbs and hit the cake'. On the inside, it said, 'Happy Birthday', only Joe hadn't bought it for my birthday, so he'd put a line through it.

I let out a little laugh; his handwriting was always the same—legible, but let's say he'd have never received an award for 'Best Penmanship'. I couldn't stop the tears from rolling down my face. _Why was I crying so much? _Without thought,I pulled out the yellow roses he'd sent a few days later that I'd dried.

_Cupcake,_

_Go figure that I'd have to go two days before Valentine's Day. I know we didn't have any plans set, but I PROMISE I'll make up for lost time as soon as I get back. It doesn't have to be said, but I will anyway, I'll be thinking of you every day I'm gone, as always. Go get the bad guys and stay out of trouble._

_Love,_

_Joe_

_P.S. I know it isn't your birthday, but I couldn't find a card that better suited you._

What a fool I'd been to think he never supported me. Right there, in Joe's _own_ handwriting, was the proof of how wrong I'd been. That was one of many issues I thought I'd had with _him_. Only now I was beginning to think that the issues had lied within _me_.

Standing up, I looked over everything I'd placed into piles. One pile was for trash, one for Goodwill, another had items I needed to box up and move with me and a couple of smaller piles had to be delivered to certain people. Lula would get all my bounty hunting paraphernalia. Not that there was much, but everything was sure to come in handy for her. Mary Lou could use the candles I'd never burned along with some frames I couldn't remember ever buying. My mother could use the extra blankets and pillows I almost never took out, and I planned on getting new ones anyway.

I grimaced at how much stuff I owned but never used or had forgotten about. I'd gone through all the rooms and closets except my bedroom and was shocked at the sheer amount of stuff I had. Who knew I'd been a miniature hoarder.

In the kitchen, I found a large Macy's bag and stuffed all the pillows and blankets inside. Probably since Mary Lou and Lula knew I was moving away I should tell my parents before they got the call. Although prepared for the possibility, it was in my best interest to make sure the news came from my own mouth.

As usual, my mother and Grandma were waiting at the porch when I arrived. Lifting the bag off the passenger seat, I smiled at what all I'd brought. I forgot to look if there was an employee discount offered with my new job. I halfway hoped not, considering how much damage I could already do without a discount.

"What ya got there?" Grandma asked as I made my way up to the porch.

"Oh, just some stuff I thought you could use." Sticking my hand in the bag, I listed everything, "Hand towels, blankets and pillows—things like that."

Realizing why I was bringing over extra stuff, her face looked like she was trying to mask some sadness, "So you made your decision? Your mother told me about the job offer," she said, throwing her thumb in mom's direction and perking up. "And I agree you should take it."

"Thank you, Grandma." I smiled because Grandma was my Mary Lou inside the family.

"Too bad we can't go chase felons anymore. It's been a while since we worked as a team."

I snorted. "Yeah, we had some fun times. But I'm sure you'll find other things to keep you busy when it's slow at the funeral home."

That was another good thing to add to the list of reasons why I'd made the right choice—no more funerals to attend for people I didn't know! On the other hand, I was really starting to see a change in Grandma. Not just her lack of vivaciousness, but in her features as well. She didn't look beyond her mid-seventies, but her wrinkles seemed more pronounced, and her laugh lines were looking suspiciously more like frown or pain lines. Maybe I was looking too hard since Val and Mom said something. Probably the sun was catching up with her.

Shuffling into the house, my mom put everything I brought into a laundry basket. No doubt she'd have everything washed and ironed five times before I made my move. I stayed for lunch. Even though it was just your standard sandwich ensemble, I savored every bite and every moment. I knew it wasn't my last meal _ever_ at home. I just wasn't sure when I'd be back again. Plus, I was having a great time. I could tell me moving away was affecting my mom. Yet surprisingly, she wasn't going for the liquor cabinet—yet.

"Do you have dinner plans for Friday evening?" my mother asked hesitantly.

"Nope, not so far. Why?" I said between bites of my pastrami on rye.

"I was thinking we could have a few people over for a little going away dinner party for you," she offered sheepishly.

"Uh, who is 'a few people'?" I questioned, trying to hide how scared I was. When my mom got into any kind of party planning mode things tended to get out of hand.

"Well, your sister and her family of course. Mary Lou and Lenny— maybe her kids could play with Valerie's." _This wasn't sounding too bad_. Then I she turned her head, and I could barely hear it, "And Joseph."

"What! No Mom. You know Joe and I aren't together anymore!" _God, how awkward would that be?_

"I know, but I've heard that before. When I was talking to Jamie at People's Bakery, she said Joseph moved to Pennsylvania. I thought perhaps that's why you said yes to this job, and you didn't want us to know."

Hmmm, I'd tried not to even go there with my thoughts. Was it a good or a bad thing that Joe and I would be living in the same state again? I would have to get to the bottom of that one in my mind—later.

"No, we aren't moving there together. We haven't talked in over two months." I tried really hard to not make my disappointment in that last statement evident, but it was no use. It was obvious by the frown I couldn't fight.

"Well, who knows who you'll meet?" Grandma finally chimed in. "Maybe you'll find yourself someone even more studly than that bounty hunter you work with."

_Fat chance of that! _

She continued, "Not that Joseph isn't a cutie, but that Ranger…" She let her sentence fall off as her eyes glossed over thinking about him. Oh how I remember that feeling! _Glad I got over it._

"On that note, I should be off. People to see, ya know—things to do."

My last mission for the day was to go see Dillon and give my notice. My lease was up in a month, so it was perfect timing really that I'd fallen upon this job. It was like for once in my life everything had lined up in some cosmic alliance, and it seemed this job was meant to be.

I stopped by the grocery store and picked up a twelve pack of beer for my unlikely friend. I couldn't think of anyone that knew their building super as well as I did mine. He was all too thrilled about the beer but was disappointed I'd be moving. I think it had more to do with the fact I wouldn't be there to call him for a favor and produce more beer rather than that I wouldn't be around anymore.

* * *

Saturday night rolled around. During the day, I'd gone through some more of my junk and scheduled the Goodwill truck to come on Thursday. The upcoming week was going to be busy, so I was looking forward to going out that night and escaping some of the responsibility. I don't—or more like can't—drink much, so it's not as though I planned to drown my sorrows and worry and excitement that were all somehow mixed together. I was just happy to be going out with my friends.

Taking one last look in the mirror, I was pleased with what I saw. The outfit I picked out wasn't something that would attract the creepers out there, but it certainly wasn't my Annie Oakley outfit either. Going against the heavy makeup most Jersey girls wear when they go out, I went with a few coats of mascara, light blush and a faint pink lip-gloss. My hair was down, since I rarely wore it in anything other than a pony tail these days, and fell into loose curls just the way I wanted it to.

I had on a black, draped, one shoulder dress that fell two inches above my knees. It was a bit billowy up top, but it didn't necessarily hide what I had to offer and was fitted at the skirt. It definitely wasn't something I'd normally wear, but I'd purchased it on a whim a while ago, and this was the perfect opportunity to wear it. To complete my outfit, I wore black dangly earrings, a black and silver charm bracelet and finally four inch, black, peep toe heels.

When I'd pulled the dress out of my closet, I immediately knew what shoes to wear with it. I'd purchased the pair to wear with an outfit for a TPD Charity Benefit with Joe, but by the time we'd been ready to leave, I'd needed my wobbly legs as steady as possible. There weren't many times we hadn't somehow wound up in bed before an important dinner or event—call it our 'get ready routine'! I always enjoyed being that much more relaxed by the time we arrived. Anyway, I'd ended up wearing a pair with smaller heels and, as a result, had never worn this pair.

Quickly giving Rex a treat and locking up, I picked up Mary Lou. It'd been a while since she'd been out sans kids and husband. She was dressed to the nines Jersey style. Big hair, big makeup, slut dark blue dress and stiletto knee high boots. If I hadn't known better, I would have thought she was on a mission. Luckily I did know better, and this was just Mary Lou. Hopefully everyone would look past her outfit and pay attention to her wedding ring.

"I am so excited! I've heard fab reviews on this place. It better not disappoint." she said as she climbed into my truck.

We were headed to Sapphire. It was brand new on the outskirts of Trenton, and, like she said, talk around town had it hyped up to the max. The place served a mix of food—anything from cheeseburgers to Italian. And at night, the center of the place turned into a dance floor with a "Top 10 DJ".

Arriving at the same time as Connie and Lula, I realized I'd have to get used to going out as a single woman again, because apparently I'd done everything wrong tonight.

"Girl, why are you lookin' like that?" Lula asked as soon as I locked the truck.

"What are you talking about?" Confused, I wondered if I had mascara on my nose or something else equally as embarrassing.

"I thought you were here to get a man to take home tonight. You and I need to get ready together next time." She bobbed her head as she spoke.

Looking down at what I was wearing and then back at Lula, I couldn't help but think Lula was dressed as I'd always known her to dress. Outrageous! Neon pink hair, six-inch cheetah pumps, and a one-piece white jumper short suit that was five sizes too small, four inches too short and showed every crack and crevice. I tried my best not do a full body shake as I took it all in.

"What's wrong with this?" I wondered, pointing at my outfit. "I don't know about you, but I'm here to have fun, not take anyone home. This isn't cute?"

"Yeah, it's cute, but not what I was expectin'. I've seen some of the other shit you've bought, and I was thinking you was gonna wear something a little more figure huggin'. Of course you don't have the curves like me, but you got a little somethin'."

"Uh huh," I smiled. Lula never failed to disappoint when it came to knocking my fashion, but this was me—take it or leave it.

As we ate, we chatted about my move, Mary Lou's family and laughed about the candidates taking over my position at the bonds office. People had thought I was bad, but I couldn't believe how many people out there had fewer qualifications than I'd had! Didn't plumbers know you couldn't hit someone upside the head with a monkey wrench to haul a body in?

The food was delicious and not too pricy, so that made it even better. After the waiter took our plates, the girls ordered the fourth round of drinks. I still had half of mine, trying to pace myself. Who knew what could happen if I got drunk around those three. Both Connie and Lula staked out a man, while Mary Lou and I sat back and people watched.

After laughing over Lula gyrating her body all over a poor, unsuspecting man, our conversation turned serious.

"So, how are you feeling about the move—really?"

"A little bit of everything. I know it's only been a few days since I've decided to go, but I can't believe how much I'm going to miss my family. Deep down it makes me appreciate them more."

"Yeah—are you excited for the dinner party on Friday?" Rolling her eyes, she knew exactly how I felt.

"Oh you know me—I _love_ dinner parties, especially when they're for me." I matched her eye roll, and we both laughed.

"Who have you told?" I knew what she was really asking.

"Just you guys and my family. I figured the gossip loop would take care of everyone else."

Right then a man in his early thirties approached us. He was dressed in black slacks and a gray, button up dress shirt and black dress shoes. He looked like he'd just come from a meeting and taken off his tie.

"Ladies," he greeted with a nod.

I looked over toward Mary Lou sipping on her drink. She was trying not to smile, and I was waiting for her to say something. I was sure he was there to ask her to dance.

Wrong.

He extended his hand toward me. "Care to dance?"

I'm sure I looked as shocked as I felt. Finally taking a moment to look at his face, I noticed he was handsome. His hair was dirty blonde. He had blue, soul searing eyes, high cheekbones and a lovely smile. He obviously kept himself in shape.

Taking my lack of words in, he said, "Sorry, I just couldn't bring myself to put off asking you to dance any longer. My name is Alexander MacLaine, or Alex as I prefer."

Finally reaching for his hand, I returned. "Sorry, Stephanie—uh— Stephanie Plum."

I winced, waiting for him to recognize my name. When he didn't say anything and simply lead me to the dance floor, I started breathing again. That's when I realized the DJ was playing a slow song. Nerves immediately kicked in. This wasn't what I'd come there for—at least not to dance with a man. I'd come to dance with my friends. Oh well, I guess it was just one dance.

The dance was nice. There was no inappropriate touching and enough space for me to feel comfortable. I had my head turned to the right, watching Connie swaying with another man. As soon as the song was over, I was about to separate myself from Alex and thank him when I felt him jerk and turn his head toward the left.

"Excuse me, but may I steal your lady friend for the next dance?"

My ears heard the voice, and slowly I turned my head in that direction. I couldn't be sure I was afraid if my ears had betrayed me or if they were correct. But yes, there stood Joe looking oh so delectable in a pair of gray slacks and a deep purple shirt with the top button undone.

Hormones that had lain dormant for over two months were now screaming!

Alex looked at me for approval, and, with a slight nod, he released me, taking my hand and kissing the top of it. "Thank you, I hope to see you around," he said.

I managed to respond, even though I was looking at Joe, "Uh yeah— you too."

Joe and I stood there for a moment just taking in one another. My feet were planted to the floor, and I think Joe sensed it, so he took the extra two steps to stand in front of me. Taking my hand in his, he wrapped the other around my waist, and immediately it was like old times. I don't even know if the song that played was fast or slow. I was too much in my own world enjoying the contentment I felt at being in Joe's arms again, taking in his smell and reveling in the comfort he brought whenever he held me.

"Who was that guy?" Joe asked curiously.

"Alexander MacLaine, but he prefers Alex," I said, mocking Alex's voice. We both snorted.

There was a mixture of uncomfortable and comfortable silence for a beat before Joe broke the ice again. I could tell there was more he wanted to ask but he let it be.

"You look beautiful, as always," he spoke low against my ear, sending shivers down my spine.

Reluctantly, I picked my head up from his chest and shoulder where I'd placed it to look at his eyes. "Thank you. You're looking pretty fabulous yourself." The happiness I felt at that moment could be heard in my voice. There was no hiding it.

He smiled, and I tucked my head back onto his chest. After a few moments of quiet, I asked the question that'd been plaguing me since the day before. "Are you going to my mother's for dinner Friday night?"

He stopped moving and took a step back. "No, why would I do that?"

Confusion lay on his face. Apparently she hadn't asked him. Whoops! Maybe for once my mom had listened to me when I said we were over.

"Oh! My mom's just doing a dinner party thing for me," I mumbled, looking down. _What an idiot!_ As much as I wanted him there, I also didn't. It'd be way too awkward.

"Sorry, Steph, but I go back to Philly on Friday morning. What's the dinner for?"

I didn't reply. Either he was acting like he didn't know what was going on, or he really didn't know. Somehow I couldn't bring myself to say it aloud to him. It'd be harder for some reason than telling anyone else. I was still picking what subjects to let my 'denial folder' handle, and most everything having to do with Joe belonged there. As a result, I went with 'he didn't know'.

Both of us were broken from the trance we'd seemed to be in while dancing, and realized there was a much faster paced song to which neither of us wanted to dance.

"Manoso taking you home?"

Joe had been taking me back to my table at a pace that suggested maybe he didn't want our moment to end. When he asked that question, however, I stopped dead in my tracks and looked at him.

My answer was a mixture of anger and disbelief. "Noooooooo," I drew out. "Why would he?"

Joe looked absolutely baffled, and then the cop face slammed everything down. "I figured once we were officially over you two would continue where you left off after Hawaii."

His words and lack of tone stung. It reminded me he'd known, and denial was no longer approved on the 'Did Joe know about Ranger?' subject.

_Shit._

Other than one time after my return home I hadn't let Ranger sneak as little as a kiss out of me—let alone sleep with him. While I'd told myself it wasn't because of my complicated relationship with Joe, in truth, that'd been the majority of the reason. After Joe had called it quits, it'd seemed like the right thing to keep on doing. Even though I wouldn't have had to deal with the guilt of being in a relationship with Joe, it kept me from feeling dirty, and that's how I'd begun to feel about my relationship with Ranger.

"No," I repeated simply.

I had no idea what to say after that. We'd reached the table and all three girls had wonder in their eyes. I could only imagine what they were thinking.

Joe nodded hello to the girls and said, "Well, I'd better go catch up with my group. It was nice seeing you, Steph."

"You too, Joe. Take care."

I wanted so badly to kiss him and hug him and never let him go, but I couldn't. I still could see the look in his eyes and the sound of his voice when he'd said he needed 'something different'. Never in my life would those two words sound the same to me again. There had been such permanence when he'd spoken them that evening. It still made me shiver whenever I thought about it.

The drive home was a blur. Mary Lou slouched against the passenger window snoring loud enough to rival my grandmother. Amazingly, I was able to drown the noise out with my own thoughts. Why hadn't I pushed harder for Joe to come to Friday's dinner? Why hadn't I asked more questions like why he'd moved to Pennsylvania? What had he doing in Trenton _again_, and who had been in his group he needed 'to get back to'?

Had he been on some kind of double date with his new lover? _That_ thought disgusted me. What possessed him to ask me to dance? Had he been watching me? Why hadn't I come out with more information about why Ranger and I weren't seeing each other in _any_ way? The questions were endless.

* * *

Wednesday came, and I made the drive to Philadelphia. I left mid-morning to avoid the traffic Marisa had warned me about. Despite my forethought, the normal forty-five minute drive turned into almost two hours, and it was after Noon by the time I pulled up to the Macy's that would become my second home.

We were going on a hunt for my newest home that day, and if all were successful, we'd be looking at furniture as well. That was the part I was most looking forward to. I hadn't looked for a new place in which to live since I'd moved from my marital home with Dickie into my own apartment. Then I'd chosen my apartment more based on cost rather than appeal. This time was going to be different. Not that I wanted to spend half of my salary for the next year on an apartment, but at least I had _choices_.

I met up with Marisa in the lobby, and we were soon on our way. It turned out Philadelphia wasn't so different from Trenton. Just as the Burg is a small area inside the greater city limits, Philadelphia has more of the same. Today we were heading out to look at apartments in the Italian Market, Brewerytown and Bella Vista areas. Since I was moving on such short notice, there were less than ten apartments to look at that would be available to me within the next week. Since Marisa knew the city better than me, we took her car.

"I love playing tour guide. It's like a reminder to myself of all the interesting stuff around here," Marisa commented as soon as we were out of the driveway.

As we passed through neighborhoods, Marisa would tell me the drawbacks and advantages of each neighborhood. The first apartment was nice, but too narrow and cramped. The second apartment was absolutely beautiful, but was out of my budget. The third wasn't in the best neighborhood, and with the fourth—the real estate agent never showed up. On the way to the fifth apartment, disappointment began to settle in, seeing as we were more than half way through our list.

"This neighborhood is called Brewerytown, because, waaaay back when, there were nothing but breweries off the main river, which is over there." Marisa pointed toward the west. "It went downhill for a long time, but now the real estate agents are calling it 'a young professional's neighborhood'."

She and I both snorted a laugh at the same time.

"Well, I'm not quite a professional, and I'm not exactly young, so I hope they don't have an age limit." I half joked.

"Pu-leez! You've plenty of years ahead of you—well, at least you do now that you aren't bounty hunting."

I rolled my eyes, because it was probably true. I loved how Marisa and I had slipped back into our easy friendship as if the lack of communication between E.E. Martin and now hadn't existed.

I'd been looking out the window, taking in all the scenery, when we pulled up to in front of my potential new home. This wasn't an apartment, but a nice little row house. It was down a one-way street not far from a nice park that had a walking trail and a little playground. Most of the houses on the street were brick fronts that had been painted over. I could see the real estate agent standing in front of a red brick place. There wasn't a lawn—just an even sidewalk with two cement steps leading to the front door.

As soon as we walked in, I was I love and praying the rent was in my range. The place had an open and airy feeling. When you walked in the front door, immediately to the left was the dining room. In front of that, but separated by a wall, was the kitchen. The kitchen was much bigger than my last place and had all new cabinets and appliances because the whole house had just been renovated.

The kitchen had a bar, and off of that would be the living room and half bath. All the walls were a light cream with a medium hued wood, which made it look even more open. The stairs led from the living room into a hallway. Going up on my right was a smaller bedroom or office. In the middle was a full bathroom—again with all new fixtures. And finally there was the master bedroom, which was much bigger than the other bedroom and had a walk in closet. Shoes here I come! The best part was the fact that the price was below what I was looking to spend every month.

After being assured the crime rate was low and that's why there weren't any metal bars on the doors and windows, I signed a sixteen-month lease, paid the deposit and had my keys in hand. Marisa and I took one more look around sizing up rooms and making lists of what I'd need.

I stepped onto the back porch. It wasn't big, but it had a small area to house a couple chairs and a table—perhaps even a small barbeque. The grass was so green and lush I wanted to take my shoes off right then and walk on it for no reason.

And that reminded me of Bob.

Morelli didn't have lawn, but I knew Bob would enjoy it if he did. I turned around with tears in my eyes to find Marisa watching me from the doorway.

"What is it? Are you changing your mind?" Concern laced her voice.

"No! No, nothing like that. Everything is fine, and this will be a good start," I insisted, waving my hands to indicate it was no big deal.

Locking up, we headed to Brothers Furniture in Philadelphia. By the time were finished, I was completely exhausted. Luckily, I wouldn't have to shop for anything more other than décor and linens. I purchased a futon for the spare room; an off white bedroom set that included headboard, footboard dresser and night stand; a small entertainment center and sectional couch and finally a dining room table with matching breakfast nook chairs for the kitchen.

Oh, and a mattress. If I'd thought the lawn would remind me of things at home—and Joe—it was _nothing _compared to thinking about a new mattress. All in all I was proud but pooped. All the furniture would be delivered on Saturday afternoon. I had two days to pack what belongings I'd bring with me. Tomorrow Goodwill would come, Friday would be the dinner party night and Saturday would be moving day.

* * *

Since I was mostly packed for the move, almost all my clothes had been packed away. Therefore, I didn't bother dressing up for Friday's dinner. It was going to be a casual dinner anyway with the most important people in my life. Surprisingly, when I arrived, I wasn't greeted by anyone other than the people whom Mom had mentioned. Not surprising, Joe wasn't there. Even though I'd been battling my feelings over him coming and had told my Mom not to invite him, I still found myself disappointed he wasn't there.

Dinner finally wound down, and, as in the past, all the kids and men went to the family room to watch television. Most likely it would be cartoons seeing as the amount of kids outweighed the amount of adults by quite a ratio.

"So Stephanie, you said you had two bedrooms. Are you getting a roommate?" Grandma asked.

"Nope—it's just going to be me and Rex," I said with a smile. I had the perfect spot picked out in the kitchen for Rex. Maybe with the abundance of light in the house Rex would be less nocturnal.

"Would you mind some company every now and then?"

Of course my dad chose that moment to walk into the room, and his eyes immediately grew big, and a smile formed on his lips. The smile looked like it took a lot of effort since it was a rare occurrence he allowed such a display.

"Um, what did you have in mind?" Now I was scared. I'd love to have Grandma visit me, but I wasn't too sure I'd have the time to make sure she kept out of trouble.

"Well, you know all about my arthritis."

Of course I knew, although it had taken a while to figure out how bad it truly was after realizing she wasn't her normal self.

"Well, I've been going to physical therapy, and that's helping. But the doctors want to try a different therapy."

Grandma was never one to act her age so having to admit the age of her bones was slowing her down had to be really affecting her. I sympathized with how she felt in some ways. Admitting the truth to yourself was hard enough let alone having to admit it to others.

"Okay, what else is there?" I asked hesitantly, waiting for the worst. She seemed so hesitant to come out with whatever it was she needed to say.

"Well, they're calling it alternative therapy. Not sure what that is, but it is in Philly, so maybe after seeing the doctor, I could see you and then go to one of them speed dating places in town too." She laughed, and it seemed as though the rest of us let out a giant breath. Not that what Grandma had said wasn't important, but if she could add a little happiness in her world then the rest of us could as well.

"Of course, Grandma."

I was certainly happy I'd bought the futon. Val had said she'd be making plans to come over with her girls, and Mary Lou had said she'd ship her boys away, so we could have a girl's night every month or so.

The night ended with teary goodbyes, reminders to stay safe and to check in often. It was the _best_ family dinner I'd ever had.

Before I knew it, Saturday arrived, and I was up bright and early. By eight o'clock, I was on the road to my new life, and I couldn't help but wonder what it would bring.


	3. Chapter 3

A big fat THANK YOU for all the reviews! Always appreciated!

Julie and Carol-I will never be able to thank you enough-seriously!**  
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**Enjoy!  
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* * *

**Chapter 3- First Month**

"Everyone—please welcome Miss Stephanie Plum. She is Marisa Chance's interim replacement. She'll be with us for at least a year, so make sure to treat her nicely," spoke the Vice President of Purchasing, Eastern Territory, Alex MacLaine with a wink.

You have _got_ to be kidding me! I thought Trenton was small. Apparently the entire Eastern Seaboard was too small to have a dance with a stranger. And what was with the wink? Did he remember me, or was he just a wink-er? Either way I'd been thrown slightly off kilter when he'd walked in the room.

It was Monday morning, my first official day as Macy's 'Lead Purchaser-Shoes-Eastern Territory'—at least that's what my brand new business cards read. Marisa had called me Sunday night to let me know the monthly meeting would be happening at 9 AM the next day. She'd "just wanted to prepare me" that the VP was going to be there along with every lead and his/her assistant. Apparently the Vice President had been out of town doing the standard recheck of everyone's inventory and had just come back.

"Don't be nervous," Marisa had assured me. "I know you'll fit in just fine."

Yeah right, for some reason the fact that I'd danced with my boss at Sapphire a week ago, even though I'd had no idea he was my boss, made me even more nervous.

I'd spent the better part of Saturday and Sunday unpacking my few boxes. Going through each room, I'd made a list of things I'd need. In the kitchen, I wanted matching dishes and silverware. The hodgepodge I'd collected at my old apartment just didn't fit in my new home. I also wanted frames for all the photos I'd wanted to put out through the years but had never gotten the chance. I'd made a mental list of how I wanted to decorate each room, but that shopping trip was going to have to wait until Mary Lou would be able to get away from home and spend the weekend with me.

Lastly, I unpacked my clothes. Luckily, I had plenty of clothes that met Macy's dress code policy. The clothes I'd used to consider my funeral attendance wardrobe could now become my professional wardrobe. Of course with my new walk-in closet, there was now plenty of room for more clothes. When I'd read through the company documents, I'd been happy to see panty hose was not a mandatory part of the dress code. Evidently things had changed quite a bit since my last stint in an office environment.

My house had a small laundry room underneath the staircase, so I wouldn't have to go to the Laundromat anymore. Unfortunately, it wasn't stocked with an iron and ironing board. Hopefully once I purchased both items ironing wouldn't become my new favorite pastime to bide the time in a new city. Probably I needed to call my mom to find out which brand was the best to buy.

I finished off Sunday in the laundry room, nervously picking out an outfit for the following day from all my clothes I'd freshly washed. I didn't want to give anyone a wrong first impression of me. In Jersey, people are taught to judge what a person is like based upon the way they dress. I finally settled on black dress pants with a matching suit jacket, a cream sleeveless satin top to go underneath and a pair of demure black pumps.

So here it was—Monday morning—and I was in a large conference room with about fifty people. Every department lead—Men's, Ladies, Lingerie, Home, Kids, etc. _and_ their assistants were going around the table introducing themselves. Looking to my righ,t I shot Marisa a panic stricken face. How was I supposed to remember all these people? For the last couple of years I'd worked with five people or less. Marisa let out a small, knowing laugh and mouthed 'don't worry'. _Right, don't worry!_

After the morning meeting concluded, it was well after one o'clock. I didn't realize there was so much to do, and again I was wondering if I'd be able to do this job and possibly make this into my next career. Every department evaluated sales numbers, vendor relationship statuses and contract renewals. Since I hadn't been involved in gathering information, I was there to watch and learn.

I was heading back to my shared office with Marisa when a woman approached me. If I'd had to guess, I'd put her at right around my age. She was a little on the plump side and a little shorter than me with dark brown hair and darker brown eyes. She was dressed slightly more casual than I was, but so were most of the people in the building. Now I found myself hoping everyone didn't think I was uptight and snotty. Mentally scanning the list of names I was given this morning, she saved me the time and stress.

Extending out her hand, she said, "Amy Stark, Lead for Misses. Nice to meet you." Her voice didn't match her body. It was squeaky, and I wondered how long before I would have to cover my ears.

Taking her hand, I replied, "Thank you. I'm Stephanie Plum. Nice to meet you too."

"After the monthly meetings, usually Shoes, Misses and juniors get together for lunch. Since you're a part of shoes, I thought you should know and join us."

I liked the way she called everyone by his or her department. That gave me hope I'd be able to learn who everyone was.

She must have read my train of thought somehow, because she continued, "I was able to memorize everyone by their department my first week. There are over seventy five employees here, so once I was able to do that their names just began to stick."

Suddenly her voice wasn't grating on my last nerve. Her advice was welcome. Even though the task of learning everyone's names was still daunting, her method made it seem easier.

Remembering why she had come up to me to begin with, I smiled. "Sure, that would be nice."

Marisa and I took the same car, and the four of us met up at Jed's Diner. Apparently the assistants usually came to lunch as well, but since Marisa's assistant Dave was taking a week of vacation, the other two assistants had decided to do lunch in the lunchroom. On the ride over, Marisa had outlined my training schedule. Later in the week and into the next week, we'd start introducing me to the vendors, distribution center and store contacts.

Outlining the main operations, she ticked everything off—making sure items were marked down and ads for the upcoming week were correct, checking in on deliveries, shopping the competition, and, of course my favorite, well, now that its wasn't underwear I was buying, obtaining samples of shoes. Then came the reports—store sales reports, target market reports, inventory reports, the list was endless. I hadn't even started any of my official duties, and already I was completely overwhelmed. I know I used to do this for a living, and it wasn't like I was fired for poor performance, but going from bounty hunting to buying shoes for the entire eastern half of the United States was a scary, scary task.

Arriving at Jed's, we joined Amy from Misses and Sue from Juniors in a corner booth. The entire place was decorated like a giant picnic. Quilts covered the seats, the tablecloth was a red and white checked pattern and all the condiments were in a little wicker basket. The atmosphere was laid back, and they offered home-style comfort foods. I knew immediately I would look forward to these lunch dates and was sad that they would only happen once a month. But that's probably why they had so much to talk about. Of course, there was gossiping about some of the co-workers—the usual who was dating whom and who was flirting with whom. As long as the gossip wasn't about me, I was happy. I'd had more than enough gossip spoken about me to last a lifetime.

"So, tell us your story. What brought you here? I heard you moved from Jersey," Sue asked in-between bites of her French Dip sandwich.

I choked on my meatball sub, spewing an inappropriate amount of sauce onto the table in front of me. One second the girls were talking about Dave, Marisa's assistant, hitting on Lingerie's new assistant, and in the next moment, the spotlight was on me. Worse yet, it seemed far too bright. I knew eventually someone would ask about my past, and it wasn't like Sue's question was anything but a curious question. Still there'd been so much judgment in the Burg about my former job choice. I just wasn't ready to go through that with these people—people I barely knew. And then there was the _bigger_ reason I'd moved out of state. I'd barely admit that to myself, let alone _anyone_ else.

I got my coughing under control by slurping up my Coke as if I would never have a drop of liquid again and replied, "I ran into Marisa, and she mentioned the opportunity since we used to work together."

"She was—what do you call it?" Marisa asked, looking at me with a humorous smile.

I let out a heavy sigh. "A Bond Enforcement Agent. Most people would call it Bounty Hunter."

To my surprise, instead of passing negative judgment, they were all excited, asking questions about what the job entailed. I was all too happy Marisa didn't offer any more information on my mishaps from the paper, and Sue and Amy's questions were easy yes or no's.

Amy was the first out of the gate with questions. "So, did you ever have to arrest a drunken person?" There wasn't a hint of negativity in her tone.

"Probably on a daily basis," I replied and watched all three faces scrunch in disgust.

"I bet they stunk," Sue said. She didn't know the half of it—stale alcohol and more than likely a lingering smell of throw up. Thinking back now, I couldn't believe I'd lasted so long dealing with that level of scum.

I just nodded an affirmative as I took another bite of my sub. It tasted good, but it wasn't Pino's, and the company certainly wasn't as good as home. Not that I wasn't enjoying my time with my freshly made friends. They just weren't Joe.

"Did you ever have to shoot someone?" Sue asked next. I sat there debating how to answer. I didn't want to be dishonest, but I certainly wasn't ready to get into the gory details of how far my shooting abilities had extended.

Before I could answer, Marisa started gathering our trash and plates to take to the trash bin. "Time to get back to action ladies." Saved by the lunch hour bell.

When we returned to the office, we had less than three hours of work left. Having a set schedule was yet _another_ perk of the job. Not only was I not going to have to worry about if I would have enough money for rent each month, but I wouldn't have to exhaust myself trying to push the pennies as far as they could go. Weekends would be mine to do whatever I wanted.

* * *

I was utterly exhausted by days end and couldn't wait until my head hit the pillow. So thankful that my drive home was less than fifteen minutes, I slapped together a ham sandwich and cracked open a beer. I gave Rex a chunk of bread and made my way over to the couch. I didn't even turn on the television. I just wanted to space out and eat.

I couldn't get the girl's question out of my head. Did I ever shoot someone? Yes, and I'd killed two people. I think that's why I hated my gun so much. Somehow, someway, I was good at aiming for the target and making contact. It wasn't like I'd practiced on any sort of regular basis. What kind of person did that make me? Those were the thoughts that would haunt me late at night when no one else was around.

It had been years since Alpha and the TriBro incidents, but I'd never come to terms with either situation. Per usual, I'd used my incredible 'mind block out' mechanism. Over the years those scary thoughts would filter their way into my dreams. I don't know if I'd talked in my sleep or if he just _knew,_ but on those nights, I'd wake up with Joe wrapped around me, slowly rocking me or rubbing my arms and back soothingly. It was always the same routine the next day,

"_Cupcake, you know it was self-defense right? You didn't have any other choice._" His voice would always be filled with concern, and in return, I'd always roll my eyes and come back with the standard, "I'm fine," even though both of us had known I wasn't. Eventually he'd relent and either drop it or in a more exasperated tone, _"There are people out there that can help you sort through your feelings if you aren't willing to talk to me about it. You know I'm not going to judge you. I've been there. I can relate."_ I knew he was right—about all of it, but Plum's didn't do therapy. That's what shopping and food was for! Just keep burying whatever was bothering you until it was too deep to re-surface and hopefully in the meantime you didn't wind up having to claim bankruptcy or gaining a hundred pounds.

That moment was when I _finally_ admitted I _needed_, for my own wellbeing, to stop blocking everything out—to stop burying every single doubt, fear and choice I'd made, because nothing was being solved. No matter how hard it would be, I needed to start righting wrongs, confronting my fears and taking over my dark thoughts. I'd already started making changes before I left home, but there was still so much simmering at the surface that I needed to take care of.

I couldn't help but laugh. Did I like to torture myself? I'd just started a new job I wasn't even sure I was capable of doing, and now I wanted to confront all of my demons? Unless it had to do with making sure there was a roof over my head, I usually stayed away from anything I wasn't one hundred and fifty percent sure I could accomplish. I guess it was time to grab the bull by the horns.

"You miss me already?" came the cheerful voice of Mary Lou that I'd desperately needed to hear.

"You know it. When are you getting your butt down here?"

"Pushy, pushy! Sorry lady, I don't have a weekend I can get away from the boys this month."

"Ugh, are you serious? Lenny can't keep the kids for a day and half?" I was whining and I'd bet money Mary Lou was rolling her eyes.

"You just moved two days ago. You can get through a few weeks without me," She laughed. "I've got birthday parties, and Lenny's working double shifts because they're shorthanded. By next month, I'll be able to make it—I promise."

"Fine! But when I don't stop talking for three hours, don't blame me," I responded tartly.

"I won't. Listen, I need to get the kids to bed, and you should do the same. Call me tomorrow."

Turning out the lights, I made my way upstairs. There was more I wanted to talk to Mary Lou about, but she was a mom, and she had her duties. I let my mind run wild with all that I wanted to change before I willed it to shut off so I could sleep. I had another long day ahead of me tomorrow and needed as much brain power as I could muster.

* * *

The next two weeks had ended up flying by. I'd caught on with the processes and procedures easily, and I'd gone the whole time without making a total fool of myself. My previous worries about getting fired for being incompetent were diminishing. Although not completely gone, they were shrinking. I suppose it was healthy to never think I was above being fired. Sure, I'd made a few minor mistakes, but I was human. It'd happened, but no one had yelled or told me I didn't belong there. Better yet, Marisa and I had easily been able to find solutions.

My third Tuesday in the office, Marisa and I were going over sales stats for several of the North Carolina stores when she said, "I've been meaning to tell you—" she paused to write totals.

I was going over sales totals for another store and had my right hand on my calculator and the other flipping pages. I stopped, waiting for her to continue and slowly counted while I waited some more. Patience was one of many of the things I'd decided to take on in my self-improvement. I'd told myself I was working from the inside out. I'd even gone to the bookstore to get a few books to help, but I'd yet to actually open any of them. They were currently decoration on my coffee table.

I'd made it to fifty before I cracked, "You were saying…"

"Oh, yeah— sorry," she laughed. "I was going to talk to Alex to see if we could get a trip to New York booked. The seller at Steve Madden wants to meet you Friday and Saturday, and I thought we could hang out in the City."

"That sounds like fun, but didn't James just get shot down for a trip that cost him the sales bonuses at Carter's? And should you really be traveling? I don't know if I am up to being a doctor if you went into labor," I joked.

Marisa shook her head. "I have a feeling Alex isn't capable of saying no when it comes to you, plus I still have a month left of this pregnancy—one _very_ l-o-n-g month. This isn't the first baby I've had, so I know the signs of when the bomb is going to drop."

I giggled and then sat up a little straighter, catching on to the first part of what she'd said. "What is _that_ supposed to mean?" I questioned. My voice was just a tad higher than normal.

"Like you don't see it! Please, I think your eyes have some kind of hypnotic power over Alex." Her face was stuffed back into her mountain of paperwork so I couldn't get a good read on if she was serious or not. After all, we did joke around a lot.

Not liking the direction of the conversation, I started running numbers again as well, but I was completely flustered by her comments. I finally gave in-again. "See what? He comes in and checks on us and then goes back to his job it's not like—"

She cut me off. "He has spent more time in our little space these past few weeks than the whole time I have worked here. Need I remind you that I've worked here for four years?" She stood up. "Come on—I need a break. These numbers aren't adding up, and it's driving me mad! I need ice cream!"

"Jeez—I thought I had a close relationship with Ben and Jerry. Your husband might get jealous if he knew how close you are with them!" I laughed at her. Lord knows I'd been consuming my fair share since I moved here, which brought on a mental groan. I needed to find a gym pronto before my ice cream consumption caught up with me.

We were in the break room shoving spoonfuls of Cherry Garcia into our mouths. "Mmmmmm, sooooooo good. Now where were we?" Marisa sighed, eyes closed.

I think her ice cream was taking her to a whole other level, and I was jealous. I'd yet to buy a shower massager and that was the reason I'd been eating massive amounts of ice cream and any other sugar I could get my hands on—although hanging out with a pregnant lady also was a good excuse to indulge.

"We are going to New York," I replied, loving the milky goodness going into my mouth, but not quite appreciating it the way Marisa was. If anyone thought I loved food, they yet to meet her!

"Well yeah, but I was talking about Alex."

"Oh. I don't know what to tell you. He doesn't treat me any differently than anyone else. However, if we get a trip to New York on him then I'll happily hypnotize him with my eyes." I batted my eyelashes and smirked.

Marisa laughed, "If you say so."

* * *

Of course our trip to New York was approved and other than the fact that we'd made apparent enemies with James, I was beyond excited. I hadn't been to New York City in a while. The last time was when Joe had taken me for a Rangers seemed like everywhere I turned had _some_ kind of memory with him—except at my new home, and that was where I wanted them. I didn't let myself think of that happening.

_Sigh._

I knew reconciliation was out of the picture, but old habits died hard, and I'd find myself thinking of all the other times we'd break up only to find ourselves back together like nothing had happened. However, his last words still haunted me.

"_You know, Steph, half the time I'm not even sure if we're off or on. How old are we? I know you aren't the only one to blame here, but I need something—" He paused, and I held my breath._

"_Something different."_

"_And what would that be?" Now I was officially angry. Where had that come from?_

"_I'm not sure, but permanent would be a good start. As far as I can tell, you aren't interested in making a permanent 'on' with me."_

What had he meant by something _different_? I wished he were here so I could ask. No doubt I'd still get mad, but I needed to know exactly what those words meant. Was it me? Was it my personality that needed to be _different_? Was it my body that needed to be _different_? Was it the way my mind worked that needed to be _different_? Did I need to learn to cook and clean and be way too merry with a perma-smile on my face?

_WHAT DID I NEED TO CHANGE?_

And the whole permanent thing—I wanted it too. Oh, God did I ever want it—_especially_ right now. I knew without a single freaking doubt, the reason I didn't have it was entirely my fault. Leaving the second I didn't like what I was hearing or feeling didn't show how much I'd cared. Was it too little too late? Probably. But I knew if I ever got the chance to tell Joe again, I'd tell him everything—how much I loved him, how much he meant to me, and, unfortunately everything about Ranger. Maybe it would do more damage than good, but it was something I felt deep down needed to be done.

My cell phone ringing brought me out of my thoughts. It was Friday morning, and I was supposed to be packing an overnight bag for New York and then making my way to pick up Marisa. We'd have to hustle to make it on time for our two o'clock appointment with April, the seller at Steve Madden. Apparently April and Marisa were good friends and that was why we were going to see April versus calling her like we'd done with all the other vendors.

I ran downstairs as fast as I could, realizing I definitely needed a gym membership.

"Hello." I answered breathlessly.

"Hey, where the hell are you?" It was Marisa. I glanced at the clock. _Oh, crap!_ If we wanted to get to the city on time we needed to have left fifteen minutes ago!

"Grabbing my bag—I'll be there as soon as I can."

I hung up and booked it back upstairs to grab my overnight bag, hoping I hadn't forgotten a change of underwear. I drove faster than I'd ever driven, and that was saying something considering I'm a Jersey girl. Amazingly, I arrived ten minutes before scheduled. I'm fairly certain Marisa had her eyes tightly shut for the majority of the trip.

We met with April, and I knew exactly why Marisa was a friend with her. She was smart, with a quick wit, but took her job seriously. She was someone I could take definitely take a few traits from and apply to my new life.

"Now it's time for fun! Come on, I know this great pizza place." Marisa tugged my arms down the sidewalk. I learned real fast after I started working with her not to get in the way of her appetite, so I let her lead. We were in New York, thus I didn't question her choice of food, and, as promised, Danny's Pizzeria was the best.

"You can't hurt me for what I'm about to say."

I shoved another breadstick into my mouth. "Okay, but no promises."

"I asked Alex if he liked you."

"YOU WHAT?" I couldn't have controlled the level of my voice if I'd tried, and obviously I didn't.

"Shhhh," Marisa said, looking around. "It's not a big deal. I was just curious. I did it after he approved our trip. Best free pizza ever, huh?"

"Huh-uh—no changing the subject. Why do I feel like I've been time warped into middle school? What the hell were you thinking?" I asked, completely flabbergasted.

"I wasn't. I just wanted to know. I thought you were single—sorry." She looked at me apologetically.

"It's not that. I mean I am single." The words tasted as bitter as they sounded. "I just don't think Alex is my type."

"So what's your type since it isn't hot, successful, and um, hot. He's pretty loyal—oh—and funny too. If I wasn't already married, I couldn't be sure I wouldn't be jumping his bones right about now."

Her words reminded me of Joe—_again ._"Maybe I'm not his type."

I wasn't even ready to think about moving on from Joe, the love of my life. _Whoa, where had that come from?_

"Doubtful, considering what he had said. But since you just confirmed you're single, what's the big deal here? He seems to like you and he tries to flirt with you. Now that I think about it, you don't really flirt back. What's up?" She looked at me quizzically, stuffing another piece of pizza into her mouth.

"Are you sure you're ready for this? It isn't exactly short and it isn't pretty," I said.

She replied, "Only tell me what you're comfortable with, but yeah, I'd like to know what you've been up to. You've been pretty quiet about anything personal."

There was something in her tone and demeanor that I felt comfortable with. Maybe it was the whole motherly thing coming out. I debated within myself for a moment as to how much I'd tell her, but why hide anymore? So, as we finished up our pizza and made the trek back to the car, I told Marisa all about my sordid history with Joe and Ranger. I didn't really say much about Dickie since we'd been working together during that time.

My entire history with the two men, which had been such a huge part of the last three years of my life, came out. All my regrets and fears—all my shame—came pouring out of me. I had to stop a few times to regain my composure, and I managed to only shed a few tears. The entire time Marisa didn't say a single word. She just nodded and made eye contact, letting me know she was listening. It felt so good to let all of it out. No one knew the _entire _story behind Joe, Ranger and me._ I_ still hadn't come to terms on the how or why it all happened. The hardest part was telling her about my breakup with Joe, and how I wanted to change the person I am.

"I've never been the type of person to _need_ a man by my side, so I have no idea how I got so wrapped up with two. I don't know if I'm ready to get into another relationship" I finished my story.

"Well, they both sound like incredible me in different ways. And you shouldn't be changing for anyone but yourself." Marisa turned to me, looking concerned.

"I know, and it's not—well, it's not like I'm getting Joe back, so I don't know what I'm trying to prove with some of this stuff. Maybe I need to prove to myself I'm capable of being cook or—I don't know—maybe someday someone will benefit from my change."

We'd reached the car and planned on going shopping. I needed the retail therapy after the cleansing with Marisa.

"Do what you feel is right, but when it comes to a new relationship you won't know if you're ready or not if you don't try."

"True, all I know is I'm not about to go out and look for a relationship, so I guess I can just see what happens."

"That's all you can do." She smiled such a sincere smile, that I was grateful for Marisa's friendship right then.

Hugging her, I said, "Thank you for letting me get that all out. I owe you."

"No you don't. You needed to let it out, and what are friends for? Now let's go before I need to eat again."

And off we went.

* * *

It was the last Saturday of April. The month had gone by far too fast, and I'd enjoyed every minute of it. I was excelling at my job, and I was having fun doing it. There were stressful times, but with Marisa by my side I worked through it. I was on my own after tonight, and as ready as I was ever going to be.

The following Monday would be the start of Marisa's maternity leave. A few co-workers were meeting up for a final dinner and baby shower combo. Frankly, I was surprised Marisa hadn't gone into labor yet with all the false alarms she'd had in the last week. I now knew Mark, Marisa's husband's, phone number by heart, having had to dial it so many times to give him status updates.

Hauling the company gift out to the truck, I swore every step of the way. The thing was heavy! Everyone to be in attendance had pitched in some money toward the wooden, white hope chest. Marisa had one for her other two kids that collected blankets, special toys and pictures. I walked back in the house and went to the half bath. I had sweat droplets on my forehead and wiped them off. I also touched up my makeup and out the door I went.

I was the last to arrive to dinner—go figure—and there was only one seat left. Lo and behold, it was right next to Alex. My eyes immediately went to Marisa, giving her my best evil eye. She merely smiled as if she didn't care what I thought about the situation.

"Sorry I'm late. What have I missed?" I asked as I made my way over to the table. Before I got to my seat, Alex got up and took out my chair for me.

"Glad you could make it," he said, scooting in my chair after I sat down. I was still shooting daggers at Marisa, who was wrapped up in a conversation with Lewis, Sue's Assistant.

"Me too." I tried to brush him off. Ever since Marisa's and my talk in New York, I'd felt slightly uncomfortable around Alex. Not sure why—he wasn't a bad man.

"Hey James, can you help me with the gift later?" I called to him down the table. To that I got an 'of course'

Our excellent dinner was held at a tiny, Italian restaurant in the Italian Market part if Philly. The food made me miss home. I was proud that I'd lasted my first month away without breaking down and going home. I was planning a weekend trip to the Burg next month where I'd bring Grandma back with me for her physical therapy.

I did, however, call my mother just about every other day, which surprised me. The distance was doing us some good. Either my being away from home gave us the space we'd needed to build a better relationship or maybe our relationship was growing because I hadn't been responsible for any explosions.

As everyone finished dinner and conversations dwindled, people started leaving. Marisa was going around the table saying her goodbyes, leaving me for last.

"You can call me with any questions, or if you want company while you eat ice cream."

"Thanks, and you'll call me as soon as the wee one is here?" Marisa and Mark had decided against knowing the sex of their baby. I think I was more curious about it than they were.

"Yup, go have fun!" She shooed me away before leaving.

I turned around to the table, ready to make my exit as well. Grabbing my purse, I was saying goodbye to the few people left at the table when Alex gently took my arm to get my attention.

"Hey, I'm getting ready to leave too. Mind if I walk you to your car?" he asked, taking his hand back as I stared down at my arm.

I looked up at him. "Sure." It was pretty late. The sun had long gone down.

We walked out to my car in silence. I could tell Alex wanted to say something but was still trying to find the courage. Evidently, he must have found it by the time I started unlocking my door.

I turned to thank him, but was cut off. "It's been a while since I've done this, but I was wondering if I could take you out to dinner sometime."


	4. Chapter 4

First, I want to say I am so sorry for taking so long to post this chapter. I will try my best not to let it happen again :)

Second, Thank you to everyone that is reading and reviewing, I hope you like it so far!

Third, I am forever grateful to Julie and Carol for all their help and encouragement. You both are absolutely amazing!

Lastly, I don't own anything, everything is JE's.

* * *

**Chapter 4, Month 2**

"It's beautiful," I breathed as Alex pulled his white BMW Alphina B7 into the valet area of Water Works Restaurant and Lounge. I thought Ranger's cars were nice. Not even the first Porsche I had destroyed could hold its own against Alex's car.

"Not as beautiful as you," he replied. If he was killing me with kindness, I was surely dead.

It was Saturday night, and one week ago at Marisa's going away party, Alex had asked me on a date as he walked me to my car.

"_It's been a while since I've done this, but I was wondering if I could take you out to dinner sometime."_

_My mouth __gaped open, __and I watched as the look of concern and anxiety laced his face the longer I put off speaking._

"_I'm sorry, from what Marisa said you were available. I'm so sorry."_

_At his comment, the first thought that flashed through my brain was killing Marisa—after she had her baby—and then I started feeling guilty for leaving him hanging without an answer. He turned to walk away, and I grabbed his arm this time. _

"_I think that sounds like a great idea." Wait—I was supposed to turn him down nicely. At least that's what I told myself I was going to do. _

_Alex laughed nervously for a second and then looked directly in my eyes. "Does next Saturday work for you?" At my nod, he said "Is five too early?"_

"_No, it works for me." _

_He put his hand over mine where it was still on his arm. "Drive safe and have a good night."_

I'd spent all of Saturday trying to work off nervous energy. I'd cleaned Rex's cage— twice, cleaned all the dishes—even the already clean ones—and had scrubbed every nook and cranny of the house. There very possibly were threadbare spots in the carpet from me vacuuming the same spot over and over. At least I was doing stuff off my personal change list. Finally, around three o'clock, I declared there was no more to be done, and I couldn't stall any longer and hopped in the shower.

Getting out freshly washed, shaved and exfoliated, I slathered my body in lightly floral smelling lotion. I had no plans of getting 'lucky' tonight but pulled on a matching set of lacy black underwear and bra. Putting on a robe, I blew my hair dry and put on my makeup. I definitely needed a couple extra coats of mascara, so I kept applying it until my lashes were on the verge of looking gunky. Taking off my robe, I put on a simple, form-fitting, black, short-sleeved dress with a scoop neck and black peep-toe heels.

All I needed was a little jewelry to finish off the look. Alex had come into my office Friday night and told me to dress nice, "Nothing too fancy but not too casual." I opened my jewelry box to look for a simple pair of cubic zirconia studs and a bracelet, and the happy mood I was working myself into was gone. Another reminder of happy times with Joe—the friendship ring he gave me for Christmas. It really was a pretty ring, and I almost debated on wearing it with my outfit, but I would probably be stuck in a melancholy mood the entire night. That is if I could snap out of it before Alex arrived, and I'd more than likely be staring at it throughout dinner.

The doorbell ringing snapped me out my reverie. Glancing at the clock, it was 4:15— earlier than I expected. I fluffed my curls and plastered a smile on my face. This was going to be a good night. Maybe it wouldn't lead to a relationship, but I was going to have fun, even if I had to fake it. I took my time going downstairs. No need to open the door out of breath.

I opened the door to Alex wearing black dress pants and a light blue dress shirt that brought out his eyes. He looked very handsome and was holding a beautiful bouquet of stargazer lilies.

Seeing me staring at the flowers, Alex said, "I didn't want to go overboard with roses yet." I let out a nervous laugh and smiled.

"Come in—I don't have a vase, but I'm sure I can find something to put these in for now." I took the bouquet, instantly smelling them, and led him into the kitchen.

"This is nice. It has a homey feeling," Alex said, glancing around the kitchen and living room.

"Uh Huh—I haven't finished decorating or doing much with it really," I said absently while looking for a jar.

"Our reservations aren't until five, but I wanted to make sure we had plenty of time to get there."

I had just finished putting the flowers in a pitcher, placing them on my breakfast nook and turned around to give Alex my attention. "Where is 'there'?"

"You'll see as soon as we arrive. I promise you'll like it." He winked and then smirked.

"Okay, I guess we're ready to head out then."

He nodded, and we headed toward the door. As I locked up, Alex had opened the passenger door and was waiting for me. As soon as I was seated and buckled in, he shut my door. I mentally eye rolled and shook my head. _He's just being a gentleman_. I wasn't used to this treatment, and I was caught between liking it and hating it.

On the way to the restaurant, I found my nervousness wearing off, and I began to relax into a nice conversation with Alex. As soon as we'd arrived at the Water Works, I had been in awe. The historical building was right off the Schuylkill River; its classic 18th century architecture was evident by the large white columns and rock brick.

"Have you ever heard of Water Works before?" he asked as he took my hand and led me to the main dining room.

"No, I wish I would have." My eyes were taking in the floors, ceilings and walls. They sure don't make stuff like they used to.

"It was the first municipal water delivery plant," he stated. "The inside was just renovated within the last couple of years and made it into a restaurant, and there's an educational science center further down the property."

"Wow." I was still in awe. We didn't have anything like this near Trenton, at least not that I'd the privilege of seeing yet.

He turned his attention away from me and toward the wait staff. "We have reservations under MacLaine."

"Right this way, sir," a young male waiter stated. We were led out to the open veranda right on the river. Tiki torches lighted it—again the site was breath taking.

As soon as we were seated, Alex asked, "It isn't too cold for you out here is it?"

"No—Even if it was, I wouldn't want to give up this view."

He nodded his agreement, and we relaxed into random conversation while we ordered. When our meals finally came, I couldn't wait to dig in. Noting my surroundings and the type of place we were dining in, I made sure to be on my best behavior and took my time eating. The filet mignon was delectable. When I found myself at the end of my meal, I was still wishing there was more. Dessert arrived, and I couldn't contain my excitement. I'd ordered 'The Water Wheel' and a coffee. It was a flourless, triple raspberry torte with Bavarian Cream and Chambord ganache.

To say it was rich was a huge understatement. I pushed aside my plate with a very satisfied "Mmmmmmmm."

"I always like a lady that isn't afraid to eat," Alex chuckled.

I snorted. There was no way I was going to act too reserved to enjoy such a good meal.

"So, I was wondering how you like your job? I didn't want to bring up work, but after I heard you were a bounty hunter previously, I guessed purchasing wouldn't have the same thrill."

_Uh oh, what had he heard? _"There was too much thrill. My heart beat needed a break from going too fast," I replied.

"So you don't regret coming here?"

_Not in this moment_, I thought to myself. "No, there was a lot going on back home. I needed to take this step."

"Care to share?"

I feigned a yawn; not the topic of conversation I wanted to go into. "Maybe another time. Thirty some odd years are too much to cover in one night."

His eyes sparkled. "Ah, so you're agreeing to another date? You make my life too easy, honey."

_Had I? And did he really just call me honey?_ "How about next time we go somewhere a little more low key," I said, laughing.

"Was this too much?" he asked, motioning with his hands around the restaurant.

"No," I laughed again. "It was wonderful. I just don't want you to go broke charming me."

It was Alex's turn to laugh. "Oh—so I charm you now, do I?"

Smirking, I said, "Maybe just a little."

After taking a leisurely walk around the property, Alex took me home. I was surprised and scared at how at ease I'd been for the entire date. The closer we got to my house my nerves worked their way back into my system. I felt like I was in high school and being dropped off after my first date.

"If you don't mind I'll walk you to your door." I nodded my assent, and we made our way up to my small landing.

"Thank you. It was a nice evening," I said, wanting Alex to know that yes I had a good time, but the fun for the evening stopped here.

"No, thank _you_ for giving me the best company I've had to dinner in a long time. I look forward to doing it again." Without letting another moment pass, he took his right hand to cradle my left cheek and placed a kiss on my right cheek. Without moving his face any further away, he said, "Sleep tight." Without another word from me, he returned to his car.

I unlocked my door and ran to the phone. I _definitely_ felt like I was back in high school and needed to call my very best friend forever to give her every single little detail. In the middle of dialing Mary Lou, I realized how late it was. Ugh, too late to call and tomorrow she'd be too busy with Mass and Sunday School. Lula and Connie had gone on a double date tonight, and I wasn't about to interrupt the aftermath of that. I knew Marisa was trying to get as much sleep as possible before the baby arrived. Oh well, maybe I'd keep this one to myself and see where it went. No, I'd need to at least tell Mary Lou. It's tradition!

Going to bed for the first night since the big split, I didn't have the urge to cry since my last thoughts weren't of Joe when I fell asleep.

* * *

Monday started off with the normal monthly meeting and lunch with Sue, Amy and the assistants at Jed's.

"So, I overheard Jessica talking to Sarah while they were waiting for the elevator and someone had a date with the big boss and didn't tell us. Said he can't stop smiling today," said Dave, who was now _my_ assistant.

Since everyone at the table was either married or otherwise taken, they all turned and looked at me. "What?" I said shrugging my shoulders, "It wasn't a date. Which Jessica said this? Jessica—Alex's assistant—or Cosmetic's Jessica?"

"Jessica—Alex's assistant—Jessica. That's how I knew it was true. Okay, tell us _now_."

"That's why she was giving you dirty looks during the meeting," Sue observed.

I put my hand up. "Okay, for one thing, we're just getting to know each other so don't go getting too excited," I said to Dave. Turning to Sue, I added, "Why was she giving me dirty looks? I don't get it."

Amy answered, "Everyone knows she has a crush on Alex. Tell me you haven't seen it when you go to his office."

"Actually I've never been to his office. He always comes to me." They all started laughing.

"Laugh all you want. Jessica has nothing to worry about." Changing the subject to get the attention off of me, I said, "So Dave, you ready to help me lead next month's meeting?"

He groaned, and I smiled—mission accomplished. The rest of lunch was spent with Dave telling the story of how he had messed up the last meeting he was supposed to help with.

After work I was getting dinner together when my cell rang. It was Mary Lou!

"Tell me, tell me, tell me!" she whined as soon as I answered. So I did.

"The restaurant was that nice?" she asked.

"Yeah, it was amazing and expensive," I replied, recalling the evening.

"You must have _I love Sugar Daddies_ written on your forehead," she teased.

"He came to me, okay? And I _do not._ As a matter of fact, I asked him to take me to a less fancy place next time."

"Why the hell would you do that?" she asked in wonderment.

"Because I'm from the Burg too, remember? Hey, I got to let you go. Dinner's almost ready."

"I didn't hear the microwave ping," Mary Lou joked. "Or a doorbell."

Mary Lou was lucky she wasn't standing right next to me; otherwise, she would be withering in pain with the look I was shooting into the phone. "No microwave in use over here. I'm cooking."

"I think I may just have had a heart attack. You are so making me dinner when I'm there."

"You'll be lucky if I don't poison you for being so mean. Since I miss you maybe I'll wait to poison you the second meal," I teased back.

"Nope—I'll be watching your every move. Have a good night, Steph. I'm glad to hear you're happy there, and I can't wait to see you."

I missed my best friend and couldn't wait the few days it would take for her to be with me. I'd made a few friends through work, but there was nothing like that lifelong friend. In the meantime, I had plenty of work ahead of me and the weekend after Mary Lou was visiting, I'd have another date with Alex.

* * *

"Omigod, I was expecting to come to a place more like your apartment," Mary Lou said as soon as she stepped in the door.

As promised, she came up the second weekend of the month, and I was more than happy to have the company. I was more of a homebody in Philadelphia since I didn't have many friends there.

I grabbed her bag and took her into the living room. "I'm going to pretend that wasn't a rude comment."

Rolling her eyes, she retorted, "It wasn't. This place is nice."

"Are you saying it's too nice for me?" I wondered, while flopping myself down on the couch.

"Well aren't we Little Miss Sensitive today? No, this house suits you well. Give me the grand tour."

"Shut up," I tossed back at her. Heaving myself off the couch, I proceeded to show her the rest of the house. "It's because I haven't had _anything_, if you know what I mean, in _months_."

"What? I don't believe you." She put her hand over her heart as if she was having palpitations.

"HEY! It's true! Leave me alone. Where's my list? You've just reminded me I need to add something to it."

"Oh ye faithful shower massager?"

We both giggled.

"Just do me a favor and don't use it until I'm gone," Mary Lou quipped. "You'll probably use the entire city's water, and I want a hot shower before I go home tomorrow."

"Now _you_ shut up!"

She rolled her eyes at me and laughed. "Let's go."

Mary Lou and I put Marisa's and my last shopping trip to shame. I had every single item on my list, plus more, and then there was Mary Lou's stuff. Good thing she'd brought her van. By the time we made it back to the house and brought in what felt like hundreds of bags, we were both starved as we'd opted to keep shopping over stopping for lunch. Mary Lou kept a bag of M&M's in her purse that luckily had kept us going through the day. Now the sugar high was over, and we needed food with nutrients.

"I'm going to make one of my specialties tonight," I said pulling meat out of the fridge.

"Stouffers?" she guessed. "Wait, did you just pull a jar of spaghetti sauce from the cupboard?"

"No, not Stouffers, and yes I did. You have a problem with that?" I pretended to be angry, trying to keep my scowl as real as possible.

"Are you sure you're from the Burg? I don't even think they sell jarred sauce within a fifty-mile radius. It's blasphemy!" She joked, although probably it was true.

"If you are looking for pasta and sauce from scratch, you're at the wrong place, but I did go kill the cow if that makes up for it," I joked. We both knew there was no way I could hurt any animal.

We had both finished dinner and pushed away our plates—too full of starch to even think about dessert.

"Oh man, I think I'm in love with sauce in a jar." Mary Lou said.

"Yeah, I know; me too." I said, pausing for a moment to debate if I really wanted to ask my question. "So, is there anything new at home? You haven't really said anything." I was fidgeting with the few last pieces of spaghetti left on my plate. I'd been dying to ask her the question since she arrived and curiosity had won over. I felt I'd shown some restraint for being an abnormally curious person.

"Well, there is something." She looked at me, and for once I couldn't read Mary Lou. What was she hiding and why couldn't I tell what she was thinking? I hadn't been away that long had I?

"You know how you said Joe moved _here_?"

"Yeah—"

I was on the edge of my seat. Why was she drawing out whatever she had to say?

"I heard he moved to _New York_."

"Are you serious?" I felt empty. Here I'd been holding out hope eventually we'd run into each other. I'd also convinced myself we hadn't run into each other yet because I stayed at home more often. Apparently I was wrong.

"Where'd you hear that? Are you sure?" I was feeling like I'd just been punched in the gut because my _ex-boyfriend _wasn't living in the same state as me—seeing as he was one of the more significant reasons I'd moved out of our home state to begin with. _I was supposed to be over him. _Hell, I had a _new_ boyfriend that called earlier just to say he missed me.

Her eyes were full of sympathy. "Maybe it's a good thing he didn't move here, Steph. Maybe it's what you need so you can move on completely with Alex." Her voice defied her words as if she couldn't believe in what she was saying.

"Where'd you hear it, Mary Lou?" I asked again with more push.

She bent her head down, obviously not wanting to say it, but she finally peeked up at me and said quietly, "Eddie."

Well there wasn't a doubt now that Joe was, in fact, living in New York. Had it been anyone else who'd told Mary Lou I'd have continued to believe it was just a rumor, but Eddie had been one of mine and Mary Lou's best friends growing up, _and _he was close to Joe.

The rest of the night was spent watching girl movies, staying as far away from anything too sappy. We hadn't done anything like this since we were teenagers—so long in fact I'd almost forgotten I had this side in me. Sure I loved to pamper myself every once in a while and shop, but there was nothing like giggling uncontrollably with your best friend over an inside joke no one else would ever find funny or painting toe nails and putting those silly stickers on them. I couldn't wait for Marisa to have her baby, so I could do this with her when Mary Lou wasn't around. Marisa would never ever replace my Mary Lou, but I knew she would have a place very close to my heart as well.

* * *

The Monday following Mary Lou's visit, I was calling Macy's Suburban Square in Ardmore, a few cities over. I'd just received an email from Kent, the receiving manager at the store, that the last truck was shorted twenty-nine boxes. All the boxes not received were Michael Kors from their new spring line. I knew the protocol, because we'd had shortages before, but nothing of this magnitude. I asked Kent to double check the box count while I checked with Amber, my Michael Kors contact, to see if anything was missed on her side.

Something told me this was not just an oversight, but it's not my job to investigate. I do the ordering and when discrepancies happen, I'm the go between Kors and Macy's. The offending company then opens an investigation when we, at Macy's, deem our inventory is correct and the fault was on the other end. What they do on their end I haven't a clue. All I know is I receive periodic updates and eventually a check is cut back to Macy's and no one gets in trouble.

I've heard horror stories of investigations never being solved. In my mind, this could go one of two ways. The inventory was still at the Kors facility or there was a miscount and Kent would find the boxes. The more I thought about it though, twenty-nine missing boxes seemed to be a little on the extreme side.

After I received the call back from Kent saying there was no way there was a mistake on our end, I alerted Amber and moved on to my next activity—my _favorite _task—going through the sample boxes. I know, it's a hard job, but someone has to do it!

With another successful workweek behind me, I was again ready for a date night with Alex. I wasn't nearly as nervous as I'd been for the first. Maybe it was because he'd said we were going somewhere more low key, or maybe I was more comfortable around him now. At work he always kept our relationship professional—no kissing or hugging, not that we'd done much of that anyways. The only difference was at the end of the day, he would walk me back to my car and give me a peck on the cheek before I headed home. We had gone out to lunch a few times, but, again, there hadn't been a whole lot of physical contact. After being with two _very_ physical men over the last three years, it was nice not having any pressure to take our relationship to the next level. Not that affection from Ranger and especially Joe was a bad thing whatsoever. I just wasn't ready right now to explore more.

I was at the home improvement store picking up a few items for my cute little yard, and I'd just finished getting rung up. I was now a proud owner of a lawn mower, rake and a small tool set. I made the associate double make sure there were instructions for use and assembly for the lawn mower. I wouldn't be surprised if I'd driven him crazy enough to quit just so he wouldn't have to deal with me ever again. As I followed the same store associate I'd tortured with a million questions out to my car to load up the heavy items, my phone rang, and I felt the added skip to my step when I looked at the readout.

"Hey Alex," I answered.

"Hey, honey—listen change of plans," I felt my heart skip, and my walk slowed as if it would put off Alex canceling our date. "Do you have a pen and paper?" he asked.

"Hold on." I rummaged through my bag, wondering what the heck was going on. "Now I do."

"I'm not going to be able to pick you up, so write down this address—8111 Saint Martin's Lane. Meet me there at 6:30 okay? Don't forget—casual."

"Yeah, sure. I'll see you then."

"See you."

As soon as I got home, I pulled up the directions on the Internet. I wasn't all that familiar with the area, so I gave myself plenty of time to get there. As I was driving, I noticed I was going further and further into a residential area. It wasn't anything like the Brewerytown where I was living. This was a neighborhood full of giant family houses, plush green grass and huge trees. I parked my car on the side of the street and took a look to my left. There was another big house and right behind it looked like a country club of some sort. What was I getting myself into? I looked to my right, at 8111 Saint Martin's Lane and a groan escaped. There stood a gigantic, yet adorable, Tudor. Maybe this was his parents' house? He wasn't that much older than me so why would he need such a big house? He didn't have or want kids or a pack of dogs. He stated he was more of a career man than having a family would allow. Those words had sounded oh so familiar—just stated differently than what I'd heard in the past.

I rang the doorbell, and butterflies were fluttering at a manic speed in my stomach. _Please don't let this be his parents' house._ That would mean I would have to meet parents and this was only our second official date. But then again, if it wasn't his parents' house, that would mean it was his, and I really wasn't comfortable with that either.

I'd said I wanted to take our relationship slow. Obviously our 'slows' weren't the same speed. Thinking I should just turn around and leave, he answered the door holding a single red rose with a carnation tied together with a red ribbon and handed them to me. _Oh God! _Couldn't he have gotten any other color? And a carnation with it? It was Clyde and 'The Game' all over again. Where was the dog dart hiding?

More than likely taking the alarmed look on my face to be about our date at this location rather than it really being about the rose, he blurted out, "I thought a home meal and a movie would be lower key for you."

I couldn't bring myself to take the rose from him, and, in my nervous and spooked state, I side stepped him and let myself into his house. _Get a grip Stephanie! He didn't know._ Was I always going to associate that stupid flower combination with one of the most frightening nights of my life? No, I would allow this night to bring new meaning to a simple rose and carnation. After what probably seemed like an eternity it took me to get my bearings straight again, I turned back to Alex who was still standing in the doorway with a stunned look on his face.

"Yeah, of course. Sorry about that. Nerves ya know." I was completely out of my element. The idea of a homemade meal and a movie on the couch was low-key, but nothing about this house was low-key. The inside had six bedrooms and four baths then there was the outside with its oh so green and beautiful landscape. Almost like a fairy tale there was a huge patio and a pond with fish in it and a tree house. This would be the perfect house for a large family, and Alex had no intentions to produce more of his DNA.

"Why such a big house?" I asked after the tour.

"It was my grandparents, and my family didn't want to get rid of it. At the time I was the only one established in the area still, so I bought it to keep everyone happy. I'll go out of town, and my brother or sister's families will stay here."

Look on the bright side, I told myself. It _isn't_ his parents' house. Why was I always finding myself drawn in by men that were levels above me? Ranger and Alex were both monetarily above me, while Joe was light years ahead of me on the maturity level. I cared more about the type of company I kept than the amount of money they had. So far Alex had been great company, opening up to me even though I had shared very little of me. I had covered the basics—family, friends and activities. I'd purposefully glossed over the details of past relationships and bounty hunting, but it was a start.

After a pleasant meal of 'low key', as Alex referred to it—barbequed chicken with a fresh salad and zucchini, we settled in to watch a movie. I ate a little of everything, but I probably would have preferred if there was no salad and if the zucchini was fried, but that's just me.

"How about _Contraband_?" Alex was asking for my option as he sifted through his newer movies.

Hmmmm, Mark Wahlberg—I was about to say yes, when I realized it was probably an action movie. What did Lula say about men and action movies? "You have anything funny?" Whew, the last thing I want is Alex's libido to go into overdrive and connect with my hungry hormones.

He was still going through the DVD case. "How about _Friends with Benefits_?"

"No, definitely not that one." Never seen it, but the title was enough for me.

"Here, I've got it," Alex said, as he made his way over to the entertainment center. He put the movie into the high tech system and turned around to flash me the cover to _Horrible Bosses_.

Laughing, "Okay, but don't get any ideas."

I'd made myself comfortable on the left side of the couch—apparently too comfortable— because I woke to Alex's voice and feeling like an earthquake was rumbling through.

"Steph."

I was in the middle of sleeping and wasn't conscience enough to respond. Slowly opening my eyes, I saw the blank TV screen.

"Stephanie!" Alex's voice broke through into my head, and the tone he used had me on full alert as if something was wrong. I can't believe I fell asleep. I didn't even realize I was that tired or _that _comfortable.

"What?" I asked, swiping dampness from my cheeks. I groaned. _I was drooling_.

"Are you okay?" he asked, looking concerned.

"Yeah, why?" What was with guys? Just because you fall asleep while you are over at their house doesn't mean that anything is wrong with you.

"Because you were crying." He sounded bothered by that. _Ah, men, they're all the same when it comes to tears._

"Hunh—must have been a dream." Not one that I was remembering, thankfully. I needed to make an exit. _Must not have been drool on my face, must have been tears_. "Now that I'm awake, I should head out. I'm sorry for falling asleep during the movie."

"It's alright." He was rubbing my back soothingly. "Honey, are you sure you're going to be okay? The dream didn't sound like a happy dream."

"I'll be fine. Thank you for a great meal, Alex." I placed a small kiss on his cheek and started toward the door. Right as I was about to open it, Alex grabbed my arm, and instinctively I ripped my arm out of his grasp. Realizing he wasn't grabbing me in an offensive way, I gave him a look pleading for him not to question my reaction.

"Steph, one day we're going to _have_ to talk about your past." He was giving me the same pleading, possibly hurt, look right back.

Rolling my eyes, I sighed—a loud, long and exasperated sigh. "I know. One day."

Inside my head was screaming _you aren't supposed to be holding __back. That's __what got you into trouble last time!_ After the attack from my conscience, I added, "I promise." I gave Alex one more hug and went to kiss his cheek when he moved his face so my lips met his. Suddenly the gentle embrace became a little tighter. He made a move to make the kiss into more, and I pulled back.

"Goodnight Alex"

"Night Steph," he sighed.

As I made my way down the tan paver path that led to the street, I couldn't stop thinking about the kiss and hug. There wasn't anything to be afraid of, but it felt different—almost territorial.

Halfway down the walkway, I heard Alex's voice from not far behind me. When I turned around he was right in front of me.

"Who's Joe?"

_Uh oh_. "Why?" My uneasiness was evident in my voice.

"You were calling for this _Joe_ when you were dreaming. Did this guy hurt you?" Alex said Joe's name with nothing but disdain.

_No, mostly the opposite happened. I hurt him_. The almost accusing tone Alex used pissed me off immediately.

"_No_. Joe is a _BIG_ part of that _past_ we haven't talked about." My tone was snippy.

He made a move to grab my arm again-what was with this man? "Let's go talk about that _past_." He said just as snippy.

"No." I shook my head and released myself from his grasp. "I said one day, and that isn't today. But I promise someday you'll know everything."

"Fine," he let out in a rush of air. "Call me when you get home, so I know you got there safe?"

I nodded and quickly got in my car. When I got home, I decided I wasn't ready to talk to Alex, so I texted him instead.

_Home. Had fun, turning in for night. Thanks._

* * *

After the disastrous date with Alex, the workweek went by way too slowly. Nothing new had come of the Kors investigation, and I was doing all my normal ordering, inventory and sample checks. I loved my job, but I couldn't help but feel something was missing. I didn't have enough time to figure out what that was. There was far too much stuff to be done, so I could head out on time Friday to go see my family. I was rushing to the fax machine, and I wasn't watching where I was going—too occupied with making sure all my paperwork was in order. Consequently, I slammed into a well-kept body.

_Oomph!_

"Sorry, I'm so sorry. Jeez, I'm really sorry," I said frantically, while trying to gather all my papers. Now they were_ definitely_ going to be out of order. _I didn't have time for this!_

Hands came into view and started putting the papers together. "Calm down," Alex laughed.

I glanced up from my papers. "Hey," I said softly, "Sorry about that."

"No need to be. You're always apologizing. Listen, _I_ wanted to apologize for the other night. I tried to earlier this week, but you wouldn't answer my calls."

"Yeah I know, I'm—" I was ready to apologize again, but stopped as he waved his hand.

"I understand, and I'll try my best not to push you again." He paused, unsure of how to go on but forged ahead, "It's just hard when I've told you so much about myself, and I know so little of you. I want to get to know you better."

"My past isn't all hunky dory like yours, okay? It's complicated. There are things in my past _I_ am still working through," I stated testily.

I was still upset with the tone he'd used that night. I could understand his reaction, but my brain was holding a grudge against the accusation. Calming myself, I continued, "As soon as I'm ready, I promise you'll know more about me."

"So will you go to lunch with me tomorrow?"

Shaking my head I said, "Working through lunch tomorrow so I can head out early."

"That's right. You're going to your parents for the weekend, right?"

"Yes. I'll be back by Sunday evening."

"Have fun. Call me if you need anything." He brushed a soft kiss on my cheek and headed back to his office.

* * *

Right as I got out the door from work I got the call I'd been eagerly awaiting from Mark, Marisa's husband. Marisa had given birth, and they were now proud parents to another little girl named Sophia. I decided to go see Marisa and Sophia instead of heading to Trenton. I'd leave Saturday morning instead. I quickly called my mom to let her know the change in plans, so she wouldn't send out the search and rescue team. She was disappointed but glad I wasn't canceling my plans completely.

Saturday was a blur. I didn't get the chance to meet up with Lula and Connie, but called and promised next time I was in the Burg they would be the first I would see. I did, however, make sure I hit Tasty Pastry. And I spent the majority of my time with my mother without even getting a nasty case of the eye twitch. We talked about everything and nothing. We met up with Valerie and the girls at the park for a picnic lunch and then headed over to Mr. Alexander's. I still didn't trust anyone else with my hair, and I was long overdue for a cut. While Mr. Alexander was taming the beast, my mother got a manicure. It was so nice to see her relaxed around me. Usually I brought on anxiety in her, and we never found anything in common to talk about.

Sunday arrived all too soon, and I was taking Grandma with me to Philadelphia so she would have her appointment on Monday. Mom and Dad would pick her up Tuesday. Halfway home, I got a call from Alex. He'd tried calling me twice over the weekend. I'd wanted to spend time with my family instead of having my ear glued to the phone, so I hadn't answered. I'd felt badly for the way I'd left things on Friday, so I agreed to lunch with him. I was bringing Grandma though. She'd let me know what she really thought.

"You must be Edna," Alex said, taking my grandmother's hand in his and shaking it, "I'm Alexander MacLaine, but I prefer Alex."

"Nice to meet you, sonny. Stephanie wasn't kidding. You are mighty handsome."

Alex's eyes darted to mine, and I felt myself blush. He stepped closer to me and gave me a light kiss on the lips. "Glad you're back."

"So you're some big head honcho with Stephanie's company, huh?" Grandma asked Alex.

"Yes, I am," he replied.

"That's why you're all stiff, and I don't mean that in a good way." This was the Grandma I knew and loved. I didn't say anything to quiet her spirit. After all, she never did mine.

Alex and Grandma kept most of the conversation going throughout lunch. Not surprisingly Grandma would have some comment that came out of left field, and I would watch for Alex's reaction. At the first few comments, his eyes would goggle out of his head, but by the time lunch was over, he seemed to take anything she'd say in stride.

Alex tried to talk to her about her appointment tomorrow, but, as she did with me, she would brush off his concern, saying, 'It's just the damn arthritis. Stop worrying so much.'

Overall lunch was a success, and when I asked Grandma her opinion on Alex, she said she needed to see a little more of him before she could get a good enough feel.

* * *

It was the last day of the month. Between all the end of month reports and Dave out sick, I was running myself ragged. I'd dropped off Grandma Mazur that morning for her doctor's appointment on my way to work, giving her my numbers for when I needed to pick her up. She still wouldn't go into detail about what the appointment was for. The less she wanted to talk about it the more concerned I got. I noticed her using the same defense mechanisms I'd used when I didn't want to talk about something. Walking away, acting like she hadn't heard me and turning up the TV.

I'd been on a conference call and had my 'do not disturb' sign on my closed door when Jessica, Alex's assistant, emailed me: _High Importance-Alex needs to see you ASAP._ I'd told Jessica about Grandma's situation before I got on my call and told her to interrupt me if she heard from Grandma Mazur. Other than that, I wouldn't be available. As soon as I saw the email, my heart started to beat out of my chest. I felt my heart beat in my ears it was so hard. I wound down my call as fast as I could and practically ran to Jessica's office. Her office was set up much like Connie's at the bail bonds office—her desk was in front of Alex's door.

Seeing my frantic expression, Jessica asked, "What's wrong?"

"What do you mean what's wrong? Did Grandma call?" I asked as if she was stupid.

"No, I would have told you. I said Alex needed to see you," she said with her usual attitude towards me.

"Oh, thank God."

Finally my heartbeat started to slow down to an almost normal pace—that is until Jessica knocked on Alex's door. I was close enough to hear muffled conversation. My heart was back to the million beats per minute of moments ago, and I felt nervous beads of sweat beginning at my arms and feet along with unmentionable parts in-between. There was definitely a man in Alex's office. His voice was deeper, and his timbre soothed my soul. There was only one person I'd ever known that could make me feel like that just by hearing his voice.

It couldn't be.


	5. Chapter 5

Thank you to everyone reading and reviewing. You are great!

Carol, Julie. I have said thank you a million times, I could thesaurus another way to say it because I can't think of anything better at this moment, but I won't, I'm too tired, sorry, LOL. Giant internet hugs to you for taking the time out of your lives to lend me your patience, ideas, understanding, help, encouragement and everything in-between. It means A TON; otherwise I would have given up before I started. Especially this time around. Thank you for every _tiny_ bit of input. If you didn't know I have betas in the**_ universe._ **Seriously, no joke. LOVE THEM.

Okay, on with the story. Hope you enjoy, if not, truly sorry.

OH! P.S. Just a little reminder—if you haven't already… go check out BlackhawkCarol and Jmts2012's stories (I'm sure you have, but if you haven't I'm just sayin')!

* * *

**Chapter 5, Month 3**

I slowly stepped inside the doorway and immediately my eyes met his.

"Cup—Cupcake?" The not so mystery voice stammered.

With that one word—the word I hadn't heard in over four agonizingly long months, I'm positive I stopped breathing.

My heart was still racing in my chest, and I finally drew in air. It felt like I was on the verge of passing out.

"Joe?" I said at the same time Alex said, "You two know each other?"

Joe cleared his throat, "Um, yes, we—"

I cut Joe off, unsure of what he was going to say. My eyes darted back and forth between the equally surprised eyes of both Joe and Alex. "We—uh—we've worked together in the past."

A flash of hurt ran through Joe's handsome brown eyes before his serious cop face came into play. "Yeah, we've worked together," he confirmed dryly.

"Oh. Well—that's good. That should make this a little easier," Alex said stiffly. "Please, Stephanie, take a seat." He gave me a questioning look while motioning to the chair beside Joe.

Making my way over to the chair, I felt it all—apprehension, excitement, dread, curiosity, happiness—you name it. And I felt it all because of the man sitting next to me.

The door finally clicked behind me, and I couldn't prevent a little groan from escaping. I knew I'd have some explaining to do to Alex after this meeting. On top of that, Jessica had witnessed the entire exchange thus far. You'd have to be a fool not to see and feel the tension in the room and my initial apprehension. Within minutes, gossip would be flowing almost at Burg speed and with the same accuracy, or I guess more appropriately _inaccuracy_.

"I thought I was meeting with Marisa Chance?" Joe said while rapidly searching through his files and almost losing all his papers in the process. He was trying his best to not look unnerved but was failing miserably.

"Stephanie here has taken over for Marisa while she is on extended maternity leave. Miss Plum will be your contact."

Joe took a moment and looked back and forth between Alex and me. His eyes narrowed slightly, and he asked, "Your name's Alex, right?" He looked directly at Alex, and I knew recognition was setting in from the night he and I'd shared a dance _after_ Alex had danced with me. I could only hope he didn't think I'd gotten the job by sleeping with Alex.

To save face, I put away any thoughts along those lines. Before Alex had a chance to answer Joe's question, I said, "Marisa and I met up a few months ago. We worked together previously at E.E. Martin, and when she told me about her plans to take time off and the need for a fill in, I took it."

"Lingerie?" Joe questioned with a sly grin. "What a small world, Miss Plum."

"No," I answered. His smirk disappeared, but it came back, perhaps a bit bigger and his eyes definitely glittered as soon as I said, "Shoes actually." I paused, not wanting the opportunity to get away from me before I asked, "Aren't you living in New York now?"

As soon as Joe was set to answer, Alex cleared his throat, probably catching on that there was a little more to our simple exchange than friendly conversation.

"So, _Detective_—I would appreciate it if we could get down to business so that Stephanie can get back to her duties," Alex said in a gruff tone.

Joe looked over at me with raised eyebrows as if asking 'what's his problem'. I sighed and shrugged my shoulders. I couldn't explain Alex's attitude, although I had a good idea why he was acting like he was. Still there was no need to let Joe in on why Alex would have the right to act in such a way.

"Okay, Mr. _MacLaine_," Joe replied in a sarcastic manner, no doubt remembering our exchange the night of the dance.

"As I've said before—_Alex_, please," Alex said primly.

I was used to Morelli's character and couldn't blame him for pushing back at Alex, yet I could see this little pissing match was rapidly escalating. It needed to end—fast.

"What_ is_ going on?" I wondered, looking at Joe. "You're supposed to be in New York."

Joe shook his head. "Nope. New York, Pennsylvania and New Jersey are using a grant to work together to _try_ and bring down a ring of cargo thieves. It started at the docks, and now they're moving further into the city and taking directly from the trucks. I'm the lead on the task force."

"I'm taking it that the Michael Kors missing boxes wasn't just an oversight somewhere then?"

"Not necessarily, but we _are_ keeping track of every shipment that's reported missing items." Joe was in full-on cop mode. And once again with him in front of me, I had a million questions and no time or space with Alex around to ask.

"You've been homicide for the last couple of years. Why'd you go back to vice?"

"I needed a break from staring at dead bodies all day. The grant came up, and I asked for a temporary transfer."

"You were looking pretty ragged last time I saw you," I pointed out. It sounded harsh, but it was true.

"Yeah—well, when you have to do something you don't necessarily want it gets you into a ragged state," Joe replied a tad snidely while looking directly into my eyes.

Could it be I'd heard a twinge of regret in his statement? I wouldn't allow myself to hope. I also couldn't help but wonder if he was talking about being a homicide detective or, more likely, about our break up. That was the last time I'd really seen him. When I'd spotted him with that sleazy redhead I hadn't allowed myself a good enough look at his face. And when we'd danced, the lights had been pretty low. All I really remembered was the feeling of him being so close. Truth be told—no matter how ragged he looked he was still disgustingly handsome.

Alex cleared his throat to remind us yet again he was in the room and clearly annoyed by our banter. I looked over at Alex and gave him a glare he gladly returned. I couldn't help it—Joe was_ here_ talking to _me,_ and I didn't want it end.

Resigning himself back to business, Joe continued, "This whole operation is pretty complex. I've been working on it since—" He stopped himself, rethinking what he was about to say. "Since the last time we spoke. We haven't gotten as much information together as we would like, but I've just started on working on a hunch."

"And this hunch is?" I asked, trying my best to be patient.

"That there's someone on the inside. Originally I just came in to feel out Marisa and see if I could get a read on anything, but now that you're here, I know it's obviously not the purchaser that's passing along the information."

"Are you sure?" I asked, perhaps a bit flirtatiously, and gave him a smile.

"I guess I could check your closet, but from the shipping manifest, I don't think the shoes taken are your type," Joe replied with the sexy Morelli smile that made my heart pitter-patter.

"Are you done, detective?" Once again, Alex had interjected and ruined the moment.

Joe shot Alex his best Burg glare, probably as frustrated with the continuous interruptions as I was. "Almost."

He turned and looked at me again. "I need you to keep your eyes and ears open. I could be completely wrong about someone being on the inside, but I have a feeling I'm not, and am going with it." He smiled and shook his head.

"What?" I said, lifting an eyebrow.

"I don't know if I should be happy or scared I'm involving you in this," he said as stood to take his leave.

After giving him a thorough eye roll and sticking my tongue out, I got up as well to stop his progress out the door.

"Um, how do I get a hold of you?" I asked.

Joe looked at me with question in his eyes.

"You know—if I hear something," I clarified with a bit of attitude, not sure the reason behind his hesitation. It was a logical question. What was there to hesitate about?

Joe wavered for a second more, and then took a business card out of his wallet and handed it over.

As soon as he left for the lobby, Alex put his hand on my shoulder. "Can I talk to you for a minute?"

"Sure," I said. I knew I couldn't hide from this conversation, although I would really have rather not had it at work of all places.

I made my way into Alex's office and took a seat across from his desk, thinking that's where he would seat himself. Instead, he came and sat in the chair next to me. This was only my second time being in Alex's office. The first time had been just moments ago with Joe.

Instead of starting off the conversation, as I could tell Alex wanted me to, I scanned the office and took my first real look at it. He had the same light charcoal industrial carpet that went throughout the building, but instead of white walls like the rest of the offices, he had what I'd describe as a light pumpkin color. Briefly, I wondered if he'd chosen the color. It matched nothing in the office and just seemed like an odd color.

His desk was a light honey color, with an executive chair. Guest chairs were the same color as his desk, with upholstered seats in a circular red and white pattern. The only decorative items were a few small-framed paintings that looked like they'd come out of a standard office-painting catalog. Other than his name on the door and a calendar, there wasn't anything of significance that would show this office was Alex's.

Taking me out of the critique of his office, he began, "That was the Joe you were calling out for in your dream, wasn't it?" Jealously was clearly written in his ridged stance, and his question confirmed to me why he'd acted the way he had in the meeting.

"Yeah," I said simply, feeling a pang of guilt.

He got up and took a few steps away, turning his body to look away from me.

"Do we really have to do this here?" I asked. "I need to get my work done so I can go pick up my Grandma. I need to leave as soon as possible."

He waited a few minutes before turning around. His face was hard, and I tried my best not to wince under his gaze. Finally he let out a deep breath, and his face softened, "No. No, we shouldn't. When does your grandmother leave?"

"My parents are coming tomorrow." I was so thankful I could put off this conversation just a little longer. It would buy me time to sort through everything just a little more.

"Okay, dinner tomorrow night? I'll pick you up at seven?"

I nodded my agreement and left the room to head to my desk and finish the rest of my work for the day.

Leaving work to pick up Grandma Mazur, I couldn't stop my brain from working overtime once again. I used to hate digging deep and thinking about anything deeper than what I'd have for dinner or what I'd wear to work, but now thinking was my new hobby.

I knew deep down I'd been missing Joe, but I hadn't realized _how much_. Seeing him today had brought it all to the forefront. I missed his touch, his support, his laugh, his smell, his voice, his warmth—hell I even missed him being upset with me. I missed _every single bit_ of life with Joe Morelli. I hadn't wanted to admit it, but sitting next to the man who'd defined so many moments of my life mad me realize how empty I'd been feeling.

I wanted more than anything for that feeling to go away.

I'd been working steadily within myself to fix all that I thought was wrong in my life and me. The only problem was I hadn't been able to bring myself to truly confront anything having to do with Joe. I'd promised myself if I ever had the chance to tell him how I felt or answer any questions I'd be totally honest. But how could I talk to him about any of it if_ I_ couldn't deal with it?

Either way I knew I had to, but first I had to meet with Alex. I'd thought I could eventually move on without Joe in my life, but today it'd become blatantly clear I couldn't—no—I wouldn't be able to—ever. I just had to find a way to come to terms with _that_ and move on with my life.

* * *

When I'd picked up Grandma Mazur the night before, her normally pale skin had been more transparent looking, and her already slack skin had been even thinner. I'd tried talking to her but had gotten nowhere. She'd insisted she needed to go to bed as soon as we'd arrived home. I'd then called her doctor to see if I could get information from her, but she'd sited doctor/patient confidentiality. I'd been beyond frustrated. Why would physical therapy have made her look and feel that way?

My parents had come to pick her up around Noon since there was an early viewing she'd wanted to attend that evening. I think even my father missed having the usual Grandma around, seeing as he'd encouraged any of her regular habits. I'd made a note to myself to call my mother and see what she knew. Something told me she knew more than she'd let on—even to my dad.

I'd just finished giving Rex a few treats when the doorbell rang. I hadn't changed out of my work clothes or freshened up my makeup. I just wanted to get this conversation over with and move on with my relationship with Alex.

I opened the door and thanked God he hadn't brought me flowers. Instead, in his hands, he held a beautifully wrapped wardrobe box.

I motioned him into the house, and he passed the gift to me. "Here open this."

I tried to hide my excitement. I loved gifts. Who didn't love getting a gift—especially a gift for no reason! I almost felt bad wanting to rip apart the metallic, red paper with red and silver ribbons it—not bad enough to not do it though. Inside the box was a steely blue, tea-length, satin dress. It was gorgeous. As I was examining it, Alex produced a pair of cream-colored, suede pumps he'd been hiding.

"I thought these would go perfectly with the dress tonight," Alex said almost bashfully.

"You want me to change?" I asked confusedly.

"Please, I couldn't resist buying this for you when I saw it," he said, pointing to the dress. "And it would fit in perfectly for where we're going."

I was still in my work clothes; it wasn't like I looked like a slob. _Jeez, not another stupid, fancy restaurant._

"Can I save it for another time? I really don't feel like changing right now." Which was true. I'd just worked all day, and I was still on a bit of an emotional rollercoaster from seeing Joe and the mystery surrounding Grandma. It had taken everything in me to keep my concentration on work after my meeting with Joe yesterday. My thoughts had gone back and forth between how good he'd looked and how great he'd smelled to the way he'd moved and talked.

And how he didn't want me.

"No, I'd like it if you wore it tonight. Like I said, it will be perfect for our date. Please, Stephanie?"

With a huff, I gave him a look as if to say 'and who do you think you are?' But the fact remained it _was_ a really pretty dress and heels.

"Fine. Where are we going?" I asked, as we made our way into the kitchen. He kissed my lips in greeting as he walked by me.

"Moshulu. Our reservations are for eight."

_Great. Another place you have to have reservations to get into_.

"Moshulu? Isn't that the old boat restaurant?"

"Yes. Go change. I'll wait down here for you."

I went upstairs and took my time changing and freshening up my makeup. Why were we going to another fancy place to eat? Hadn't I made it pretty clear I didn't like expensive, snobby places to eat?

No matter which relationship I'd been in I'd always had a war raging on in my head, and this one was no different. With Dickie it'd been 'am I doing this for myself or my family'? With Joe the war had been 'do I commit completely and risk getting hurt a million times worse than with Dickie'? With Ranger—well, Ranger had been more of an escape than anything else, a place for me to run when my internal war about Joe had gotten to be too much.

Now with Alex the war was 'do I continue this relationship period'. There were definitely a few traits he had that annoyed the crud out of me, like being on the domineering side. I associated them with him being a boss. Dickie had acted the same way at times. After all, Alex couldn't have gone so high up the corporate ladder without having leadership qualities. He did have a great personality though, and, most importantly, he made me laugh, and I had really needed that in my life.

Maybe I wouldn't run this time. Maybe I'd prove to myself I could have a successful relationship. Every great relationship took compromise, right? Maybe I could stop being so stubborn and give a little more.

I made my way downstairs and once again, as I locked up, Alex had the passenger door ready and waiting. The drive to the restaurant was made in absolute silence. Our hands met over the center counsel, fingers intertwined. The drive gave me time to process my thoughts, and probably Alex was bracing himself for what was to come.

I'd driven by the restaurant a few times since I'd moved to Philly. It was definitely unique. It was literally a cargo ship from the early 1900's that had been through many wars and journeys. At night, it was lit by large, twinkle lights going around the hull and up bars where the sails would be. We ordered our food, and that's when the interrogation started.

"I've tried being patient, but seeing you with him yesterday tells me you aren't over _Joe_."

I took a sip of my wine, taking my time to think about what I wanted to say. I'd rather have been drinking a coke, but Alex had ordered the most expensive wine on the menu. I didn't want it to go to waste. Personally, if I had to drink wine, I'd have preferred boxed wine to a $325 bottle.

"Yes and no. And why do you have to say his name like _that_?" I rolled my eyes, immediately on the defensive. No matter where we were, I was still me, and my attitude would come through.

"Is he over _you_?" Alex wondered, sidestepping my question. "Your relationships are the only part of you I haven't heard about, and that whole bounty hunter thing. I know about your family. I've even_ met_ some of your family. I know who your best friends are and some of your small goals, but that's it."

"What more do you want to know? Bounty hunting wasn't just a _thing, _by the way." My attitude was coming through. "It was my _life_ for a couple of years." _And more or less the source of the majority of my problems_.

"Anything," he said, "Like why aren't you over Joe? You've been in Pennsylvania for how long? From the way it sounded, you two hadn't even talked to each other in quite some time." He looked exasperated.

"Why am I not over him? I don't know!" I said through clenched teeth. I wonder if he knew the way I'd handle this conversation. Was that why we were at a stupid restaurant that everyone spoke in hushed tones? Maybe I wasn't over Joe because he was freaking perfect—a perfect jerk, a perfect lover, a perfect fighter and a perfect friend. Again I had to ask myself why I'd realized it all too freaking late!

"Okay, calm down," he demanded while keeping his voice low, yet making sure he left no room for misunderstanding.

"All my relationships were complicated. My first husband cheated on me any chance he had, which were many. That's just the beginning."

"Okay, so what else are you hiding?" Alex accused.

I bit my lip. It was now or never. I'd promised myself to try and start being more honest with myself and the people around me. It was time to forge ahead.

"I've had two relationships since then." _Was that all I could get out?_ Man, that was just the very tip of the Ranger and Joe triangle.

Alex broke into my internal dialog. "So what—you're not over one of the men? Or is it _both_ men? Is that why you didn't want to tell me? I don't understand what the big deal is. Why haven't you wanted to tell me any of this, Steph? We all have pasts."

"You don't," I burst out, "You've had _one_ serious girlfriend your _entire_ life. You want to know what happened? Fine."

I took a deep breath and plunged ahead, "Joe and I've known each other since we were kids— little kids. He was my _first,_ and for a long time I thought he'd be my _last_. Then I met Ranger. When I'd get myself in too deep while bounty hunting, he'd come to my rescue when Joe wasn't available. Ranger and I developed a relationship. Meanwhile, Joe's and my relationship was deteriorating."

I closed my eyes a moment to regain the composure I was losing. "We were so on and off that neither of us could keep track of where we were with one another, and somehow I ended up seeing both men at the same time."

I paused again, taking another breath and another sip of my wine. _Where was the waiter to fill my water?_ "I kept it up for a while—maybe too long—until I couldn't stand myself anymore, and broke it off with Ranger. I'd finally realized Joe was the only one I wanted to be with, but by the time I finally realized what I wanted, Joe had decided what he wanted. And what he _didn't_ want was me."

It'd taken almost all my strength to try to keep back the tears and emotion that still threatened every time I talked or thought about the last few months leading up to my departure from home.

Alex took a moment to absorb all I'd given him. "So you've always been shitty with communication? It isn't just with me?"

"No, Alex!" I blurted out louder than I should have. I could feel the stares from other patrons.

Alex was trying to smile to make the conversation look like anything but what it was.

"Well, yes, I do suck at communication," I admitted, lowering my voice to avoid the shocked stares from around the terrace. "But I've been trying to work on it. It's just hard."

"Well," Alex paused, mulling over what was to come next. He let out a held breath. "Communication isn't unfixable. I'm willing to work on this if you are."

I sat there a moment, taking in his words. _Were they encouraging words?_

"This—meaning what exactly?" I knew, but I wanted clarification.

"_Our_ _relationship_," Alex said as if I were five years old. Maybe I deserved the attitude; I had known what he was going to say, but I still hadn't wanted to hear it.

Alex reached across the table and took my hand. His face was soft, and when he looked like this and his voice was low and caring, I found myself liking him the most. His hand on mine acted as a soothing method, and it was. It would be so easy to get lost in him if I truly let myself and didn't hold back.

"I know I can be pushy sometimes," he said. "I can't seem to get enough of you, and I don't want to lose you." He paused and caressed my hand some more. "I want to give us a serious try, but I want to make sure you do too."

I looked at him. He was being so sincere. I was afraid and nervous about what he was asking of me, but that was nothing new. I hadn't given a relationship a real, God's honest try in years. I felt the need to prove to myself I could live a normal life. I had a normal job that I liked—so long as I didn't think about how monotonous it was. I also had a normal home I truly loved and that no one had broken into. Could I have a normal relationship to go with the rest? Someone who obviously cared about me and who I found myself caring for as well? I opened my mouth to speak, "I want—"

Right then my phone decided to ring, and, with the quiet din of the restaurant, the ringing seemed ridiculously loud. I pulled my hand from Alex's light grasp and hurriedly picked up my phone.

"Val?"

"Steph—" She let out, pausing to let an after-crying hiccup escape. I sat up straighter instantly.

"What's wrong?" All the while I crossed my fingers and said a silent prayer to anyone that would listen this wasn't the call I'd been dreading would come since Grandma Mazur's health had been declining.

Val still hadn't said anything, further confirming in my mind I no longer had my crazy grandmother in my world.

"Valerie, talk to me. What is going on?" I asked, gritting my teeth and trying my best to keep _my_ composure and not scream like I wanted. I had to keep in mind where we were.

"I need—I need a place to stay for a few days." She paused. "P—please?"

I took a moment to absorb what she'd just said. "Wait—what?" I asked, my voice going into a higher pitch out of sheer shock. That was the last thing I'd expected her to say.

"I don't want to talk about it." Choking back a sob, she added, "Can you please let the girls and I stay with you for a little while?"

"Ye—Yeah." What else was I going to say? This was my sister for goodness sake. She and I may not see eye to eye on, well, anything, but I would always be there to help her out where I could.

I ended the call after giving her my address and having her promise not to drive until she was fully composed.

"Sorry about that," I said slightly guiltily to Alex.

"Who was that?"

"My sister, Valerie. I guess she and her daughters are going to stay with me for a while." I was still slightly dazed. _Saint Valerie needing my rescue_—_again_? What could have happened that she needed _me_?

"Daughters? How many does she have again?" Alex asked, while signing the check. I guess our relationship conversion was going to be put on hold.

"Three—Angie, Mary Alice and Lisa," I answered with a smile. I had seen all of them a few weeks ago and was pleasantly surprised to be missing them.

"Five of you in your little house?" Alex asked with a grimace.

"Yeah. There were four of us in the house I grew up in, and that house is even smaller." I didn't think it would be a big deal; at least I had two bathrooms.

"I couldn't imagine not being able to escape to the other side of the house at least." He shook his head, standing up and reaching out to take my hand.

We walked out of the restaurant hand in hand. On the drive to my place, we talked about my sister and nieces and what they were like. By the time we arrived at my front door I'd convinced myself under no circumstance would I run from this relationship. I deserved to be happy. Even if I couldn't have _exactly_ what I wanted, I could find happiness in a new relationship. Alex may not be Joe, but when it came to being alone and lonely or having what could be an easy, fun, but serious companionship—I'd choose the latter. And here was Alex to prevent me from being alone.

As he had every other time, Alex walked me to my door. He took my hand in his. "Thank you for opening up to me." I nodded, "You never answered my question though," he said. I tilted my head and gave him a quizzical look. "Are you ready to give this a real shot—open up and communicate?"

I felt myself hesitating. The fight or flight mechanism I'd used far too often kicked into high gear. Alex kept going, "This relationship could be good, you know? A chance not to make the same mistakes or have something different."

I sighed and bit my lip. "I know. I think I'm ready. You just have to promise me something."

Alex had a terrified look on his face, and I laughed. "You just have to promise to be patient with me."

"I can do that," he replied.

"You promise?" I asked, looking into his mesmerizing blue eyes.

He lowered his face so close to mine our lips were millimeters away from each other, and I felt the heat rise around us. "I promise, Stephanie," he vowed.

He finished by leaning in for a lingering kiss. His hands came up into my hair, pulling me closer to him. My hands came up onto his waist. His tongue sought entrance, and the kiss immediately deepened. There were definitely sparks between us—not fireworks, but maybe that would come later. We stood there, kissing like teenagers, until we both were out of breath.

"Thank you," I said, trying to keep my breath from coming out in little pants.

"You're welcome, honey." He brushed one more kiss across my lips before unlocking my door. Handing me my keys, he headed for home.

When the door was shut and locked behind me, I stood there—just absorbing all that had just happened and staring at nothing in particular. I jumped at the knock on my door. Every time the doorbell rang or there was a knock, I had to remind myself it was most likely someone I knew—not a killer or some sort of scary monster—or Joe.

Looking through the peephole, I saw it was Val and the girls, all looking like they could really use some ice cream and a smile.

I opened the door and immediately all four of them came rushing in. Val was in my arms, suddenly crying hysterically. When I realized what was happening, I awkwardly brought my arms up to pat her on the back.

"Thank you, Stephanie. I know this is really sudden," Val offered between sobs.

"Uh, it's okay." I waited for her to release her hold on me. "You want to talk about it?" I asked. We had made our way into the living room where all three girls were already on the couch, remote in hand and cartoons on the TV.

"No," she replied, "Maybe tomorrow. It's late, and I want to get at least Lisa to bed."

I nodded in understanding. Leave it to the Plum's to not want to share what was going on. For nosy people, we liked to keep our own personal turmoil pretty close to the vest.

It was going to be a long weekend.

Or week.

Or month.

Who knew how long they'd stay considering how long I'd lent them my apartment long ago? I stifled a groan as I brought the obscene amount of luggage up to the spare room. I'd just finished unfolding the futon and placing all my spare blankets and sheets on the bed when my cell rang. I shuffled down the stairs to answer it, hoping I would catch it before it got to voicemail.

"Alex?" I answered. "Is everything okay?" It was fast approaching midnight.

"Yeah, honey. I just wanted to hear your voice before I went to bed."

I giggled a little. That was one of the things I really liked about Alex. He would call just to say hello or that he missed me.

We ended up talking for quite some time while I got ready for bed, and Valerie got the girls down. She'd insisted she was used to doing the nightly routine and everything else on her own and didn't need me. But she also said she wanted details on Alex tomorrow. They were all thoroughly exhausted from whatever had happened at home and the late night trip to my house, so they got settled in fast. Lisa was excited to be sharing space with Rex. Angie had a backpack full of books, and Mary Alice was content I had Animal Planet on my cable package. Thankfully she no longer acted like a horse, but she was very much still into animals.

"You know, if it gets too chaotic over there, you're always welcome to stay with me," Alex offered as we wound down our conversation.

I sighed. We'd been dating for little over a month, and I knew not all of his needs were being fulfilled. Maybe that was why he was offering. I still knew I wasn't ready to move to the next phase of sharing a bed and what happened when you shared said bed. I thought it was slightly odd I hadn't given in yet, considering not long ago I'd had two lovers.

I told myself I'd had long established relationships with Joe and Ranger. Once Alex and I'd been together longer I'd feel more comfortable too—not for lack of attraction. Alex was definitely a sexy man, and the way he carried himself took it up a notch. If his kisses were any indicator, the wait would be much worth it in the end. Plus, look what had happened when we shared a couch? What if I had a worse nightmare?

"Thank you, Alex. But no, I'm going to stay here. I think my sister and I need to spend some quality time together," I replied. _Might as well_. She'd been living in Trenton for over a year, and other than the occasional family dinner, we hadn't spent much time together. Even if she did just stay with me briefly, I planned to take advantage of the time and spend what I could with her and my nieces.

"All right, but the offer still stands in case you change your mind," Alex said. "Goodnight, honey."

"Night, Alex."

* * *

The days progressed. Alex and I had a few dates at more low-key places, and I had dinner at his house several times where I was able to keep my eyes open the entire movie. Probably it was because as soon as the movie would start I'd soon find my mouth attached to Alex's. Our hands would explore too, but nothing further. I was ready to combust from wanting him all the time, but I kept my hormones in check with the top-of-the-line shower massager I'd bought when Mary Lou was in town. It was worth every penny spent when I used it for the intended purpose. Everything else was just an added bonus.

Valerie and the girls were still at my house, and it was really nice actually. We'd have a family dinner on the nights I didn't spend with Alex. Angie and Mary Alice were on summer break, so we didn't have to worry about school, and my finances were in such a good place I was able to tell Valerie not to worry about paying for anything. She'd been a stay-at-home mom for so long I didn't expect her to have money for rent or groceries.

While I was at work they'd explore the more kid-friendly parts of the city or stay at home and do crafts or just watch TV. I didn't care what they did, as long as they were happier than when they'd arrived. Val had finally come out and told me she was having issues with Albert. _As if I couldn't have guessed that_. She'd said she needed some time away from him. If and when she was ready to talk, I'd be there.

At work everything was the normal ho-hum of a regular office. I'd been so busy I hadn't really been able to leave my desk in order to 'keep my eyes and ears open'. That hadn't stopped me from taking Joe's business card out of my purse and staring at it or fondling it. Once I'd even sniffed it to see if it smelled like him, but no, it hadn't. It had smelled like regular old paper. Talk about disappointment. There were a few times when I'd picked up the phone and started dialing his number but had chickened out. I had no idea what I would say.

I was having an awful day, and nothing seemed to help my mood—not Alex's kisses, not Tastykakes, not doughnuts. Normally I'd find humor in something Dave would say throughout the day, but not today. _Nothing_ cheered me up.

But I knew what would.

More than any other day thus far, Joe's card was haunting me. I'd put it in my top drawer at work and found myself opening the drawer, taking a peek at the damn card and then slamming the drawer shut again. If I were honest with myself, I could admit I wouldn't need the card to call him. I'd looked at the damn thing so many times I'd memorized the main line.

Knowing I shouldn't, I finally picked up the phone and fully dialed his number and let it ring. The whole time I told myself I should hang up.

"Morelli," he answered. The sound of his voice was just what I needed; I felt the stress being released.

"Hello, is anyone there?" he asked.

"Yeah. Sorry—it's me, Joe," I said quietly, not wanting anyone to hear me when my brain finally connected to my mouth. I had no idea what to say after that. There was so much I wanted to get out, but knew I shouldn't.

"I'm sorry. Who is this? Phone's breaking up."

I made my voice a little louder. "It's me—Stephanie."

"Stephanie?" He paused. "Oh Stephanie—what's up?" He said when all _his_ brain cells connected. _How many Stephanie's did he know anyway?_

I was slightly irritated he'd acted like he didn't know whom I was. Perhaps he hadn't. We hadn't spoken on the phone for almost half a year. Maybe my voice changed—doubtful.

"Nothing," I replied. In my imaginary world, my imaginary conversation would not have gone like the reality one thus far, but I had no idea what to say.

"Okaaay," Joe said. "Have you got any information for me?"

"No, I haven't heard anything out yet."

I heard voices on the other end of the line, and I felt bad for interrupting his work. Some things never change. I hadn't taken into account he'd be working. _Why wouldn't he be_? He was _always_ working!

"Listen, I'm going into a meeting. Call me when you hear something."

"Okay," I said to the dial tone. That wasn't the mood booster I'd been looking for. I was looking at my phone ready to throw it across the room when it rang.

It was Marisa!

"Long time no see, stranger," I answered.

"It happens when you have a baby latched to a boob constantly," Marisa laughed.

"Sounds exciting. Anything else new besides Sophia being needy?" I joked.

"Yeah, the kids are on break, and I need a moment of peace. You want to do lunch next week?"

"Stupid question," I replied. "Of course. I need to see those baby thighs anyway."

"What was I thinking?" Marisa laughed again. "Wednesday—Jed's—be there."

"Hmmm, can you do Thursday? I have lunch with Alex on Wednesday."

"I guess," she said sarcastically. "We do have a whole lot to catch up on, so I'll call the sitter and change days."

"Thank you," I said in my sweetest voice.

After saying our goodbyes, my mood was much brighter. I hadn't been able to spend any real time with Marisa since right before Sophia had been born for obvious reasons, and I most definitely was looking forward to it.

For now, I just needed to get out of my office and get into the gossip game.


	6. Chapter 6

Thank you to everyone that is sticking around and reviewing, reading, favoring this story. This chapter was a long time in the making it seemed like, so I hope you enjoy it.

To my most awesome Beta's-You are wonderful. Thank you so much for your time and hard work that you've put into this with me. I know how hectic life can get and yet you both always find time to work through things, no matter how insignificant. I hope to be able to repay the favor one day!**  
**

I do not own anything, it is all JE's

* * *

**Chapter 6, Months 4 and 5**

It had been three weeks since the Kloughns had come to stay at my house. Admittedly, there were moments I wanted to do nothing more than rip my hair out because of all the whining and crying, but mostly I was thankful to have them all at the house.

The noise and constant clatter kept my thoughts at bay until I'd lay my head on my pillow at night. Usually, I'd be too exhausted to process any dark thoughts before I was asleep. Before I'd seen Joe again, I'd made progress and wasn't crying myself to sleep every night, but when he'd shown up unexpectedly, the long nights had become frequent again, if not worse. Between being homesick for the rest of my family, not having my best friend ready to meet me at any moment I needed her and still not having further contact with Joe, the deep loneliness I felt, would bring me into a fit of tears I'd stifle with my pillow.

One night I was curled into a ball in bed crying over my loss of Joe—of the friendship and the unique support system I'd had no idea was so vital to me. I was crying for the loss of tenderness in my life and the other half of me I'd realized was missing all too late.

No matter how much time I had spent with Alex, the moments just weren't the same. I tried hard to get the spark to completely ignite, but thoughts of Joe would sweep over me, and the tiny spark with Alex would fizzle. At one point it'd been there. I'd felt it, and I know Alex had felt it too. But after seeing Joe, even for that short amount of time, I think I'd realized there would never be anything like the energy we'd shared.

Now when Alex would kiss the tender spot by my ear, I felt nothing other than the sense of loss. With Ranger, his presence alone had turned me into mush. And Joe especially had _never _had a problem getting my engine running. There could be a look in his eyes or his playful tone, and I'd be an absolute goner in his arms.

I was swamped with guilt both from within me as well as the condemning comments from Alex about why our relationship hadn't escalated to a more sexual one yet. I knew why. As much as I wanted him to be, he could _never_ replace Joe and what I'd shared with him.

I was working on getting over that hump in the road.

I tried my hardest not to count days, but time had marched on to where it was right at the six month mark from when Joe had broken up with me. That particular workday had been long and stressful, and I came home to four extremely cranky ladies. It seemed like once one would stop crying another would start up. Is it possible for prepubescent girls to PMS? I was positive every one of us had it that night.

The entire day I'd again longed for Joe's voice to sooth me, but I wasn't going to make the mistake of calling him with nothing to say. If I closed my eyes long enough and tried _really_ hard, I could almost feel his arms wrapped around me, but the imaginary feeling was slowly getting less as the days drifted on. It terrified me I would never have that feeling again. A strong sense of dread would envelope my entire body when I would think about the redhead who probably had Joe's muscular arms wrapped around _her_.

I'd been crying from the moment I shut my bedroom door to get ready for bed. Wanting nothing more than to fall into a deep dark sleep, I found it was once again illusive that night.

Mary Alice climbed into bed with me. "Aunt Stephanie?"

Between the shaking I was doing from crying and the loud sobs I was producing, I hadn't heard her creep into my room or climb onto my bed. Startled, I sat up straight and tried to wipe away my tears and snot.

I wanted to scream. _Couldn't I be allowed a moment to just break down by myself?_ Seeing the tears in her eyes, I reigned in my anger and pulled her toward me.

"What's wrong Mary?"

"I-I miss Al-Albert," she sobbed out.

"Oh baby, I'm so sorry," I said, trying not to cry for her. "It'll be okay."

She shook her head. "No, it won't. Mommy said so. I just want to go home. I miss my friends and my animals." She started a new round of tears.

"I know, Mary. Trust me, I know how you're feeling."

And I did.

I one hundred percent knew what she was feeling. I started rubbing circles absentmindedly on her back, much like Joe used to do to me when we were on the couch or in bed. As soon as I realized what I was doing, I joined her in shedding new tears.

I couldn't imagine what was going through all of their minds. As an adult, I would be devastated if anything happened between my parents. Never mind having to move away without a choice from everything I'd known and loved. Thinking about all these innocent kids were going through—Angie and Mary Alice for a second time in their short life—brought me deeper into the pity party I was having.

I vowed no matter what happened in my life I would never let my future children go through something like this. I would protect them with everything in me.

_When did I start thinking about children belonging to me?_

Not too much later, Angie joined us on the bed. Her eyes were bloodshot and she was sniffling.

"I miss him too," Angie whisper cried.

Misery loves company, right? That night the three of us fell asleep crying and holding each other.

The following morning I felt like a Mack truck had hit me. My eyes were swollen and no amount of Visine would make my eyes look near clear. I slathered on endless amounts of makeup to try and make myself look less zombie-like for work.

Thank God the week was almost over.

I'd just finished pouring a cup of coffee when Valerie made her way into the kitchen looking just as bad as I did. Seeing her, I slammed the decanter back into the coffee maker.

"You need to tell me what the fuck is going on!" I hissed at her.

Valerie rubbed her eyes. "Not now, Steph. I just woke up from a horrible night."

Turning back to my cup, I poured cream in and shook my head. _As if I couldn't relate?_ Last night was probably the worst night I'd had since moving to Philly and that was saying something. I cursed my upbringing. Freaking Plums! Never wanting to talk about or confront anything!

"The weather isn't supposed to be too hot Saturday. Wanna go to the zoo?" she asked, effectively changing the subject.

"I have a date with Alex. Can we do another day?" I asked, trying my best to hold my anger in.

_Count to ten, Stephanie._

"Invite him. I know you wanted to go, and I think we should really get out of the house."

She was right. Even though Alex had been trying his best to avoid any more time with my family in my little house than absolutely necessary, he was going to have to suck it up. I wanted to go to the zoo, and I wasn't about to miss out.

* * *

"Mom, look at the giraffes!" Angie exclaimed, tugging on Val's right arm and trying to pull her closer to the exhibit.

"Mooooooooom, when are we going on the pony rides? You prrooomised." whined Mary Alice, tugging on Val's other arm.

Both her arms were free because I was busy pushing little Lisa in her stroller. The four of us were walking through the Philadelphia Zoo. We got an early start in the morning in order to avoid the heat that was sure to tire us by afternoon. After a hearty breakfast of sausage, eggs and hash browns al la Aunt Stephanie, we headed out to the zoo.

I think I may have been more excited than the kids. The zoo was huge with thousands of animals, and it had rides. Since I hadn't been to a zoo since I was a young kid, it was going to be like a whole new experience. As soon as we were at the ticket counter, I bought us all the Family Plus membership. The membership included free unlimited admission plus free rides on the camels and horses and bird feedings. There was a giant carousal and tree house. It cost a bundle, and I was glad to able to more than afford it. I knew it would be well worth it, not only for me, but to see the girls have smiling faces again.

Alex had declined the invitation to the zoo, stating his cousin was in town and they would hang out. If they weren't bar hopping by the time night fell, he'd give me a call. That was fine by me. I knew I'd be too tired after walking miles around the zoo in the sun to do anything that evening.

We finally arrived at the last stop for the day. The much awaited draft horse and pony rides. Lisa had fallen asleep not long after a nasty tantrum she'd thrown due to her missed nap-time and was out cold. Angie and Mary Alice were waiting in line for their turn as patiently as they could. Angie's eagerness to be a part of something her sister loved surprised me. It was one of many ways they were completely different than Val and I'd been growing up.

I looked over at Valerie. She was watching her little ladies in line, smiling and waving at both of them. She really was a good mother. Not perfect, but then nobody ever was. She turned her attention toward me.

"What's that look for?" she asked.

"Since I've had two new bed buddies the last few nights, I think I absolutely have the right to know what's going on with you and Albert." I told her.

Immediately jumping on the defensive, she threw her arms in the air and huffed, "You want us to leave? Fine, Steph. I'll go stay with mom and dad again. I thought you wanted us here."

Shaking my head, I opened my mouth to respond but quickly closed it again. If I wanted to know what was going on, I knew I had to keep _my_ attitude in check.

"That isn't what I'm saying, Val, and you know it." Whew, that took more control than I realized. "All I really want to know is why Mary Alice thinks nothing will ever be okay again."

Valerie looked down at her hands for a moment and then lifted her gaze to meet mine. Her eyes were cloudy and moist. I put my hand on her shoulder as a consoling gesture. I was getting good at it since the nights I'd spent with her daughters.

"We're broke, Stephanie," she started. I tried to hold my grimace, but she caught it. "Yeah, it's bad." She shook her head. "I didn't know we were so far behind on so many bills. I got mad one day having to take care of _everything_, so I threw all our bills at Albert and told him to take care of them for now on." Valerie paused, gulping back a sob. "But he didn't. He doesn't manage money well."

"It's not the end of the world, Val," I tried to reassure her, but it looked like it was no use. "Did he not pay them on purpose?"

Valerie was slowly losing the control over her tears. I could relate. "No, he forgot, and by the time I realized what was going on we were so far behind, I panicked. It's my fault, Steph. I should have been paying more attention. It's not like Albert brings in loads of money, and he's never managed his own before."

She removed a tissue from her purse to wipe her eyes. "I was the housewife. It's expected I take care of the kids, the food, the house and the bills. I just got so frustrated on that day and passed along one of my responsibilities. On top of that, we'd been arguing over him closing his own firm and joining a partnership. I didn't want him to, because I was so proud of him doing it on his own—even if we had to struggle. I failed again."

I used the move that seemed to help Mary Alice and Angie and took her in my arms.

"You didn't fail. This can all be fixed and will be okay."

"No, it can't. He spent the bill money on other stuff. It was stuff we needed, but he didn't budget it right. Our power almost got shut off!"

"Yes, it can," I said adamantly, then asked, "Do you love him?"

When she nodded, I pressed on, "Then you have to start there and try. You can't run and expect everything to fix itself. It's not like he's doing what Steve did to you. He forgot to pay some bills. He wasn't taking all the money away," I said, remembering what her first husband had done to her.

Val whipped her head up and broke from the embrace. Taking a few steps back, she said, "You—_Stephanie Plum_—telling _me_ not to run? Not to repeat what I did from my _last_ failed marriage?"

"Yeah, I know—shocker—but you learn from experience," I shrugged.

"Really? What the hell are _you_ doing then?" she asked.

_Huh_ was my lovely response since I wasn't entirely keeping with her train of thought.

"_You_ ran. That's why you're here."

"No, I got a job is what I did." As usual, I was saying it as much to convince myself as to convince Valerie.

"You mean to tell me if Joe and you were still together you'd still be living here?" She asked with her eyebrows all the way into her forehead.

"You know what Valerie? It doesn't matter, does it?"

"What do you mean it doesn't matter? Of course it does! You don't think I see all this change you're trying to make? Trying to keep up with Alex—changing for him—in order to _replace_ Joe?"

I opened my mouth to deny what she was saying when she shook her head again and pointed a finger at me. "Since when do you cook and clean—huh? How about going to the gym every time Alex tells you to? I have _never _known you to bow down to a man, Stephanie."

Okay, that was it. I was pissed. She was just trying to take the heat off of herself and put it onto me with these false accusations. We'd grown closer since she'd started living with me, but she was overstepping her bounds.

"You don't know what you're talking about. Okay?" My arms were waving, spit coming out of my mouth. I was almost rabid. "You have _no_ idea what is going on. I changed for _me_. I wanted to cook _for me_. I want a clean home _for me_, and I eat too many Tastykakes and doughnuts. Sue me." Good thing I was angry because that's the only way I could sound near convincing.

"Did I hit a nerve, little sister?" Valerie said in a condescending tone.

Had she hit a nerve? _Of course_ she had, and because of it, I was getting ready to scream at her and tell her some more about how very wrong she was.

I couldn't however, because two bouncy girls started coming our way.

"Mom! That was SO. MUCH. FUN!" exclaimed Mary Alice.

"Yeah, I think we should get a pony," said Angie, "Aunt Stephanie has a back yard!"

Valerie turned to me, "This conversation is not over."

She grabbed both girls into a hug as they all walked off toward the car. For the first ten minutes, the girls were trying to convince Valerie to buy them a pony. Finally they lost steam and fell asleep. Valerie and I refused to talk to each other for the entire ride. _Good!_ It gave me time to roll over everything we'd said in my mind.

Was it that obvious I'd been making changes for Alex? Originally I'd wanted to make changes for me. The outside changes I'd originally intended on making were small—a meal here or there just to say I could cook. Cleaning was so I wouldn't have clothes all over the place and to be a little more organized.

None of it had been good enough for Alex. He'd signed me up for cooking classes so I could make a full five-course meal. And when he'd come over to the house, I'd spot him checking for dust. As for working out—in the past I'd been able to muster up enough energy to do twenty minutes tops _walking_ on the treadmill. Now I found myself signed up for every class. Yuck.

* * *

"Pretty please, with a cherry on top?"

"Oh come on. You know what a sweet tooth I have. I need way more than a cherry on top!"

"Oh yeah? Rumor has it your sweet tooth is why you're being told to go to the gym all the time. So how about I add M&M's, extra whipped cream, fudge, pea—"

"Who told you that?"

I was finding out I wasn't just gossip fodder in the Burg. Everything I did here in Philly turned to gossip as well. It wasn't any stretch of the imagination Marisa was still talking to people at the office. Even Sue had been over to her house once when I'd visited.

I had a feeling I knew where this information was coming from—Jessica, Alex's assistant. She had full access to his calendar, and Alex enjoyed tracking when my aerobics classes were—classes he'd signed me up for and happened to be at the gym when they were scheduled. I skipped a class once and I got a call asking if there was some sort of emergency for having missed Zumba.

No! _I was freaking exhausted!_

Marisa laughed. "No, never mind. Please will you go to brunch with me? Mark is out of town, and I don't want to waste a good babysitter. I have a freaking Groupon! Please, Stephanie," she pleaded.

"Fine," I relented, "I'll pick you up in an hour."

I kept my word and picked Marisa up at the appointed time. I made sure to get there a few minutes early in order to say hello to her older kids and squeeze little Sophia. The smell of baby was too delicious. Other than when she cried, her baby powder and overall baby smell was a calming agent to me.

_When exactly had that happened?_

"If I didn't love the smell of my own baby so much, I'd think you were a weirdo. Try not to do that in public," Marisa laughed as soon as we got in the car.

"Yeah, watch out. You'll be watching the evening news, and next thing you know, they'll have my picture plastered on the screen, 'Baby Sniffer on the Loose'," I quipped. "Where are we going with this _Groupon_ of yours?"

"Distrito. I'll buy you dessert too."

On our way to the restaurant as well as after we'd been seated, Marisa caught me up with all of Sophia's firsts.

"It doesn't matter how many kids you have," she gushed. "Their first smile and laugh or when they roll over is all just as exciting as the last."

I loved hearing about baby Sophia. I always looked forward to updates on what she was doing, and any chance I had, I wanted to see her. _Darn that precious baby girl! _Ever since she'd been born I swear I'd heard a little 'tick, tock' in the back of my head. I'd felt a slight yearning when Lisa was born, but not like this. How often I'd find myself thinking about babies was starting to scare the crap out of me!

"I always do this to you!" Marisa said, and I raised my eyebrows at her. "Talk about me and mine. Now what's new with you? Any word from _your_ Joe?" She swooned.

I'd spent time with Marisa since I'd seen Joe, so I didn't have to fill her in about the surprise meeting. But I did let her in on something I hadn't shared with anyone up to this point.

"Let's clarify this _one more time_. He's not mine," I sighed dramatically. "I want him to stop by again though," I admitted.

"Why? Hasn't his chance meeting complicated your life enough already?"

"I'm not even sure I understand it. I don't know what I'd say," I tried to explain, "When I was with him, I knew I loved him. There was no question."

I scrubbed my hands over my face, frustrated with myself. "But being apart from him showed me I need _something_ from him. Even if it's friendship, I think I can deal with that."

I think I could settle with just friendship with Joe. _I hoped. _It would be hard, but if that's all I could have I'd find a way to make it okay. But first, I needed to find a legitimate reason to call him, and work hadn't provided that yet.

"Is Alex going to be okay with having your ex as a friend? Are you sure you would really be okay with _just_ friendship?" she asked with the most sincere tone.

I shook my head. I already knew Alex would _not_ be okay with a friendship between Joe and me. He already seemed to be on 'High Joe Alert' since our meeting over a month ago.

_Have you called Joe? I want to see your phone._

_Have you seen Joe? I can put a GPS on your car just like that dumb Army guy._

_Has he called you?_

_No emails? _

_Are you sure? _

_You aren't lying, are you? I know how good you used to be at that. I'll see through you._

_Why do you still have this box of stuff. There's nothing but crap from Joe in here. Get rid of it._

I was so tired of his questions every time I saw him.

When he'd first started asking questions about Joe, I'd stuck up for myself. Putting my foot down, I'd claimed I was my own woman—because I was. With each fight though, his voice would become louder and louder and his eyes colder with each instance. If I thought my fights with Joe had been bad, I was in no way prepared for a fight with someone who had a _real_ temper and what I was beginning to understand was a lack of control.

After every fight, I'd a mental back and forth. One side of my brain told me to run while the other refused to back out of the relationship—remembering the promise to myself. How did I know when the right time was to end it? My heart and head screamed _now, _but maybe I could change him—show him what a good relationship could be and that there was no reason to fight. I could even recognize the fact I was slowly losing myself, but my brain kept thinking maybe it was for the better?

"Why are you giving up?" asked Marisa, the Philly version of Mary Lou kicking in.

"I'm not giving up anything." My hackles were rising slowly.

"Yes, actually you are," she said in an authoritative tone. I half expected her to be pointing a finger at my face, shaking it. Good thing she had a fork and knife in hand. "You're giving up on any more of a possibility of a relationship with Joe."

"Joe made his intentions quite clear, Marisa." Part of me wanted to laugh at her tone, but I was going so far into defensive zone it'd be a wonder if anyone would be able to find me. Plus she had a point, and I hated it. "I'm not giving up so much as giving in. I thought you liked Alex. Why are you pushing for me to go after Joe?"

"You're right. He did tell you what he wanted. Did you ever think he was forced into a corner to let you go? Maybe he did it because he knew he had to come here?" She stopped to take a bite of her meal. "The way you look when you talk about Joe is why I keep asking the same questions. I've seen you and Alex together, and it's not the same. He's a good guy, and if you're not giving one hundred percent of yourself, then both of you deserve better."

"Of course I've thought of that! But the pain in his eyes—there's so much more to it. He wouldn't have made it so final if it was just a job taking him away. This wasn't the only time he's had to leave, and we've stayed together in the past. This time was the final burial to our relationship." I shuddered, recounting that moment _again_. "I keep thinking maybe it will change between Alex and me—that the guilt I feel knowing I moved on before I was over Joe will go away."

"How long have you been seeing him? Two? Three months? If you're not feeling anything yet, you won't."

"I do have feelings for him though," I adamantly stated.

"I don't doubt you do, but it's not what you _should_ be feeling. You can't deny it."

"How are you so sure?"

Scooping more salsa onto her plate, she sidestepped my question, "Why are you leading Alex on. More importantly, why are you leading yourself on?"

"Have you seen my track record for relationships? Every single one I've managed to screw up. I just want a shot at a normal relationship—to make it work." I felt defeated, and I knew it came through in every aspect of my being.

"Stephanie, you can't force things. You and I both damn well know you haven't been the cause of _all _your relationships to fail. What is with you?"

I waved her off. "In some way, shape or form it _has_ been my fault."

"I mean this in the nicest way. Right now you're not the woman I know. The woman I know may not have the best self-esteem, but she at least has some. The woman I know has a sense of humor. She's able to find humor in just about any situation. She doesn't lie down and take anything from anyone. Other than when you saw Sophia, I can't remember what your real smile looks like."

"It seems to have worked in your favor," I replied. "I'm here aren't I?" I answered derisively.

"Stephanie, what are you going to do? You look exhausted. I have a baby and I'm not as tired as you."

"I don't know," I replied honestly. "I'm going home next weekend with Val. She's giving Albert another chance. Alex wants to come too."

"He's going home with you?" Her expression was pure shock. "You're going to let your parents meet him?"

I snorted. "Yep. My mom has been pestering me nonstop to meet him since I told her I was in a relationship, and Alex is determined I don't leave him behind."

"I noticed he seemed a little clingy lately. I'm actually surprised he hasn't called you."

I took my phone out of my purse and waved it around. "That's only because I turned it off. I had to up my calling minutes because of how much he talks. As soon as I drop you off, I'll have to spend at least fifteen minutes deleting voicemails and then have to sit through his diatribe of how I need to keep in better contact. I thought my mother was bad. Turns out she was only preparing me for Alex."

"He does that? There would be a full blown battle going on at my house."

I snorted, because that's exactly what I wanted to do. The new Stephanie however was trying the calm tactic—counting to one hundred and then maybe having to double—even triple—it a few times. Ugh, one more way I was giving in. But compromise was needed, right?

"He says I used to find trouble all the time, so he does it to make sure I'm safe."

We finished our meals and on the way home Marisa would not stop talking about all the money she saved with the dang Groupon. She used the coupons for excuses to go on dates with her husband. I was the stand in this week, and she kept thanking me. When we arrived at her house, I stole one more squish and sniff of baby Sophie and headed home, prepared to deal with Alex's inquisition during the drive.

* * *

"Oh-Mi-Gawd! I think I'm seein' an apparition or whatever that shit's called!" Lula cried while scuffling toward me. "This _cannot_ be for real!"

I waved my hands in the air. "I'm for real. I'm here. Nice to see you too," I rolled my eyes.

"Are you sure? I still think you're a ghost. I didn't think you'd ever show up again after bailin' on us last time. I felt like minced meat."

"Well today you're my first stop, _and_ I brought doughnuts. If you want them you'd better _stop_ thinking I'm a ghost."

That got Lula's attention.

"Oh shit! You _are_ real! What was I thinkin'?"

Again I rolled my eyes as Lula confiscated the box of doughnuts from me. Good to see some things never changed.

"Hey Steph," came from Connie. "You staying long? We could sure use your help around here."

"Yeah! You know I could really use help with the jackass Connie gave me this morning," Lula confirmed after stuffing the rest of her doughnut into her mouth. It may have been half the doughnut, but it's Lula—I try not to judge. When she finished chewing she added, "Not that I need help. More like I want to experience old times."

"Sorry, Lula, no can do today. Alex is with me." But I really wanted to—that is if the FTA was harmless.

"Alex?" Connie and Lula echoed excitedly. Both of them jumped from their positions and ran to the big plate glass window in front of the bonds office. I felt the whoosh of air from them flying by at top speed to put their noses against the window.

Laughing, I said, "Give it a minute, and he'll be in. He's just finishing up a phone call."

Not two seconds later, I heard both girls suck in air as Alex climbed out of the car. Clad in running shoes, tan shorts and a breezy black button up shirt, I had to admit he was enough to get most woman's juices flowing.

"How the hell do you do it, girlie?" Lula asked, shaking her head.

"Do what?" I looked back and forth between Connie and Lula who were trying to appear as though they _hadn't_ been acting like a couple of weirdo women.

"Snag such fine ass men. Although, he doesn't look like he has an ass like Officer Hottie, and he's not quite as muscular as Batman, but you sure do alright for yourself."

"The cheek bones are nice," stated Connie, and she was right. Alex had a very manly face. At least that's what I was hoping she was talking about.

Before they could continue on with their assessment of the goods, Alex walked in.

"Hey Honey," Alex leaned over and gave me a kiss. I'm pretty sure I heard swooning in the background.

"Alex, this is Connie," I said, sweeping my hand in her direction. "And this is Lula. Girls, this is Alex."

"Alexander MacLaine, but you can call me Alex." I rolled my eyes. I _hated_ the way he introduced himself. It felt so—pretentious.

"Nice to meet you." Lula came rushing over to take Alex's hand. In the process she dropped an earring.

"You as well, Lula." Alex said, wide-eyed at Lula's outfit.

After shaking Alex's hand, Lula turned around and bent over to retrieve her earring, flashing us at least half of each butt cheek. Lula still hadn't learned that short, Spandex outfits were not her best friends. Alex coughed and turned toward me in shock. I smiled. That was my Lula. She may have aggravated me at times, but she was truly a genuine person. No harm, no foul.

"So girlie you gonna help me round up some scumbags today?"

"I can't," I shook my head. "We only brought one car, and I have to go check into the hotel."

"_Huhn!_ You ain't staying with your parents?"

"Alex didn't feel comfortable staying in my old room. Mom's pretty upset about it. I had to promise not to go to the continental breakfast," I explained. More like he thought I'd feel more comfortable in a different atmosphere to have my way with him. I wasn't necessarily dreading it, but to say I was unexcited was an understatement. He had convinced himself this would be where we finally did more than kissing. No amount of 'I just don't think I'm ready yet' would change his mind.

"Not a bad idea and all, but I thought you would be spending time with your grandma. I saw her the other night at the hall. You know—bingo night. That's where I found that slime Gino Santoni."

"He isn't slime, Lula. He has dementia. He forgot to pay a parking ticket several times," Connie explained to Alex and me.

"Anyway—" Lula shot Connie a pointed look, daring her to interrupt again. "She was telling off some old man—said he didn't have a big enough penis and she was over him."

I started shaking with the laughter I was trying to hold in. That was my grandma. No one else was like her—anywhere. I couldn't wait to see her, but the last time I'd been in town I hadn't been able to hang out with my bond girls. I needed that too.

"So you gonna help me or not?"

"Help her with what?" Alex turned to me and asked in a semi-demanding tone, obviously missing the scumbag comment from a few moments ago.

"Uh, no—no I'm not helping her with anything."

"Oh, come on white girl—for old times! This one's easy—just check fraud. And he's an old fart. We can take my baby since he ain't known to walk around naked. Please?" Lula pleaded.

I really wanted to help Lula for old time's sake like she'd said, but I knew Alex was going to have a fit and not allow it.

Alex glared at me and then his face softened. "Actually, I was just talking to my good friend that lives here. We want to meet up for drinks later. Why don't I go check into the hotel while you and," he motioned to Lula, not remembering her name, "do whatever it is you do. I'll meet you at your parents before I go out. She can drop you off. Tonight I'll go out with my friend, and you can relax with your family. I can pick you up later."

"What about Rex?"

"What about him?" Alex asked.

I rolled my eyes and got a look that said 'don't act like that' from Alex.

"He can't stay in the car."

Connie piped in, saving the day, "You can leave him with me. When you come back with your body receipt," she smirked, "you can pick him up."

"Okay honey, go get him. What time do I need to be at your parents? And write down the address."

Lula and Connie both gave me odd looks, and I pretended I hadn't noticed his annoyed tone.

Sounded like a good plan to me!

I had just set Rex down on Connie's desk after Alex left to check into the hotel, when the jingle from the bell at the door rang through the office. From the looks on the girls' faces I didn't have to guess too hard on who it was. My heart stared skipping beats out of nervousness.

Ranger.

Our last conversation had been a 'closure' conversation. I hadn't really thought about him much lately, as my thoughts had been more consumed with Joe and work. But now I was worried about how awkward this meeting would be.

Biting my lip, I turned around to greet him.

"Babe. Nice to see you around here again." He nodded at me.

"Thanks—nice seeing you too. I'm just visiting though."

"So you like Philly?" he asked. Wow, something must have happened with Ranger. I worried maybe I was going to use all of his monthly word allotment. I nodded as he continued on into Vinnie's office. I hadn't even realized Vinnie was in—thank God!

He stopped right in the doorway. "How long you here for?"

"Just till tomorrow. I'm dropping Alex off at the airport and then heading home."

Ranger's lips tipped up. "Alex?"

"Yeah, he—uh—um," I stammered. "He's someone I've been seeing. He's going to a regional conference for the week." For whatever reason that got me a half smile from Ranger, which would be a blinding toothy smile from anyone else. It almost seemed like he was happy for me.

"Plans tonight?" he asked, which got gasps out of Lula and Connie, but, for me felt more like the wind had been knocked out of me. What did he think? That we were going to have a relationship again? Not that it had stopped him before, but had I not just told him I was seeing someone? _Hello!_ I wasn't the same person anymore!

"Actually, I could use all three of you if you're available." Both Connie and Lula's eyes brightened. Meanwhile, I let out a giant breath of air. "Rangeman has a bond out on a guy that is going out with a bunch of buddies tonight. We could use you two," he said pointing at Lula and Connie, "to distract his friends. You," he said looking at me, "can get the guy out. It'd be worth your time."

"I—I don't know. I seem to remember the last distraction job I did for you didn't end so well."

Ranger shook his head. "This time there won't be any outside factors like Bentio to come in and screw everything up."

"Let me think about it, okay?"

"Babe," he said and turned into Vinnie's office.

"You better do this girlie. I won't never forgive you if you don't. I gotta make me some money. Pay for a purse I got on order." She dropped her voice. I wasn't sure if it was so no one could hear her hormones as she added, "spend some time with the one and only Batman."

"I said I'd think about it. Let's see how rounding up this FTA goes."

Leaving Rex with Connie, we headed out to get Vince Stromboli. I was a little nervous about not having any gear with me other than hairspray, but then again, that's pretty much all I'd used when this was my profession. Plus Lula had _promised_ me I wouldn't need them.

For once, Lula was correct. We hadn't needed a single weapon to get Vince in the back of the Firebird. I doubted if we'd even needed handcuffs, but he'd insisted we put them on.

I missed getting amped up for a take down. Even if this one had been easy, a small adrenaline rush had still been there. When we arrived at the precinct to turn Vince over, I realized I missed pulling into that parking lot too. I missed all the familiar faces—especially Joe's. I missed all the people I knew could be counted on when something in my life went awry—yet another thing I'd taken for granted. A feeling of melancholy swept over me.

I was waiting by the bench for Lula to get her body receipt when I heard, "Well, well, well, look what we have here." Eddie grabbed me into a tight hug.

"Hey, I missed you too. Now let me go so I can breathe!" I gasped out.

Before I could get my feet off the ground, I was taken from Eddie and suddenly in Carl's arms, then Big Dog and finally Brian Simon's.

"Shit it's been quiet around here without you. It's not the same," Brian said and everyone around us made sounds of agreement.

"Life isn't the same without all of you in it either," I said, and realized it wasn't. I missed the familiarity of home.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the redhead, looking just as freaking pretty as the day I'd seen her with Joe.

I must have been giving her my all mighty death glare, because Carl snorted, "Cynthia Something. FBI."

I raised my eyebrows in question. I knew there was more he wasn't telling me. He continued, "Working on that case with Morelli. Rumor has it she's scouting for recruits, and he's top of the list. If he makes this bust, he's on the golden highway to government."

"They're not seeing each other?" I asked.

Eddie barked out a laugh. "No, even Morelli couldn't get her to change her ways." He dropped his voice to a whisper. "She's a lesbian."

Big Dog was quick to add, "Not that he would try to—you know—change her or anything." He winked.

Was he really joking about this with _me_? Lesbians don't kiss men on the lips do they? And the way they'd been walking, there had to be more to the story. Probably it just hadn't hit the Burg grapevine yet. It would come out eventually.

"Yeah, he's been too busy working to come home too, kinda like you," Eddie jabbed me.

A wave of relief washed over me, but at the same time I was sad to know Joe had been working himself so hard he couldn't come home to Bob as well as the fact he was possibly being recruited for the FBI. Not that being recruited was a bad thing, but I wasn't participating in the joy I'm sure he was feeling over it. I'd been lucky enough to find him in another city and state. That wouldn't happen if the FBI took him far, far away.

"Anyway, it was great seein' you. Make sure you say 'hi' next time you're around," Carl said. Again everyone nodded in agreement, and I was passed around to everyone for farewell hugs.

"That was a really good visit," I said to Lula on the way back to the bonds office.

"It's always a good day when you're around, Steph. They wasn't lyin'. It ain't the same without your ass getting into trouble around here." She put the car in park and turned to look at me, "Speaking of asses, you don't have one no more. You've never been voluptuous like myself, but girl, you ain't nothin' but a pale ass twig. I didn't know you could get any whiter. Showed me wrong."

"I've been working out—uh—it helps me with stress."

"They don't have Tastykakes a state over?"

"They do. I just try to stay away from them."

"You didn't have a doughnut either this mornin'. You sick?"

"No, Lula." I said exasperated, deciding a change of subject was in order. I had the perfect solution. "So, about tonight's distraction—"

"YES!" Lula yelled. "I knew you was gonna do it."

I shook my head. "Well, I'm going to call Alex first and see what he says. Capturing Vince went pretty well today."

"You're going to call a man to ask permission to do _anything_?" Lula asked in disbelief.

I thought about it for a moment and decided—no—I wasn't going to tell him anything. He was going out with a friend, and _technically_ that's all I would be doing too. That's what I'd tell him. Or not. Maybe I wouldn't tell him anything at all.

"Nope, you're right. Now let's call Ranger. See what we need to wear."

* * *

"Short and skimpy," I told Connie and Lula. "We won't be wearing wires because of our outfits, but I think we'll be fine. He said this guy isn't too much of a hazard—just needs a lady's touch."

Connie and Lula high-fived each other.

"Shoppin' time! I'm about to distract the shit out of those men! You watch out—this might be my next profession." She did a little dance.

Ranger had the perfect plan, because we all knew it wouldn't take much for Lula to distract a man.

"I don't have time to shop. I have to go to my parents' house for dinner." I said with a pout.

"What size you wear? You seen my wardrobe? I _do_ short and skimpy." Lula asked.

Connie and I exchanged nervous glances. "Uh, I wear a 3."

Lula looked thoughtful for a moment. "Oh yeah, I got plenty of that. I'll bring over a few things, and then we'll head out, girlie. Come on, I got shit to do."

I grimaced. I hadn't brought anything other than ultra conservative clothes thanks to Alex having thrown a tantrum over what I'd originally laid out on the bed to pack. I didn't have much of a choice. I knew Connie wore a few sizes too big for me, considering her Betty Boop assets.

Grabbing Rex, we made our way to my parents' house. The whole ride I didn't say a word since Lula was going nonstop on ways she was going to distract tonight.

"Maybe I'll pop a boob out like I did with that car thief. You know who I'm talkin' about? Bugsy? No, it was—" snapping her fingers, she added, "Buggy." And she hollered out a laugh.

We pulled up front of my parents' row house. "Tell your Grandma I said hi and I'll check you later," Lula said as I got out of the car.

Apparently maternal instincts were still in place even though I'd moved away, seeing as my mom and grandma were waiting out front per usual. My mother rushed toward me, gave an awkward hug around Rex's cage and then took him from me.

"I'll take him inside."

Grandma was right behind her in a bright pink warm up suit—and florescent pink hair to match.

Primping her hair, she said, "You like it? I thought I'd do something different since you were coming. Now I have to go finish my make up!"

I nodded. I didn't have words for her hair. She took my hand, and we walked into the house together. I went into the kitchen while she continued on upstairs.

"Your father is out with the cab. He'll be home before dinner. Was that Lula that dropped you off? Where's Alex?"

"Lula and I were out." I didn't want to give her a reason to backtrack on all the progress we'd made with our relationship knowing I'd been out hunting an FTA—no matter how harmless he'd been. "Alex should be here before dinner too. He went to check into the hotel."

My mother pursed her lips together. I could tell she wanted to get on me about the hotel thing again, but she was trying to keep it civil.

"I know, I know," I said, waving my hands. "But Alex wanted to get a room so we did."

She gave me a sad smile. "I guess you're right. All that matters is you're here. And you brought your sister. Poor Albert, he's been here almost every night."

"Really?"

"Yes, he was. I didn't want to say anything to you since your sister was there, and I knew it would come out eventually. I'm glad you talked with her. He may be an idiot," she crossed herself for saying something derogatory toward another, "but he loves Valerie and the girls."

"Uh huh." I waited a moment before proceeding, bracing myself, "Do you know what's going on with Grandma?" When I saw she was about to deny knowing anything, I added firmly, "You can't _really _expect me to believe she's _just_ going to physical therapy, and you know _nothing_ about it, do you?"

The look on her face was pure guilt. "No, I don't. You aren't a child. As you can tell, there are times I still want to protect you like one, but you're right, I can't." She looked at me sheepishly.

Pulling out chairs for both of us, she went on to tell me about Grandma Mazur's health scare.

"The doctors aren't sure what it was. Because of her age, they were almost positive it was cancer." She sniffled. I was starting to tear up as well. Not _my_ grandmother! "They kept taking blood work and then they did get concerned about her arthritis. I think she was worrying so much her mind decided to convince her she wasn't going to make it, and she started giving up."

She got up and brought the box of tissues over to me, dabbing her eyes, "When she went to stay with you, they wanted her to meet with a specialist there. She wasn't prepared to give more blood and go through a very strenuous physical evaluation. That's why she was so exhausted. She felt so badly. She wanted to spend time with you, but she was so tired all she did was sleep."

Blowing my nose, I asked, "Do they know what she has?"

She shook her head. "No, they're awaiting the outcome of _more_ tests. I don't know if I can watch her go through any more than I have." At my shocked expression, she added, "I can, and I will—that's not what I meant, but she's my mother! I hate to see her in so much pain."

By this point we were both crying like babies over the pain of a mother and grandmother, and our own pain of having to watch her go through this.

This had to have been the worst year.

"W-why didn't you want to say anything?"

It was as if a light switch turned on, and my mother realized she'd broken down—in front of someone even. She immediately got up, blew her nose and went to the kitchen sink to splash cold water on her face.

When she spoke again, she was her normal stoic self—back to Helen Plum, Queen Mom.

"I was respecting her wishes. Until she knows either way, she doesn't want anyone to worry."

She stopped me before I could even open my mouth. "Don't worry, I told her she wasn't fooling anyone. The two of you both wear your feelings on your face. I don't care what comes out of your mouth I always see the truth." She gave me a pointed look. "Don't say anything to her, but it wouldn't be a bad thing if you called to check in with her a little more often. I know she's missing you."

"I miss her—well everyone—too," I said, still letting out little hiccups from my crying jag.

"I can tell. It looks like it's taking a toll on you. You've always been skinny because of our metabolism, but this is too much." She ran her hand up and down beside me.

"I've just been trying to be healthier." _And because of the lecture I would get if I didn't show up at the gym_. I think I'd worked out more in the last month than in my entire life. It so hadn't been worth it.

"What was the conversation we just had? That's not the truth and you know it. When you're ready to talk to me about it, I'm here." I couldn't believe this was my mother talking. Blinking back the tears that threatened, inside I did a happy dance. "And promise me you won't say anything to your grandmother." When I hesitated, she gave me the same look that had me confessing the choo choo incident. "Stephanie! Promise me."

"Promise!" I squeaked. That look had the same effect in my thirties as it had when I was a small child. How scary is that?

"Now that we've settled everything, help me finish dinner. Your father should be home shortly."

I helped her whip up the potatoes and did the gravy. We worked in companionable silence until everything was finished. Every once in a while I would catch her watching me. She had what looked like a proud smile on her face as I assisted.

"You said you'd been cooking. I'm sorry I didn't realize how much improvement you've made. You whipped those potatoes up as if you'd been doing it for years. No blender or whatever the young girls are using nowadays."

"Thanks." I said, trying to act nonchalant. In truth I was pretty proud too. Damn Alex and the classes he'd made me take. It'd been worth it to see the smile on her face.

The automatic timer for the pot roast went off—not that my mother needed one. It worked as more of an alarm for everyone else. Grandma made her way into the kitchen in the same ensemble she'd had on earlier with her make up completed. She looked like a full make up container had exploded on her face. Concealing powder five shades too dark stopped at her chin. Bright pink blush, orange lipstick, and finally deep purple eye shadow completed the look. Maybe she'd been hanging with Lula while I'd been out of town.

"What'd ya think?" she asked, smacking her lips together.

"I like it." I tore my eyes away from her to steal a glance at my mother, who was crossing herself. "Hot date tonight. Have to look my best," she said.

"You're going to Stiva's?" I questioned in horror.

"Stiva's—Bingo—maybe we'll hit the bar later. I took a nap, so I'm in tip top form for a good night," she finished with a wink.

Followed closely but not too close, were my dad and Alex, who apparently had met each other already since I heard my father say, "You really should be looking into American cars. That Buick out there doesn't cost a quarter as much as yours for oil changes—all that synthetic crap they make you put in German cars," he grunted with disgust.

When our eyes met, the bitter look on his face disappeared. "Pumpkin."

"Daddy." I responded, making my way into his arms for a hug. Absence had definitely made the heart grow fonder. My father and I'd never had a difficult relationship, but we weren't exactly the close, huggy type, and I welcomed his arms.

He patted my shoulder and shot Alex a disapproving look as he made his way over to his seat at the table.

_Wonder what that was about?_

Alex greeted me with a peck on the cheek.

"Did you have a good day, honey?"

"Yeah," I said happily, "Lula and I—"

"Why don't you introduce me to your mom?" he said, cutting me off.

"Okay," I said, turning around to go into the kitchen where my mother was. She was right behind me. I slammed into the bowl she was holding, and rolls went flying everywhere.

"Honey, how many times do I have to tell you to watch where you're going?" Alex's stern voice came from behind me as I helped my mom pick up the rolls.

"It's not a problem," my mother said to Alex. "It was an accident. They happen."

"They seem to happen more when she's around," joked Alex, but I could tell he was serious.

My mother shot him her best Burg death glare. "Why don't you go take a seat? Stephanie can help me bring everything to the table."

_That's_ where I got 'the look' from.

Alex did what he was told. No one messes with the death glare. My mother pulled me into the kitchen.

"Does he always talk to you like that?"

Remembering our conversation from this afternoon, I replied honestly, "Some times. Not all the time. I push his buttons and that's his way of reacting."

My mother looked disappointed. "How were you pushing his buttons? He wasn't here for ten minutes."

I shrugged my shoulders. "I don't know. Maybe it was the conversation with Daddy."

"No excuses. There is no—"

I cut her off, knowing where she was about to go, and knowing I wouldn't be able to tell her she was wrong—because she wasn't.

"Let's go eat. He's leaving after dinner, and we can talk about it later—maybe."

We made our way into the dining room, and the sight before me startled me. There was another man in Joe's chair, and, God, it looked—_wrong_. We proceeded to have one of _the_ most awkward dinners I'd ever had. No one said anything. I kept meeting Grandma's eyes, and she'd smile. I'd given her a questioning look once, and she'd darted her eyes between my dad and Alex. Something must have happened while I was in the kitchen with my mom.

I could have sworn I heard my father grumble, "Where's the Italian Stallion to steal my food when you need 'em?" All the while shoveling more gravy onto his plate.

"Excuse me?" Alex asked my father.

"Nothing," My father replied in a sharp tone. _Whew_. The tension skyrocketed through the roof before it was quiet again.

Lula showed up right before dessert was served, and with a short, not sweet, kiss goodbye, Alex headed out to meet with his friend.

Lula saved the day by keeping the conversation from ever going to Alex. Eventually I knew I'd have to have that talk with my mother—now possibly my father too, but the longer I put it off the better!

"Mmmm, nothin' like Plum dessert!" Lula said, shoveling more pineapple upside down cake down her throat. If she knew what was good for her, she wouldn't dare go for a third piece.

My mom showed off her skill of knowing me so well by saying, "I made another cake to send home with you tomorrow. Lula, have some more."

_Thank God!_ I could officially enjoy my dessert sans Alex there to gripe at me, and without having to worry about not getting enough of my cherished cake.

After four pieces for Lula and two and a half for me, we made our way to my old bedroom. Lula hung up five different outfits for me to choose from.

I was thanking my lucky stars Grandma wasn't here to try and join us since she'd already left with her date. She'd been in such a great mood earlier; I know she would have weaseled her way into going with us. There's only so much of a defense I could put out.

All the items Lula brought were spandex. _Oh man_. This was going to be an adventure. Of course I couldn't expect her to bring any regular colors. No black, no white—not even silver.

We had florescent orange. Nope—not wearing that one.

Yellow. Again, _no_!

Settling on a soft pink, I was absolutely astonished to see the spandex fit me. Holy miracle of fashion!

"You've worn this recently?" I asked Lula as we headed to pick up Connie and then off to the bar.

"Hell yeah I have. Just picked it up from the dry cleaners yesterday. I gotta say, you look alright but it's obvious the fit was made for a woman of my size."

"Yeah, you pull this off way better than I can." The dress was super clingy, just Lula's style. It was like wearing saran wrap. How did Lula pull this off every day _and_ hunt FTA's? It boggled the mind.

Connie promised to supply the shoes since we wore the same size. They were a simple, strappy, metallic silver set of heels. I slipped them on when we arrived at Marty's Place.

It was a bar and grille that catered to the NASCAR crowd and picked up generally after nine o'clock. We were to wait for Ranger's call and then move in.

We arrived shortly after ten, hanging out at Connie's and coming up with a game plan, until we heard from Ranger that Darren Olea, the target, was there with four of his best friends.

Meeting with Ranger and Tank outside, we all huddled together.

"He's pretty harmless, but I need you all to be as alert as possible." He looked pointedly at all three of us. "We don't want you to take any unnecessary risks. If this goes as well as I hope it will, we should have this done in fifteen minutes."

"Fifteen minutes!" I shouted and then covered my mouth. "I haven't done anything like this in _years_!"

"Relax, Babe. You'll do fine. Just go with the flow, and be yourself. You do those two things, and I'll bet in fifteen minutes you guys can start your girls' night out." He smiled and gave me reassuring hug. It felt friendly. I knew he sensed the change in our dynamics when he gave me a very small, sad smile.

"Okay, you ready?" I asked Connie and Lula, trying to get myself pumped up.

"Hell yea!" Lula said.

"You know it; I need a drink, ASAP," agreed Connie.

"Let's do this," I said, marching into the bar and shaking off as much nervous energy as I could.

Marty's place shut down the kitchen at ten every night. so it was nothing but drinks flowing when we found a booth. I slowly scanned the room, until I found Darren and company in a booth three over from ours.

"He's right there. Lula, are you ready?"

"Girlfriend! I was born ready. Watch my drunk walk."

Off Lula went, playing drunk, teetering on her six-inch heels and wobbling all over like a fool. Exactly what we needed.

She 'lost her balance', tripped and fell face first into one of the friend's laps. "Ohhhhhhh mmy gosh! I am sssssso sssoorrrryyyy," She apologized, acting drunk and slurring.

In came Connie for the rescue.

"What are you doing, Danette? Get off this man," Connie said, helping Lula off his lap and showing off her miles of cleavage while bent over. "I am so sorry for my friend. She can't hold her liquor for a darn thing," she said in the sweetest voice, eyelashes batting.

And the men were hooked. Maybe Ranger had been right. We'd only been there five minutes.

"Not a problem little ladies," friend one said while staring at Connie's boobs. "Why don't you let us buy you a drink?"

Before she could answer, I came tumbling over. "There you are!" I said, louder than necessary. "Why'd ya leave me alone at the table? I want company tooooo. Come on guys. I wanna dance!" I whined, doing my own drunken impersonation. I locked eyes with Darren and licked my lips, "How about _you_ be my partner?" I said, pointing right at him. My ease at being forward was frightening, but it was just what the doctor had ordered.

Darren gave me a leering look and then punched friend two, "Move outta my way. This fine lady wants to dance." The two men scooted out of the booth.

We made our way onto the dance floor. I was being obnoxious, tripping all over myself and then doing a stupid girl giggle. I was making myself sick.

We were dancing out on the floor to some twangy, country song. Not moving in two-step beats or however you're supposed to dance to country. I felt his disgusting arousal in his pants near my arm. I was ready to get this show on the road, and I was sure he was too.

Lowering my voice and making sure to put extra air in my words without spitting all over him—much as I wanted to—I leaned near his ear and said, "I'm done with dancing. What are your plans for the rest of the night?"

"Hmmmm, anything you want, sexy."

I winked, and he pulled me over to the table.

"We're heading out. This should cover me," Darren said, putting thirty dollars on the table. I risked a quick look at Connie and Lula, and they were smiling ear to ear.

I waved goodbye to my friends, and out the front door we went.

We were twenty feet from the entrance when Ranger and a crew of men in black came out of nowhere to cuff and shackle Darren. I kept walking like nothing had happened.

Who takes home someone when they don't know their name? _Gross!_

I was waiting behind a parked car for the 'coast is clear' signal when Ranger found me.

"I said you could do it, didn't I?

I smiled at him. He always did have my back. "I guess you did."

"I have to bring him in but call me before you leave so you can pick up your check."

"It's okay. I have a pretty full day tomorrow. I'll send you my address."

He ruffled my hair and gave me a quick peck on the cheek. "Later, Babe."

Before I could say 'Bye' he was off into the night. Everything with Ranger today had felt friendly. It made me believe we both were happy with those terms. Where we should have been long ago, I thought, regretfully. I'd be happy to stay this way if he'd allow it. It gave me hope I could do the same with Joe.

Heading back into the bar, I found the girls right where I'd left them.

Lula was legitimately snuggled up to one of Darren's friends, and Connie was in a deep conversation with another. Both had huge margaritas in front of them.

"Girl, you was fuckin' great. Ranger was right about you. That's why he picked you."

Lula's date looked from her to me, "What? Where's Darren? I thought you two was leavin' together?"

I gave Lula a look that said SHUT UP. She started fumbling for an answer, "Uh—she—uh—I."

"I lost him in the crowd. I thought I'd find him back here. Oh well, he probably found someone else to take home."

His friends grunted and nodded. _Men!_

"Hey, girlie! Ain't that your man over there with the blonde?" Lula was pointing out two people on the dance floor.

I squinted to try to get a better look. "Omigod."

"Holy shit! You see that bump 'n grind? That should be illegal."

"Shut up, Lula. I don't think that's him."

"Uh huh, oh yes it is," She said with her best head bob. _How did her head not fall off? _ "You need to get your ass over there and give him a piece of your mind. I wouldn't be lettin' no man disrespect me in public like that. Huh uh. No way." More head bobbing. I was getting whiplash watching her.

"I said shut up, Lula!"

"She's right, Steph. You can't let him get away with that," Connie said.

It took them ten minutes to convince me to confront Alex, because it _was_ him. For three of those ten minutes, he was in a solid, no holds barred, lip lock with Blondie McGee.

I went up and tapped on his shoulder. When they still hadn't come up for air, I cleared my throat. When they _still _hadn't parted, I punched his arm.

That got his attention.

"What the—" He turned to face me, and shock and horror abounded on his face.

"Find your own way to the airport. Don't come near me _ever_ again."

I headed straight for the exit flanked by Connie and Lula.

"That there was disappointin'. I thought you were gonna punch Barbie's lights out," Lula exclaimed. Connie was smart enough to keeps her lips shut tight.

I was shaking with fury when we left, and it'd barely subsided by the time I was dropped off at my parent's house. With a final wave goodbye, I let myself into the house.

_Shit!_ How was I going to get home? Alex had driven his car, and I was supposed take it back with me! Mine had been on the fritz, so I guess it was time to have my dad take me car shopping. There was no one better to ask the favor of.

I sent a little thank you 'upstairs' for everyone already having gone to bed. I made as little noise as possible since no one was expecting me to have come back.

No tears came that night. I was too angry to cry, and I was going to stay that way.

* * *

I awoke to the usual trash talking fight over the bathroom. I had to slip my robe on over Lula's borrowed outfit, since I hadn't bothered to change. Not that I could change into anything other than my clothes from yesterday. Alex had my bag. He could keep it for all I cared. It was shirts and pants he'd picked out. My makeup was replaceable.

I stepped out of my room and just about gave my grandmother a heart attack. She let out a yelp and jumped.

"Sorry Grandma. I didn't mean to scare you." I stifled a laugh because the look on her face was just too funny.

"What are you doing here? You're supposed to be at the hotel."

"Long story," I replied.

"You can tell me." She perked up. Gossip. Yay—not.

"It's complicated."

"Must be a doozy then, since the last time I heard you say that was when you were in Haw…" Her voice trailed off as I made my way downstairs.

Mom was already cooking breakfast. She looked at me, shook her head and took two coffee cups out of the cabinet. Bringing over the cups and coffee decanter, she sat next to me.

"This is what I wanted—you to be here in the morning. To what do I owe the privilege?"

"Cliff's notes version is all you're getting, and you don't get to ask any questions," I stated my terms.

She pursed her lips and then nodded affirmation.

I took a deep breath, knowing that after I was finished she'd bombard me with questions. Letting it out, I began, "Alex was out with a friend last night, but it wasn't the type of friend I was thinking. He's on his own now, and I need a car."

"I didn't like him anyway. I saw him for an hour, and I wanted to beat him with my meat mallet." She crossed herself. "I don't even want to do that to Albert. Eat breakfast and your father will take you shopping. This job pays well, so you can get a decent car."

My mouth was agape. I couldn't shut it. When I tried, it was on the floor in seconds. She'd said nothing to indicate this was my fault. Nothing about how I should go groveling back to him. Nothing.

"Good for you, Stephanie. I didn't like him the first time I met him. I just didn't want to hurt your feelings. Plus sitting across from Officer Hot Ass was a better view," Grandma Mazur chimed in, making sure her opinion was heard.

I ate a full breakfast with my family, and then my dad and I went car shopping.

He refused to go to a used car lot or a foreign car manufacturer. Citing all the various cars I'd owned that had broken down on me because they weren't American made or were old, we found the perfect car for me at the Chevrolet dealership.

I gave him a kiss goodbye and said I'd call as soon as I got back to Philly.

On the drive in my beautiful new car, I started pondering the future. The game had officially changed. What did I want? What did I need?

I should've been upset about what had happened. But I wasn't. It felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I had begun to feel suffocated by Alex. Every time I'd see him, he'd bring another 'gift' of a new outfit, each more preppy and conservative than the last. Not my style. Then there was the nagging.

_Sit up a little straighter._

_Slow down when you eat. _

_You're drawing attention. _

_Are you really putting that in your mouth? That means thirty more minutes on the treadmill after you've done the stair climber._

If it weren't for catching Alex being a _stupid_ man, I'd be riding the high off of two successful apprehensions on my drive home. Instead I felt embarrassed— like plain old crap. Not only had I been cheated on _again_, I was realizing I'd let Alex change me.

I'd promised myself to give our relationship a real shot, but it wasn't worth the anger and embarrassment I'd experienced. While I hadn't given him a chance to explain, had I really needed to? Fuck my self-imposed rule!

I needed Joe.

That's it! Monday after work I'd call Joe. But I needed a reason. Dinner? In or out? Hmmm…I could make Joe dinner! Show him my new skills. Show him I'm _something different _now. But what would get him over to my house? Bob! I needed to hear about Bob. Maybe I could take Bob. I had a backyard.

Okay, it wasn't the greatest plan, but I had a plan and I was determined. I'd figure out the rest later.


	7. Chapter 7

Not only do I not own the characters this time around they belong to JE, I also don't own the lyrics, they belong to AC/DC.

**Happy Friday!  
**Thank you to everyone for sticking around for another chapter, I hope you enjoy this one as much as I liked writing it.

****Have you noticed all the Cupcakes coming out of the woodwork? Of course you have the amazing talents of BlackhawkCarol and Jmts2012 (my most amazing Betas and friends) but on top of that, Laura17 updated her Life and Times of Stephanie Plum after a long hiatus! Forever Winter has a new story and Animorphgirl has several... I will be spending the next couple hours catching up on her fics as well :) Go read them if you haven't yet! There is always room for more, hint, hint!

Carol and Julie, thank you for all your support and friendship. I think we make a fabulous team. I couldn't ask for better people to work with. You dedicate so much time and energy to every single one of my chapters; this story would not be where it is without you.

* * *

**Chapter 7, Joe's POV**

I was sitting in a conference room at the main NYPD hub with six men that, so far, had said nothing of importance. Along with those six men were five others joining us via teleconference—three in Trenton and two in Philadelphia.

All I could hear was an endless drone of voices going over details I had already committed to memory. Every one of these men and women liked to hear their own voices speaking. It was that simple.

I'd been to one of these meetings every two weeks for the last eight months. We used them to sort through any new and old information, trying to find links. There hadn't been any new details on the cargo ring we were after in over a month. They were either laying low or had moved further south with their operation. Only time would tell.

If I would've known how long this operation was going to take, I doubt I would've accepted taking the lead investigative position. All the initial intelligence information originally given to me had made everything look cut and dry. 'Two months tops' they'd told me. First, it was only I'd have to shuffle between Trenton and Philadelphia, but then New York came into play and I'd stayed between there and Philly ever since. Not long after we'd gotten wind of the ring in New York, the FBI had become involved, and it'd been a cluster fuck ever since.

All the red tape and protocols I had to go through before even picking up a pen. Despite being unmotivated myself, I had to put on a front to keep my teams motivated and as positive as best I could. I was a man of my word, and I had no plans of backing out of the investigation.

Detective Scarpozi was going over his information, the same information from two weeks ago, when I felt my phone vibrate.

I chanced a look at the read out and didn't recognize the number. Chances were it was one of the many informants we had working for us. As much as I wanted to excuse myself from the room just so I wouldn't have to hear Scarpozi's monotone briefing any longer, I went ahead and silenced the phone, directing the caller to voicemail. If it was one of our informants, I doubted they'd have any useful information anyway.

After Scarpozi went Pablo Garcia. At least his voice had some personality. Fifteen minutes into his spiel, my cell vibrated again. This time it was my mother.

Definitely letting her go to voicemail.

Every time I spoke to her I got the full ring on what was going on in the Burg—who so and so was dating, who had broken up, new murders, even if I already knew about them. I hadn't returned her last two calls, which meant her voicemail would be filled with yelling or crying, wondering if I was still alive. I knew it was awful to leave my mom hanging all the time, but I simply hadn't been in the mood to talk with her.

My patience had been at an all-time low lately, and she was the last person I wanted to take it out on.

Garcia was _finally_ wrapping up his speech when I got a text from Mooch, 'He ate Shirley's rose bush. I need him out soon. When ya coming home?' Of course he was talking about Bob; I'd left him back in Trenton with Mooch since no one else would take him for longer than a week.

Great, now I had one more thing added to my plate I didn't want to have to deal with.

I hadn't been back to Trenton as much in the last four months, because we'd had an FBI agent working with the two guys on the team there. She'd become a bit of a problem with my personal life, and I'd needed the distance. She was fully capable of handling anything I would've done anyway.

When I tried to explain why I didn't feel the need to go home, it didn't stop the pestering from the boys in blue over there. From what I'd heard, my leaving homicide, even temporarily, had left a wake in its path. The Chief had been the one to talk me into this assignment and had assured me we wouldn't be shorthanded because of new hires.

Apparently he'd been as accurate about staffing as he'd been about the length of this assignment.

Rumor was he'd had to hire four new guys in my place, and they'd only been able to solve a third of their caseload in double the time my average had been. I'll admit it'd felt good to know I still had it.

Two hours later, everyone was done stating everything that needed to be said, and we all made our moves to leave.

Garcia came up to me and did the man pat on the back, "Man, where were you today, Morelli? You sure as hell weren't in that meeting."

"These meetings are bullshit. Got the FBI up our ass like we have the answer to everything. Isn't that their job?" I joked.

The FBI always thought they were so superior to any other form of brass, but when it came down to it, the only difference was who signed your paycheck.

"I wouldn't be talking shit, Morelli; you might be one of them soon."

The FBI wanting me on their team was the main serving on my plate of shit I didn't want to deal with. I was happy being plain clothes. Yeah, so sometimes I needed a break from all the death and destruction, but it was what I was did best. I hadn't given them an answer yet, because I knew they could make this investigation even more hellacious then it already had become when they received my answer.

"I'm going back to Philly tonight. You know where to reach me."

He grunted a reply, and I headed to my apartment in Philadelphia.

I had a two-hour drive ahead of me. Since I was going in that direction, I decided I might as well save a call and stop in and see my mom. Probably could grab dinner while I was there too.

I'd avoid Mooch for a little while longer. I needed time to figure out what to do with my mangy mutt of love. What kind of animal destroyed a rose bush anyway? The thorns would be a deterrent to most dogs, but not Bob.

As I pulled into my mom's driveway, I looked at the time—six o'clock. Perfect. When I reached the door, I didn't even need to knock since Grandma Bella opened it for me.

"Joseph, how nice to see you. Your mother has been worried sick. I told her I would've had a vision if anything had happened to you."

I bent to give her a kiss on the cheek as I passed to go see my mother. She was in the kitchen at the sink, her back to me.

"Ma."

"Joseph!" she gasped and then scolded, "Joseph Anthony Morelli. Where have you been that you can't return my calls? You said this wasn't one of those operations where they cut off all contact."

"Sorry Ma, I've just been busy." I grabbed her and pulled her into a hug and kissed the top of her head. When Mom worried about my job and me, it was always best to hold her tight and provide reassurance that her 'baby' was still well.

"You should never be too busy to call your mother, Joseph. Come on; let me fix you a plate. You look exhausted," she pointed out, caressing my cheek in the way only a mother can.

I made my way into the dining room and joined Bella at the table. She was eyeing me but not to put 'the eye' on me. It was more of an assessing eye. You'd think I'd be used to this sort of thing coming from her, but anyone staring at you for a long period of time was just flat out unnerving.

"Can I help you with something, Grandma?" I asked, hoping to break whatever spell she was silently casting.

"Stephanie Plum broke up with her boyfriend."

I nearly choked on my drink, gulping what was left in my cup. Stephanie was the last subject I was expecting her to bring up. And not a subject I wanted to talk about. My mom chose that moment to bring the food in, and the three of us started filling our plates. The tension I'd felt moments ago started to leave my body, as I happily believed that by not answering, Bella would drop the subject.

Unfortunately, my mother brought it up instead.

"You're really not going to work it out this time?" she asked.

"No, Ma. We've been over this before. It's over. It's time for everyone, including you, to move on."

_Keep telling yourself that, Morelli. _

"Yes, Stephanie did. You're lagging behind the rest," Bella informed my mother. "Isn't that right?" Grandma Bella asked me. Her eyes were searching my face for answers I didn't want to provide. If only she knew them.

Perhaps she did.

"Bella," my mother admonished, shaking her head, "Joseph, I won't always be around. You need to find a woman to take care of you. You've grown into a fine man. I don't understand why you aren't settled yet."

This is why I didn't come over anymore. Between the nagging of finding a person to lock down and the gossip, it was almost more than I could take most times. Every movement made around the Burg would be told to me by the women on either side of me, including Stephanie's movements even though she didn't live here anymore.

My mother had fully accepted Stephanie a long time ago. Bella, on the other hand, had been another story. She'd taken much longer. By the time she'd come around, I'd already ripped the cord on our relationship.

"Ma, you and I both know I don't need anyone to take care of me," I tried to reason with her. "I _am_ capable of doing things on my own."

"That's not the point, Joseph. You shouldn't have to do everything on your own. It takes you a couple of days to do laundry or dishes. You need someone to do those things right away."

"I'm not looking for a slave," I noted dryly. If I had been, I would've married a long time ago.

There wasn't exactly a drought of women who wouldn't mind doing anything and everything I asked. But that wasn't what I wanted.

_Ever._

It just so happened I'd found a woman who wouldn't do almost _anything_ I asked. It felt like a blessing and a curse at the same time. Never had a woman been able to keep me on my toes like Stephanie. It'd been both aggravating and a total turn on.

"Joseph, a housewife is not a slave," my mother informed me.

"Enough, okay? I don't want to talk about this anymore. Thank you for the meal, but I have to get back to Philly tonight. I'd like to talk about something else," I said, putting my foot down.

She nodded, effectively putting to an end _that_ conversation for the evening. They both asked some questions about the assignment I was on. I reassured them it wasn't a dangerous case since I was completely out of the spotlight, as well as the fact we hadn't had anything new develop in more than a month.

"You'll find the answers. You always do," my mother encouraged with a smile.

"I've seen things. Have you forgotten the visions I've told you?"

I chuckled lightly at her. Jesus, that woman could scare the crap out of me.

As I made my way out of the door with a bag of leftovers, I gave the most important women in my life each a kiss on the cheek and promised to check in more often.

An hour later, I was locking the door behind me in my temporary apartment in Philly. Looking around the place, I gave it a sneer of disgust. It wasn't warm and inviting—definitely not a home. It was plain, filled with nothing but the basics, and served as a reminder of how I wasn't going anywhere.

Throwing my badge, wallet, keys and phone onto the table, I started to make my way into the kitchen. Halfway there, I remembered the missed calls from hours earlier in the meeting, so I picked up my phone and brought it with me to go grab a beer.

What a long Monday. I didn't know how many more of them I could take.

Popping the cap off my beer, I guzzled half of it before hitting the voicemail button on my phone.

"Please enter your password." The voicemail lady's voice prompted, and I did as I was told.

"Press 'one' for new messages." Voicemail lady was demanding, and I did as asked again.

There was silence on the other end for a moment. I was getting ready to press the delete button when I heard a deep breath being taken in.

"Hey—" I heard, and my stomach dropped.

I loved that voice, and I hated myself for it, for so many reasons.

"Hey, Joe, it's me—Steph. Um, call me back if you want—I mean, when you get the chance. Thanks."

I heard a sigh of relief, and then the voicemail lady asked if I wanted to keep or delete the message. Inner turmoil commenced. Finally I decided to keep it and threw my phone onto the coffee table.

Days like this it felt like her voice could smooth out the wrinkles in life. How badly had I needed to hear her voice? Worse than I wanted to admit, even to myself.

What a long eight months it'd been since I'd officially broken things off with her. Had I wanted to do it? Not really. Had it needed to be done? Yes.

This assignment had provided what I'd needed to officially break things off with her.

Distance.

From past experience, I knew as long as we were within the same city we'd never really be apart. In previous 'breaks', I'd always thought if I gave us a few months of no contact or at least physical contact, we'd get over most of the negative feelings. We had a way of pretending we hadn't said hurtful words or an explosive argument. For anyone else, those fights would've constituted a final break-up. For us, it'd simply been a cooling off period.

We'd dance around one other until one of us had capitulated in some way. I'd use Bob as an excuse, saying he missed her, or she'd ask if I could meet about a case. Everything that had led to the continuous break ups was once more pushed to the back of both of our minds, and we'd savor the time together until the next blow.

When I'd seen her dancing at the club several months after I'd left her apartment, I'd known immediately I'd been completely wrong about the distance. But it'd been too late. I'd already become too involved in the assignment. After that night, I'd started going back to Trenton less. I'd needed to prove to myself that the devil on my left wouldn't win out over the smart Joe on the right, who'd been screaming at me to stay the hell away and not approach her.

The only good thing from that night had been the confirmation she wasn't with Manoso. I'd been partially stunned by her reaction. It'd been more than what I was expecting. The hurt and anger in her eyes when I'd asked if she was with him had proved she'd felt the same about their relationship as I'd always assumed Manoso had. It was physical.

However, the knowledge I'd been right hadn't taken away the pain—not by a long shot.

Stephanie.

How could one person elicit so many different emotions in me? Most I liked to keep hidden away under lock and key. Some I had no issue throwing out into the open.

I'd always had some fascination with her since we were kids, but in the last few years I'd been lucky enough to turn that fascination into a relationship and fell in love with her. It wasn't always the best relationship, but, at the time, I'd have taken anything I could get from her.

Until Hawaii, and even then it'd taken me a while to grow the balls I'd needed to do what I'd felt had to be done. If she wanted Manoso—fine—have him. But she wasn't having me at the same time. I deserved better than the relationship we'd fallen into pattern with, and so did she.

I'd felt like a fucking fool the day I walked into their humble abode on the beach. It'd felt so good to punch him in the face, better than the alternative I'd wanted, which had been to strangle Stephanie.

Of course I'd never really lay a hand on her, but at that moment, it'd been all I could picture.

I hadn't even had a name to describe our relationship, so had I even had the right to be mad? Who was I kidding? Of course I'd had a right! We hadn't been exactly together, but we'd been more than just a booty call to one other as well.

Had I loved her? _Absolutely._

Did I still love her? _Hell yes._

Did I want to get over her? _Yup._

Was I close to it? _Not nearly._

Immediately when I'd seen her with Ranger together in Hawaii I'd known I didn't have her.

Stephanie was like a fish. I'd get her hooked on my line and start reeling her in, but as soon as she got real close, she'd find a way to squirm back out into the water—damaged from my hook and others along her journey.

After Hawaii, I'd known I couldn't do the back and forth business anymore. It was too damn exhausting.

She hadn't said or done anything to make me think the status of our relationship would ever change. Not that I had either, but my experience with Steph had always been she needed to come to any conclusion on her own. So I'd decided to pack up my tackle box and head on home—never to fish in that pond again.

There were days I regretted my decision, but then all the shit I'd felt from when I knew for a fact she'd been with Ranger made me remember why I'd done it. I could no longer block out the rumors or the predatory look in his eyes. He'd finally had captured his prey, and I couldn't be sure of how hard she'd really fought against him.

My fear was that she hadn't fought at all.

One thing that had given me satisfaction in Hawaii had been the fact she hadn't been wearing the goofy grin I loved—the one that said I'd treated her body to pleasure. What I'd seen instead of pleasure was fear and regret, and seeing it had made my well-known temper hit an all-time high.

Ranger _was_ a mercenary however, so I'd known there was no way, no matter how high dollar their skip may have been, that he'd been staying in a room with her free of charge.

The worst part was I _still _couldn't bring myself to hate the man. He wasn't my cup of tea, and you'd _never_ see us hanging out at the bar after work, but he'd assisted me on numerous cases. Not only that, but he'd kept Stephanie safe when I couldn't be there on more than one occasion.

Shit, fact is he was _still_ helping me. Somehow he and his team had ended up entangled in my current case, and the information they'd provided had been invaluable.

There I go—thinking too much again.

This is why I hated that the cargo case had slowed down so much. It gave me time to think about her—about us.

What could have been but never would be.

Running a hand through my hair, I noticed how long it'd gotten. Too bad I would look like shit with a buzzed head.

So why had she called? Did she miss me? Was it about the case? Was she in trouble?

Instinct told me she didn't have any information on the case. She would've spilled all the information she had on the voicemail. Probably she would've had to call back because she'd used up the space allotment.

Her voice was enough to undo me completely. When had I fallen so in love with her?

Bella said she'd split with her latest boyfriend. If my assumptions were correct and they usually were, it was that douche bag from her office. Did she expect me to be her rebound guy? I knew half the issue with our relationship had always been the comfort of it. That's why we'd never tried to change anything or work it out, because we'd both known we could always rely on the other.

Was she falling back on old habits now that she knew we were in the same city? I felt myself tensing with anger.

Fuck.

I needed another beer—probably a whole other case. Thank God for a good metabolism. It'd be at least another decade before I got a beer gut if I stopped working out.

Working out—good idea.

I went into my bedroom and changed into a pair of old sweats Steph had cut into shorts and a sleeveless shirt. She'd loved this combo, although she'd never said anything. It'd been in the way she'd slowly lick her lips that I'd known.

I needed to block out that image—fast. Part of me was growing hard, and it wasn't my arm or leg muscles.

That was another of my problems—my unintentional eight-month dry spell. I hadn't gone this long without 'activity' since I'd been a virgin! I'd gone on a few dates here and there, but it hadn't taken long to realize I wasn't a twenty-something kid looking for a frivolous night in bed any longer. I was looking long term, and so far no one had intrigued me enough to go beyond dinner or a coffee date. I didn't frequent bars when I was in Philadelphia or New York City. I _definitely_ wasn't looking for dregs of society like I'd find in a big city.

There'd been one woman I'd thought I could do a relationship with. She'd been beautiful—tall and slender, with striking eyes and a great personality. Thinking about her made me laugh now. Had I been a decade or so younger, she would've been the woman of my dreams, but not at this stage of my life. Unfortunately, she hadn't shown all her cards at once either, but when she'd finally shown them, it'd been a wave of relief.

She'd wanted me to be her one and only—in Trenton, but not her one and only when she went to another city. Worse yet, she hadn't been just into men. God, I was so glad we'd both been too busy to '_get busy'_.

Grabbing a hand towel from the closet and my personal pistol, I walked to the workout facility in my apartment complex. I'd forgotten what it was like to live in one. Too many people in such a small area had me constantly on high alert. Apartment complexes were a habitat that bred dysfunction according to my past work as a beat cop. And that's the last thing I wanted to get caught up in.

I got on the treadmill furthest from the entrance, so I could keep an eye on who came in or out. Turning on my iPod, I cranked the volume up loud enough to blow out most people's eardrums. I didn't want to blow mine out, I simply wanted to blow out my thoughts of Stephanie.

_Of course_ the first song that came on had to be one of our mutual favorites.

_She was a fast machine; she kept her motor clean  
She was the best damn woman that I ever seen  
She had the sightless eyes telling me no lies  
Knocking me out with those American thighs_

_Taking more than her share  
Had me fighting for air  
She told me to come, but I was already there_

As much as I loved the song, I had to change it before the first chorus.

It'd reminded me too much of Stephanie and one of the times we'd been attempting to clean house together. We were blaring music since she'd claimed she cleaned better when she had music in the background.

I hadn't been able to get much done. I'd been too mesmerized by the sight of her. She'd had a rag in hand and was dancing around the room, singing along with every song. She'd been in the middle of a twirl when her eyes had locked with mine, and she'd realized I was watching her. She'd let out an embarrassed giggle and any thoughts of cleaning house had gone out the window—replaced with thoughts of our bodies together. I'd been in front of her within moments, and I hadn't been able to keep my lips away from hers.

The only cleaning we'd ended up getting done that day had been our bodies.

How I missed that now.

Usually the case I was working on kept my mind too busy to think of her. I'd found myself here in this gym or at the main gym in the city more often since the case had slowed down, because my mind would run rampant with thoughts of her. This was my way of escaping them. I wanted to punch something, because I always winded up thinking the same things. I hated not having the answers.

What was she doing?

Was she happier without me?

Was she sleeping with that guy and was he pleasing her like I could? _Yeah right!_

Had she run into any trouble? _The thought made my gut clench._

Was she safe?

Could she trust the people around her?

Had she made new friends? _No doubt she had; she drew people in without realizing it._

Mostly I thought about if she missed me as much as I missed her.

So why had I broken things off with her?

Hearing her voice today had made all my answers seem as though they weren't good enough.

The day I'd seen her at her office had been like an explosion my body couldn't take. I'd been in no way prepared to see her bright blue eyes and sexy hair. It'd grown longer and seemed tamer, but I had a feeling in the morning it was as wild as ever and that's when I liked it the most. Sleepy Steph was sexy Steph.

What had she been up to the last eight months? Obviously she'd been busy with _Alexander MacLaine_. I let out a snort and felt slightly embarrassed, until I remembered I was the only one in the workout room.

What did she see in that guy? I could've sworn_ she'd_ made a comment the night I first saw them together dancing. To my silent question she'd said no, but _was_ he the reason she'd moved here? Why was she in the same city as me? Was it because of _me_ she'd moved here?

I couldn't escape her for the life of me. Picking up my pace on the treadmill, I tried harder to run from my thoughts of her. I realized I was going at the top speed and switched over to weights, the best way to blow out my frustration.

_Focus on the case_.

What was there to focus on? It'd started as high-end store robberies. It'd progressed to loaded trucks. Somehow, whoever was doing it, had penetrated the shipments when they were sitting on the docks. The only way we could connect all the robberies was because they would leave an orange slash of spray paint on whatever they hit.

I couldn't believe it when I'd learned Stephanie was my contact at Macy's—out of all the people in the world. Of course I'd had to meet with the linens purchaser that same day, but like Steph, I hadn't heard anything from her either. By now, I was figuring my hunch that there was a person on the inside was wrong. I didn't have the 'spidey sense' that Steph did, or at least not as strong as hers seemed.

Setting down the dumbbell I was using, I suddenly realized I'd let another hour pass, and I had an early day tomorrow. The only benefit of this case was not being pulled out of bed at all hours of the night. When I went back to homicide, it'd be a tough change. Unfortunately, I still wasn't getting a solid eight hours; but at least I was in my bed for it. I may have been without Stephanie—at least her body—but she was never far from my mind.

Walking into the apartment, I locked the door, let out a breath and thumped my head against the door.

Why was life so frustrating?

I went into the bedroom and peeled off my clothes. Drenched in sweat, I climbed into the shower. My sore muscles welcomed the heat from the spray, and I let the water run until it was cold and lay in bed.

If I lay there long enough, eventually sleep would come, along with my usual thoughts of Stephanie. This time I could add the debate of whether to call her back or not.

I wanted to hear her voice. Her laugh. Her smile.

Then again, I didn't. I wasn't sure if I could handle hearing her voice without asking her to come over or giving in to whatever she needed.

When I thought I had come to my conclusion, I rolled over to get my cell phone. Then I saw the time.

1:17 AM

_Shit. Too late._

* * *

**Stephanie's POV **

Monday night I was sitting on the couch eating the last piece of pineapple upside down cake my mom had sent me home with. No one could make it like her. I'd tried, and it'd sucked. I'd leave the baking to her from now on. Probably I'd start going back home more regularly just to get my cake.

Oh, how I'd missed the taste!

I'd been blankly staring at the TV for the last hour and a half, not really taking in anything being said. It was a comedy, because everyone on screen was laughing. Not me. I was lonely and alone. No girls to run around, screaming and laughing. No sister to get on my case or to take my thoughts away from myself.

I kept flicking my eyes back and forth from the TV screen to my cell phone on the coffee table.

I'd spent all day wishing time would go by faster, only to find it made it go that much slower. I did all the work expected of me, and it all seemed even more mundane than usual after my weekend home and assisting Lula.

My phone rang, and I jumped. Not sure exactly why, considering I _was_ expecting a call.

I stared at my phone for long moments. My brain was screaming at me to pick it up, but my body didn't move. Finally, all neurons were firing at the same time, and I reached for it, not even looking at the read out before I answered.

"Hello?"

"Hey Steph." The cheery voice belonged to Val. I was so glad to hear her happy again. Sad Valarie is the worst. Saint Valarie suits her much better.

"Hey Val."

"Were you expecting a call? You sound disappointed."

"Kind of. What's up? Everything okay?"

"Yes!" she exclaimed, "and I have you to thank for it."

"You already have," I reminder her, and she had. She'd called to thank me on the drive home and when she'd arrived at her house.

"I know, but I just don't think it's enough. You housed me and my girls, and we weren't easy to live with."

"I've told you before, Val, it wasn't a problem."

"And I wanted to check in with you. I heard about Alex. You may not want my opinion, but you know you're going to get it. I'm happy it happened."

"Oddly enough, so am I." I let out a harsh laugh.

"So you aren't wallowing in your sorrows over him?"

I laughed, "Not him, no, but I do miss you guys."

"We miss you too."

"Okay, well, don't forget we have the season passes to the zoo if you want to come back up," I offered.

What a dope I'd been!

Since when had I let anyone change me? Isn't that what I'd been fighting against my entire life? I guess it said something about one of the promises I'd made to myself. I just might have taken the whole 'make a decision and stick to it' thing a little overboard.

I should've taken everyone's advice right away, but no, my stubborn-self had failed to see I couldn't force what I _thought_ I'd needed.

As soon as I'd gotten home from Trenton, I'd done what I'd told myself I was going to do and called Joe on Monday night. I couldn't have been any more disappointed than when it went to his voicemail, that is until I finally went to bed a one thirty in the morning still waiting for him to call.

I cried myself to sleep _again_.

Why hadn't he called me back? It _had_ to have been because he didn't want to talk to me. The thought sent me into another crying spiral.

The following morning instead of wallowing in pity I put on a bright smile and got on with the day. I couldn't let this job end up like bounty hunting where I'd let everything interfere with my goals.

I was in the middle of finalizing my presentation for Nine West when Dave, my assistant, came in looking very apprehensive.

He stood in the doorway, and I waited for him to speak. He took what looked like a calming breath and said, "So you know how I was talking about going back to school?"

"I thought you signed for classes months ago. Is there a problem?" I asked, wondering if we needed to change his schedule.

"No," and he went from apprehensive to vibrating with excitement. "It's anything but!"

I looked up from my paperwork and waited for him to continue, doing the 'go on' motion with my hands.

"They got me an internship at Kenneth Cole!" he exclaimed.

"Omigosh! That is so great Dave!" I was excited for him, knowing how long he'd dreamed of working for one of his favorite designers. Then I realized where Kenneth Cole was and what that meant for our friendship and me. Not that we were exceptionally close, but we'd worked really well together, and he'd been able to get me through some really tough days.

"Jeez lady, haven't I told you to wipe that sadness off your face enough lately?" he asked fiercely.

"I know, I know—I'm sorry. I really am happy for you, but how much longer does that mean I get you for?"

"Until the end of next month, so no more pouting. Got it?" he scolded me like a child, but I knew he was joking.

I needed a good joke.

"Okay, now get your ass over here and help me with this thing. I'm going to work your tail off until you leave, so you don't miss me. You'll remember me as the boss from hell."

"Ha! I love when this Stephanie comes out in you," he grinned, and we got to work on the task at hand.

"Why are you so anxious, Steph? And why aren't you picking up your calls?"

I looked up at him since he was standing over me.

"Don't try and deny anything, lady. You know me, and I know you. You can't hide whatever your feeling."

"I don't know what you're talking about. I just want this day to be over."

"Hot date with Alex?" he guessed with amusement in his eyes.

I snorted. "Nope, he's at the regional meeting, remember? Anyway, he's whom I've been avoiding." I ignored his look of shock, "I just want to go home and put on my comfy clothes and relax."

"You _have_ to tell me! I thought you guys—"

"Nope, not saying anything. I don't want any more shit going around the office about me. You'll have to wait until I'm good and ready to talk about it. I expect you to keep your mouth shut, Mister." I said, leaving no room for argument.

"Fine, but you better not make me wait too long."

I shook my head at him and continued on with my work.

I'd been steadily sending Alex's calls to voicemail since I'd left him in Trenton. Granted, it'd only been two days. I still had another four days to worry about him coming back into town. I'd listened to the first few voicemails he'd left, because I'd been curious if he was as creative as Dickie had been with excuses. He wasn't—at all. Instead he'd done the standard, _'It wasn't what it looked like'_.

Bullshit.

Then he'd turned into angry Alex, the one I'd become more accustomed to recently.

_If you don't answer your phone, you'll be answering to me when I get there. _

Truly it didn't matter what excuse he used because just like with Dickie, there was _no way _I was going back to him.

He was supposed to be in meetings. How was he finding the time to call me every couple of hours?

Finally having had enough, I called both my cell and home phone companies and had them block all of his numbers. I also went ahead and asked the receptionist in the lobby to screen my calls. If it was Alex, she was to put him through to my voicemail, so I could immediately delete the message. She'd sounded perplexed, but I refused to reveal any further information.

If I kept ignoring him, surely he'd get the hint.

And then it hit me.

Was Joe ignoring me in hopes _I_ would get the hint?

I'd let him make the decision we were no longer going to be a couple. Damn it, he wasn't in charge of deciding if we could be friends!

I was going to call him as soon as I got home.

Immediately after walking in the door after work, I dropped my bag in the kitchen. I got myself a beer and took a decent pull before going back into the fridge and fishing out a carrot and raisin for Rex.

I was going to try for a friendship with Joe. I would try my best not to force him, but I wasn't making any guarantees I wouldn't leave him alone easily.

I paced the kitchen and then the living room for over an hour before finally picking up the phone and dialing his cell. Like last time, I held my breath.

I let it ring four times and was getting ready to hang up when he answered.

"Morelli."

_Remember to breathe._

"Joe? Joe, it's Steph," I said with a slightly shaky voice.

"Cup—Steph? Stephanie? Are you alright?" his voice sounding slightly urgent.

My breath caught, hearing him almost call me by my nickname. Ever since we'd been apart, I'd developed a new appreciation for hearing it. Why had he stopped and switched to my name?

"Yeah, I'm fine. Sorry about that. Um, how are you?" I asked and heard him blow out a breath as well, realizing I wasn't in any trouble.

"Good." He paused, and I waited for more to come.

"Uh, I was wondering if you wanted to hang out?" I finally questioned when he didn't said anything more.


	8. Chapter 8

Thank you to Carol and Julie! Your unending support throughout is genuinely appreciated. You both are amazing people that I am lucky enough to call friends. Again, I am so very grateful for you! It means SO much. I went back and looked at what I originally had in store for this story and because of you both it is well beyond the six lousy chapters I had outlined and partially written!

I'm stealing lyrics again. This time they belong to _Boyz II Men, 4 Seasons of Loneliness_ . It just fit. As for the characters, all the usual suspects belong to JE.

Thank you everyone reviewing. It's nice to hear your thoughts and I hope I've replied to everyone that has. To anyone that has their PM turned off: THANK YOU TOO

Also, I want to note I am not a medical expert; I'm going out on a limb with a few things I've said.

Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 8**

**Steph's POV**

I opened my office door and went out to where all the assistants' cubicles were.

"Knock, knock," I said, lightly patting my fist on the cloth and particleboard that made Dave's office.

"Hey, Sweet Tart."

"Sweet Tart? Really?"

"Yeah, you're sweet and tarty at the same time."

"Uh huh—were you able to get that report done?"

Dave rolled his eyes at me but nothing like a full-blooded, Jersey girl. "Yeah, of course I was. Here is the report, and here are your messages," he said, handing me a manila folder and a stack of pink slips.

I started going through the thirty-two messages that had come through while I'd been on an hour and a half conference call.

"You can't be serious?" I said in disbelief.

"Oh yeah, deadly serious," Dave said. "Alesha said he demanded to be put through to you. Since you were on your call, she transferred all his calls to me."

"Shit."

"Agreed. Marisa called as well."

"I was supposed to call her yesterday and completely forgot!"

"That's what she said too. She indicated you can make it up to her by taking her out to lunch today, and seeing as I had to deal with all those calls from Alex, you'll be taking me too."

"Fine. Let me call her back and get this report ready to be sent out."

"Don't I get a say in where we're going?" Dave asked as I turned to leave.

"Not if you want a free lunch."

I called Marisa, and we decided to meet at a bistro down the street from my office.

"I miss driving down here," she cried, giving Dave and me both hugs. "I think I miss working!"

"No, you don't. You're just tired of changing diapers," Dave told her as we took our seats.

"Well, there _is _that. But I haven't been working in almost six months. I don't know what I was thinking taking a year off."

"Probably you were thinking about how you hadn't taken a single day of vacation or sick leave other than when the kids had been sick," I commented.

"Yeah, you're probably right. But now I miss getting out of the house every day and feeling like I'm getting something done. Love my kids, but sometimes I just want a little more to the day."

"I thought you were working on an at-home, Summer school thing? Group projects and activities?" I said, remembering our phone conversation from a few weeks ago.

"I've been doing that, but I think the older kids need interaction with others their age. Besides, Sophia isn't breast-feeding anymore."

"That's gotta be good," Dave pointed out.

"Yes and no. Maybe that's the problem. Sophia no longer requires me to be at her beck and call, so I need to feel needed somewhere else."

She'd said it in a joking way, but I knew there was some truth behind her statement.

"Anyway, how is your grandma?" she asked me.

"She's okay. I saw a few glimpses of her _normal_ self when I was home, but she was napping more than before I moved here."

"And they still don't know what's wrong with her?"

"No, isn't that odd? She's going in for one more round of blood work on Friday. At least that's what they're saying. Next week they're supposed to give her the results and then make a plan of action."

"There's got to be more to it than what your mom told you. You should go down there for the results. That way you know what's _really _going on."

"I've thought about it. Actually I thought about taking the entire week off, but then I would have to call Alex for permission, and that is_ so_ not happening right now."

"You're going to have to face him eventually. I can talk to him for you. You do have vacation time; it was in your contract," Marisa chastised me.

"I'm all too aware I'm going to have to face him. He _is_ my boss," I snapped back.

"Alright, you've held out long enough. I want to know what happened. The way you've been avoiding him like the plague indicates this wasn't a normal breakup," Dave spouted through his sandwich.

I rolled my eyes. _When had I ever had a 'normal' breakup?_

"I second that. You've told me very little, and I'm a details kind of girl," Marisa chirped.

I know I'd done my fair share of gossiping in the past, and although I wouldn't say I regret it now (It was the way I'd been raised after all.), I didn't want to be included in anyone else's lunch chatter either. I knew I had to set some boundaries and keep some information to myself, which I normally wouldn't do considering I was talking with friends.

"You have to _promise_ this stays between us. I mean it—this is your boss we're talking about." I told both Dave and Marisa.

After a chorus of "Uh huh's", I let them know what had transpired at my parent's house and then finding Alex in a very intimate lip lock with another woman.

"So what happened after that?" Dave asked.

"Nothing." I answered, taking a large bite out of my turkey club.

"What do you mean _nothing_? You didn't slap him? Or—I don't know—punch the girl?" Marisa marveled.

"Nope, I told him to find his own way to the airport. I've avoided his calls ever since."

"I didn't peg him as a cheater," Dave mused aloud.

"Yeah, well, I hadn't pegged him for a lot of things he was," I retorted.

"What am I supposed to tell people when they ask then?" Dave wondered, surely thinking of everyone that relied on his daily line of 'news'.

"Gee, Dave thanks for the support. Could you be a little less worried about what people want to know and a little more concerned over how I'm going to deal with this mess I caused?" I asked sarcastically, my eyes nothing but little slits.

_The audacity of people!_

"How did you cause this Steph? From what you've told me, this was a metamorphosis of sorts for Alex. I knew he was a perfectionist at work but I never would've thought he'd be so controlling," Marisa said, "If anyone should take the blame it should be me. I set you guys up."

"No, I willingly stayed when I saw the signs of him changing. At first the changes weren't big, I thought, 'oh a gift, oh an outfit, oh he prefers the smell of _that_ perfume'."

My fists were balled at my sides as if the tighter my grip was the tighter I could hold onto my emotions.

"It's like I realized how bad it was all at once when I was packing to go to Trenton. I missed the smell of my usual Dolce Vida. I looked at my clothes and asked myself who the hell do _these_ _things _belong to?"

By the looks on Marisa's and Dave's faces, I think I may have let out a deep growl.

I continued on, no longer having the ability to control all that was pouring out of me, "And the way he treated me in front of my friends and parents? His voice was so full of disappointment—like my family and friends weren't good enough. Worse yet, like _I_ wasn't good enough forhim."

I almost couldn't control the rage I felt at how he'd treated the people I've known and loved for so long.

"Calm down, Steph. The relationship is over. You don't have to deal with it anymore," Dave soothed, lightly rubbing my back.

"I don't have to deal with the relationship part anymore, but he's still my boss. Shit!" I rasped out. "Why did I let myself be so manipulated?"

"Everybody knows a broken heart is blind," he comforted.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I questioned with a furrowed brow.

"Well, from what I've heard, you weren't the type of person to take anything from _anybody_. Your heart got broken, so you moved here and turned a blind eye to Alex's crap, because you thought he could fix your heart. I've heard the saying before, but it never really suited a situation more than now."

I didn't want to think too hard on how right Dave was. Knowing he had to leave, I turned the conversation back on track.

"You can say we broke up," I told him. "It wasn't working out, something along those lines—but no details, please. I shouldn't have told you anyway."

I was regretting having told Dave anything other than what I was asking him to tell people. I could only hope he would do as I'd requested.

He nodded his acceptance and gathered up his trash. "I'm heading back to the office. You take your time here. I have a lot to do if you're taking next week off. It's almost the beginning of the month, so that means meetings and reports up the wazoo."

"I appreciate the help. I'm still not sure if it's going to happen though."

"I have a sure fire plan, Steph. Of course it's going to happen," Marisa told me, trying to be a bright spot in my dark room. "You better start packing your bags."

I stood to leave. "If you say so."

"You're not leaving yet are you?" she asked, grabbing my wrist.

"I was—but if you have something better planned?"

"Stay here, Sweet Tart. I can hold down the fort for a while. You're next meeting isn't for another three hours," Dave indicated, after looking at his watch.

"You're sure?" When he nodded, I continued. "And you'll keep in mind what I asked of you?"

"Sir, yes, sir—I mean ma'am," he mocked.

"You can go back to Sweet Tart if ma'am is your alternative. Please do as I asked?" I warned.

"I will. I promise," he said with sincerity and left for the office.

As the bell sounded above the door signaling Dave's leave, Marisa started in with a whole new set of questions.

"So, did you and Joe hang out yet?"

_This new conversation was already heading in a direction I didn't want. _I let out a giant huff of air. Why did everyone want to talk about the things I _didn't_ want to talk about?

"Nope." I said, taking an extra-large bite out of my sandwich, hoping in the time it took me to chew she would find another subject.

"When did you make plans for then?" she pushed some more.

"We didn't. He's busy with his case. He said maybe some other time." I let out another exasperated sigh.

All the disappointment I'd felt from that conversation came over me. I wasn't buying his line of being 'too busy with the case'. His 'maybe some other time' hadn't sounded all that promising either. I'd hated not being able to see his face when I asked. I could've read so much more into what he'd said. Did he have a girlfriend, or was I just too much to handle even as a friend?

"Really?" she questioned disappointedly.

"Really."

I rolled my eyes, and Marisa shook her head at me.

"Are you going to talk to Alex for me?" I asked again. "I'd love to have next week off. He's coming back, and I think just a little more time away from one another wouldn't hurt."

"Yes, I'll talk to him. Don't forget about my barbeque next weekend though."

"Well, if I'm in Trenton—"

"You'll be back by then. You told me you were going to the zoo with a friend and her kids, right?" She'd effectively cut me off. "Even if you don't, it's on Sunday so you'll have to be back to get ready for the week."

"I'll see what I can do." I'd had no intention of going to the barbeque until she'd continued and squashed any more potential excuses.

"Alex isn't coming," she promised. "He let me know earlier this week. Invite your friend and her kids and _be_ there."

"The boys will probably be tired," I replied, trying to find another reason not to be social.

"Not if they're anything like mine. Stop dodging, Steph."

She waited for my response, and when I still hadn't given in, she added, "Please."

I sighed and finally relented. "I'll be there, and I'll let you know about Mary Lou and company."

She gave me a hearty smile. "Her kids are around Jason's and Danny's ages, aren't they? My kids need an energy outlet to stay out of trouble. Maybe they could provide that for me."

I nodded in understanding. I used to drive my mother _nuts_ on summer vacations. That's where I'd typically found myself getting into heaps of trouble.

Flashes of summer vacations spent with Mary Lou, playing with dolls and riding bikes, wreaking havoc on the neighborhood and being our crazy selves came to mind. Those memories gave way to more flashbacks no parent would want their child to spend time doing—hiding behind the bushes and awkwardly learning how to kiss with Carl Costanza; trying to fly off the roof repeatedly without success and finding myself alone in the Morelli garage with Joe. What an enlightening experience that had been! As much of a hard time I'd given him in the past over that incident, it was a memory I cherished solely because Joe had been in it.

Those memories were just when I'd been a little kid. The teenage years had been spent doing much worse. Mary Lou and I had caused havoc with cars instead of bikes, finding older kids and making them buy us alcohol or stupidly trying out smoking. I'd gone on double dates with Mary Lou, Lenny and any number of random boys. And then doing _more than_ kissing with said boys. Of course, all of that paled in comparison to what I'd done with Joe at the Tasty Pastry. Now _there _was a memory!

I was beginning to see the importance of keeping your kids occupied and out of trouble. If I ever had kids, I'd never allow them a free moment to breathe when they were out of school!

I was also beginning to see how Joe had played a huge role in every stage of my life whether I'd liked it or not. Sadly I remembered he was no longer interested in sharing _this_ stage of my life—and right when I was finally getting my act together too! Truthfully, it'd been his decision to not be a part of my life anymore that'd made me get my act together.

Marisa snapped me out of my musing before I could bring myself down too much further.

"What are you going to do when you can't hide from Alex anymore? You're lucky that conference lasts the whole week."

"I don't know," I replied. "I'm honestly scared."

"Clarify that one for me, will ya? Why are you scared?" she asked. Her lips were pursed around the straw of her drink.

"Well, I told you I blocked his numbers. I wonder how angry he's going to be when he gets back, because I've refused his calls. Do you think he'll be able to keep his cool at work?"

"Like you said, you didn't think he was the man he turned out to be, so I can't really say. I've never seen him angry before. He's always been so care free."

"I know what you mean. That's one of the things that drew me to him, but it didn't last long. If only I'd run sooner when I saw it disappearing." I shook my head at my own stupidity once again.

"So he was über controlling. He didn't hit you, did he?" she asked, reaching her hand out to mine and giving it a slight squeeze.

"No, thank God! I knew going in we may not work out, but I didn't foresee an ending like this."

Marisa let out a breath of air. "I'm so sorry you're going through this, Stephanie. If I can get you the time off, I'll try and read him better. Hopefully, I'll be able to let you know what you may be coming back to. I never would've thought he was like this. He obviously has _some_ control over his emotions if he was able to hide this side of him for all the years I've known him."

"I think that's what has me most scared. He only had _one_ serious relationship before me! Maybe now I know why."

"At least you didn't give him a key to your house like he was asking for." She paused to think about that for a moment. "You didn't, did you?"

I vigorously shook my head. "No, I kept telling him Val had my other set, and I was too lazy to get another one made. Thank goodness for being lazy."

"No kidding," she snorted. "I don't know what you were thinking. Why didn't you tell me he was so bad? You only gave me a very small glimpse as to how he was." Her face reflected a mixture of sincerity and anger.

"Because I was ashamed, in denial, convinced I could change or he would. Pick one. Better yet, choose the combo pack."

I shook my head with frustration and continued on, "I just wanted that feeling again. You know, the one where you feel complete when you're with a person and so stupidly full of love you make everyone around you want to throw up."

"When did you become the soft, romantic type?" Marisa joked, trying her best to lighten the mood.

"Probably the day Joe walked out the door, and left me feeling suffocated by the emptiness," I confessed seriously.

"Enough of this," she reprimanded. "You can't go back to work on the verge of tears. I'll call Alex tonight and let you know what happens."

"Good luck," I offered. I had a feeling Alex wouldn't want me out of the area as soon as he came back. "Call me immediately after you hang up with him please. Even if it's bad."

"I will. I really am sorry, Steph. I'll be honest and say I was so blindsided by what you were saying I wasn't really taking it as seriously as I should have. But after Dave said he'd left all those messages—" I could tell she was feeling responsible.

"It's okay. Neither one of us knew what was going to happen." I said reassuringly.

I was standing in my kitchen pondering what to have for dinner when Marisa called.

"Have a good week off!" she exclaimed.

A smile spread across my face, and I tapped Rex's cage to share the news. "You hear that buddy? We're going to see Grandmom and Grandpop again."

Addressing Marissa again, I continued, "How did you do it?"

"I told him you had a family emergency. I may have brought up the Family and Medical Leave Act and how he could get into trouble if he tried to deny you time off. And—I agreed to work for you since it's end of month time."

"You what? You didn't!" I didn't give Marisa a chance to answer, because I soon rushed on, "Do you think he suspects anything? I mean, it's not like I _need _a leave of absence to be with family, because I do—but you know—I also want to distance myself from him a little longer."

"No, not really. He sounded stressed—maybe even a little angry. I waited for the questions about you, but they never came." She laughed. "Of course, that could've been because I'd threatened him."

"Thanks, Marisa," I breathed in relief. "I owe you."

* * *

"Yes Mom! I know—I will! We go through this every time. I'm leaving in twenty minutes. If you don't let me off the phone, I'll never be able to show up. Yes, I'll pick up lunch. Are you sure that's what you want? Yeah, it feels like forever since I've eaten there too. Okay. Yes. Love you too. Bye, Mom."

It was Saturday morning, and I was running around grabbing all the last minute things I'd need for a week away from my home in Philadelphia—toothbrush, toothpaste, hair stuff. My mother had called to make sure I drove safely and to buckle up. She also wanted to make sure I'd call her if I ran into traffic, so she wouldn't have to resort to calling the hospitals when I didn't show up exactly on time.

I had long come to the conclusion that some things would never change; such as my mother making sure I was safe. I also knew I'd always be able count on her being on the porch when I arrived. As long as I didn't have a 'date' waiting for me at the dinner table, I could deal with everything else. After the Dave Brewer fiasco, she'd finally stopped trying to set me up. I'd always thought it was Joe she wanted me to marry, but now I realized she just wanted me to _marry_.

Not long after I moved away, we'd had a conversation that set both of us straight. That conversation may very well have been the turning point in our relationship. She explained where she was coming from—thinking that marriage automatically brought happiness, and I explained my side. _My_ previous marriage hadn't brought happiness. Because of that, I was freaking afraid, but eventually I could maybe—with the right person—see it happening for me again.

Of course that right person had now left me.

I'd just picked up the lunch order my mom had called in earlier, when my cell rang.

"Stephanie Plum." I answered. My hands were too full to bother looking at the readout.

"Learn some phone etiquette while you were away, Babe?" I could hear playfulness in Ranger's voice. Not flirting—just Ranger humor.

"Yeah, 'yo' wasn't very appropriate for my clientele," I joked.

"I may have to take your approach." He laughed.

Hmmm, laughing from Ranger. Things had _definitely_ changed since I'd moved.

"Heard you were in town."

"What! I haven't been here for ten minutes." _Was he tracking me again?_

"You are at _Pino's_ in the _Burg _on a _Saturday_, aren't you?"

"Touché."

I guess he wasn't tracking me. Leave it to the Burg. None of my usual cop friends were even here that I could see. I looked to my left and saw Hector and another Rangeman employee I'd never met eating lunch. Tipping up one of the fingers holding my phone, I sent them a finger wave.

"You were just home last week. Is everything okay?" he asked

"Yeah, I just wanted to get away from the job for a little bit."

Only half the reason, but Ranger didn't need to know more. Even if we'd established ourselves on friendly ground, I had no doubt if he knew I was even slightly afraid of an ex-boyfriend, he'd be off to take care of the situation.

"You don't like it?"

"I do—it's just I don't feel like I'm doing anything, and I sit at a desk _all_ day. I mean, I'm doing something. It's just not helping anyone."

"Perfect segue. Since I already know what you're having for lunch today, how about you meet up with me tomorrow if you're still in town. I may have an opportunity for you."

_An opportunity for me? _Now _there _was something to think about.

Did I want to put myself into a situation with Ranger that could start innocently and then somehow change to _not so_ innocent? Been there done that and with a well-traveled road blocked with cement barriers as far as I was concerned.

Did I trust Ranger to keep the chemistry between us friendly? Did I really want to lose a friend that had helped me on too many occasions? There was only one way to find out if we could keep a friendship going. And I knew if he did try to put the moves on me, I wouldn't allow our lunch or anything else between us to go any further.

"I'll be here all week, but I'm busy tomorrow. Grandma has an appointment one day I want to go to also. Let me find out when it is and get back to you. Is there a day or time that works best for you?"

"You know my schedule is always open for you. Just give me a call when you know."

I went to say, "okay," but my phone beeped, signaling the line was dead. Clearly, Ranger _could_ be counted on for certain things just like my mother. It was good to know he hadn't completely changed.

* * *

The weekend flew by with lightening speed. Mostly I spent my time lounging around my mom's house. I learned Grandma's doctor's appointment wasn't until the following Friday, so the rest of the week was wide open. Monday, I went shopping with my mom for new curtains and took Grandma to a viewing. Well, I dropped her off and sat in the car while she was inside. I wished I'd been smart enough in the past to do this.

Tuesday I had a picnic lunch with Valarie and my three nieces. Val confided to me that as soon as their financial situation was stabilized, she and Albert were going to try for a baby boy. I couldn't help but tease she was going to end up with nothing but girls, but I was excited for another niece or nephew. She, of course, let me know _someone_ needed to provide my father with a grandson.

Our teasing had ended after that comment. I'd simply walked away without responding and had pushed Lisa on a swing for our remaining time together. I hadn't let anyone in on the fact I was feeling the urge to have a baby, so I couldn't be mad at Val. Still her comment had hurt.

Lula had called on Wednesday to let me know she'd saved four really easy skips for me to take down with her. I couldn't deny my wanting to be there, so we'd had a blast all day together.

Today was Thursday, and I was scheduled to meet with Ranger at Pino's. I'd barely slept the night before from nerves. I had no idea what his reasons were for wanting to meet, and I was more than a little anxious.

When I arrived at Pino's, it was to find Ranger already sitting in one of the back booths.

"Babe," he said by way of greeting.

"Hey Ranger."

"I already ordered for you," he admitted, giving me a slight grin.

I went to open my mouth, and he gave me a bigger smile, already anticipating my reaction.

"No, I didn't order you salad. Sub. Meatball." His smile faded, and he grimaced, shaking his head.

"Thank you."

I wasn't sure what else to say. Usually when Ranger had an agenda, he broached it in his own timeframe.

"Looks like your fan club found you," he observed, jerking his head beyond me.

I turned to look, and there were my second favorite set of cops—Carl and Big Dog.

"Hey!" I greeted them.

"You miss me already, Steph?" Carl laughed and pulled me out of the booth for a hug. Both Carl and Big Dog gave some silent form of acknowledgement to Ranger as well.

"You know it. Just can't stay away from you," I quipped.

He winked at me, and Big Dog joked, "His girlfriend isn't going to like that too much, ya know."

"Carl has a girlfriend?" I lifted an eyebrow.

Carl Smiled. "For two weeks now."

"Sounds _pretty_ serious then." I nudged him with my elbow. "We'll have to keep our meetings on the down low here a Pino's."

Everyone—even Ranger—snorted out a laugh.

The waitress was delivering our food. Carl and Big Dog said their goodbyes, and I slid back into the booth.

"I'm a little insulted, Babe," Ranger said, mixing his salad with grilled chicken. His food tastes went well with most of Philadelphia's food—gross.

"Why's that?" I wondered carelessly, putting my napkin on my lap. My eyes never wavered from my sub and fries.

"Usually when you're around me, you're drooling because of me. Apparently I'm no longer competition for a sub."

I smiled meekly and shrugged my shoulder. "Sorry, things change. Plus Philadelphia doesn't have food like _this_." I _almost _felt guilty and was about to apologize again, when I reminded myself it was good to have set boundaries.

Ranger lifted his glass. I thought he was just going to take a drink of water, but he clinked his glass against my Coke and said, "For the better."

I nodded in agreement. _What a relief!_ I felt an insurmountable amount of tension release from my body.

Taking a giant bite out of my sub, I tried my best not to get marinara and gooey cheese all over me. "So what's up? You said you wanted to talk?"

"Finish your sub. I don't want to you to miss out on anything I say, because you're distracted by a 'good' meal."

I laughed, and we finished our meals in comfortable silence.

"Dessert?" he questioned when the waitress came to refill our drinks.

I thought about it for a second and shook my head no. Never had I seen Ranger with such a sheer look of surprise, and it brought on a bout of uncontrollable giggling from me. Ranger just shook his head, while I fought to regain my composure.

"Sorry," I said waving my hand in front of my face, trying to calm down some more. I quickly swiped at the happy tears in my eyes.

When I'd finally regained control, he began, "You mentioned things change. Well, I have a business proposition for you."

Those words made me sit up straight. "_Okay_," I said tentatively.

"Rangeman is expanding," he said, looking straight at me. His all-business mode was firmly in place. "You know we've always done security."

"I still have a job in Philadelphia, and I'm not—"

He held up a hand. "Just listen for a minute. As you know, we've gone after a few missing person cases in the past, and we—Tank and I—were discussing opening a division of private investigation."

"What does that have to do with me?" I asked, completely perplexed.

"We need someone to lead the division—someone who is dedicated to the job and doesn't give up easily. Someone with great instincts I can trust."

"You want me to find someone for you?" I questioned, still not understanding.

He shook his head and smiled, "No, I want _you_ to be the leader."

"Me? I don't—what? You want me?"

Ranger chuckled. "Yeah—_you_. Tank and I both couldn't think of anyone better suited for the job. You're reliable and, most importantly, both of us trust you."

I just looked at him with the most dumbfounded expression.

"Since you've worked at Rangeman previously, you already know there are certain expectations. If you were to take the job, I'd need you to get training before I put you out in the field."

"Ranger, I don't know what to say," I said dazedly.

"Think about it. We're still finalizing everything, so you have time."

"Okay." I was still dumbfounded by his announcement.

Ranger put tip money on the table and got up, putting his windbreaker back on.

"Call me either way, Babe," he directed. Brushing a light kiss on my cheek, he headed for the door.

* * *

Friday morning brought Grandma Mazur's doctor's appointment. I'd tried arguing with her and my mother about going with them, but, in the end, they'd won. I stayed home—or so they thought. Apparently Grandma never even allowed my mother into the doctor's rooms, making her stay in the waiting room. This gave me reason to believe my mother really didn't know much more than I did.

As my mother and Grandma Mazur were gathering their purses, I found the keys to my mother's Buick and unlocked the doors with the remote from the kitchen window. Quickly fluffing my hair, I made a mad dash out to the car and slunk into the back seat, ducking down onto the floor. Both women were so involved in their conversation with one another they didn't even notice me when they got in.

We were about halfway to the doctor's office, when Grandma asked my mother if she would take her to the beauty parlor to get her hair dyed again. My mother responded 'yes', and I instinctively let out a loud groan. Hastily moving to cup my hand over my mouth, I used too much force and I accidentally slapped my face instead.

"Did you hear that?" my mother asked.

"Hear what? I didn't hear anything," Grand replied.

"Is there something in the backseat? I swear I heard a noise in the backseat," she insisted, her voice filled with anxiety.

I decided my cover was blown, so I popped my head up. Obviously I did it too fast, because my mother shrieked and almost ran us off the road.

"Stephanie Plum!" She yelled at me, pulling off to the side of the road. "I nearly killed us all!"

I could see her hands were shaking as she crossed herself. _Whoops!_

"What do you think you're doing?" she cried.

"Ha! You're always surprising people!" Grandma exclaimed. "It's what made you such a good bounty hunter. You were always keeping everyone on their toes."

Ignoring Grandma's comment, I spoke to my mom. "I'm joining you in the waiting room. I don't want you to sit alone."

I could see her glare in the rear view mirror, not buying my attempt at chivalry in the least. "It wouldn't be the first time I've sat alone. You're lucky I don't have a choice but to take you. I wouldn't want to be late to her appointment, because my _grown_ daughter couldn't listen, and I had to take her home."

At least she'd acknowledged I was grown.

We arrived at the doctor's office fifteen minutes early. As it typically went at a doctor's office, the three of us sat in suspended silence for an additional forty minutes, until grandma was finally called back. My mother and I both looked at each other and went back to reading our magazines that neither of us were really reading.

"Is it always like this?" I asked my mom.

"Like what?"

"Like this. You know—scary." I couldn't put into words my exact emotions, but feeling scared was one of them.

She shook her head. "No, I just have a feeling they're going to tell us something we don't want to hear."

"Did Grandma tell you they had news or something? I know she's had a lot of blood work done. Is she finding out the results?"

"No she didn't say anything like that. But I can tell the last few days she's been fighting to be herself and keep up pretenses."

I had to agree. I'd seen it as well. While she might have sounded and acted more like her usual self, I'd still seen the worry in her eyes.

Both of us went back to our magazines only lifting our heads when someone would go in or out of the door that led to the patient rooms in the back.

We'd been in the waiting room for a little over an hour when the nurse came back and called out, "Helen and Stephanie Plum."

Both our heads jerked up, and we looked at one another. I immediately saw my mom's hand start to shake. Wanting to be a source of comfort and needing it myself, I grabbed her hand, and we walked back to the room where the nurse led us.

"Oh don't look like you've seen a ghost, you two," Grandma sniffed. I could see she'd been crying at least a little, which made me even more scared.

My mother must have noticed it too, because she gave my hand a heartfelt squeeze.

"I'm Dr. Mullian," the physician said, shaking both of our hands. "Go ahead and take a seat."

He motioned toward three chairs set against the far wall. "Edna has let me know she hasn't told you what's been going on."

He looked at her and then returned his gaze toward my mother and me. Our grips, hands still entwined, were even tighter, "Edna had a lump in her breast."

I gasped, and my mother sucked in air. Chancing a look at Grandma, I saw her eyes were downcast and not looking at any of us.

"We were able to make it smaller through a few rounds of radiation. Thankfully, we were able to halt anymore growth as well."

He gave us all a moment to absorb what was being said before continuing, "At this point, I think our best course of action would be to operate and remove what is left of the mass."

"_Omigod_," I breathed, right before my mother let out a sob.

He gazed at my mother and me again. "Edna is in good health for her age. This would be a quick and easy procedure. The hardest part would be the recovery. We can go over that as soon as we get the schedule finalized. Edna has declined being sent to an outpatient recovery center, so her recovery would rest upon you. I need to know you'd be up to the task."

"Yes," I breathed, and my mother responded, "Of course."

"I'm going to send you up front to Natalie, our receptionist, who'll contact St. Francis, where the surgery will take place. They do have a backlog of surgery right now, so we're probably looking at about a two week wait time."

"Two weeks!" my mom belted out.

"I know it sounds like a long time, but with the medication her Oncologist prescribed, we don't foresee any further growth happening. Do you have any questions for me?"

We were all so stunned, none of us could think of a thing.

"Then if you'll excuse me, I'll get to my next patient."

After the doctor exited the room, the three of us sat there in silence.

I finally released my hand from my mother's grasp and walked over to Grandma Mazur, pulling her into a tight hug.

"If you squeeze me hard enough, I'll die from not being able to breath instead of cancer. Let me go," she ordered testily.

"Sorry," I mumbled and released her from my arms.

"Stop wallowing and get me to the salon. I've already missed my appointment, and, since I don't have to keep this a secret anymore, I've got to get the girls up to speed. With any luck, you won't have to cook for a year, Helen. There'll be so many casseroles you'll have to buy another freezer."

Leave it to Grandma to look for the positive in the midst of our anguish.

Saturday night, Mary Lou, Lenny and the boys met me at my parent's house for dinner. Afterward, we left for my house in Philly.

Driving down the freeway, with Mary Lou and her family in the van behind me, I was lost in my thoughts. Mostly, I thought about how Monday was going to go with Alex. We had the beginning of the month meeting planned, which meant I'd have to go in early and double check that everything necessary had been done in preparation. Of course with Marisa having been in charge, probably I was worrying needlessly. That reminded me I had only one month to find a new assistant-someone who'd work well not only with me but with Marisa as well upon her return.

I was so absorbed in my own world; I didn't see a brown van almost sideswipe me.

"What the—" I yelled, giving the driver my number one Italian hand gesture.

My heart had barely come down from the mild heart attack I'd experienced, when I realized what song was playing on my iPod plugged into the car's audio system. I hadn't really been paying attention to it for the last half hour. Now I heard the voices of Boyz II Men playing softly.

_I long for the warmth of days gone by; when you were mine  
but now those days are memories in time.  
Life's empty without you by my side.  
My heart belongs to you no matter what I try._

When I get courage up to love somebody new  
It always falls apart, cause they just can't compare to you  
Your love won't release me;  
I'm bound under ball and chain…

_Reminiscing our love as I watch four season's change_

I burst into tears. Could there have been a better song to describe my feelings _right then_?

"God, Joe, where are you?" I yelled to myself, almost as if I was hoping the louder I yelled, the greater the likelihood he'd come to me.

"I need you!"

The week had taken its toll. The reality of Grandma's situation and the job offer from Ranger—so much was weighing heavily upon me.

I feared my breakdown was just the beginning.

* * *

**Joe's POV**

"Manoso," I said after reading the Caller ID and picking up the phone. I wasn't too worried about what he thought of my phone manners, considering what he typically offered to phone conversations.

"Morelli."

There was a long pause. _He had called me, right?_

"I've got a lead on the next two hits. It's all high-end items from Taiwan. The first is going into Philly, and the second will be in Trenton."

"Do you have a copy of the manifests?" I asked.

"Not yet. I'm waiting for them to be faxed to Tank. Philly's is scheduled for delivery next month. On the fifth is when they're supposed to give clearance at the barge. I'm waiting for the rest of the information for Trenton."

"Well, we know how the system works. It could be weeks before it's actually loaded onto trucks."

"Yeah—It's all I have for now."

Ranger had become involved in my investigation, because one of the trucking companies he supplied security services for had been hit early on. Not only that, but his street contacts were better than mine. The Trenton Police Department was paying him a hefty fee. If it weren't for the case, I doubted Ranger or I would have willingly crossed paths within one hundred yards of each other. We were putting up with one another because we had no other choice right now. He needed me to bring down this cargo ring, so his business could continue to prosper. I needed his contacts—like now.

"I appreciate it."

"No problem." He paused for a moment. "Did you ever look into your suspicion?"

"Yeah, I did." I ran my fingers through my hair, shaking my head. "I don't think any of the people I contacted are resources for whoever these guys are."

"Let's see what's on the manifests and if there are any new players, or if they're going for the same items."

"You'll let me know when you get them, right?"

"Right," he confirmed. "It might not be a bad idea for you to give the purchasers a heads up. Maybe it'd help them be a little more alert to what people are saying."

I gave a grunt of acceptance.

With that, our conversation ended. Knowing I wouldn't get any sort of 'goodbye', I hit the end button at the same time I heard Ranger hang up.

_What the hell did she see in him_?

It was too late for questions, and I wasn't ready for the half-truths I'd get for answers I _was_ ready to hear her voice though.

Our conversation from earlier in the week came to mind.

"_Morelli."_

"_Joe? Joe, it's Steph." Her voice was shaky. _

_Was something wrong? Had she been in an accident? Had someone broken into her home or car? What was wrong?_

"_Cup—Steph? Stephanie? Are you alright?" I breathed out urgently. I had to know what was going on._

"_Yeah, I'm fine. Sorry about that. Um, how are you?" she asked, and I blew out the air I'd been holding while waiting for her response._

"_Good." Since nothing was wrong, what could she possibly need? All the thoughts I'd had a few nights ago came rushing back. _

"_Uh, I was wondering if you wanted to hang out?" _

_Shit, how should I respond? My heart and my lonely body were screaming, 'YES', but my brain was working at its highest pitch saying, NO!_

"_Joe? Are you still there? Did I lose you?" _

_What the fuck kind of question was that? Had she lost me? I didn't want to answer, because as much as I wanted to say yes, I couldn't do it—even though she wasn't using the phrase in the same context as I was._

"_No, you've still got me," I paused, letting my words sink into my brain. It was what my heart was feeling, but again my brain hadn't caught up. "But now's not the right time, Steph. I'm really busy with the case." _

_I was lying to her and hoped she couldn't tell over the phone. _

"_Uh, okay. Will you let me know when you have time?" she asked. I could hear the disappointment oozing out of her. _

_I needed a beer._

"_Yeah, I'll call you." _

_Eventually. _

_There was an awkard moment of silence again._

"_Okay. Night, Joe." She was trying to sound happy, but it wasn't working. _

"_Night, Cupcake."_

Shaking my head at my own stupidity, I hit the voicemail button and listened to the prompts, so I could hear her voice once more. Thank God voicemail wasn't left on tapes anymore. Mine would've been worn out with how much I'd listened to it in the last four days.

Ever since I'd denied her request to 'hang out', I'd kicked myself in the ass—much like I'd had mere weeks after I'd broken up with her. At least when I listened to her voicemail, she didn't know how much I was missing her.

* * *

I was sitting at a local dive waiting for my order of a beer and burger with Justin Smith, one of the investigators on my Philly team, when my cell rang. Neither of us minded getting the call. We were both hoping it would be a break in the case, and stale beer and microwave hamburgers weren't all that appealing anyway. Other than cheese steak, Philly didn't know what good food was.

Manoso.

He relayed that he'd received a copy of the shipping manifest. He'd faxed it over to the receptionist at the main Philadelphia police headquarters. Throwing enough money on to the table to cover my tab plus a good-sized tip, we took off for the precinct.

While Justin was busy flirting with Betsy, the front receptionist at the precinct, I scanned over the manifest.

"Fuck," I said more to myself than anyone else.

"What? What've you got?" Smith asked, ripping the document from my hand. Frustration laced his voice at my having broken his moment with the office floozy.

"If you know what's good for you, you'll hand that document back to me, Smith," I warned in a tone that booked no room for argument.

I'd never been known for working well with others, usually electing to work by myself on cases. Of course with this case I hadn't any choice. I was the leader of the pack, and my limits were tested daily by the men and women assigned to the case. It was as if they'd never learned to respect their elders, even those with decades on me.

"Sorry, sir. I just got excited."

His apology didn't need a response. I'd quickly learned that silence was the best way to treat these men.

"Most of this is from the same purchasing companies as last time."

"No word from any of them yet?"

I shook my head and went over my options. Ranger had a point about possibly giving out information to the purchasers I trusted. Unfortunately, there were only a few, and one of them was the person I'd been trying to avoid.

Stephanie.

"I'm taking this home. Do you want a copy?" I asked. "I'll be sending this over to New York and Trenton, so they have one for the next meeting too. My contact says it should be loaded onto a truck on the fifth. That's two days after we're scheduled to meet."

"Nah, it's okay. If I'm just going to have to go over it again in a week with everyone else, I don't need one."

Another problem with this crew—no initiative. No wonder we hadn't gotten anywhere.

* * *

I had debated long and hard if I wanted to follow through with seeing the purchasers, but in the end I found myself pulling into the Macy's Center City parking lot.

Hoping to bypass seeing_ Alex,_ I asked directly for Stephanie. She could then show me to the other two contacts I needed to see.

"One moment—I'll call her assistant," the pleasant enough receptionist spoke. "Your name, sir?"

"Detective Joe Morelli." I wondered if Steph would even see me, since I'd turned her down.

"Dave, her assistant, said she'll be right down."

"Thank you."

I went to take a seat in the lobby, but the elevator door rang almost immediately. Looking over, I saw it wasn't Stephanie, so I turned back around.

I heard mumbling, and, in my peripheral vision, saw the receptionist motion in my direction.

"Detective?" It was the blonde I'd seen walking off the elevator.

Standing up, I turned to face her. This must be Stephanie's assistant, although Dave was a pretty manly name for such a delicate looking woman. Extending my hand, I said, "Joe, please call me Joe."

She had a knowing look in her eyes, and they slightly glimmered as she took my hand. "Marisa Chance—I'm filling in while Stephanie is on vacation."

I tried to keep my sudden disappointment out of my voice. "Nice to meet you."

_Where had my disappointment come from?_ _Hadn't I been dreading this visit?_

"Follow me; I'll take you to my—uh—our office."

Once we made it into her office, she shut the door and motioned for me to take a seat.

"Let me finish sending off this email real fast, and my attention is all yours."

"Take your time," I replied. I took a look around the office. "This is Stephanie's office too?"

"Yes," she replied simply, obviously intent on finishing her task.

The office was more decorated then her apartment had ever been. There were pictures of her nieces and Valerie—even a few drawings from coloring books tacked to a corkboard. I shifted in the chair and caught a glimpse of a picture of Bob in a 6x8 photo frame on the desk, facing the computer.

She must miss him. _Did she miss me? Which one of us did she miss more?_

God, how I missed my mangy mutt. I was planning a trip to see my mother and to pick up Bob that upcoming weekend. I'd have to figure out something for him when travelled to New York, but he was used to living in an apartment from his time with Steph. All my furniture was cheap enough that I wouldn't care if he destroyed it.

"May I see that picture?" I asked Marisa, pointing toward the frame.

"This? Sure." She gave me an odd look, but handed it to me anyway.

_I couldn't believe it!_ Now I was _really_ glad Steph wasn't there, because of my shocked and saddened reaction to looking at the photo. Not only was there the picture of Bob, but also tucked in the right corner of the frame, was a strip of pictures of Steph and me. They were the tiny ones taken in a photo booth from when we'd attended the New Jersey State Fair about six months prior to her Hawaii trip.

One picture was of us kissing. Another showed us wearing goofy expressions. Still another had me licking her beautiful, scrunched-up face. The last one was my favorite, however, as we hadn't even expected it. I'd kissed her to shut up her whining after having licked her face, and out of habit, her hand had come up to caress my face. You could see my fingers wrapped around her neck, drawing her closer to me.

Looking at those pictures of us, it was clear how much I loved her. To my surprise, I could see the same love radiating off of her toward me. _Had I really fucked up?_ In those pictures, was 'whole Joe Morelli'—not the half shell I'd become since our split.

Marisa broke into my reverie. "I love dogs, but I hate the slobber. I don't know how she put up with him from the stories she's told me."

I blushed slightly. It was true—Bob wasn't your normal dog. But he was well loved by both Stephanie and me. It took a certain kind of person to care for a dog like him. I never thought I would've been that person, but I was more than attached to him. By looking at the picture, I could see so was Stephanie.

"He's always making a mess, but he's a great dog," I commented before I could stop myself.

Her knowing look was back, and I wondered if Stephanie had ever talked about me. And then I winced, thinking of all the awful fights we'd had and how she might've mentioned those too.

For a split second, I hoped she _hadn't _talked about me.

"I've heard that too." She smiled. "How can I help you today?"

"Has Stephanie briefed you on the shoes that were stolen?" I asked, morphing into my all-cop persona and returning the frame onto the desk.

"She mentioned something a while ago. Was there another? I haven't found anything missing from my paperwork, and Stephanie was really organized."

I barked out a laugh and covered it with my best fake cough. Stephanie and organized had _never_ belonged in the same sentence before.

"Excuse me, sorry about that," I apologized, still smiling from her reference.

"No—" she went to say but was interrupted by a knock on her door.

"Marisa, do you—"

Alex appeared in the doorway.

"Detective, what brings you here today?" He asked, all the while squinting at me.

"Alex, will you give the detective and me a moment please?" she requested.

"This is my department, Marisa. I think I need to know what is going on all the time."

I couldn't help but feel the tension envelope the room. Something told me it wasn't just my presence that had brought on the thickening air around us.

"I'm sure," she replied. Giving him a pointed look, she turned back to me and said, "Sorry about the interruption. Continue please."

I explained the Michael Kors missing shipment, and what I was working on to Marisa, along with my suspicions. Every once in a while, Alex would interrupt with some useless knowledge I'd already said earlier. I finished off by telling her the information Ranger had given me, calling him my informant. I didn't know if Stephanie had talked about me to this lady, and I was even less sure if she'd talked about Ranger. Either way, I wasn't going to give any more information and names than absolutely necessary.

Since Marisa hadn't been working when the first shipment was stolen, I was positive she'd had nothing to do with it. With that, I let her in on my hunch that there was an inside person.

"I'll only be here until the end of the week. Stephanie will be back on Monday, and I'll let her know."

_Good information to have._

"She'd _better_ be," Alex muttered.

His attitude was pissing me off every time Steph's name was mentioned. He had to have been her boyfriend, and if I wasn't curious before as to why they'd broke up, I certainly was now.

"Thank you," I said, standing up to leave. "I'd appreciate it if you'd pass on the information."

"I'll see you out, Mister Mooreli," Alex announced. I had the distinct impression he'd purposefully said my last name wrong.

"_Detective Morelli_." I corrected him.

"Alex," Marisa said, breaking our glares toward one another, "Dave has those reports you were looking for. Why don't you go get them, and I'll see Detective Morelli out."

"Marisa—"

"No, you said those reports were urgent, and I got them done. You should go get them," she told him sternly.

I was surprised when he backed down seeing as he was obviously her superior. Nevertheless, he gave me a curt nod and exited ahead of us.

We were in the elevator going down, when Marisa broke the silence.

"You said you thought there might be someone here passing along information."

"I don't want to insult any—"

"No, I wasn't thinking that," she hastened to assure me. "I'm having an end of summer barbeque at my house this Sunday. A lot of the employees will be there."

I nodded, not sure where she was going with her statement.

"Not everyone will be there, but I'll have a lot of people in a smaller area there—more so than everyone running back and forth between cubicles here. Not to mention liquor. Maybe it'd be a good idea for you to come and have _your_ ears open."

"I wouldn't want to impose and—" She stopped me with waving hands. This lady was good at interrupting.

"You wouldn't be," she insisted and purposefully looked down at my left hand, "Plus—you never know who you might meet."


	9. Chapter 9

**Thank you so much to everyone that is still around for my journey through the Plum world! I'm having fun so I hope you are too.**

**A gigantic THANK YOU to my fabulous betas Carol and Julie. Both of my amazing friends put just as much time into each chapter as I do. It really is quite the process for me to get each chapter out and it wouldn't be possible without their patience and dedication. **

**Thank you both from the bottom of my heart!**

P.S.- This last half of August is going to be beyond busy for me. So a heads up that there will probably be longer stretches between chapters but I PROMISE to write when I can. I hope you'll wait with me :)

* * *

**Chapter 9**

**Stephanie POV**

I finally arrived home with the Stankovic family in tow. After letting their two boys watch television for forty-five minutes, Mary Lou made sure they had their nightly showers and tucked them into their sleeping bags on the floor of my spare room. Mary Lou and Lenny would be sleeping on the futon bed.

"I didn't think they'd ever fall asleep," Mary Lou complained, dropping her body on the opposite side of the couch from me. "I haven't had to sing them to sleep since Mikey was a toddler."

"They're excited," I observed, popping a beer open for her and passing it over.

"I don't know why. It's not like they've never been to a zoo. Kenny had a field trip to Newark Mini Zoo right before school let out for the summer," she told me, and then it hit her.

Turning to Lenny, who was in the recliner on the side of the sofa, she asked in a low accusatory tone, "You told them there were rides, didn't you?"

Lenny started shaking his head no, but after some kind of silent communication between husband and wife, he saw the error of his ways.

"Yeah," he admitted. "It's the only way I could get them to settle down."

"I _knew_ they were too calm after your mom's cake," she told me. I didn't think bouncing around on the couch cushions was necessarily considered calm. Then again, they weren't my kids. What did I know?

Turning back to Lenny with squinty eyes, she said, "You know you'll be paying for this tomorrow, right? They're going to be so disappointed that there are only pony rides and a merry go round—and _not_ roller coasters. Don't even try to deny it." If possible, her eyes went even squintier. "I _know_ that's what you made it sound like. And guess who has to deal with the fallout? _You_ do." She finished by pointing a finger at Lenny.

He looked somewhat sheepish, but I'm positive he was thinking of ways to get out of his new duties tomorrow. Probably he was trying to come up with ways to stay at my house and watch a game while Mary Lou and I took the kids to the zoo and barbecue.

"Anyone want another beer?" Mary Lou asked, getting up from her perch on the couch. Lenny grunted, never taking his eyes away from the game on TV. Since Mary Lou understood his language, she knew what he was saying.

"Sure," I said, looking at her briefly and then turning back to the game myself. It was a home game with the Mets vs. the Rockies. Coming off a four game winning streak, it was looking like the Mets had met their match for the night.

Watching the game was a perfect distraction to my brief breakdown in the car on the way home.

Mary Lou walked back into the living room and handed both Lenny and me a beer.

"Thanks," I said, trying my best not to yell at the television as if the players could hear my distain for their foul plays.

I knew if Joe had been sitting next to me, he would've been huffing and saying, "They're _supposed_ to be professionals!"

Staying home and watching a game had been one of my favorite things to do with Joe. It was moments like that I'd treasured. There would be no one to distract us unless his pager went off. We'd cuddle up together and sharing tender caresses. It had taken me a few months after the break-up to be able to watch sports, because every time I'd watch a game of any kind I was reminded of him. Truth be told, I still was, but the pain I felt was lessening—slightly.

I tamped down the sadness growing inside of me again. _Just breathe._

"Do you ever grill out here?" Mary Lou drew my attention away from the game to her. She was standing at the sliding door to the backyard and flipped on the outside light.

Although I had done my best to keep up with the grass, I hadn't actually spent much time out there. I'd tried my hand at barbecuing a few times, but my nieces had advocated for my retirement from the grill. While I'd made progress in the kitchen, it hadn't extended _that_ far.

"No, not really," I replied.

"I'm surprised."

"Why?"

"Because when you used to get really stressed, you'd wander out to your fire escape. How many times have I driven by, honked and waved at you?" She added, "You've had a lot going on lately, so I'm just surprised you haven't been using this area as your decompression zone."

Sadly, the fire escape in my apartment in Trenton never reminded me of the fact a possible dirty dog I'd been missing wouldn't be running around out there.

I shrugged, knowing I didn't have a response to satisfy her. If I gave her my real answer, she'd delve deeper into why I missed Bob.

Truth was I missed Bob as an extension of missing Joe and everything that came with him. I missed them both more than I'd ever missed anything in my entire life. Why couldn't Joe be affected by the breakup as much as I was? If he really loved me, wouldn't he have wanted to spend _some_ time with me when I'd asked? Maybe I'd been right all the times I'd doubted how much he loved me. Maybe it hadn't been just my subconscious trying to justify my actions.

I was tired of living in this pity party I'd been in a constant state of. I may never come to terms with missing Joe and not having him in my life, but I needed to find a way to be happy.

I'd been so busy wallowing in my own pain and trying to cover everything up that I wasn't enjoying this time in my life. I'd finally moved from the Burg. Isn't that what I'd always wanted? Why was I wasting time? I was tired of feeling like blown glass—the slightest wrong movement and I might fall and break.

_That time was over. _

Deciding to take Grandma's outlook on things, I looked at the positive. Grandma's cancerous growths had reduced in size and surgery was a good option to rid her body of it. And—if God forbid—something did happen, I would know without a shadow of a doubt, she'd lived a full and happy life. It would just take a long time to get over the fact I no longer had my older, bolder twin in my life.

Sitting there in my home with Mary Lou and Lenny, I'd come to some important realizations about living my life to the fullest. I had no doubt I would be completely devastated when Grandma Mazur passed away—cancer or not. The mere thought of the cycle of life brought tears to my eyes, but I quickly swiped at my eyes. Now was not the time to cry.

As far as what Ranger wanted—it sounded like a perfect opportunity, and I desperately wanted to go home after my stint with Macy's was over. Other than the training, the job he was offering was something I wanted to do.

The stressful feelings regarding the job were coming from wondering _if_ I could do it. All of Ranger's men were perfectionists, and he knew that each of them could do his job with ease and at a very high success rate. I wasn't any of those things—a perfectionist, at ease or highly successful—at least in my own eyes.

I knew I didn't want to be a bounty hunter anymore, but I didn't want to sit behind a desk either. Unfortunately, I had another six months left on my contract. It probably wouldn't feel like such a long time if I hadn't made the mistake of dating Alex. Also, going out with Lula and realizing I missed the thrill that came with not being tied down to a desk made six months even harder to swallow.

Then there was the issue of safety. Look how much trouble I'd found myself in when I took on searches of my own—Uncle Fred and when I went looking for Annie and Evelyn. Both situations had turned disastrous thanks to Abruzzi and Allen Shempsky. Living in this house was the first time, other than when I'd lived with Joe, that I felt safe at home. I didn't want to lose that feeling.

What would Joe think if I went to work for Ranger? Would he be mad I'd be working with Ranger again? Would he be disappointed in me? I couldn't allow myself to believe Joe and I would never be friends again—or _more_—the latter of which I had humongous doubts about.

I had faith that Ranger and I could work together again without anything developing between us, but the fact was it still scared me. We'd started out friends in the beginning the last time, and, in a blink of an eye, we'd became more—that is until I'd tired of his game.

Right now we were both on neutral ground with each other, and I wanted to keep it that way. _If_ I took the job Ranger was offering, I'd need to make sure he understood he could _never_ entertain thoughts we'd ever become more than friends again.

Joe or no Joe, Ranger and I wanted two completely different things out of life, and I wasn't willing to settle any longer.

My eyes were glued to the television, but I wasn't absorbing anything on the screen. I was too wrapped up in trying my best to bring back my former self—minus the part of me that had slept with one too many men—when the doorbell rang.

I looked at the clock, noting it was a little after nine.

"Are you expecting any visitors?" Lenny asked.

"Just you," I replied while getting off of the couch.

Obviously he hadn't been around me during my more disastrous days, because he made no move to get up and check and see who was there, knowing I hadn't invited anyone over. If we were back in Trenton, I probably would've made him answer the door. Here I hadn't had any real trouble, and the neighborhood was safe, so I wasn't too concerned.

Looking through the peephole, I took in a sharp breath of air.

Mary Lou had been in the kitchen and must have heard me. I was momentarily stunned and didn't know what to do. Her head peeked around the corner.

"Everything okay?" she asked in concern.

I looked at her and then back to the door, shaking my head. Suddenly I wanted an invisible shield to protect me. Realizing Alex couldn't see me through the door, I slowly walked away and into the kitchen where Mary Lou was standing.

"It's Alex," I said, trying to whisper. Due to my panicked state, my voice ended up coming out louder than intended.

"Alex?" she asked incredulously.

"Uh huh." I nodded, rolling my eyes.

The doorbell rang again. I jumped and looked at Mary Lou, silently willing her to give me some idea as to what to do, since I didn't want to answer the door.

"I got this," she said and went into the living room. I heard her speaking to Lenny, but I was too focused on what Alex could possibly be doing outside.

I was afraid he might try and come through the side gate. Looking around, I noticed all the blinds were closed. _Phew_.

Lenny and Mary Lou walked to the door after the third ring. As she passed by me, she put her finger to her lips.

I wanted so badly to see what was going on, but I couldn't risk peeking out from the kitchen. Instead I settled for straining my hearing instead.

"Can I help you?" Lenny asked, opening the door with a fake yawn.

"Is Stephanie home?"

"Stephanie? Oh no—she's out of town. She offered us a place to stay, while we take our boys to the zoo," Mary Lou told him.

"Her car's here."

_Shit!_ My cover was blown. Wait—how did he know what car I was driving? I'd bought my new one _after_ I'd left his ass in Trenton.

"You mean the white one?" Lenny asked.

"Yes. I know she's home. Now _let_ me see her," Alex stated sternly.

I could hear Mary Lou sucking in air at Alex's accusation. She may have been lying on account of me, but she could act with the best of them. Unlike me, she'd been able to tell stories to our parents that had gotten both of us out of _a lot_ of trouble growing up.

"Are you insinuating I'm lying?" she spat at Alex.

I heard shuffling of feet and Lenny's voice saying, "Why don't you go into the other room?"

I assumed big, broad Lenny had moved Mary Lou out of the way, but I knew there was no way she'd actually go into the another room.

"That car's broken," Lenny said in a tone that had I not known Lenny for so long would've had me peeing in my pants. "I'm supposed to fix it before she comes back—uh—Monday morning."

"She was supposed—" Alex began before Mary Lou interrupted him.

"I can tell her you stopped by. What's your name?" I could picture her stepping in front of Lenny with a giant smile plastered on her face. She was the perfect Jekyll and Hyde when necessary.

"Alexander MacLaine, but you can call me Alex," he informed her, and I wanted to punch something. _That _kind of introduction should have been my _first_ tip he was no good.

_What had I been thinking?_

"I'll be sure to tell her you stopped by Alex. It was a pleasure to meet you," Mary Lou said with her best Burg manners.

I heard the door shut and lock, but still didn't feel brave enough to step outside of my hiding place in the kitchen.

"You dated him?" Lenny asked, walking into the kitchen.

Just from the tone of his voice I scratched the 'thank you' I'd thought he'd originally deserved.

"_Don't_ start on me," I warned.

"Whoa there, tiger." He put his hands up in surrender. "You're like a little sister to me, Steph. You know I get along with most people, but I didn't like him from the second I opened the door I wouldn't have let you date him."

"Don't remind me what an idiot I was, please."

"Good Lord, Steph, did you ever even look into his eyes? They have a crazy look to them," Mary Lou spoke up.

"Don't be overly dramatic. He has pretty eyes."

Even when he'd been a little rough around me or his attitude had gone up a few notches, his eyes had never been 'crazy'.

Good God, I hadn't been that blind, had I?

"No, Mare's right. They _were_ buggy looking," Lenny agreed.

"We have a long day tomorrow. I'm going to head to bed."

_And find my gun_.

I didn't want to think about why Alex's eyes might be buggy or crazy. I had one more day before I'd have to face him, and I wanted to play on Denial Island just a little longer. Tonight's turn of events had me momentarily thinking about becoming a missing person, so I wouldn't have to deal with Alex come Monday morning.

"Are you going to be okay, Stephanie?" Mary Lou asked. the fact she'd used my full name had me looking at her questioningly.

"Your hands are shaking," she noted, looking down at my hands.

I dropped my gaze as well. I hadn't even realized I was shaking. I wasn't _that_ scared—was I?

"I'm fine. This is nothing. I've been through worse."

"Hmmm, this is different."

"How so?" I asked defiantly, upset she doubted me. I struggled not to lose my temper with my best friend. Of course if I did lose my temper with her, she'd just laugh. It wasn't like she was a stranger to it.

"Okay, don't take this is the wrong way," she said, sensing my demeanor. At my nod, she continued, "You don't have anyone to rescue you."

I sat there open mouthed. I couldn't believe she'd just said that.

_But it was true._

"You're right," I acknowledged after a pause, thinking it was hard to argue with someone when they were telling the truth. "I'll get through this though—you'll see."

"And I'll be there for you when you need me," she promised, wrapping her arms around me in a tight hold.

All I could do was nod and say a weak 'goodnight'. How was I going to deal with Alex? Obviously he didn't like the fact I no longer wanted anything to do with him.

Argh! The messes I continually got myself into—and without even trying!

I needed to find my gun and a place where I could buy bullets. I shivered at the thought of carrying a weapon again. I'd fought against it for so long, hating what one could do. Could I even use one any longer? Sadly, without Joe—or even Ranger—a gun was my only line of self-defense at this point.

What a strange feeling.

* * *

"Are you sure you want to go to this barbecue?" I asked everyone in the car.

"No," Lenny promptly replied.

"Yes! Do you have any idea how long it's been since I've socialized outside of the Burg? Of course I'm ready," Mary Lou exclaimed.

Mary Lou, Lenny, the kids and I were all in their van on our way to Marisa's annual end of summer barbecue following our day at the zoo.

Mikey and Kenny had fallen asleep as soon as their seat belts were buckled. Mary Lou claimed the forty-five minute drive would be just what they'd need to recharge. More than likely they'd have _twice_ the amount of energy as when they'd awakened that morning.

_Hmmm, maybe I should rethink the whole 'wanting to have kids' deal._

We'd stopped on the way to Marisa's to grab a bottle of wine as a gift. I'd had no knowledge of wine, so I'd gone with Lula's method and simply picked one out with a pretty label.

"This is a nice house," Mary Lou noted as we walked up the drive. "What does her husband do again?"

"Something with numbers. I don't really know."

"Must be good with them if they live here." There was nothing envious about what Mary Lou had said—just a straightforward observation coming from a Burg girl.

Also, coming from the Burg, the Chance family home would be intimidating to anyone from Jersey. Whereas in Trenton you had mostly small row houses, in Philadelphia, there were a lot of big Tudor and Colonial type homes. Marisa and Mark's place was a decent-sized colonial with huge trees and a wraparound porch.

Rapping on the door lightly, it opened on its own. In the foyer sat a sign not unlike one you would find at a restaurant telling you to 'Wait to be Seated', only this one said 'Come on Back'. Arrows pointed to the open doors that led to the backyard.

Apparently Marisa didn't want to be cooped up inside greeting her guests. Instead she wanted to be outside mingling with everyone.

We began walking toward the backyard when Mark walked in.

"Stephanie, good to see you," he said, pulling me into a one armed hug. "And you brought your friends!"

Introductions were made, and Mark took the wine, putting it in the little wine fridge.

Mark was definitely a catch. Marisa and he made a beautiful couple, and you could always see the love they had for one other reflected in their eyes. Mark wasn't as pale as me, but usually we were fairly close in color.

The family had gone out to his brother's cabin quite a bit over the summer, and you could tell he'd been in the sun a lot by his brown tone. It was more of a light caramel than a deep brown, but his skin color made his light brown eyes even more pronounced. His dark blonde hair had lightened from the sun, and I noticed his dimples even more than usual. I could definitely see why Marisa had chosen him—not just for his looks but for his great personality that matched hers so well.

"Marisa is out back somewhere. I saw her talking to Jessica last. They were discussing potentials for Dave's position."

"Jessica's here?" I whined, not even bothering to withhold the disdain in my voice.

Mark looked slightly sheepish. "You know Marisa. If you invite one, you have to invite them all. You should have seen our wedding."

"I've heard she's quite the party planner. She already has Sophia's first party planned six months in advance, doesn't she?"

"Oh yeah—you should see the guest list. You'd never know a one year old could have so many friends."

He laughed. "You all go on out back. I'm getting ready to pull the meat out. Jason and Danny are playing badminton. Sophia is sleeping, so you're going to have to wait to see her." Checking his watch, he added, "She should be up within the next hour."

As soon as we hit the back porch, Kenny and Mikey took rackets and started playing with Marisa's boys.

"Ahhh, it'll be so nice not to have them under foot for the next few hours," Mary Lou sighed.

"_You_ didn't have to deal with them most of the day," Lenny grumbled good-naturedly, since Mary Lou had gone through with her plans from the previous night and had made Lenny handle the boys the entire time we were at the zoo.

"Hush, it was your own fault. Now go grab a beer and be social," she ordered, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek. She then turned to me. "_You_ are going to introduce me to your fabulous friend."

"Hey, I want a beer too!" I cried, bringing us to a halt.

"Fine," she relented, steering me over to the ice chest.

We found Marisa in the back of the yard where the trees were providing shade. She was sitting on a wood and iron bench with Jessica, Alex's assistant.

"Stephanie! I thought you were going to flake!" She elbowed me in jest. "And you must be Mary Lou!" She pulled her into a hug.

Mary Lou looked at me with surprise in her eyes. She'd grown up much like I had. Our families were _not_ the touchy-feely type, although Mary Lou was better at it than I was.

"It's great to meet you. I'm so happy Steph has someone here for her," Mary Lou told her sincerely.

"Yeah, me too. Fate really has a way of putting two people together," she said with a wink. "Jessica and I were talking about Dave's replacement. She has someone in mind. Why don't you two catch up, and Mary Lou and I will go schmooze with the rest of the guests."

If looks could kill, Marisa would be a dead woman. She knew Jessica and I didn't get along. It wasn't so much that anything nasty had been said, but we found ourselves at silent standoffs more often than not. She'd always had her eye on me, because I'd been dating her 'lovely and fabulous boss' as she liked to introduce him.

She obviously didn't know him. Probably they would make a perfect pair.

I sat with Jessica, until I finished my first beer. This would be the longest conversation we'd ever had, and the tension was almost unbearable.

"So I heard you and Alex aren't together anymore. I can't say I'm disappointed. I was waiting for him to come to his senses," she started.

"I'm sure you were. He's all yours," I stated in a clipped tone.

"He always _has_ been. He's just not ready for all I have to offer him."

I snorted at her high-class attitude. She wasn't much to look at, and her attitude made whatever she thought she had to offer even less appealing.

"Let's cut the shit, shall we?"

I didn't want to hear anything more about her or Alex. I had a purpose, and that was the only reason I was talking to her. "Marisa said you knew of a replacement. Tell me about him. Or her?"

She harrumphed and relented. "Ashley works for Penny's as a baby department buyer. She wants something a little less demanding because she has a family."

"Okay, how long have you known her?"

"Since Alex introduced us about five years ago," she offered in a smug tone.

If she was looking for a reaction, she was going to be sadly mistaken. I could have cared less about anything to do with Alex. Unlike her, I wasn't blind any longer to the real person he was.

"Tell her to come in Tuesday. Monday's the monthly meeting, so whatever time works for her, I'll interview. Just let me know."

From what Marisa had stressed to me, it was hard to find a good assistant that lasted. I had to be willing to look past the fact she _is _or _was_ friends with Alex and Jessica. Maybe I would put her to the test and have Dave work her like a dog all day to see how she'd really act—not just in interview mode.

Without waiting for a response, I got up to get a fresh beer and find Mary Lou. On the way over to her, I was stopped by several coworkers and introduced to their significant others.

_Was it just me or was almost everyone I knew attached?_

Knowing I didn't have to drive home, Mary Lou was both Lenny's and my designated driver. I was on my third—and most likely final—beer for the night and pleasantly surprised to find I was having a good time socializing with my coworkers and some new faces.

I found Mary Lou with Marisa, Sophia and a few other ladies from work watching the boys play badminton. I cooed at Sophia and made sure to squeeze those baby thighs of hers before Mary Lou snatched her from my hands.

I pouted for a second, but it didn't work on Mary Lou, so I turned my attention to the boys. They were arguing over a foul play, so I walked over to end the debate.

"Alright boys, listen up. Kenny, you see that kid over in the corner?"

He nodded.

"Go get him and tell him he's playing with us. New teams," I called out, directing everyone. "Kenny, Danny, Jason and the kid on one team, and Mikey and me on the other."

"Hey, that's not fair," Mikey whined. "They have more players than us."

"You're right, but don't you worry. Between you and me, we have more strength," I said, winking at the older kids.

All boys liked competition and that was one way to create it.

"We'll play until dinner is ready," I instructed, knowing we only had a few minutes.

He seemed mollified. "Okay."

Travis, the new boy, came over to play. He was much shyer than the rest of the kids, but as soon as we started playing, he came out of his shell.

By the time Mark shouted that dinner was almost ready, Mikey and I were ahead by three points. My knees burned from playing at a 'fair' height on them. Mikey was doing the 'nee ner nee ner nee ner' to our not so happy losers.

"Hey, none of that. We'll play another round after dinner once your tummies have settled."

"Really? You'll be on my team again?" Mikey asked.

"Of course."

Before I knew what was happening, Mikey hurtled toward me at a full sprint. I was still on my knees, and the force in which he used to hug me knocked me clear over.

I couldn't help the giant 'Umph' that escaped me as we collided.

"Aunt Steph, you're my favorite."

"Oh yeah? Well, all of you are my favorites," I teased and started tickling him until he squirmed off of me.

At the sound of his squealing laughter, a giant giggle burst out of my mouth.

It felt _so_ good to let loose, and once again, I was grateful we'd come today.

"Go find your mom, so you can eat," I told Mikey, while I continued to lie on the grass.

"Okay!" he exclaimed, excitement vibrating through him.

I went to stand and, looking up, found a hand outstretched to help me up. The sun was blinding, and I couldn't make out whom it was. From the look of it, it was definitely a man.

Grateful for the help, I smiled up at the person and took it. As soon as I stood, the sun was no longer blocking my view. And when I saw who had lent me a hand, all air was completely sucked out of my lungs.

* * *

**Joe's POV**

I arrived at the Chance house about an hour and a half after Marisa had told me to be here. I'd wanted to arrive early in order to talk with Marisa a little more as well as to be introduced to everybody upon arrival to get a decent read. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to get there when I'd wanted as Ranger had found an informant in Philly willing to talk to us.

After interrogating him for three hours, we hadn't gotten any information we hadn't already had.

Rubbing my hands over my face, I blew out my frustration of the day. With any luck, I'd get some information just by meeting people tonight. That would also give me the pleasure of knowing my gut instinct had been right, and there wasn't anything much more satisfying than that.

Okay, I could think of several things more satisfying—most of which included Stephanie.

Marisa hadn't mentioned if Stephanie would be at the barbecue. With the way my luck had been going that week, she was probably still at her parent's in Trenton. Part of me was still resisting her, but the fact was I _did_ want to see her. My life had definitely been lonely, since she'd been out of it.

I had no one to come home and share a beer with; no one to argue over a call of a game—and worst of all, no one to work through my frustrations with. Steph had always been good at that. Whether it was a case or a personal issue, she'd always helped me navigate the waters.

Knocking on the door, I felt trepidation again. The door swung wide, and I saw a sign leading the way to the back yard.

Hmmm, someone was creative in this house.

I made my way through the house and almost ran into a man about my height. He almost looked like a surfer without the long hair. He was trying to balance plates with burgers, hot dogs and sausages piled high, and, if it hadn't been for my quick reflexes, he would've lost at least the burgers.

"Hey thanks," he said, as I grabbed another plate off the counter with small steaks.

"No problem."

"I don't think we've met before. I'm Mark—Marisa's husband. That's whom I'm assuming invited you?"

"Yup, sorry, name's Joe."

"Joe! She told me about you. How about if I introduce you when we all sit to eat?"

"That would help. Does everyone know each other here?"

I was already scanning faces and saw a few familiar ones from the office. I didn't want to make the reason for my presence too obvious.

"No, there are a few people here that probably need to be introduced. If it makes you feel any better, we could say you're an old friend of Marisa's and mine," he offered while throwing meat on the grill.

"The meat is going on now!" Mark called out to the crowd.

"I don't know—a few of these people have seen me."

"You're right," he agreed, passing me a beer and a spatula. He put the burgers on a smaller coal grill in front of me, and added, "You don't need a label. We'll just go around the table."

"Good idea—I appreciate it."

"No problem. So Marisa tells me you're from Jersey."

"Born and raised. Other than a stint in the Navy, this is the longest I've been away."

"Navy, huh? I was going to enlist, but Marisa got pregnant."

"You have kids?" I asked.

I'd heard the sound of kids playing in the yard, but had yet to see any. Flipping over the burgers, I took a drink of my beer. I'd been too busy for 'man time', and it felt surprisingly good.

Mark had been a complete stranger when I'd walked in, but not fifteen minutes later, it felt as though I'd known him for years.

"Yeah, we lost the first, but we've been pretty damned lucky since. Now we have three. They're around here somewhere—Danny, Jason and our youngest Sophia."

"Sounds like a full house," I commented, all the while feeling that distant longing for a family of my own.

"Yeah, it can get crazy. Once Sophia starts walking, the chaos will go up a few notches."

"How old is—"

I halted all speech and turned to the left, hearing a familiar tinkling giggle. It couldn't be anyone other than Steph. She didn't giggle too often. Laugh—yes—but giggle was another story, and it was unmistakable when she did.

I stood there, beer in my left hand; spatula in my right, watching her rolling around with—wait—was that a Stankovic kid? It was little Mikey. He finally leapt off of her after she pointed to the tables and ran off with a group of kids that included Kenny.

_What were the kids doing here?_

I almost wished time would stand still for a moment.

_God she looked good_. She always did—even with the recent and noticeable weight loss. Wearing jean shorts and a purple tank, she looked as though she'd gotten some sun.

A low growl emitted from my throat before I realized I'd made the sound. Stephanie went to get up, and Alex appeared over her. With a smile on her face, she took his hand.

Her smile faltered as soon as she stood.

I was too far away to hear their conversation, but it looked as though she was going to walk away when he grabbed her wrist. I could tell by the force of her jerking back toward him he had a tight grip. Her face turned to pure anger. Oh how familiar I was with that look!

I was ready to put my beer and spatula down when Mark came over, pulling my attention toward him.

"Dude, you're going to burn the—oh shit."

Mark started off toward Alex and Steph, and I was right on his heels when he turned around and said, "No, stay there. You don't want to get in the middle of this."

The tone in which he said it meant serious business. If he was worried about Stephanie's temper, he probably didn't know I'd helped her fine tune what it was today. I was more than used to it.

"Hey, fancy seeing you here," a familiar voice spoke as he came up behind me, with a hard pat on my back.

Lenny.

I hadn't turned to face him, still watching the scene unfold in front of me. Alex was trying to talk to Stephanie, and she was turned away, Mark was just getting over to them. From the looks on all their faces, no one was happy. Flaming pissed was more like it.

"That's the guy that came to her house yesterday. She had Mary Lou and I answer the door for her," Lenny observed, noticing at what I was watching.

"She did?"

I turned to him, and, in my peripheral vision, saw the flames flying on the burgers in my grill and the steaks on the other.

"Fuck!" I yelled, trying to flip the burgers and hoping they weren't toast. "Lenny, flip the steaks."

"Man if my burger's charred, it's on you," he ribbed good-naturedly, probably trying to ease the tension I'm sure was radiating off of me.

Quickly flipping the meat over, I glanced up at Mark escorting Alex off the porch and into the house.

"I don't want to see your face here again," Mark told him.

"Fuck you! All I wanted to do was talk to her," Alex told him, spit flying out of his mouth.

"She doesn't _want_ to talk. You'd better get your ass in check before work tomorrow; otherwise, I'll see to it you don't have a job," Mark's voice trailed off into the house.

My fingers started tingling. It was then I noticed I had a death grip on both the spatula and my now empty beer. It wasn't just my knuckles that were white, but my entire hand. Tossing my beer in the trash, I set down the spatula and opened and closed my hands to make the circulation come back.

Turning back to Lenny, I asked in what I hoped was a casual tone. "So he stopped by, and Steph didn't want to see him?"

Taking the meat off the grills, he shook his head, "No man—I don't know what happened, but Mary Lou said something about him harassing her."

_Shit!_

I went for another beer and looked over to where Stephanie was standing. All I wanted to do was hold her and make sure she was okay. Instead, huddled around her were Mary Lou, Marisa and a few other women.

She made a grab for the baby in Marisa's arms and Marisa moved out of her way. I could see Stephanie morph her face into pleading with Marisa, and she finally passed over the baby. I was in awe watching her talk to the bundle in her arms. Usually she shied away from anything in a diaper.

The sight made my heart clench lightly. It was almost as if I was looking at my future. I had to shake my head to clear the images of her carrying my child. If I allowed myself to linger in my imaginary future, all it would do was bring me down.

Steph was shaking her head 'no' to whatever the ladies surrounding her were saying, until Mary Lou took some kind of direction from Marisa and turned. Our eyes caught, hers widening with surprise as she came upon the porch.

"Hey stud, didn't expect to see you here," she said, giving me a hug.

"She okay?" I asked, still watching Steph and her friends.

I'd always loved watching her be able to let loose. She'd been under so much stress the last few years, and I'd always had to work pretty hard to get her to relax and have as much fun as it looked like she was having today.

"She will be after this. We'll catch up in a bit. Right now I have a friend to take care of."

She went into the house only to return with a bottle of vodka and three shot glasses.

"They definitely take care of their own," Lenny smirked, returning from inside the house where he'd put the meat platters.

A nod was my only response. I was too busy watching Stephanie.

I watched in amusement as she took the first shot of liquor, chuckling at the look on her face when she was done. To my surprise, she took another that Mary Lou had poured for her.

"Thanks for getting everything off the grills," Mark said, and I turned to pass him a cold beer.

"You walked away so no one could blame you for burning everything," Lenny joked.

"I wish. I hope I never see his face again otherwise it might be a mangled mess."

I agreed. I didn't know Alex that well, and I didn't want to get to know him any better. Cop or not, I would gladly assist Mark in any plans he had against Alex.

"He wasn't supposed to show, I don't think Stephanie would have come if she knew he was coming." Mark looked over at me and realized I probably didn't know what was going on so he just said, "Bad blood."

"Really? How bad?" I asked. My anger with Alex was still simmering at the surface. I was all too happy Mark had taken care of the situation. That way I didn't have to make a fool out of myself in front of people that didn't know my temper or me.

Stephanie always knew how to bring not only my temper but also my acid reflux to new heights without even trying.

"I'd say 'bad', but really there's no way to tell yet. After my talk, perhaps it could get better. Maybe she'll get herself so drunk she'll have no choice but to call into work tomorrow, and she won't have to deal with him for another day."

Lenny spoke up. "Listen, Joe, I think you need to keep an eye on our girl when you can. She says she can take care of this herself, but Mary Lou said he's been pretty persistent on not letting Steph go."

_Fuck_.

"You guys go grab plates. The kids are already eating. I'll get the girls to eat," Mark instructed.

I didn't want to walk away from my perfect perch on the porch, but I soon realized watching Stephanie wasn't getting me any of the information I'd been hoping to acquire.

As soon as we were all settled in our seats, Mark made the introductions. I was keeping a close eye on Stephanie, seeing as she'd had a few shots—and probably a couple beers before that. Worse yet, she had a new one in her hand right then. She was arguing with Mary Lou and Marisa, who were trying to get her to eat. She was telling them she wasn't hungry. She was definitely going to be paying for not eating in the morning.

When I introduced myself to the table, her eyes shot up and were rounder than I'd ever seen them.

_Surprise!_ I felt like saying, but just gave her a smile.

I ate my meal while talking with Lenny and a few of Marisa and Steph's coworkers. I was trying to stay in detective mode and forget about what had happened with Alex and Stephanie earlier.

I was helping Mark pick up the trash around the porch when I finally got Stephanie alone as she came out of the house.

"How you feeling, Cupcake?"

I was trying to act nonchalant, as if I hadn't been keeping a good eye on her the entire day.

"Hmmm, I think the alc—oh—al is ssss—starting to work its magic."

I let out a small laugh. She never could hold her liquor.

"Are you laughing at me? You beeeetter not be laughing at me," she pouted, giving me her patented death glare.

"No," I said, waving my hands. "No way would I laugh at you."

"That's what I thought. You were alwayssss a smart one, Morelli."

"Thanks. You going to be okay?" I asked, steadying her wobbly frame.

"Oh yeah." She started to brush me off, but then got a slightly mischievous glint in her eyes. "I'd be better if yous came overrr for dinnnner on Wedsssssday."

"Steph, I already told you—"

"That your case is too bussssy so you can't hang out with a ffffrrrriiiiieeeennnddd? Seems to me you're not too busy to be _here_." she returned snidely, no longer taking my excuses. "I'll even _make_ you dinner."

"You? Make dinner?" I asked incredulously. In all the time I'd known Stephanie, I'd known her to make dinner only a handful of times and never for me because she was too nervous.

"What? You think I'll poison you or ssssomethingg?" she accused hotly.

"Fine, you win. What time?" I said, giving up in defeat. There was no sense in arguing with her—especially since she'd been drinking, and there was the beginning of the pouty lip.

_How was it I was already feeling excited?_ I wasn't supposed to be feeling excited.

"Sooooo, dinnnner at my housssse on Wed—Wend—Wendesday, six thirty. Be there." she said, and I nodded, stifling my laugh at her attempt to be demanding.

Mary Lou came up from behind Steph and rolled her eyes.

"I think we're going to get her home. She has work tomorrow," Mary Lou said, giving me an apologetic look.

"Be safe. Call me if you need anything." I said, giving her a kiss on the cheek. I probably shouldn't have, but I couldn't leave without touching her in some way. Her leaving provided the perfect opportunity.

"You too. Rex and I've misssssed you," she said.

_And I've missed you_.

"I'll follow you home. Make sure you get there safely," I offered.

"It's okay, you don't—"

"It's late, and it would make me feel better," I told her, and she nodded.

That was only _part _of the reason I wanted to follow them home. I wasn't about to spill my guts about the rest.

I resisted the urge to tell Mary Lou I'd take Stephanie home. I wanted to—God help me, I did—but I was too afraid I'd take advantage of the situation. The way my body and heart longed for her it would be complete annihilation for both of us. My brain was definitely losing the battle against my heart, and it'd become fruitless to fight the feeling any longer.

If I spent _one_ night cuddled with her, soothing her, I don't know if I'd be able to leave. I knew I wasn't ready for that—yet.

**Stephanie's POV**

_Ding Ding Ding_

Five minutes later,

_Ding Ding Ding_

I pulled my throbbing head out from under my pillow long enough to look at the clock.

_Six in the morning?_

Someone had to have died to have even thought I'd look at a text message at that hour.

_Wait!_ Grandma!

I flung myself out of bed and immediately regretted it. Gingerly putting my hand to my head in order to make my brain stop bouncing off my skull, I scanned my bedroom for where the sound was coming from.

_Ding Ding Ding_

I would be changing my alert tone right after I decimated the moron texting me before God gets up.

Realizing my mother would have _called_ me if something had happened to Grandma, I picked up my phone, no longer in a sudden rush. I would call her later just to make certain there was a plan in place if it became necessary. Better to be safe than sorry.

Unlocking the screen, I saw three new messages from a number not saved in my contacts. I hadn't needed to—I already had it memorized.

_You awake?_

_You need the cure?_

_Come on Cupcake, WAKE UP!_

As much as I loved him, he _did_ wake me up way too early, so I rudely replied, _I'm UP! What's wrong with you? It's too early!_

_Thought you needed the cure._

_That sounds delicious._ I no longer felt as angry. He'd awakened me early, but he'd still shown he cared by bringing me food. Food won out against my temper.

_Go to your front door._

_What!_ Forgetting my headache, I once again moved faster than my protesting body wanted me too. I was too curious to care.

I flew down the stairs, almost missing a few steps but somehow recovering.

I had a brief moment of panic as I swung open the door before looking through the peephole, but the sight before me made my panic disappear.

There stood the sexiest man alive in my world-made even sexier thanks to the large Coke and fries from McDonalds he was holding.

It took all of my strength not to jump into his arms and hold on for dear life. My head was pounding again and jumping would probably make my semi-solid brain turn to pure mush. Instead, I grabbed the fries and Coke and walked back to the kitchen, leaving the door hanging wide.


	10. Chapter 10

Once again thank you to everyone reading/reviewing/looking! I'm having a great time writing this so it's nice to hear what you all think good or bad!

Again this chapter is thanks to my fabuloso Betas Carol and Julie! I couldn't do this without their support. I'm so lucky to have them as friends!

I own nothing!

* * *

Chapter 10

**Stephanie's POV**

"So what? Six o'clock is the only time you have available to hang out?" I demanded, stuffing my mouth full of the crispy goodness of McDonald's French fries.

"Not necessarily, I needed to hit the road early and thought you could use a little fortification before you go to work."

I rolled my eyes at the thought of work. It was going to be one _very_ long day.

"Not looking forward to it?" he asked, a hint of curiosity in his statement.

"Eh, it's just going to be another day."

If I convinced myself of it, maybe it would be true. Pshh—when had that ever worked?

"Do you like it there?" he questioned while snitching one of my beloved fries.

He chuckled at the glare I threw his way, which made my head pound. I went over to my purse to grab my handy travel bottle of Tylenol, trying my best to act as if his presence wasn't affecting me. I _didn't_ want to scare him away. If I acted upon the giddiness I was feeling, he'd run screaming in the opposite direction. My stomach was turning not only with acid from too much alcohol but massive monarch butterflies as well.

"It's okay—mostly paperwork and calls. I don't find myself in trouble anymore so that's a perk." I tossed back two capsules and chased them with my coke.

"No trouble, huh? Are you sure?" He raised his eyebrows waiting for me to answer.

"Yes!" I said in a tone dictating he should drop what he was hinting at. No doubt he'd seen the confrontation with Alex yesterday, and not only was I severely hung-over but embarrassed as well.

"If you say so. You'd tell me differently if you were, right?"

We stared into each other's eyes for a moment. Momentarily sidetracked by what those eyes could do to me when they turned that lovely shade of melted chocolate, I had to snap myself back into the here and now. He was gauging if I was about to tell the truth, and I was waging which way to go.

"Listen, if I felt I was in trouble, I'd be able to handle it. There aren't any crazy axe murderers around here going after me."

He nodded, seemingly satisfied with my answer but the concern was still on his face.

"Have you been able to speak to any of your coworkers? Feel anything out yet?" he asked, changing subjects. God this man knew me so well. Instead of pushing me he'd switched gears instead.

"No, I stay to myself mostly," I replied, licking the last of the salt from my fingers. "Plus, I was on vacation all last week. Have you had any more leads?" I'd been disappointed I hadn't heard anything around the office about the thefts. I'd thought it would be the perfect way to get Joe back into my life on a regular basis. Turned out I just needed to get too drunk for my own good instead.

"Yeah, I told Marisa when I saw her last week that we got a lead on a truck the cargo ring has targeted. Some of your merchandise is on there—among others of course."

"Really?" I drawled. My interest was definitely piqued. I loved a good mystery—when my life didn't hang in the balance of it at least.

"Yeah, Manoso's got an informant on the street. Gave him the lead and everything has checked out so far. The truck should be on the road this Friday, so all we can do is sit and wait."

"You're working with Ranger?" I asked incredulously.

How the hell did those two men always end up around each other constantly? Considering Joe had been working on this case for at least the last eight or nine months, I was sure Ranger had to have been involved for almost as long. It was a wonder neither had killed each other yet.

"Yeah," he snorted, "It's from a distance, and so everyone is safe from our fists."

"That's not funny," I chastised, as the memories of the blows they'd thrown at one another in Hawaii swam into focus.

"No, no, it's not," he agreed, sobering, "Are we still on for Wednesday?"

"Wednesday? What's Wednesday?" I asked, completely stymied.

"Well, I _thought_ I was coming over for dinner. You even promised to _make_ dinner." Amusement was evident in his voice.

We must have made plans after my third shot. Hell—it could've been after my first shot, because I couldn't remember too much after that. Sadly, I remembered everything _before_ I'd started on the hard liquor, and I wanted to forget everything about _that_.

He let out a full-bodied laugh this time, obviously following my train of thought. I couldn't help but smile, and, since my headache was starting to die, I even let out a little laugh too. This man in front of me knew me so well.

"What time did we decide on? I promise to remember this time," I said, smirking. At least this would give me something to look forward to this week.

"Six thirty. Are you really going to make dinner, or are you going to buy something frozen?"

"Hey now," I went to defend myself, but Mary Lou had made her way downstairs and chimed in.

"Hey handsome, I thought I heard your voice," she said by way of greeting to Joe, and, smiling at me, added, "She can cook. Her sauce may be jarred but she's on to something."

She already had the coffee going and the smell of a fresh brew was making its way around the kitchen.

"Good morning to you too," I said sardonically, letting her know I didn't like how she'd left me out of her morning greetings. "For the record," I said to Joe, "we'd had a busy day, and we wanted something to eat and fast."

"Jarred sauce or homemade—I'm coming over early just to watch you in action. I never thought there'd ever be a confirmed sighting of Stephanie Plum in the kitchen—cooking," he joked.

"Actually she took cooking lessons," Mary Lou piped up—again. She was staring at me with a funny expression on her face. Slipping behind Joe, she pointed at her hair. _Huh?_

The look of shock on Joe's face was laughable—and I did. Ignoring Mary Lou, I laughed long and hard.

"Cupcake?" he asked quizzically, and my heart stopped momentarily at his use of my nickname. "You took _cooking_ lessons?"

"Yeah, I was looking to be _something different,_ and that's what I decided to do."

All laughter died in the room. A look of guilt passed across Joe's face, and I internally beat myself up for having used his words against him. I blamed my now mild headache.

"Anyone want coffee?" Mary Lou asked, breaking the tension. She was still staring at me strangely.

"I'll get some in a second," Joe replied, "I gotta hit the road before traffic hits hard."

Now I really wished I hadn't opened my mouth. Joe was barely looking at me, and I wanted to cherish any moment with him I could. Clearly I hadn't this time around. _Why wasn't he looking at me?_ Could my words have affected him that much? They'd been _his_ words! He was the one to have used them first!

"Oh? Where you heading? It's still early," Mary Lou questioned him, probably knowing I wanted a little more time with Joe. I had a while before I needed to get ready for work anyway. "We're heading home after Steph leaves for work. Traffic should be pretty much nonexistent by then."

"Headed there myself. Mooch is ready to bring Bob to the pound."

"What!" I exclaimed, jumping off of my stool, "You can_not_ be serious?"

"No—but Shirley's about ready to kill him, so I'm going there to bring him back with me." He sounded beyond exasperated.

"Omigod! Can you bring him with you Wednesday?" With the hopeful sound in my voice, he couldn't possibly have said no. Probably there'd been some pleading mixed in there as well.

"Sure." The smile that adorned his face was almost blinding.

I was reminded why I loved the man so much. How much I missed him. And how I hadn't thanked him—yet.

"Thank you so much, Joe, for bringing this," I said, pointing to my now empty fry and coke containers. "And thanks for stopping by when you've been so busy." I tried my best sultry voice and dazzling smile.

Mary Lou waved her hands in the air to get my attention, and again tried to make a subtle hand gesture toward me. She cupped her hands around her head and lifted them high above her. She was trying to tell me something, but I couldn't figure it out for the life of me. She laughed when I shook my head, and I shot her a looking telling her to 'shut it'.

"No problem, Cupcake. You mind if I take some of this to go?" he pointed to the coffee.

"Of course not," I said, still looking at Mary Lou to try and figure her out.

Joe turned to pour himself a cup of coffee when Mary Lou lifted a chunk of her hair and teased it.

"What?" I mouthed, and she gave an exasperated sigh.

She acted as if I were testing _her_ patience, when in reality she was _more_ than testing _mine_. She again grabbed her hair with one hand and made the 'crazy' gesture with her index finger circling her temple. She looked over at Joe at the same time I did, and it was clear we'd been caught—or at least Mary Lou had been. I hadn't done anything.

He laughed and shook his head, saying, "You two."

"You drive safe," he ordered Mary Lou lightly and walked over to me. I was hoping for a kiss, but instead he chucked me under the chin. _Not this again!_ "And I'll see you Wednesday."

I walked with him to the door hoping beyond hope that maybe, just maybe, he wouldn't want to leave—and that he'd give me an even better reason to call in sick other than an awful hangover. I was seriously dreading work, and the prospect of spending a day with Joe was a great thought even when I _wasn't_ dreading the day to come.

"Thanks again, Joe," I said with a quiver in my voice.

Jeez—suck it up! He'd be back in two days—unless he changed his mind.

_Which he'd better no_t!

Joe sighed. He knew me well enough that I'm sure he'd sensed my not wanting him to leave.

"Like I said, it's really not a problem. I wanted to make sure you were still alive for our date on Wednesday." Pulling on one of my curls, he smiled.

God, his smile was gorgeous.

_Wait! Did he just say date?_

He noticed his fumble as soon as I did. "I mean _dinner_—dinner on Wednesday."

I nodded and opened the door for him. I wanted so much to kiss him, tell him how much I loved him and never let him go, but now was not the time.

When this workday was over, I'd come up with a game plan for Wednesday.

"Let me know if you hear anything at work today—okay, Cupcake?" he asked as he stepped out the door.

"I will, Joe." I gave him a sad smile. The further he walked away from me the more I didn't want him to leave.

If I hadn't been in hot pink terry cloth short shorts and tank top, I would've run after him, yelling at him to come back—screaming that this was where he belonged.

I watched him get into his car and start it before I shut the door and locked it. Turning around, Mary Lou was right there with her arms open to me. Not able to resist the comfort she would most definitely bring me, I willingly walked into them and broke down.

"Wednesday will be here in no time," she soothed. When I didn't calm down, she tried another tactic to take my mind off of Joe. "I hate to do this to you, but you should really go look in the mirror."

I picked my head up and frowned. _What was she talking about?_

I went into the downstairs bathroom and let out a strangled scream.

"Joe saw me like this? _You_ saw what I looked like and didn't tell me?" I fumed at her.

"I _did_ try to tell you," she defended herself; doing the stupid hand gestures my clouded brain hadn't understood earlier. "When you were trying out your sex kitten roll, you were more like a matted kitten." She shrugged. "But look on the bright side—he didn't see the mascara you now have all over your face."

"Omigod! What kind of friend are you?" I yelled.

My hair was a freaking disaster—frizzy and going in every direction! Drool may have made chunks of it stick together. Mascara was now smudged all over my cheeks due to the tears, but I could tell it had been smeared above my eyes _before_ crying.

"Shhhh, Steph—calm down. You can't tell me Joe hasn't seen you looking worse before."

I sputtered at that, because he _had_ most definitely seen me looking worse. This was different though—I wanted to win him back. You can't win back a man when you look like a tornado had come and hit your head!

"Do you really think I'm going to calm down?" I stomped my foot.

_Was she kidding me?_ By getting my mind off of Joe she may have started something bigger.

"No," she rolled her eyes at me, "but you need to, otherwise you're going to have two—possibly three—very annoyed boys throwing a bigger tantrum than you are now."

"Whatever." I huffed. "They don't look like this." I said, pointing to my rat's nest of a head.

"Shut up, beautiful. Go get in the shower, and I'll bring you coffee when you're out."

Calming down because there was not a single thing I could do about the way Joe had seen me, I said, "You're a great friend, Mare. I don't think I tell you that often enough. What time are you leaving?"

"No thanks needed," she brushed me off. "Lenny doesn't have to work today, so I thought we'd leave right when you do for work—_if_ you ever go to work."

I rolled my eyes and went upstairs and made myself presentable for the day.

Thank God for Joe having brought me the cure. It wasn't the Tylenol that had gotten rid of my headache. It'd been the food and his presence.

The thought of seeing him again so soon would be what got me through the next two days.

* * *

**Joe's POV**

After leaving Steph's house, I headed toward Trenton to pick up Bob. No sooner had I turned the first corner, than I decided to pull over on the side of the road. Thumping my head against the steering wheel a couple of times, I shook my head.

_Why had I stopped by?_

Duh—because I still loved her.

All my reasons of why we shouldn't be together disappeared every time I was around her, which is what had gotten us into our current position in the first place—along with the time before that—and the time before that. It must be the same for her; otherwise, we wouldn't have ended up in the stupid cycle to begin with.

She was like a fucking cosmic pull to me. No matter how much I wanted to I couldn't stay away.

I was excited for dinner on Wednesday and shouldn't have been surprised when she'd asked me to bring Bob along. It would be Rex, Bob, Steph and me—our happy family once again.

I was shocked to hear she'd learned how to cook. _For me?_ When she'd said it was 'to be something different', it'd felt like she'd backhanded me across the face.

Those were the words I'd used to break it off.

In truth it hadn't been something different I'd been wanting. I'd just wanted a one hundred percent commitment from her. Something had set me off that day when I'd found myself in her apartment with the intention of breaking up with her—for good. I'd already been set on letting her go, because our yo-yo relationship had been taking a toll on both of us. Then I'd called her at least twenty times, and she'd never answered. I hadn't been able to help but think her phone had been off because she'd been with fucking Manoso. Or should I say I'd thought she'd _been _fucking Manoso.

We'd tried not being together before, but that had been because we were mad at one another. I knew if I was a prick and told her she wasn't what I wanted, then that would be the end of it—the end of us.

And it had worked—like a charm.

And I'd _hated_ every moment of my life without her thus far if I were being totally honest with myself.

After the shit week I'd had last week, this one was looking up. Starting Monday morning off with seeing Stephanie had been a good start. Seeing her house had been amazing. She'd always been so casual about her old apartment. No mementos lying around and no decorations. It'd been a place where she ate and slept. This house hadn't been anything like that. There'd been plenty of decorations from what I could see in the downstairs. It looked well lived in, clean and homey. I missed that feeling. It was how my house had always felt when she was there with me.

Thinking about my home made me more homesick than usual. You can take a guy out of the Burg, but you can't take the Burg out of the guy. Suddenly I missed my life of months ago—the small town atmosphere, the local food and the stupid gossip flowing like a waterfall. At least there I'd always been aware of what Steph had been up to. I hadn't even had to ask if anyone had heard what she was up to. They'd call me—my mom and various members of my family, my brothers at the precinct and even Ranger.

_Sigh._

Not here.

And with the way that dickwad Alex had treated her yesterday, I wanted even more to be abreast of how things were going with her. Since I didn't know all the men and women at the precinct in Philly as well as I did at home, I couldn't ask them to keep an eye out for her. I guess I'd just have to be more involved in her life myself.

Feeling as though I had a good enough excuse to put myself in her life—other than the truth of how I really _wanted_ to be there—I headed off to the little town that would always be my home no matter how far away I was living.

* * *

**Steph' POV**

My headache returned as soon as I stepped foot into my office later that morning. Dave was whizzing around gathering all the reports and stuffing them in manila folders. He was also setting up all the samples I needed to go through from last week.

I'd forgotten that taking time off work from a job where there were things on deadlines meant you returned and paid for your leisurely time off. Not that my entire time off had been all that stress free, but I'd needed the break.

Now that I was at my desk I felt like the world was crowding me.

"You have ten minutes to wake up. I heard about yesterday, and you are just going to have to put one foot in front of the other," Dave insisted, taking charge of the situation. "Alex will be gone again next week."

I looked over at him with a furrowed brow.

"I heard Jessica talking on the phone," he added by way of explanation. "That means you only have five days, and then he's gone for two more weeks."

"Five days," I whined, "and then I have forever before Marisa comes back."

I looked and sounded like a petulant child, but it was exactly how I felt. I wanted out of Macy's. I didn't care what I did, but I knew I didn't want to be there sitting in this chair anymore.

That's me—Stephanie Plum, never satisfied with what she has.

"It's only six months more. What did The Little Engine That Could say?" he cajoled me.

"Uh, I think I can?"

"Yes—and what happened?"

"He did?"

"You got it! And you _can_ do this. Now get up and pull up those big girl panties and get your ass in the meeting," he ordered.

Just to be a jerk, I said, "You said I'm wearing big girl panties. Does that mean you just called me fat?"

"Wh—What! No—I meant, you know, like, umm, as in 'I'm a big kid now'." He sang the Pull-Ups song. "Not that you're fat. You think I'd call you fat? Jeez, Stephanie. I didn't call you fat. Why would I call you fat?"

His reaction was exactly what I needed to get my butt into the conference room. If I said the right thing, I could make Dave sputter like Albert, and it always made me laugh. Thinking of Albert forced me to make a mental note to check up on my sister after the meeting.

Oh—and Lula too. She had a second date coming up with a man she thought was _the_ one, and so I wanted to see how that went.

"No bake off needed, girlfriend," she'd told me in our last conversation when we'd been out looking for a skip last week. "You know that really juicy piece of prime rib in the middle? The perfect amount of red meat mixed with fat? That's him. He is the best cut of prime rib of my _life_!"

I like prime rib and all, but I'd had to change the analogy to cake to really get what she'd been saying.

Joe and cake.

Mmmmm.

Joe was the perfect mix of moist chocolate cake with fattening vanilla frosting—with roses. Or chocolate frosting. Or vanilla cake with chocolate frosting. Screw the roses—any combination was good to me.

And that was Joe. The perfect man—most of the time. Except when he'd broken up with me.

_Sigh. _

Wednesday I would broach the topic of giving us another try. If he had any questions about why or how, I'd answer them honestly and win his heart back. He still cared. He'd showed that by coming by this morning. As a result, I was absolutely refusing to give up hope. Nope. Not me. It was time stubborn Stephanie kicked into high gear.

The entire monthly meeting Joe was on my mind. _What was I going to make for dinner? What if I messed it up and burnt it? What was I going to wear? How was I going to do my hair?_ Argh! Too bad I hadn't made an appointment with Mr. Alexander when I'd been in Trenton.

I needed to go for a grocery store run as soon as I got off work later that day.

Paul, the cosmetics purchaser, nudged me and gave me a stern look. I gave him a dirty one back, not knowing why he'd been so pushy about getting my attention—when Alex spoke.

"_Stephanie,_ I suggest you start paying attention," he said snidely.

As if I cared about how all the other departments were performing! I gave Paul an apologetic look. He'd just been looking out for my well-being.

"I—"

"Don't bother giving me an excuse. You are _obviously_ too preoccupied to do your _job_. Was a week away from your desk not enough for you?" Alex's tone was harsh and his eyes narrowed. Mary Lou had been right. His eyes _had_ taken on a crazed look. They were hard and dark.

Not waiting for my response, he went on, "You need to focus if you want to keep your job."

There were audible gasps, and the jaws of everyone in the room were agape. But _nothing_ was louder than the choked laugh I'd allowed to break through.

"It is your turn, Stephanie," Alex continued. "All of your coworkers would appreciate your respect in listening to them while we finish going around the table."

I opened my mouth to let him have a piece of _my_ mind, but better judgment came through for once, and I decided to let his words and attitude slide—for now. I'd have to come up with a plan of action for Alex. If we'd been anywhere but at work, there would have been no way I'd let his behavior go. Seeing as we _were_ at work, however, I didn't want to give the office biddies any more chitchat than what they'd just been handed.

I took in a deep breath and started stating the monthly sales figures for my department. I was about to move on with next month projections when Alex interrupted.

"That's all you bought and then sent to the stores?" he asked, and Jessica, his assistant who was to his right taking notes, snickered.

"It's a five percent improvement from last year and in a down economy that is a _good_ thing," I hissed back at him. "If you'd waited a moment, you would have found that next month our projected buying is going up almost nine percent based off of last month's sales."

"Keep going then," he barked. His voice was much louder than it had been prior to his little outburst. Never in any of the meetings I'd been in with him had he ever questioned anyone on their sales numbers. He was singling me out, and I was most definitely not appreciating it.

I went on and finished my part of the meeting. The moment everyone was done with his or her projections, however, I started gathering up my paperwork. I was still fuming over Alex's treatment of me, and my first order of business when I made it back to my desk was to call human resources. Surely they could help me, or at the very minimum document Alex's behavior.

Before I could make it through the crowd of people leaving the conference room, Jessica approached me.

"Don't forget Ashley is coming tomorrow for an interview—since you don't know how to do your job." She laughed a sinister type laugh. "I thought it was my job to remind you."

"Thanks for the reminder, but none was needed. I know how to do my job. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to do just that." I rolled my eyes and exited the room. In the hallway, Barbara was talking to Alex. He was deep in conversation with her when I strode past. Lifting his eyes from Barb, he gave me a penetrating gaze.

I tried to ignore the shiver that ran down my spine when our eyes met. I _needed_ to find my gun and pepper spray. I'd searched on Saturday night for my gun, but hadn't been able to find it. Probably it was in a box in the storage shed in my backyard. Ugh! Another item to add to my ever-growing list of to-dos for the evening.

"Any messages?" I asked Dave when I passed his cubicle.

"None. Alex is here and not out of town." He laughed at his own joke, and I gave him an icy glare in return. "Oh—Sue stopped by, wondering if you all were still on for lunch at Jed's."

"As far as I know we are," I said, stepping into my office.

I looked around at the mayhem that was my office and sighed. My eyes hadn't been fully open when I'd stopped in earlier, and now, with a clearer head, the damage was almost too much. There were papers everywhere—on the desk, side table, even on my guest chairs. I thought _I_ was unorganized, but I'd come a long way since I'd started at Macys. My desk was _usually_ extremely clean, but having had Marisa take over for a week meant I was starting at square one again. She knew her job and did it well. She just never put anything away. I smiled at the thought of when I'd first started working here. Marisa had been immensely pregnant and constantly going on food runs.

Thankfully, I'd lost all the weight I'd had gained following my break-up with Joe. I just needed to overlook the fact it'd been because of Alex.

The paper organization could wait. I had human resources to talk to and lunch with the ladies at Jed's.

* * *

"What was done to you was an injustice. You can't stand back and just take their word for it," Sue, from Juniors, exclaimed. She was angrier than I'd been at Alex's embarrassing treatment of me.

"You have witnesses, Stephanie. There is no way you can let him get away with his—his despicable behavior," Amy agreed.

It was the usual after monthly meeting lunch with Sue and Amy from Misses. Of course they'd both been in our little conference room during Alex's outburst. Human Resources had said there was nothing they could do to reprimand him "at this time'. However, if it continued, he would be written up, and the write up would go into his employee file for six months.

I'd asked what would happen after he received his slap on the wrist for demeaning an employee, and her response had been, 'He would get another write up. It really is a lengthy process before he would get in real trouble, Ms. Plum. We are talking about Alex MacLaine, correct? I'm looking at his file and we've never had an issue with him."

I'd scoffed at that and had politely thanked her for her time before hanging up.

I couldn't imagine he'd never been written up before. Probably if he had been, his write up had been thrown away seeing as they only stayed in a file for six months.

"At least they have it on file that I called and complained," I said to the group at my table. "She told me that covers my ass in case he tries to say I did something wrong. At least I'd know I'd goten my call in first," I finished triumphantly.

"Did they say anything else? I swear I have never—and I mean _never_ seen a meeting run like that. Alex is always so calm. He almost never talks in meetings unless it's to joke. Today it was like he was ready to pounce as soon as you opened your mouth," Amy observed, wiping her mouth.

"Yeah, did you see the dirty looks? It was funny." I shook my head and laughed.

"Whom are you talking about? Jessica or Alex?" Sue said laughing with me before adding, "Isn't Marisa's husband an attorney?" I shrugged my shoulders. I had no idea.

"He's a tax attorney," Amy corrected her.

I knew it'd been something with numbers!

"Let's talk about something else," I suggested. "Like Dave's going away party since we didn't let the assistants come. That's what we're supposed to be talking about."

"Yeah, but I can't get over the meeting." Amy sighed.

"We have no choice. I'm just going to document everything Alex says or does and eventually something's got to give." I didn't want to waste any more time thinking about Alex the jackass.

Hmmm, I had an ex-husband I called a horse's ass, and now I was calling an ex-boyfriend a donkey's ass. What was I going to add next—a Cow's ass?

No! I wouldn't be adding any more asses to my collection except for the best ass in the world—Joseph Anthony Morelli's. And once I got his, I was going to make sure it stayed put where it should've been all along.

In my hot little hands.

* * *

By the grace of God, I was somehow able to not run into Alex for the remainder of the day. Dave and I came up with a plan of action for our interview with Ashley tomorrow. Since he knew the ins and outs of exactly what needed to be done in his position, I wanted him right by my side during the interviews.

We'd had twelve candidates apply, but on paper Ashley had been the only one that truly qualified. We would interview four more people that had come close. Basically my Tuesday would be packed. I had five conference calls with vendors on top of the interviews on my agenda.

Since I didn't want to think about what tomorrow would bring, I thought about something more positive as I made my way out to my car-namely what I was going to make Joe for dinner come Wednesday night. And what I was going to wear. I wanted to go shopping, but I didn't have a buddy to go with since Marisa had never returned my call from earlier, and I didn't want to go alone.

I picked up my phone to dial Marisa when Alex came out of nowhere.

_Shit!_

He ripped my phone out of my hand and dropped it on the ground. With his other hand, he yanked my wrist just like he had the previous day at the barbecue. This time he held on tight—too tight.

"We need to talk," he ground out.

"Alex," I said, trying to keep a stoic appearance. Best not to let him know just how scared I was. "I think we're done talking. I said what I needed to and frankly—" I paused, taking a deep breath because his hold was so tight. Without a doubt it was going to leave a bruise. "Frankly, I don't give a shit what you have to say. We. Are. Over. Now let me go." I demanded, trying to take back my arm with all my strength.

"I can't let you go," he said. His fingers dug deeper into my skin.

"You don't have a choice. Now let me go before I start screaming."

"You won't fucking scream! Do you _hear_ me?"

As I opened my mouth to go directly against what he was telling me, he covered my mouth with his hands. It felt like an eternity, but could have only been ten minutes or less that I stood there being berated by Alex. I had found myself in countless scary situations, and this was probably a top three on 'Bad Situations Stephanie Has Found Herself In'.

Not soon enough, Mark, Marisa's husband, came screeching to a halt in front of us. His face was a dark red, and the cords on his neck were sticking out.

I wondered if he was Italian. He looked an awful lot like Joe did when he got mad. He'd reminded me of Joe again with the squealing of his tires too.

"Get your hands off of her," Mark ordered, using both hands to shove Alex away from me. "Who the fuck do you think you are? I told you to stay away from her, and you didn't listen."

"I'm her _boss_," Alex yelled.

"And her work day is over. She isn't even in the building. You better get your ass inside that building or get home. I'll be watching." He shoved Alex again.

I was rooted to the asphalt. I couldn't move. What had just happened? I just stood there staring.

Alex looked my way, but Mark used his strength to turn him toward the building.

Reluctantly, Alex started walking away with Mark and me watching him. Before he made it into the building, he made sure to turn around and give me an icy glare, to which I gave him my middle finger.

"Not that I don't appreciate your coming, but how'd you know?" I asked Mark.

He laughed and bent to pick up my phone.

"You still there?" he spoke into it. "You recorded it? Okay, good. Don't worry about it. I'll do that. Love you too. Give them a kiss for me." He hung up and handed me my phone, which was amazingly still intact albeit scratched and cracked from Alex's tossing of it.

"Marisa," He answered my dumbfounded look. "You'd dialed her, and she heard Alex, so she called me from the house phone. I was on my way home from work and flipped a U-turn. Did you call her because he was here?"

"Uh, no. I—I just wanted to go shopping," I replied, and my lips started to quiver. Now that the adrenaline was subsiding I felt the urge to cry and then sleep.

Mark brought me into a one-armed hug and started patting my back. The geyser inside of me burst into obnoxious choking sobs.

"Shhhh, it's alright now. Come on—let's go home." Mark started walking me toward his passenger door.

"But—but my car. I ca—can't leave it here. How am I sup—supposed to get to work?" I got out in gasps.

"You're coming home with me. Marisa can bring you back or drop you off in the morning." He tucked me into his car.

"Okay, thank you again, Mark." I gave him a watery smile.

He nodded his head, turned on the car and stared driving. I was asleep within seconds.

The next time I awakened I was lying in a feathery canopy bed. I bolted upright not knowing where I was or how I'd arrived here.

I heard a light knock on the door and let out a little shriek. A baby's coo came from the other side, and suddenly the smell of the Chance household hit my nostrils.

"Come in," I croaked.

Sophia's eyes lit up as did mine when I saw her. They went even brighter when I saw what was in Marisa's other hand—cake.

I put my arms out, and Marisa asked, "Which one do you want? My baby or the cake?"

I laughed and said, "Both, but I want chubs McGee first."

Marisa sat Sophia on the bed with me, and she started crawling away.

"No way—you get back here," I said, pulling Sophia onto my lap. I let out a grateful sigh.

"You want to talk about it?" Marisa asked me after letting me raspberry Sophia a few times.

"No, but I know you well enough to know you won't let me _not_ talk about it."

She laughed, and it was such a nice thing to hear after my torturous day. I needed to hear and do it myself, and Marisa's laugh was perfect for such a need. Once she started laughing, you couldn't help but do the same thing. So I did. I hadn't a clue why I was laughing, but I howled until tears streamed down my cheeks.

Marisa lunged toward me and squeezed the living daylights out of Sophia and me. It wasn't until Sophia let out a scream that Marisa let us go.

"I'm so sorry, Steph," she apologized, tears running down her face—no longer from laughter. "If I would've known, I never would've said anything to him or you."

"I know, and I've told you—"

"I just hope that one day you'll be able to forgive me," she talked right over me.

"There is nothing to—"

"Yes there is!" she cried louder. "What kind of person sets up a friend with a freaking psycho?"

"A friend that didn't know any better!" I yelled at her, feeling as though that was the only way to get through to her. "If saying, 'Okay, Marisa, I forgive you' makes you feel so much better, then I'll say it!"

Sophia didn't appreciate the volume of our conversation and let out a loud baby babble of her own, which again made us burst out in laughter.

"Since you're staying here tonight—"

Marisa had long ago earned the reputation of not letting others speak, so of course she didn't let me protest when I tried.

"And because you called me for the purpose of shopping, we are going to the mall. Get your shoes on." She shook her head when I again tried to protest.

"I'm really not up for this tonight, Marisa." I grumbled as I got into her car a few minutes later.

"You will be. Did I hear you and Mister Detective have a date this week? My bet is you have no lingerie or at least not a single pair of sexy panties. What else brightens a mood more than thinking about a man like _that_ next to you?"

"That man naked next to me?" I inquired.

"Uh huh," she agreed.

"With cake?"

"You haven't had much cake lately, have you?" she teased.

"Nope—and you didn't even give me a chance to eat the piece you brought me," I whined.

"It will be there when we get home. You can enjoy it while envisioning yourself in your new purchases with Joe and cake."

Jeez, she knew how to make me cave. Thinking of cake and Joe made my heart skip a beat. It seemed likely that both were a possibility on Wednesday. Even if I didn't get the chance to mix the two, I was elated that he wanted to at least spend time with me again.

Thank God for savings accounts! Marisa and I did serious damage—as in I spent over half of a usual paycheck at Victoria's Secret alone. Of course it hadn't been my fault. It'd been _all_ Marisa's fault.

Every bra panty or baby doll she'd picked up she'd 'Oohed and aahed' over it, telling me how great it would look against my skin and then say, "Hey look—here's your size."

She'd then pushed me into the fitting room. Once there, I'd diligently tried on each and every item, looked in the mirror and pictured Joe's face. That's all I'd needed to make me say 'yes' to purchasing each item. Of course I already knew Joe would appreciate my wearing all of it—or none of it. Even my infamous granny panties hadn't persuaded him to back off, so I wasn't too concerned with disappointing him.

Sigh, if only I could turn back the time. Since I knew that wasn't a possibility, I needed to focus on the future. Winning back Joe _was_ my future, and those purchases were justified by that thought alone.

We'd barely made it to Macy's in time to pick out a work outfit for tomorrow before they'd closed.

We were both exhausted by the time we'd made it back to Marisa's. All the kids were in bed, but Mark had stayed up waiting for us.

"Did you two buy out the mall?" he wondered, smiling at me and leaning in for a 'welcome home' kiss to Marisa. I let out an envious sigh.

"Just about—you know how it is," Marisa replied.

"I don't know how it is, but I do know what it's like to shop with you." He winked at me.

"If you no longer want to get the best Christmas and birthday presents, I suggest you keep going. If you want to see what I bought," she said, dangling the pink-stripped bag in front of his face, "I suggest you take the alternate route and keep it quiet."

"You know, I am feeling a little tired." Mark feigned a yawn and stretched.

"Mmmm hmmm, yeah, I'll let you two go to bed." I teased, "Are you sure you're okay with driving me to work?" I asked Marisa.

"Of course!" She patted my head and I tossed her arm away. "Even if I'm not, Mark has to go to work," she assured me.

"Alright—then I'll see you in the morning. Night." I gave them both hugs and made my way into the guest room.

I put all my bags on the dresser and changed into my new pajamas. Usually I liked to wash my clothes before wearing them. I wasn't about to sleep naked or in my work skirt, however, so I did what I had to.

Settling in my bed, I realized how tired I was. I hadn't forgotten Lula though. My sister was sure to have already gone to bed, so she'd have to wait until tomorrow.

"Girlfriend! Are you prepared to be a mother truckin' bridesmaid?" Lula asked by way of greeting.

The wonders of caller ID.

"Excuse me?" I laughed, not understanding what she'd just said.

"I'M GETTING MARRIED!" She yelled excitedly.

Uh oh.

"Was this a mutual engagement?" I questioned, remembering the Tank fiasco.

"_Huhn_. What're you sayin'?"

"Nothing really. Just—" I faltered.

She let out a giant laugh.

"I'm just messin' with you, girlie. _He_ proposed to _me_. And you're gonna be my bridesmaid or whatever the important one is."

"Maid of Honor?"

"I don't know, and I don't care what they call ya. All I know is I'm GETTING MARRIED!" She yelled again.

"Okay, got it. Um—congratulations. Second date and a proposal, huh?"

"You know it! Now when you coming back into town?"

"Not sure," I replied. "I'm waiting to see when Grandma's surgery is."

"You let me know. We need to do some shoppin'."

"I think I'm done shopping for at _least_ a year."

"Say what? No way, not you! What happened? I've known you to be more broke than your hamster, and you _still_ shop."

I proceeded to tell Lula about the day's events and how I ended up with more shopping bags than any one person should ever be allowed to have.

"Girl, I could use a few days off. I'm coming up there to protect your skinny ass—and get some meat on your bones too. I can't have you that skinny if you're gonna be _my_ bridesmaid. You won't show up in the pictures. You got any tanning places around there? We hafta get you in one of them too. Maybe I could bronze my sweet body up too."

"No, Lula. It's okay. I'll be fine."

As much as I'd love to have Lula keep me company, she'd probably put an unintentional damper on my dinner with Joe.

"I ain't takin' no for an answer! I'll be up there tomorrow. What's your address? I'll Google directions."

"No, Lula—you don't understand. Why don't I call you when I know when Grandma's appointment is?"

"I _said_ I'd protect you. Now give me your address."

I sighed. I didn't want to tell Lula the truth, knowing she'd give me hell.

"Joe's coming over for dinner this week, and well, I'd like some privacy."

"Officer Hottie's coming over? Oh, girl, you have to call with all the deets."

"Deets?" I asked.

"_Details_," she explained with a huff, and then went on to chastise, "I don't know how you go through life without knowin' the English language."

Instead of arguing, I agreed. After promising to call her with all the 'deets' of my dinner with Joe along with when I'd be back in town, we hung up, and I tried to fall asleep.

Every time I'd close my eyes Alex's face would appear, and I'd sit straight up. I'd then have to wait until my heart slowed to a regular beat before I could lie down again.

Finally, I pictured Joe lying next to me, holding me and rubbing my back. The beauty of that picture was the only thing that eventually allowed me to fall to sleep.


	11. Chapter 11

First and foremost, I want to send a big shout out _the best_ Betas in the _**UNIVERSE **_BlackhawkCarol and jmts2012. You two have helped me SO much throughout this 'journey'. I am incredibly lucky to have you both in my life. I may not have needed the content help as much this chapter but your pep talks got me through and here we are! We have a chapter! Thank you so very, very much!

I know I _already_ take forever to update but I am taking a temporary hiatus. Don't expect much from me in the next few weeks. Writing may put a damper on my mini-honeymoon :-)

Thank you all for taking the time to read, review or think about this story!

I do not own them-they are JE's

Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 11**

**Stephanie's POV**

"Calm down!"

"I can't."

"Yes, you can. Just breathe."

"I—I'm tr—trying." I heard a big gulping breath being taken in.

"Are you better?"

"No!"

"You need to _get_ better, because I have an interview in fifteen minutes and there is nothing I can do for you from here."

"Stephanie! How can you act like this _isn't_ a big deal?"

"Because I'm not the one who's possibly pregnant?" I tried.

"It wasn't supposed to happen this fast! It was supposed to take time! It's not like I'm in my twenties like I was with Mary Alice and Angie. I'm going to swell up even more than I did with Lisa! We're barely getting back on our feet."

"But it _was_ supposed to happen?"

"Yes," Valerie said weakly.

"Okay. What's the saying? You play you pay? You played, and you're paying, and everything will be just fine."

"If _you_ were in my situation, you'd be freaking out! I can't believe I did this," she gushed.

"Trust me when I say I haven't done any playing recently, so yeah, if I turned up pregnant right now, it would be the miracle to end all miracles."

"That isn't what I mean and you know it!" she shrieked in my ear.

"Valerie?" When she didn't reply, I tried a more stern voice. "Valerie!"

"What?"

"Breathe. Go get a glass of cold water, because, as of right now, you don't know for sure if you're going to be a Mom again."

"Steph—"

"Nope, Val—I have to get ready for an interview. I need you to do what I said, and I'll call you later."

"Fine!" she said, and then I heard the slamming of the phone followed by the dial tone.

Placing both elbows on my desk, I dropped my head into my hands. It'd already been a long day, and it was barely past noon. After that call, I had a feeling it was about to get longer.

It still was a wonder to me that Valerie and I had gone from being almost strangers to my being the one she ran to in her time of need. Best not to question things I'll never have the answers for I quickly reminded myself.

My office phone rang again, and I took a deep breath before answering.

"Stephanie Plum, how can I help you?" I greeted the caller.

"It's me," Dave said. "She's here. Are you ready?"

I'd been nervous all day having never interviewed anyone before. I really wished Marisa were going to be beside me, seeing as she'd be the one stuck with whomever I hired for her assistant.

Clearing my throat, I straightened my back.

"The better question is are _you_ ready? Bring her in." I'd aimed for sounding confident. Hopefully, it'd gotten through to him.

I picked up my photo frame of Bob and smiled. I'd be seeing him tomorrow, and I couldn't wait to be on the receiving end of his big kisses. I planned on stopping at the pet store before I went on a grocery run for all my necessary supplies. He would share dinner with us.

My thumb grazed over the small photo booth pictures of Joe and me that I'd placed on my desk after my break-up with Alex. I'd been going through my box of pictures looking for a few to put up around my house when I'd come across the set. It couldn't have been better timing to find the pictures, seeing as I'd been missing my family.

Yet another one of my weak points.

I'd completely forgotten about the pictures. When I found them, they'd made me laugh—and then cry—for what'd so obviously had shown through the pictures. And yet, I'd missed all the signs completely. I loved Joe, and he'd once loved me. You couldn't doubt it by the last picture. It was my all-time favorite of all the pictures we'd ever taken. We were kissing and his hand was wrapped around the back of my neck, my hand caressing his cheek. There was so much passion in that simple kiss it made my heart ache. Right then I was drawing strength from it to get my nerves under control, and it was hardening my resolve to get him back to loving me.

There was a knock on my office door. Quickly I gave the last photo a kiss.

"Come in," I said and immediately regretted it. I'd been too lost in my thoughts to remember Alex was in today. I'd been doing my best to avoid him.

Thank goodness I wasn't given a reason to regret opening my mouth. It was Dave with Ashley.

Dave came in and gave me a smirk.

"Stephanie, this is Ashley Hallow; Ashley this is Stephanie." Dave introduced us, and I extended my hand to her.

"Please, take a seat," I said, letting professional Stephanie kick in.

Sitting to the left of Dave was an absolutely gorgeous woman. Blonde hair, blue eyed, with a chest that I would be envying if she worked with me. Long, lean legs and a bright smile. She was a few inches taller than me, no doubt thanks to her six-inch heels. I'm from Jersey—I know how to wear heels but not _that_ tall.

Knowing me, I'd break my neck.

I couldn't help but notice the way she was dressed. I love clothes—as in _love_ clothes. Now that I was making good money I had way more pairs of shoes and jeans and shirts than necessary for one person. I had a few high-end items as well, but not nearly as high as Ashley. Everything she wore screamed money—jewelry, skirt, button up top, shoes.

I knew what the competitors paid their purchasers, and Macy's was on the higher end of the scale because they're backed by the Bloomingdales. There was no way on her previous salary with JcPenny she could've afforded all those items unless she lived in a cardboard box. Or maybe her husband made good money. And then I noticed she wasn't wearing a wedding ring. Jessica had said she had a family. Ex-husband? _Hunh—_maybe if nothing else she was a trust fund baby. But I'd been told she wanted this job because it would be less demanding. If she were a trust fund baby, she wouldn't _need_ to work.

Hmmm, she had me thinking.

Dave cleared his throat, giving me a wide-eyed look to move things along.

I cleared my throat as well and gave my head a little shake. She wasn't applying for the position based on what she looked like.

"Thank you for coming in, Ashley," I said.

"My pleasure," she cooed in response. "Thank you for having me."

We went through the standard questions—why did you apply? What are your skills? And so on.

I was usually really good at reading people, but this time I was getting mixed signals. She'd say something, and I'd feel my spine stiffen. Then she'd answer another question, and I'd feel at ease. We went on for about an hour before I realized our next interviewee would be here at any time.

Now I was torn. I really wanted her to work one on one with Dave, but I also wanted him there for my next few interviews.

"Would you mind coming back a little later this afternoon? I'd like to see you and Dave work side by side. That way you can see if this is the type of atmosphere you'd like to work in."

"If Dave doesn't mind showing me the ropes," she responded in a sultry voice, looking directly at Dave. _Oh God!_ Good thing there weren't a whole lot of men in the department. "I would love to come back this afternoon."

"Great," I said, suppressing the major eye roll threatening to come out. "How does three sound?"

"I can definitely do three," Ashley said with her sultry voice, and then she giggled, which grated at my nerve endings. If she kept up her floozy routine, there was no way I was going to hire her. Had she forgotten she was interviewing with a woman? She'd have to _severely_ impress me with her job skills. I'd have to let Dave know not to let her get away with anything.

I stood and extended my hand to her once again. "Great, I appreciate your time, and we'll see you at three."

Throwing me a halfhearted smile, she turned to Dave. He closed his eyes briefly and flashed me look of exasperation before turning toward her and putting on his best fake smile.

"I'll see you out," he offered.

All through the interview I'd heard my cell phone vibrating. I had another ten minutes before Shelly, my next interview, was to start, so I took my cell out of the drawer.

Five missed calls and two new text messages.

Four missed calls were from Lula and one from Marisa. One text was from Lula, and it made my heart jump. It read _EMERGENCY! CALL ME!_

I dialed her number, and it went directly to voicemail. I redialed, and this time she answered out of breath as if she'd run to catch the phone.

"Hey girly, what's crackin'?"

"I was about to ask you the same thing. What's with the calls and message you left me?" I asked confusedly. She didn't sound like there was an emergency.

"Oh yeah, I forgot I sent that. Tasty Pastry wasn't going to make me and my man the cake we wanted for our nuptials—seven layers of marble, chocolate, champagne and strawberry," she said, still panting.

"Okay…" I drawled.

"So I thought since you used to work there, you might be able to pull some strings. We got it all taken care of though."

I sat there dumbfounded. I honestly hadn't had a clue of what to expect when I'd called her back but—seriously? Not this. Realizing I _was_ talking to _Lula,_ I really shouldn't have expected anything less.

"Okay, if that's all you needed, I'm going to go."

"Wait—don't you want to know what we settled on? You're the cake lover!" she shouted. "I woulda thought my cake would be important to you."

"Later. I'll call you later. I have to go. Sorry Lula." I hung up before I had to hear her pout anymore.

I thunked my head on my desk. How had I been able to keep up with her before? Of course I still loved her, but she could be so off the wall sometimes. Probably that's why I'd found myself in so much trouble with her all those years.

My office phone rang, and it was Dave again to alert me to our next interviewee. I rubbed my hand over my head to get rid of the possible imprint my desk may have left.

The next three interviews breezed by, and I was frustrated. Ashley really was looking like our only candidate. Shelly had gone first only to depart early. Her day care had called, because her son had been throwing up everywhere. Samantha, our third interview of the day, had smacked her gum so loudly in between every word we'd ended the interview after twenty minutes, having only gone through an eighth of the questions Macys required for each interview. Danie had appeared to be second in the running on paper, but when she'd shown up in workout attire and _smelling_ like she'd just worked out, I'd been immediately put off. Saying she'd yet to get in a good workout for the day, I definitely crossed her off the list.

Following Danie's departure, Dave and I had plenty of time between my conference call and when Ashley was scheduled to come back in.

"What do you think?" I asked him as he took a seat across from me in the guest chair.

"I don't think we're desperate, but I called my ex-girlfriend that used to work at JC Penny's. She said Ashley's _good_. Can be hell to put up with, but she gets the job done, and that's what matters at the end of the day, right?"

"Yeah, how well do you think she and Marisa would get along?" I questioned.

"You know Marisa. She'll get along with just about anyone."

"You're right. I'm going to take a break and call her. Will you call me and let me know when Ashley gets back?"

He nodded and left my office. Picking up my cell phone to call Marisa, I saw I still had a text message I'd forgotten after Lula's 'emergency' text.

It was from Ranger: _Got questions. Call me._

I knew the man was smart enough to write a full sentence. Then again, it was hard enough at times to get him to _speak_ a full sentence.

Since I knew Marisa was more easily accessible than Ranger, I decided to get his questions out of the way first. Punching in his number, I let it ring, nervously tapping my fingers against my desk while waiting for him to answer.

"Babe."

I rolled my eyes. No hello.

"You still haven't taken Stephanie Plum's phone etiquette class I see."

If Ranger rolled his eyes, this would've been a moment for one.

"Nope, I'm in between meetings, so I can't go into detail as much as I'd like. When will you be back in Trenton?"

"I'll be down there in the next few weeks. Grandma's having surgery, but it'll be a fast trip."

"Everything okay?" he asked. It was nice to hear the concern in his voice. Ranger really was a good guy.

"It will be." _At least I hoped it would be._

"Call me when you know what time works. I'll work around your schedule and make sure Tank's there as well."

"I will. Have a good day. Don't get shot," I said for old time's sake.

"I won't. You're nowhere near me, Babe."

"Funny. I'll call you," I retorted and gave him a taste of his own medicine by hanging up. Or maybe I didn't. Probably he'd already hung up.

I called Marisa and gave her my opinion on Ashley. Together we decided if I still wasn't completely set on hiring her after having her work with Dave, we'd pull her in for _another_ interview and have Marisa attend too. She said she trusted my instincts.

Then Marisa 'the friend' came out.

"How's your day going?" she asked.

"Fine and yours?"

"It's good, and you damn well know what I meant, not that I don't care about your day! Any trouble from Alex?"

"Not a thing—thank God!" I exclaimed.

"Good. Mark is going to talk to one of his buddies. Even if Macys isn't willing to do anything, we aren't going to just sit back and take it!"

"We?" I questioned, "I can handle this. Don't worry, everything will be fine."

That was my motto. The whole philosophy of 'if you believe it—it will come true' was my best friend. It wasn't denial; it was applied science—or whatever.

When Ashley arrived at three, I was still on a conference call with Nine West. Sending Dave an email, I told him to work one on one with her, and I'd catch up with them when I got the chance. Truth was—even though I knew what Dave's role was, I had no idea how to _do_ his job. He'd be the best judge of whether Ashley could get the job done or not.

If we did end up hiring her, it wasn't as though I'd never worked with people I wasn't all that crazy about. I'd worked with Vinnie on numerous occasions, hadn't I? This couldn't be much worse.

Cringing at the though, I knocked on wood.

When I got off the phone, I made a beeline to Dave's desk. The two of them were working on the computer going step by step through one of our report systems.

"Hey guys," I greeted.

Dave gave me a beaming smile and nodded his head with bright eyes. I took that to mean Ashley knew what she was doing, and he liked her.

_Sigh._

Looked like I wasn't going to have a choice but to look past her quirks.

"We're just finishing up," Dave explained, checking his watch. "Shouldn't you be heading out?"

I looked at the time on the computer screen. It was well past my usual clock out time. After yesterday's incident with Alex in the parking lot, I didn't want to walk out alone. I'd been lucky enough not to have run into him all day and didn't want to take any chances.

Dave read my hesitation. "We're going to finish up this run, and then we'll meet you at your office."

Ten minutes later, Dave and Ashley were in my office laughing at a comment Dave had made.

Looking at both of them together, I noticed how cute of a couple they'd make. But then I thought about my uneasiness of Ashley earlier in the day and decided I wasn't about to play matchmaker. If they did develop a relationship, it wouldn't be on me.

All three of us walked out together, and, getting into my car, I heaved a huge sigh of relief. I hadn't realized just how much anxiety I'd been carrying until I unlocked my driver's side door, got in and locked the doors, taking another deep breath.

I stopped by Petsmart to pick up Bob's food and water bowls. Of course I ended up going overboard. I'd really wanted to buy Bob the cool decorated ceramic bowls, but knowing how he moved his bowls while he ate, slamming them into walls and cabinets, I ended up with the indestructible, metal bowls Morelli had at his house. Instead of the small bag of dog food I'd planned on buying, I got the fifty pounder. My hopes were high this wouldn't be the last meal Bob would have at my house.

Of course with those thoughts in mind, I had to pick out some meaty treats for him, and they were buy two get one free. On the way to the register from the treat isle, I had to pass the _huge_ selection of toys. Bob would now have more tennis balls, rope toys, tire chewies and noise-making toys than he'd ever know what to do with.

Not only was I wishing upon a star this would be Joe's and my final 'on-again', but I was also making up for lost time with Bob. My full cartload of dog supplies screamed 'absent parent'.

After loading my car full of Bob paraphernalia, I meandered over to ShopRite. Joe loved pasta. I loved pasta. My best dish was Chicken Parmesan, so it would work out well, along with a side of tossed salad and some garlic bread. I wanted to do a practice run of the meal but decided I wouldn't eat it tomorrow if I tried it tonight. I put every item I needed into my cart—even jarred spaghetti sauce—and was almost to the checkout counter when I thought about drinks. _Wine!_ I needed wine to make this meal complete. Just in case Joe wasn't in a wine mood, I also picked up a six-pack of Corona and a couple limes.

I barely slept Tuesday night—ripe with anticipation for what tomorrow would lead to.

* * *

**Joe's POV**

Turning off the ignition to my car, I swallowed the lump in my throat. I don't do nervous. I couldn't remember the last time my palms had been so sweaty. Every couple minutes on the drive over I'd had to wipe them on my jeans.

It wasn't like this was my first high school date—okay my first date was at the beginning of middle school. Morelli's started young.

Bob must have sensed my nervous energy, because, for the first time ever, the entire drive over he'd laid down. Usually he had his head and half his body out the window in the back. Either that or he was saving all of his energy for Stephanie.

I took a deep breath. I didn't want Stephanie to see me like this—rattled.

"Ready, boy?" I asked Bob as my hand went for the handle.

He answered by perking up his ears and standing up.

As soon as I opened the rear door, he flew out and started running down the sidewalk toward the other houses.

"Bob!" I called at him. Of course he didn't respond.

"Bob!" I yelled, and he continued on.

"Bob, get your ass back here!" I raised my voice even louder and started in his direction.

"Where'd he go?" Came Stephanie's voice from behind me.

"Sorry about that," I said sheepishly. I didn't want her to be upset with me if her neighbors heard me, "He's down there somewhere." Pointing off to the west, I moved to go get him.

What a way to start the night.

"Boooooob," she called, "Come'ere boy!"

No fucking way. Bounding out of someone's garage was Bob, heading in our direction.

"Whoa, whoa, wh—" Steph had her hands out bracing herself for Bob, who was running at her at warp speed. She should've known he wouldn't slow down. He took her out, and she landed hard on her butt with an "Umph!" before she started laughing.

The smile that crept over my face was almost painful because of the sight in front of me.

"Okay! Okay!" she cried, trying to get him off of her. "Mercy! I'll pet you. Just get off me." All the while she was talking, I could hear Bob giving her his best slobbery kisses.

I hope he hadn't gotten into anyone's trash.

"Eeeeewwwwww, I think he just frenched me. Morelli, get him _off_ of me!" she demanded, still laughing.

I was laughing as well and pulled him off of her by his collar.

The 'hello' kiss I was planning came to a screeching halt because of how wet her face was.

There isn't much that is a turn off for me when it comes to Steph, but the thick white drool was getting to me.

"Yuck, Bob! I missed you too, but jeez!" She patted him on the head and scratched behind his ears.

We looked at each other for a few moments before both of us erupted in laughter. Any anxiety I was feeling was now gone thanks to Bob's icebreaker.

"Come on," she waved me toward the house. "I have to clean myself up. I feel like I need another shower."

We had no problem getting Bob into the house after that. Wherever Stephanie would go, Bob was sure to follow.

So would I.

She was beautiful. Tonight I could tell she'd tried the 'I'm not trying to look good, but you have no idea how much effort I put into this' look and as usual she was stunning.

She was wearing blue jeans with a short sleeved, V-neck gray shirt and her pink fuzzy bunny slippers. She'd obviously thrown the latter on when she'd heard me yelling for Bob. Her hair was down, and it was only slightly unruly due to Bob's greeting.

"There's wine and beer in the fridge. Or soda. Help yourself. I really need to wash this off," she told me, circling her hand around her face and smiling.

"Take your time, Cupcake." I assured here and went to the fridge. "Here," I said, passing her a beer, "Bob and I will be down here."

She stared at me for a moment, looking at me with all the love in the world. As much as I wanted to return the favor like I would've in the past, we had a few things to set straight. I had all the confidence in the world we could leap over all the major hurdles we'd faced in the past and come out finishing on top.

Bob barked, making us both jump. Stephanie laughed lightly and headed toward the stairs, while I made my way to the couch.

It wasn't long before she came back downstairs freshly showered—probably the fastest shower I'd ever witnessed her taking. She was frantically running around the kitchen, grabbing a big pot, filling it with water, and mumbling under her breath so low I couldn't understand her.

I walked into the kitchen with my drink and shouldered the door jam.

"Everything okay?"

By now she'd taken what looked like crusted chicken out of the oven and was looking for something in the cabinets, slamming doors left and right, still talking to herself. She hadn't looked up at me once.

"Cupcake," I said, stopping her with my hands on her shoulders, as she went for another cabinet. "Can I help you with anything?"

She wiped the sweat from her brow with the back of her arm and shook her head.

"No. I just can't find the freaking sauce!" She looked utterly panicked.

"It's okay. Is it jarred?" I joked and immediately regretted it when I noticed the sparkle from her eyes diminish right before they took on a fiery rage.

"Do you have a problem with that? I thought Mary Lou and I'd forewarned you. Fine! You have an issue with Prego spaghetti sauce, then why don't you go—"

"I was just kidding!" I threw my hands in the air in irritated defeat, saying, "Prego is fine. It's perfect. Jesus, Steph—what did I—"

I wasn't able to finish my sentence. Before I knew what was happening, her lips were attacking mine. The fire lighting the boil on my anger was turned off; the pot of anger replaced with desire. And the desire was long past simmer—past boiling. I couldn't stop my arms from wrapping around her waist, pulling her closer.

The soft moan that she let out ignited everything inside me, and we found our tongues dueling.

* * *

**Stephanie's POV**

Oh God—this felt _so_ good. Being in Joe's embrace, running my fingers through his luscious, wavy brown hair and feeling the love and passion he so obviously still had for me.

One minute I'd been frantic our dinner was going to be ruined because I'd misplaced the sauce. I'm sure what he'd said about it being from a jar had been meant as a joke, but this was my first time making dinner for him. Sue me for feeling sensitive and jumping all over his case. In turn, he'd gone right into his 'irate Italian male' routine. God, it turned me on. I couldn't help myself, and I didn't really care.

Joe backed me up against one of the counters, and both of us tried to get a better feel for the other, making sure everything was still in place after such a long absence. I could definitely confirm it was in place, and it felt better than _ever_.

If I ever needed a legitimate reason not to cook other than thinking I wasn't capable, I'd just found it. Take out didn't require a timer to go off as your hands were exploring the love of your life's body.

Joe reluctantly pulled away to shut off the timer and a very annoyed groan went through my mouth.

I straightened my shirt, and Joe did the same.

Looking at him, I knew he was thinking the same thing I was. As fantastic as that may have felt, we needed to hold off. We had important things to discuss.

"I need to find the sauce," I mumbled, opening another cabinet.

What I _really_ needed was another shower. This time preferably ice cold.

"You mean this one?" he asked, and, sure enough, when I turned around, he had a jar of sauce in his hand.

"Did you hide it while I was in the shower?" I accused with a somewhat annoyed tone.

"No, it had to have been sitting here the whole time," he shot back, glaring at me.

Maybe the kitchen wasn't the best place for us to be together.

"Why don't you take a seat with Bob, and I'll finish this up."

Joe cocked his head to the side in agreement and left the room.

Draining the spaghetti, I threw the sauce on top of the chicken and shoved it back in the oven. Then I started making the salad. I needed to regroup. If I wanted to have an adult conversation, I needed to act like one. That meant no accusing, no getting huffy and especially no yelling.

"Are you sure you don't need help with anything?" Joe asked from the barstool.

"No, it's almost done. Thank you though." I smiled.

"What're we having anyway? It smells good." He turned his nose up in the air to get a better sniff.

"Chicken parmesan. It's baked though. Some people fry it, but you were around the last time I was around a frying pan."

"Oh yeah, I had to replace all my bedding—after Bob ate most of it of course." He shot me a bright smile, and I laughed.

The Cluck in a Bucket incident had been epic, and of course Joe had stayed by my side. It hadn't mattered that Mama Macaroni had been killed because of me—indirectly as it may have been—or that I had been the cause of a business completely burning down. Both occurrences that'd happened within days of one another. Joe had still been right by my side.

I sighed in remembrance. Joe came and put his hand on my shoulder, knowing just where my mind had drifted.

He took the plates, bowls and silverware off the counter and brought them to the dining room. This would be a first. Outside of my mother's house, we'd never had a meal at the dining room table. Usually, if we ate at home, we would eat on the couch or the kitchenette tables at our respective homes.

And there they were—my nerves. They were slowly creeping back in.

* * *

**Joe's POV **

After setting the table. I stared off in space for a moment, looking at what I'd just done. I'd set the table.

For Stephanie and me.

There were two candles on a table placed at the entryway. I looked at the dining table and then back at the candles. They'd never been lit, and I was sure they were for decoration.

Figuring why not, I placed them in the center of the table and sifted through the drawer of the side table looking for matches or a lighter.

Steph chose that moment to start bringing in food—salad, garlic bread and then the chicken. Looking at the candles and then at me, she quirked an eyebrow.

All night I'd had to work hard not to show the shock I was feeling at seeing Stephanie in the kitchen. I'd never thought the day would come where I'd see such a thing—not that it would've mattered to me if it'd never had. It just showed how much she'd changed since that horrible day so many months ago.

Now seeing her putting dishes on the table—dishes that held food she'd cooked—really made it hit home.

I was standing in her house—a homey house. I'd always had the homey house. She'd had the non-descript, barebones home. The tables had been turned.

"I can't believe you've done this, Cupcake." The words spilled out, and I swept my hands, motioning toward the food.

Her eyes got wide, and I could tell, once again, I was going to pay for my comment coming out differently than I'd intended.

But instead she stopped herself and gave a rather self-depreciating laugh.

"Neither can I," she acknowledged before changing the subject. Probably she didn't want to give me time to dissect _why_ she'd made changes. "What were you looking for?"

"Something to light the candles with," I explained.

"Oh, I think I have a lighter in the kitchen."

She left the room, and I put on my game face. I was going to enjoy this dinner, and then we'd talk about where to go from here—_if_ we could go on from here.

When she returned, she had Bob's bowl, a bottle of wine and a lighter.

I lit the candles while she placed Bob's bowl by the wall. He'd been quiet all evening, and I'd only remembered his presence when Stephanie brought in food for him.

Shit! I hope he hadn't eaten anything of hers.

"Bob! I've got dinner!" Stephanie called out.

Bob came bumbling into the room with a small tire attached to a rope. She patted him on the head and then turned to look at me.

"Are you ready to eat, Mr. Morelli?"

"Mr. Morelli?" I questioned.

"You lit candles. Dinner feels all formal now, so I used a formal name."

"I can blow them out," I said hastily, already regretting I'd lit them in the first place.

"Leave them. I'll dim the light, but not too much in case you want to examine your food."

"Stephanie, it looks and smells great. I'm not going to examine the food."

Against my own will, I took her hand and led her to the table, pulling her chair out for her.

As she took her seat, she looked up at me and gave me the bone-melting smile she's completely unaware of. It's full of gratitude and love and gets me every time. I'd seen it more tonight then during the whole time we'd been together before.

I blew out a breath and took my seat as well.

_Why was this so awkward?_ I've shared a thousand meals with this woman.

Because this meal—this night—was a turning point we wouldn't be able to take back.

We both served our plates and quietly started eating.

"I can't do this," Stephanie finally said, breaking the silence and blanketing me in tension. "I mean, I just thought this would be so much different."

The tension in my body was still there, much as it'd been all night, but I felt it ebb knowing she wasn't talking about spending time with me.

"What do you mean?" I asked, putting my fork down and giving her my undivided attention.

"I thought we'd actually be able to enjoy this food. We'd talk about your case and life, and it'd be comfortable. Instead I'm on edge and freaking nervous. Nervous around you!" She paused and held up her hand, "Look, my hands are shaking. Can you believe I barely have an appetite?" She laughed at herself and then uncorked the wine.

"You're not the only one." My hands weren't shaking, but I felt like my insides were. "Why don't we do what you thought we were going to do?"

"Okay." She smiled and started in on her plate again, obviously feeling more at ease.

It hit me she'd just shared her feelings with me. Feelings used to be something she would keep locked up and hidden inside, electing to put up a tough exterior. I'd always known better, but I'd also known not to push her too much.

"Okay, what would you like to know?" I prompted her.

"I don't know," she nervously giggled again.

I shook my head as Bob came over to lift his head and sniff at what was on top of the table.

"He isn't going to want to leave here," I muttered, shooing him away from the table.

"He could stay here for a few days. I know you just got him back, but I haven't seen him in so long." She wasn't demanding, but there was a hint of whining in her tone as well.

"How long do you want to take him for?" I asked and then shoved another piece of chicken in my mouth.

She'd done a good job of cooking, and I could visualize her cooking many meals for us in the future.

She shrugged her shoulders. Why was she still clamming up?

"I have to go to New York tomorrow and through the weekend. How about he stays here, and we can meet somewhere to drop him back off with me?"

She nodded enthusiastically; her smile huge and reaching her big beautiful blue eyes.

"I can bring his food and supplies over later tonight."

Her smile dimmed slightly at the mention of my leaving.

"I have everything he could need. Bowls, treats, toys, a blanket, you name it, I probably have it for him."

"Really?" She had all that stuff for Bob?

"Uh huh, I didn't want him to eat my furniture while he was over," she said, laughing, "So tell me what you've got going on. What's new with the investigation? Why are you still in Philadelphia?"

We found some common ground, and Stephanie let her nerves subside for a bit. I caught her up on what wasn't going on in the investigation, carefully leaving out Ranger's association. I remembered having told her we were working together, but I wasn't ready to deal with any questions or concerns she may have for another one of her former lovers.

I finished telling her everything right about the time both of us finished what was on our plates.

"Dessert?" she asked while picking up my plate.

"Of course. Did you make that too?"

She rolled her eyes at me and shook her head.

"No, I haven't mastered baking just yet."

I shrugged my shoulders, not caring either way.

As she was cutting the cake, I decided to ask her about her job.

"How do you like Macys?"

"Eh—it's alright."

"Only alright? You looked happy when I saw you."

She sighed. "Well, it's just not exciting anymore. I don't want danger, but I hate being stuck behind a desk." She gave me a look that almost looked like guilt. "And then there's Alex, but we've stayed away from each other."

At the mention of Alex, I needed a Tums. He was lucky I hadn't strangled him the few times I'd seen him. It was overwhelmingly good to hear they weren't in constant contact. Not because they could have a romantic relationship, but because I was more afraid of what he was capable of doing with her.

"You haven't had any more troubles with him, right?"

"I don't want to talk about him," she snapped at me.

"Fine!' I said in an equally annoyed tone and left the room.

I wanted to know every detail about their relationship because I swear if he hurt her—maybe then Ranger and I would have something in common. But I couldn't push. Not right now. We were on shaky ground at best. In was in my best interest not to cause too many trembles by bringing him up further.

"Sorry," she came to me, "I just don't want to talk about him right now. Eventually maybe I will, but just not tonight. Please?"

I walked in front of her and nodded. Looking into her eyes, I stroked her cheek and placed a wild clump of curls behind her ear. She moved her head to the side to better feel my hand on her face and head. The usual spark was there, and I found myself staring at her lips.

I bent down to be closer to her face when I felt her breath hitch. This time it was me that made the move. I kissed her slowly, gently before seeking permission to go further.

The kiss continued until both of us were short of breath. God, I loved how her eyes would glaze over when we were in the heat of the moment.

"I—I think we should finish dessert," she spoke in a flustered tone.

Clearing my throat, I nodded and followed her into the dining room again.

"When's your contract up with Macys? Or are you staying on?"

She looked up from her chocolate cake. I could tell she was unsure about what she was going to say next.

"About another five or six months. I—" She paused and took a drink of water. "I've had a possible opportunity come up for when I'm done."

"Oh?" I said, feeling like I wasn't going to like what this _opportunity_ might be.

"Yeah—um, private investigations."

"That doesn't sound bad. As a matter of fact that sounds perfect. That is if you listen to your internal boundaries."

"Uh huh."

"So what's the issue? What aren't you telling me?" I _definitely_ didn't like that she was holding out on me.

"It's with Ranger," she said in a very low voice.

I tilted my head so my ear was in her direction. "I'm sorry? I don't think I heard you right. Did you just say it's with _Ranger_?"

She just nodded.

"You have _got_ to be fucking kidding me, Stephanie! You're not serious are you?" I said through gritted teeth. If I _had_ heard her correctly I'd be leaving with no teeth.

"What? You're working with him, but I can't?"

"When Manoso and I work together, it is _a lot_ different than when you and him get together." The timbre of my voice showed just how much their relationship affected me.

"It's not like that anymore!" she shouted.

Standing, she pushed her chair back so fast it fell to the ground. I wasn't one to be caught off guard, so I stood slowly as well.

"Sure—whatever you say, Steph. How am I to know it isn't going to turn out like Hawaii again?"

The venom in her eyes glittered. I'd just pushed a very, very wrong button, but it was how I felt!

"Fuck you, Joe!" she spat. I was lucky I hadn't been standing right next to her. I think I might've been slapped.

"No, Steph, that's okay—you have Ranger. I'm sure he's more than happy."

I couldn't control my anger at the situation, and my mouth was moving out of its own volition.

"Why are you being like this, Joe? You don't mean what you're saying. You can't." She looked defeated and hurt.

"I don't know," I whispered and looked at my shoes, completely ashamed of myself. I couldn't believe that shit had come out of my mouth, but the anger I was feeling wasn't subsiding.

"I don't either!" Her hands were on her hips—angry Steph was back. "Ranger and I don't have a relationship—I mean we do—but it's not like _that_ anymore. If you don't believe me, then fine! Continue to believe whatever the hell you want! It doesn't mean it's true!" she yelled at me.

I threw my hands in the air. "What do you expect? You think I didn't know about all the bullshit behind the bonds office? You think I thought Hawaii was the first time you and Ranger fucked?" I yelled back.

I was on a roll, and, even if I covered my mouth to make it stop, it would find a way out. "I will _never_ understand what he has that I don't. You're not money hungry, so I know it isn't that. I just don't get it." By the time I finished, my voice was barely above a whisper.

All that was left of me was a deflated ego and a stupid fucking broken heart. I needed to get out of there—away from Steph's crying face.

"I'm going to go," I said, grabbing my jacket off the back of my chair.

I didn't look back, as I slammed the door behind me.

What I'd done didn't hit me, until I unlocked my apartment door and stepped inside.

I'd just pulled a _Stephanie!_ I'd exploded and left because of _why_? Because I was fucking scared out of my mind. I didn't want to get hurt any more than I had been, and, although I could see the growth in her and had heard the words I'd longed to hear for so long—that Ranger was no longer going to be an issue—there were still so many things to work out. I was afraid neither of us would be able to find a way past all of them.

"Fuck!" I yelled to no one as my fist connected with drywall.

* * *

**Stephanie's POV**

I was drinking the last glass of wine and drowning away my sorrows of the dinner gone wrong.

Bob's head was on my lap. He was trying his best to comfort me, but no matter how hard he tried, it would never help.

This was supposed to have been a turning point where Joe and I found ourselves leading to our forever together. Instead it'd become more than apparent we were going in the opposite direction.

It was my fault. Because I'd hurt him so much in the past, he wasn't ready to separate the old Stephanie to the new one that had been seated next to him at the dinner table.

I couldn't blame him, but it hurt more than anything I'd ever felt before.

I'd been crying softly—long past the hard cries that came after our argument. Tears steadily streamed down my face.

Gulping back the last of the wine, I knew I'd have a huge headache tomorrow. Oh well, it would match the never-ending heartache I'd be feeling from there on out.

Keeping Bob had sounded like the best idea ever when I'd thought Joe and I would be seeing each other regularly. Now I could kick myself for having taken him up on his offer. Oh sure—I'd enjoy Bob's company, but Joe and I'd be seeing each other regularly, and it wouldn't be more than a switch off of a child whose parents had just gone through a horrible divorce that neither side had healed from yet.

I heard Bob growl but didn't care. He'd been growling on and off since Joe had left. Probably it was just because he was in a new place.

Suddenly there was a knock on the door, and my heart leapt—partially from being scared but mostly in anticipation. The only person that could be behind that door was Joe.

I jumped off the couch with Bob trotting right by my side.

In my drunken state, I threw the door open.

"Joe! Why did—" I started to say, when I felt a stinging sensation and everything went black.


	12. Chapter 12

I'm bbbbbbaaaaaacccckkk! And very happy to be here! Sorry for the longer than anticipated wait. I hope it is worth your while. I had a hard time getting back into the groove... but I did...thanks to?

You guessed it!

Julie and Carol!**  
**

I owe **_many_ **thanks to both of you! There just aren't words for how grateful I am to you both for being the best friends and mentors a person could ask for. You both mean the world to me! Without your help and friendship I'd be one lost puppy!

Also, thank you for sticking around to everyone! I appreciate any and all feedback. It's great to hear your thoughts-good or bad.

* * *

**Stephanie's POV**

_Grrrrr._

_Grrr._

I put my hand over my stomach. How could it be growling so loud without me feeling it?

_Grrrrrrrrr._ I heard a loud bark and felt myself jump.

Had my wine been laced with something? My head was pounding and everything seemed cloudy in my brain. Obviously it wasn't my stomach that had been growling.

"Get the fuck away from me," I heard a menacing voice say.

_Huh?_

Who was that, and why couldn't I open my eyes?

_Grrrrrr_. I heard the snapping of teeth right as a hand touched my arm.

"What the fuck!" The menacing voice yelled.

"Wh—who are you, and what do you want?" I asked, still trying to piece together what had happened between when I was crying in self-pity with Bob to now.

_Bob!_ That's what the growling had been!

"Bob? Bob, come here," I called, feeling my eyelids slowly begin to separate.

"Stephanie, it's me. I'm here for you."

"Alex?"

My eyes that had been slow to open were suddenly now wide and wondering. Tears had formed and dried, and when my eyes opened, it felt as though they'd been super glued together.

"How did you get in here?" I demanded.

Alex once again tried to grab my arm, and Bob lunged at him, while I struggled to get off the ground. My back and neck were in a tremendous amount of pain. Never had I been happier to have this destructive dog in my life.

"Don't touch me! Don't you fucking touch me! Get out of my house!" I screamed, finally remembering having opened the door because I'd thought it was Joe. I'd hoped maybe he'd cooled off from our argument and had returned to be with me, which is where he should have been right now.

Instead I'd opened the door to Alex who'd stunned me.

_He'd stunned me!_

_Oh my God! Had I pee myself?_

I mentally checked for any wetness in inappropriate places since all my effort was being put into getting as far away from Alex as possible. He hadn't been able to move from his spot in the foyer because Bob was keeping him away, but I'd moved back about a foot with Bob right in front of me.

"I said get out. If you don't get out, I'll be calling the cops." Now _I_ was the one with the menacing voice.

"You wouldn't do that to me? Would you snookums?"

_Snookums?_ What kind of nickname was that?

"I'm going to tell you one more time. Get. Out. NOW!"

"But I'm just trying to protect you. How can you not see that? If I leave, I can't protect you," he said with complete sincerity.

I took another step back, getting closer to the kitchen where my home phone was.

The crazy look Mary Lou and Lenny had spoken about was there. _Big time._

I rolled my eyes. "Protect me? The only thing I need protecting from is _you_!"

Where this boldness was coming from I hadn't a clue. My stomach was actually in knots and from my neck down hurt—badly. Maybe it was Bob that was giving me the extra boost in confidence I needed.

"I saw that _detective_ here," he sneered, obviously not wanting to say Joe's name. "I think he wants more than just to see who is behind the crimes with the trucks. I think he wants to rekindle your past together, and you still belong to _me_. You _don't_ belong to him anymore! Wouldn't you agree that's inappropriate, Stephanie?"

What? I belonged to Alex? _Yeah, freaking right!_

"If you don't remove yourself from my home in two seconds, I will remove you myself."

How that was going to happen was yet to be determined. I'd found my gun earlier in the week, but since I'd stupidly thought I was out of danger—not to mention that Joe had been over earlier—I hadn't taken it from my nightstand.

"I'm not going to hurt you," he said in a gentler tone then he'd last used.

I took another step back.

Alex lunged for me, and I flung myself backward. Bob let out a loud and dangerous bark. His teeth sunk into Alex's calf.

I'd always assumed Bob would drool and do a happy dance if anyone ever broke in or came up to me without consent. Rex had always seemed like the better protector, but somehow the scraggly dog had come through for me.

Alex let out a blood curdling—unmanly—scream.

I took advantage of him not being able to run toward me, and I raced over to the phone to dial the police.

"911, what's your emergency?" a monotone lady's voice answered.

My heart nearly pounded out of my chest when I saw Alex try to hit Bob upside _the head. _

_No! Not my puppy!_

"My ex-boyfriend is here. Trespassing, I think—I don't know—I just want him out!"

I suddenly started crying. The adrenaline was still kicking in my system, but it was coming in waves.

"He tased me, and now my dog—"

Bob let out a yelp as Alex hit him hard in the head, forcing Bob to release his calf from his mouth.

"Your dog did what, ma'am?"

"He bit him. Hard," I repeated and took off for the downstairs half bath to lock myself in.

Bob seemed disoriented after the punch in the head. He wouldn't be protecting me as well as he had been.

Slamming the door, I clicked the lock. Seconds later Alex was pounding on the door, and Bob was growling and barking. There was nothing fancy about the lock on the door. It would be an easy one to pick. I doubted Alex had the skill Ranger had. Still, I was afraid of the look I'd seen in his eyes. He might be powerful enough to knock the door right off its hinges, and I had nothing in the bathroom with which to protect me.

I'd been in the kitchen—why hadn't I grabbed a knife? Huddled between the toilet and the wall, I had a clear view if the door were to swing open. The bathroom was so small no matter where I put myself I would be at a grave disadvantage to the man on the other side. That bathroom was solely used as a pit stop downstairs. Other than toilet paper and soap, I didn't keep a single thing in there.

There wasn't a single thing I could use as a weapon.

_Where was a plunger when I needed one?_ I could beat Alex upside the head or poke an eye out with it.

"Your dog is going to pay for this, Stephanie!" I heard through the bathroom door. If possible, he sounded even more angry and menacing than he had before Bob got to him.

"No!" I screeched.

"Ma'am, I need you to calm down. Give me your address and help will be on its way."

It took me a moment to remember my address. I gave her the wrong number twice before the correct number and street came to mind.

"Hurry," I whispered.

Alex was banging on the door, and, with every hard knock, I heard the wood in the door scrape. With every creak, my body stiffened further.

"Can you tell me what happened?"

"I don't really know. I answered the door, and he was there. I thought it was someone else at first, and by the time I saw it was Alex he—he tased me."

Tears were streaming down my face watching the knob on the door being played with.

I wished more than ever that Joe and I hadn't fought. I should've grabbed his hand before he'd left and let him settle down before we talked some more. I wish I'd stuck to my promise to not raise my voice or argue. Silently, I willed him back to my home.

"Stephanie—you'd better not be on that phone! I said I wasn't going to hurt you!"

"When are the cops coming? When will they be here?" I frantically asked the operator.

"They're in route. Is he still accosting you?" she asked, trying to keep me on the line until the officers arrived. I wished _my _officer would arrive, but I knew there was no chance of that happening.

"Yes," I told her and started chanting to myself. "Please hurry, please hurry, _please_ hurry."

The lady on the other end of the line tried to keep me focused, but her voice was merely static in my ear. All I could focus on was Alex on the other side of the door.

"How _dare_ you fucking lock yourself in there!"

"We need to talk—_now._ You should have never reported me, Stephanie Plum! You had no right! I didn't do anything to you! Get out here to so I can show you the fucking error of your ways!"

I could hear the lock give a slight click, but it never fully turned.

"Ma'am, stay with me. Are you there?" The dispatcher asked, and I was far too scared to voice anything other than a whimper.

In all my years of bounty hunting, this moment had to have been the most terrifying. Or maybe it was just because it was happening right now. I didn't know, and frankly, I didn't care. I just wanted it over with.

"Get the fuck out here!" Alex screamed. He was getting more impatient as the minutes ticked on, and I was getting more scared.

"Please help!" I pleaded with the dispatcher.

"They're almost there, Hon, I promise." Her previous stoic demeanor was faltering, and she was becoming more compassionate.

Faintly I heard, "Philly PD open the door!"

"Fuck!" Alex yelled, and the fumbling with the bathroom door ceased.

Bob was still barking, sounding absolutely insane. I heard boots pounding on the floor and then a loud thud.

"Someone restrain the dog!" Orders were being called out by the police.

"You can't arrest me! I'm Alex MacLaine! My dad will have your ass for this!" Alex yelled.

The lock on the door in front of me tumbled, and something I'd never felt surged through my system. My whole body tingled—and not in a good way. I felt my legs go out, and everything turned fuzzy just as I watched the door start to open.

* * *

**Joe's POV**

After throwing my fist through the wall, I'd calmed down considerably. I was too distracted with icing my swollen knuckles to think of anything further. Emptying my pockets, I checked my phone and sighed. Not a single missed call.

If I hadn't heard from Steph in the hour that had passed since I'd left her place, I wasn't going to hear from her at all.

The fact she hadn't called me made me angry all over again—with myself and with her.

_Why were we both so fucking stubborn?_

Needing to get some of my aggression out and not wanting to damage another hand, I threw my cell across the room. It wasn't the first time I'd done it, but apparently my phone was at the breaking point I found myself at as well. The damned thing was shattered. The battery flew into my living room, and the front had disengaged from all the electronics inside.

When would I learn that physical release wasn't going to get me anywhere?

Frustrated and knowing there was nothing else to calm me for the night, I stripped my clothes and got into a hot shower until I felt a little more like myself.

A new phone would have to wait until tomorrow.

No question I needed to figure out my relationship with Stephanie, but right then I was too tired. Climbing into bed, I shut everything down.

* * *

**Stephanie's POV**

"Get that away from me," I garbled.

_Nothing like having an ammonia pill to wake you up._

"Ma'am."

I didn't respond.

"Get someone over here STAT!" a man's voice yelled.

Hadn't I heard enough yelling men tonight? _Jeez!_

"Ma'am, are you with us?" the man's voice said again, this time patting my cheek.

"Yes," I faintly replied.

"Okay, I'm going to lift you up. You've already been checked out by the paramedics, so I know you're okay to sit."

Good thing they weren't making me stand, because I was positive my legs couldn't handle my weight right then.

In the distance, I heard Alex screaming. He probably wasn't all that far away. More like in my driveway.

My brain was too foggy to fully comprehend what he was yelling, but I was able to discern, "I didn't do anything wrong! Why aren't you arresting her? I was here to check on her, and that dog attacked me!"

"I'm detective James Stewart," the man beside me said. "I'll be taking your statement tonight."

I nodded warily. I hated giving my statement but knew it had to be done. I'd given my statement for so many different things over the years; I knew exactly how the process went. Usually I was so thorough, the police never had to ask any questions to clarify points and tonight was no exception.

After giving him my name, date of birth and dental record (not really that last one, but—sheesh—it surely felt like it), I explained the night's events. I explained to detective Stewart how I'd had a dinner guest and he'd dropped off his dog with me to doggy-sit while he went out of town. I didn't explain my relationship with Joe—nor did I give him his name or information. I was embarrassed enough with how the evening had ended up _before_ Alex showed up. I didn't want Joe to get word of it if I didn't have to. Cops always stuck together, and, even outside of Trenton, Joe had made a name for himself with how smart he was. I didn't doubt the same happened here in Philadelphia.

"Do you have the dog's records, Miss Plum?" Detective Stewart asked.

"Records? What records?"

"Vaccination records?"

I shook my head so he continued, "Since you don't have proof of vaccinations, I'm going to have to call animal control—"

"What!" I slapped my hand over my mouth.

"He bit Mr. MacLaine, so we're going to have to quarantine him for three days. If you can get me proof of vaccinations, he can be released but otherwise—"

His voice drifted off in my mind. There went my idea of not telling Joe.

"There is a chance he can sue you or the owner for medical bills, but for now Mr. MacLaine is in state custody. Would you like to press charges?"

"Yes," I said firmly, "I want a restraining order as well, please."

I had never requested a restraining order against anyone before, but tonight I knew what absolute fear was. I thought I'd known it when Benito Ramirez was after me. I thought I'd known terror when Stiva shoved me into a coffin. There was no explaining why tonight had affected me more than any other time, but it had. If a restraining order made me feel a little safer, then I was going to get one.

"Okay, we'll fill out the request tonight, but a judge won't be able to approve it until tomorrow. Do you have a place to stay tonight?"

I took a moment to look around me. There was fingerprint dust everywhere, and it looked like a fellow officer was picking up hair samples.

I nodded my head. I needed Marisa. Not only for a place to stay but to be a source of sanity.

My home was now a crime scene. That hurt. Philadelphia took domestic violence much more seriously than Trenton—not that I didn't appreciate that fact, but this home was supposed to be my sanctuary. Now it was tainted.

I called Marisa, and even though I could tell she'd gone to bed long ago, she let me cry and explain what had happened. After I was more in control over my sniveling, she offered to pick me up. I declined, so I could take my car to work and then pick up Bob.

I called Joe next. My mind kept going back and forth as to whether I wanted him to pick up the phone. He would be furious with me for letting Bob attack Alex, but what choice did I have?

His phone went directly to voicemail. I left him a message and sighed. I really needed Bob's vaccination records! How was I supposed to get them if he'd turned off his phone?

* * *

**Joe's POV**

I was on my way to New York thinking about the previous night.

Tossing and turning, I'd kept replaying the events of the evening over and over again. I should've known I wouldn't be able to shut down my brain.

Cursing myself continuously for obliterating my phone, I realized I wasn't even concerned with the fact I might've miss a call from work. But what if Stephanie had needed me? Something deep down told me she had, but I kept telling myself it was just because I knew I'd hurt her with my words and actions.

I couldn't stop the cycle of my thoughts. I tried contemplating other things—my family—Bob—shit, even my truck—but everywhere my brain went thoughts of Stephanie soon followed.

It was a repeat of our initial breakup in Trenton. I didn't want to spend the rest of my life in this sickening cycle, but I didn't want to spend it without Stephanie either.

I needed to find a happy medium.

The night before I'd wanted to call and apologize—talk it out—but knowing her as well as I did, I'd known she needed time to cool off as well. And more than likely a longer period than I had!

Was her working for Ranger all that bad? Bad enough for me to destroy what I'd hoped to be a new and improved relationship with Steph?

No—it was probably the best thing for her. He would keep her safe, and she would probably be bringing in a decent wage instead of living hand to mouth like she'd been for so long working for Vinnie.

But it was Ranger!

Even before I'd met up with Steph again, he hadn't been a man I could trust without some reservation. I didn't know the inner workings of whatever relationship they'd had, but how was it possible for her to trust him so easily?

I guess I really couldn't blame her. How many times had he saved her life when I couldn't be there? Yes, he'd also put her in danger, but I was trying to think of the positives. He'd helped her out when she'd needed money with a job; let her borrow and destroy cars and supported her when I hadn't. When I looked past my pride, ego and love for Stephanie, I realized maybe he was _it_ for her.

Quickly I removed the thought from my brain.

_No!_

I knew even though Ranger had the capability of loving Stephanie, I loved her _more_—deeper than a man like him could ever feel. I loved her in a way that would truly count and would last to the end of our days. I knew it, because I'd tried fighting my love for the woman that had caused me so much pain and pleasure.

Maybe I couldn't provide her with everything Ranger could. I didn't have the money and everything else that came with it at my disposal, but I could provide for us just fine. When it came down to the facts, Stephanie was a simple woman. I could provide a happy home, and wasn't that what it was all about at the end of the day?

I'd always known Ranger was after Stephanie for sex. _Maybe_ he was interested in more, but more than likely not. If he had been, there would've been more to their relationship after Hawaii. From what I'd seen and heard, their association had quickly crumbled even _after_ I'd called off our relationship.

I had to believe it was because _she'd_ wanted it to crumble.

I hadn't even given her a chance to explain what the work she'd be doing for him would entail. There was always more than just a title. Worst of all I hadn't given her a chance to tell me about how her relationship had changed with Ranger.

Truthfully, I wasn't even upset over what she'd be doing—just with whom.

I didn't know much about what Steph and Ranger had shared in the past. I knew there'd been kisses and ogling. Obviously they'd slept together. But what I wanted to know was where they were with each other today and, more importantly, where they were going in the future.

Was she planning a future with him?

Had I mixed the signals? Had I been so desperate to feel Stephanie's love again I'd turned innocent gestures from her into more? Had dinner at her house really been just dinner, or had I been correct in thinking it would be a turning point for us to be adults and stay in a relationship? Or had she just wanted her share of 'Bob custody'?

What about our shared caresses the previous night? Was the overwhelming passion I'd felt when our lips, tongues and bodies had met one sided? It'd been almost enough to consume me at the time. A fire I hadn't felt in ages had been lit inside me.

I couldn't live with the thought that what I'd felt hadn't been the same for her.

Why was I even thinking about her anymore? If all of her signals were received correctly on my end, I'd clearly screwed up my chances. For once _I'd_ been the one to blow up and leave.

Pulling into my parking space at the NYPD headquarters, I shook my head and got into team leader mode.

When the endless meetings were through, I could doubt myself and everything else around me. Until then, I had to have my head on straight.

* * *

**Stephanie's POV**

I awoke Thursday morning with a start, hating the feeling of waking up and not remembering where I was and why. Adrenaline immediately pumped into my system followed by relief as I remembered I was safe in Marisa's home.

_Who needed coffee with five seconds into your morning like that?_

After the police had arrived and arrested Alex for trespassing along with other yet to be named charges, they'd taken my statement after Animal Control had arrived. I'd cried my way through saying goodbye to Bob—even if it was just for the night—before gathering Rex and the rest of my belongings to stay with Marisa.

The room I was staying in hadn't had an alarm clock for me to set to get ready for work. And now, stumbling about the room, I didn't know the time. As much as I didn't want to go into work, I knew I had to—and I didn't want to be late.

Putting a robe on over my pajamas, I crept my way downstairs. There wasn't a trace of kids or adults and certainly no coffee had been made. I looked at the clock on the microwave.

_SIX SIXTEEN IN THE MORNING!_

I hated waking up before seven. When I'd been a bounty hunter, I'd hated waking before eight. An hour was a vast improvement, but this was too freaking early.

What was I going to do with myself for the next hour and half before I had to get ready for work?

My prayers were answered when I heard Sophia calling out for Marisa. Again I crept my way through the hall toward Sophia's bedroom. I met a very groggy Marisa in the hallway, and she smiled at me.

"Go get her. I'll start the coffee," she said, rubbing the sleep from her eyes.

I gave her an enthusiastic nod as she passed me.

"Good morning, beautiful," I said to Sophia as I picked her up.

_Dang that Marisa!_ No wonder she'd volunteered to make coffee. I'd forgotten that babies made messes during the night. I was going to have to remember to ask Marisa what she'd fed her, because I was never feeding my kids whatever Sophia had eaten if it was going to smell like that!

My kids.

_Sigh._

Would I ever find a suitor to have one—or more—with?

The lousy truth was I'd once had _two_ 'suitors'—both of whom could've provided me with the children I hadn't known I'd wanted at the time.

Ranger may not have made a good father, but he'd stupidly offered to give me a child once upon a time. Thank God I hadn't taken him up on his offer _if_ he'd even really meant it.

I wanted a true blue father for my children.

I wanted someone with a loving soul who would adore them—a supporter and someone to defend them against anything. I needed a person who would help me teach our kids right from wrong and give them a strong sense of self.

That was Joe—through and through. I hadn't a single doubt about it.

We'd never truly discussed kids, and I couldn't help but wonder if he even wanted kids. Truthfully, he was probably smart enough not to want to have them with a disaster like me. Even though I'd worked hard at separating myself from the Stephanie that had attracted crazies and found herself in trouble time and time again, last night had been proof that Stephanie still existed.

Thinking about all that made changing Sophia's diaper much easier. I knew Marisa would laugh when she saw the excessive amount of wipes that I'd used, but in the end she would know her baby had the cleanest butt from there to Kingdom come.

I was blowing light raspberries on Sophia's cheek when we went entered the kitchen where Marisa was pouring our cups of coffee.

"Hey baby girl. Are you in a good mood today just for Aunt Stephanie?"

Marisa gave her a kiss on the cheek as Sophia took her drooly fist out of her mouth. She reminded me of Bob at that moment—drool everywhere and waiting for food.

Marisa took a bowl of what looked like mush and fruit to the dining table and nodded toward the high chair set off to the side.

"How are you doing this morning?" She'd begun to feed Sophia but was speaking to me.

"Alright."

"Good. I wanted you to know we're going out of town tomorrow night, but you're welcome to stay here as long as you need."

My eyes began to well at her thoughtfulness.

"Thanks," I whispered since my voice wasn't capable of much more. Clearing my throat, I said, "I should get Bob back tonight though, and I'm supposed to meet up with Joe tomorrow night so he can take him back. If I can't convince him to let me keep him for a little longer, I'll definitely take you up on your offer."

"You know you're going to have to tell HR about filing for the restraining order, right?"

I nodded. "Do I have to wait until it's approved, or, since I applied for one, do I have to do it today?"

"You should probably tell them about it today just to be on the safe side."

"Yeah."

"I keep forgetting to tell you! Mark has a guy in his office willing to represent you pro bono."

"Huh?" I raised an eyebrow, not having any idea what she was talking about.

"I think his name is Greg. He does mostly personal injury, but he can do more."

I must've looked thoroughly confused, because she explained, "He's an attorney in Mark's office. Anyway, he does all kinds of cases on the side when the mood strikes him. Apparently, he felt bad when Mark explained to him how he'd had to rescue you the other day."

I was always forgetting what Mark did for a living. _Duh—tax attorney._

"Do you think I'll need an attorney? I haven't done anything wrong."

"I know." She continued to feed Sophia. "But you don't know what the fallout is going to be from last night. Not to mention Bob bit him."

"Bob was protecting me!" I protested.

"I know that and I'm sure the cops do too. But in this state, even if the person was there to cause harm to you and was bit, they can still go after you—or Joe—for medical costs."

I harrumphed. Between the dirty diaper and this news, today wasn't shaping up all that well. And I hadn't even been to work yet.

Forty minutes later, I was gathering up everything I'd taken over when I'd arrived in the early morning hours, except Rex. I'd collect him later.

"Thank you again. You're an amazing friend," I said to Marisa as she walked me out to my car.

"Anytime you need me, Steph, I'm here for you. Try and have a good day."

I started my car and rolled down the window.

"You too. When you get back, call me. I want you, Mary Lou and me to go do a girl's day. I owe you both, and you got along so well."

"I'd love that, but not because you owe me. I like spending time with you two. Plus, it'd be nice to see you when it isn't an emergency situation."

I laughed and rolled up my window. The mornings were starting to get cold, so I turned on the heater as well. I'd just put my car into reverse when Marisa waved her hand for me to roll down the window again.

"You need to cover up those marks before you walk into the office unless you want everyone talking."

"Marks?" I questioned.

She put her hand to her neck, and I instinctively did the same.

_Shit! _

I could feel the two marks left by Alex's taser. Flipping down the sun visor of my car, I looked in the mirror. Not only were there two angry red marks, but my neck was green and purple from bruising.

_Damn it!_

I pulled my hair from the bun I'd put it in and fluffed it, knowing it would have to suffice for now.

On my way into work, I left the exact same message for Joe as I'd left the night before.

"Hi—I need Bob's shot record as soon as you get this. My fax at work is 555-268-9125. Thanks." If he wanted to know why I needed the report, I'd tell him Bob had bitten someone and try to leave it at that.

Traffic made me late, and I was already irritated when I walked in the door of my office. I became even _more_ irritated when I opened my company email.

My request for time off at the end of next week had been denied. Reasoning that since I hadn't heard when Grandma's surgery date had been set yet; it more than likely wasn't going to happen next week. I wanted to get my request in as early as possible—thinking there was no way they'd deny me as long as it wasn't requested on really short notice. If she had her surgery the beginning of next week, I'd at least be able to help my mom take care of Grandma for four days while she was recovering.

I had to call human resources anyway to tell them about the restraining order, so I'd complain about my time off request at the same time. Unfortunately, both would have to wait until after I called the vet, seeing as Joe still hadn't returned my calls.

Picturing the fluffy orange beast of a protector in a kennel was heart breaking. I needed to rescue him as soon as possible.

I'd called the vet and was told since I wasn't listed as an owner on Bob's paperwork, they couldn't release his records to me. However, Mooch and his wife _were_ listed because they'd just dog-sat for Joe. I called Mooch and instructed him as to what I needed and where to send the information.

Now no one had ever accused Mooch of being terribly smart, so when he still sounded confused the third time I'd explained everything, I politely thanked him and hung up. I then called his wife Shirley and explained to _her_ what I needed. She said she'd fax everything I'd requested as soon as she could. Not ten minutes later, I was faxing Bob's vaccination records to the county animal control.

Thirty minutes later I received the call that Bob could be released from 'impound'. I was busy doing a few orders when Chet from our Hazelton warehouse called to let me know a Steve Madden inventory had gone missing from the last load, along with a few Nine West packs. He and his team had triple-checked the truckload.

_Could the day get any worse?_

Knowing what my next step was, I called Joe. Maybe this time he would answer!

"Hey, it's me," I greeted the machine again for the third time. "That truck you told me about arrived, and, like you suspected, it's missing inventory. Call me."

I'd wanted to end it with, "Don't be mad at me about Bob. I love you", but that would've led to, "Please come back and talk about everything with me. I won't take the job if you don't want me to. I'll do anything you need me to."

I didn't say anything, knowing neither statement would get me very far. And I only wanted him to be in my life if he chose to be. I didn't want to force him any more than I felt I'd already done. There was no point in letting him smell the desperation coming from me.

I needed to focus back on my work, but I was having a terrible time. Why couldn't the break up from Alex have been easy? More importantly, why had I never suspected he'd go off some kind of deep end?

Where the hell had my spidey sense been when I'd needed it?

Having done enough dwelling on what I'd done wrong with my life, I needed to tell myself to focus on what lay ahead of me.

Purchasing could wait; I dialed human resources instead.

"Melinda speaking. How can I help you?"

"Hi Melinda, this is Stephanie Plum, Shoes Purchasing Manager East Coast."

"Yes, Ms. Plum. How may I assist you today?" asked the perky voice that held a certain air to it.

"I—well—you see—" I fumbled. How does one say I dated my boss, but he's gone physco?

Melinda cleared her throat. Five seconds into our conversation, and I was already testing her patience.

"Ms. Plum—"

"My manager—whom I previously dated—assaulted me in my home last night. I've filed for a restraining order, and I wanted to call and let you know." I burst out in a rush. I needed to get this conversation over with.

"And your manager would be?" Melinda asked. She was already typing away.

"Alex MacLaine."

"Ah yes. I see you've reported problems with him recently, correct?"

Remembering the parking lot incident, I started to nod my head, but soon realized she couldn't see me.

"Yes, earlier this week."

"Has the restraining order been approved?"

"Not yet," I responded.

"And you've never had a problem with him before your first complaint?" Her tone had seemed to become judgmental.

I'd been judged long enough in my life. I sure as hell didn't need it now.

"No," I responded with a touch of attitude. "We started dating not long after I started working here, and—"

"You _do_ know that it's against company policy to have relations with someone in your department—do you not?"

"No, I wasn't aware."

"_Especially_ since he's your manager—that's even more of a conflict of interest."

"Okay."

I couldn't think of a better response. The relationship was over, and yet I felt as though I was about to get reprimanded. _Shouldn't my manager have told me?_

"What is the lead detective's name that you requested the restraining order from, ma'am?" she asked, still typing away.

I hadn't brought any of the business cards with me. They were all on my kitchen counter where I'd left them. I went through my mental Rolodex, trying to think. I knew so many detectives in Trenton, and their name were the only ones popping up in my head.

"Stewart—I think. James Stewart."

"And do you have his contact information?" Her tone was getting more clipped the longer I had her on the line.

"No, but I can get it for you tomorrow."

"Hmmm, yes, please do. Your case number is 37-9268."

"Case number?" I asked, quickly scribbling down the numbers she'd sounded off.

"Yes, for Macy's internal investigation. If you hear from detective Stewart before tomorrow, give him my number." She quickly spouted off that as well. "And give him the case number. He should contact me immediately. If you don't hear from him, call me and reference that same number."

"Alright, I can do that. What happens in the internal investigation?" I asked.

"Not for you to worry about right now. Is there anything else I can help you with?"

Since her attitude hadn't softened toward me, I debated on talking to her about my time off. I decided it wouldn't be in my best interest at the moment.

"No. I just wanted Macy's to be informed of what is going on. Thank you."

I had all the information I needed, and so I quickly hung up.

* * *

**Joe's POV**

We took a late lunch break from our round table meeting. One out of the two trucks we'd thought would be targeted was in fact missing contents. Several items designated for Macy's—among other stores—were stolen.

Those facts led me to believe that Steph would have contacted me, and I still hadn't been able to replace my phone.

_Fuck!_

Skipping lunch with my team, I went to the local cellular store with my SIM card in hand.

I replaced my battered phone and was able to program everything in with the help of the customer service guy at the counter.

I couldn't have been more impatient if I'd tried.

"You're sure it's going to pick up the messages I would've received if my phone wasn't broken?" I asked for what had to have been at least the third time.

"Yes."

The kid grinned, probably thinking I'd missed a booty call. That was what would have been important to him anyway.

I felt the need to clarify. "I'm a detective, and I just hope I didn't miss out on a lead."

"Here you are." He passed me my new phone. "All set to go."

Practically running to my car, I immediately pressed 1 for voicemail.

Delete.

Delete.

Delete.

I'd almost pressed delete again when I realized it was Stephanie's voice.

"Hi—I need Bob's shot record as soon as you get this. My fax at work is 555-268-9125. Thanks."

_What the hell?_

The next message was exactly the same. Maybe my phone had duplicated the message, although in the first message, she'd sounded a little distraught and in the second, she'd sounded more in control.

_Shit._

Next message: "Hey, it's me. That truck you told me about arrived. Like you suspected, it's missing inventory. Call me."

Two reasons to call her.

_Why was I always looking for a reason to call her other than the reason closest to my heart?_

I immediately called her cell phone, but didn't get an answer. It took me longer than necessary, but I found her office line under contacts and pressed dial. It was later in the day, but I figured she'd still be at her desk.

"Stephanie Plum—how may I help you?" she answered, and I felt relief to know she hadn't been in danger. She was obviously at work.

"It's me. Why do you need Bob's records?" I jumped in.

"Don't you need to know about the merchandise?" she asked in response. I couldn't get a good read on her, but she sounded defeated.

"No, I already know what's missing. Have you heard anything around the office about it?"

I hated to sound ungrateful for her having called about the trucks, but I already had the information, and I was more concerned about what was going on with Bob. The first thing that had come to mind was he needed surgery. Had a car hit him? Had he broken his foot going down her stairs?

"No, I've been stuck behind my desk again."

"Okay, well, let me know if you do. So why do you need Bob's records?"

"Uh—I don't need them anymore."

"Why _did_ you need them in the first place?" I was getting irritated, and it was clear in my tone. She was always keeping something from me.

"He bit someone," she growled back at me, surprising the hell out of me.

"What!"

When there was no response, I added, "Who'd he bite?"

"Joe I really don't have time to talk right now. What time do you want to meet me tomorrow?"

"You haven't answered my question," I insisted through gritted teeth.

Who had she been hanging out with that Bob could've bitten someone in the short time I'd left him with her? Bob had _never_ shown aggression toward anyone. It had to be a mistake.

"Joe," she pleaded, "I really don't have time right now to go over everything, but I will. Will you text me when you know when and where we can meet tomorrow?"

"Cupcake," I practically sighed. The woman made me question my own sanity!

Deciding not to push her further, I said, "Do you know where Shabby's Groomers is off Twenty Seventh Street?"

"Uh huh." She sounded sidetracked. When I didn't say anything more, she repeated, "Shabby's groomers. What time?"

"I should be back in town after twelve. What time would work for you?"

I was still working on calming myself down. Mostly I was thankful that regardless of whatever Bob and she had been up to, she seemed to be safe now.

"I'll call you. Sometimes I leave early on Fridays—like around four."

"And then you'll tell me what went on with Bob?" I had to push one more time.

"Uh huh." Just by her response I knew I'd have to dig to find the other half of whatever she was going to tell me.

"Alright, call me."

The silence dragged on between us. I almost opened my mouth to say, 'I love you', but thankfully she stopped me.

"Okay. Bye."

* * *

**Stephanie's POV**

After my conversation with Joe, the rest of Thursday went by in a blur. I remembered Dave having told me Ashley would start on Monday. He'd be training her but wanted me to spend some time with her as well.

_Ugh._

Oh well, it was my job, and I'd have to get used to it. I'd have another five or so months with her.

I was ticked Joe hadn't said anything about our dinner the previous night—no apology or explanation for his actions. But truly I was afraid if I'd spent too much time on the phone with him, I'd have told him everything that'd happened the night before. Maybe one day I would give him the full details—like when I was drunk and had no control over my mouth and body.

Later at animal control, I waited for the burly receptionists in 'Tweety scrubs' to bring Bob to me.

We would be staying at my house tonight—with my gun by my side.

Detective James had called earlier to tell me my restraining order had been approved, and that my house was no longer a crime scene. Good news! Of course he'd shared bad news as well.

Alex was still in jail, but he would be meeting with the judge tomorrow to see about bond. Without a doubt, he was going to be released, but detective Stewart had assured me he would call me right away when Alex was out of jail. Even though we worked at the same place, Alex would not be allowed within one hundred yards of me. That meant he wouldn't be able to work at our office unless I wasn't there.

_Oh how complicated life could be._

Staring off into space, I was taken aback when an orange blob came into my line of vision.

"Bob! Oh you big boy! I've missed you!" I threw myself at him and hugged him tight.

"I think he missed you too, honey. He chewed his bowl and blanket. We made sure he didn't swallow anything though," the receptionist said with a grimace.

I didn't want to tell her that was Bob's modus operandi for _every _day.

Friday morning I awoke in a much more pleasant manner than Thursday. I knew where I was, and Bob made me feel safe. I hadn't had the best night of sleep, but it'd been nice to be in my own bed.

Rubbing Bob's belly, I stretched. It was a new day, and I had a restraining order. Plus, I'd be seeing Joe later that day.

I thoroughly enjoyed my coffee while sitting in my backyard watching Bob discover the new-to-him yard. My eyes rolled at what he'd deposited in the back corners for me. Too bad Joyce's yard wasn't nearby with all that the animal shelter had fed him!

I rushed through getting ready for work. My makeup was half assed and my clothes weren't as pressed as I would've liked. Thankfully, my mom wasn't around to judge.

I barreled through the doors of Macy's lobby and took the stairs to the floor of the purchasing department.

The cloud I'd been on all morning disappeared as soon as I opened my email.

_From: Melinda Carslile_

_To: Stephanie Plum_

_Subject: Case 37-9268_

_Dear Miss Plum,_

_After initial review of your case, Human Resources—Macy's has come to the conclusion it would be in the department and company's best interests if you take a leave of absence pending further review. _

_You will receive your regular pay, until we make a final decision._

_Please read and sign the attached documents and return to me at your earliest convenience. _

_Melinda_

I opened the document attached at the bottom of the email.

It was an acknowledgement form stating what Macy's would be doing to investigate and the possible outcomes.

I wasn't too concerned. There wasn't a chance I could get into trouble since I hadn't done anything wrong. When Marisa got back into town, I'd get the information for the attorney she'd told me about. Not only would I probably need him if things went south with Macy's, but if Alex decided to go after Joe or me for Bob biting him, I'd need some kind of counsel as well.

Signing the acknowledgement form, I faxed it back to Melinda.

Dave came in as I was finishing and slumped down in my guest chair.

"I take it you know already," I remarked to my disappointed looking assistant.

"Yeah, I just got an email."

He sat there a moment, waiting for me to say more.

"What's going to happen?" he asked when I'd let the silence last too long.

I shrugged my shoulders. I'd never been investigated for anything before.

"We're supposed to start training Ashley Monday," he reminded me.

"I'm sorry to leave you in this position. Maybe they'll have the investigation closed, and I'll be back by then."

"Yeah, maybe," he responded.

My trying to be positive wasn't rubbing off on my assistant. Or was he now an ex-assistant?

No one knew when the internal review would be done. I just hoped I'd be back within the next three weeks to see Dave off. If my logic were correct, Alex wouldn't be coming back.

I'd arrived to the office feeling like I was flying on a magic carpet. I left feeling as if a battered and dusty rug were covering me. Even though logically I knew I wasn't responsible for what had caused me to be temporarily on leave, I couldn't help but feel like it was entirely my fault.

If I hadn't treated Joe as if he meant nothing to me and cheated, he wouldn't have called it quits, and I wouldn't have ever left my bounty-hunting job, along with Trenton. Consequently, I would have never met Alex and dated him.

But—on the other hand—if Joe hadn't broken up with me, I would've never gotten my act together. I still regretted having treated Joe the way I did, but it had led to improvements in my life.

I'd made some good friends there in Philadelphia and working at Macy's had solidified in my mind I was capable of more than working at Cluck-in-a-Bucket.

I'd made other improvements as well. For the first time since E.E. Martin, I had money in the bank and wasn't living day to day. I'd learned how to cook for myself without it bringing back horrible images of my first marriage. But the biggest improvement of all had been not living in denial the majority of my waking moments.

Best of all, through all the change, I'd stayed true to myself and that's what counted.

Even though it was only a quarter past ten, I needed a pick me up. My resident Philly go-to person wasn't in town, so I called Joe. He'd always been my go to person, but this last year things had changed.

"Morelli," he answered, and I felt the dirty rug start to lift off of me.

"Hi," I breathed out fresh air. Only Joe was able to make me feel like everything would be okay.

"Is everything alright, Steph?"

"Uh huh," was my non-convincing reply. "I'm off work. What time can you meet me?"

It took him a moment to reply. I felt like I was testing his patience even though I'd asked a simple question.

"I'm checking out from my hotel now. Give me two hours to get there."

"So twelve thirty at Shabby's?" I clarified.

"See you there," he said and hung up.

At least I'd had his voice for a few moments. I knew our meeting would be tense, but I'd adapt. I'd been able to worm my way into his good graces in the past when I hadn't deserved it. I could do it again.

Back at my place, I cleaned up the mess from Wednesday night. I hadn't touched it the night before, because it'd reminded me of Joe—and his leaving. Afterward, I took a long shower.

I was ecstatic Bob hadn't eaten any of my furniture in the short time I'd been at work.

At twelve fifteen I had him on a leash ready to meet Joe. Locking my front door, I walked toward my car and stopped dead in my tracks.

* * *

**Joe's POV**

Weaving my way through Philadelphia traffic, I heard my phone ring over the radio.

"Morelli."

I heard sniffling on the other end and pulled the phone away from my ear. I'd been too into my own thoughts to look to see who'd called—something I almost never did but found myself doing more of lately.

_Stephanie_

"Stephanie?"

I immediately had the phone back to my ear and ground out her name in a rush. She still hadn't responded, and I was becoming more panicked.

"Cupcake? Answer me!" I demanded.

"I ca—can't meet up wi—with you."

_What?_ _Was that all she was crying about?_

I answered my own question. _No, Steph wasn't an emotional person._

"Why not? Is everything okay?" I asked, knowing damn well it wasn't.

"My tires are empty."

"Huh? How?" She had my mind going a mile a minute.

"Som—someone slashed my tires."

"What the fuck?" I exploded. "Where are you?"

"Home."

"I'll be there in ten," I said and hung up. At the first opportunity, I flipped a U-turn and headed toward her house.

Why would someone have slashed her tires? For that matter what was she doing home that early? The fact she was able to meet me earlier than either of us originally had planned was bugging me as well. Something reeked about the whole situation, and I was going to sniff it out.

From the little I'd been able to get out of her, I smelled Alex—a very bitter Alex.

My tires squealed as I slammed my breaks after pulling up to her house. Getting out, I went straight to her car to take a look.

No smashed windows. No key marks in the paint—just slashed tires. The right rear still had the knife in it. Looking at what was in front of me, my cop experience told me two things. One—the person was angry, and this was deliberate, and two—they either had to have been caught by someone or had heard something to have made them leave the knife in the tire.

Either that, or they were just plain stupid.

I walked around the fence line of her tiny front yard but didn't see anything. Her side gate was locked from the inside. Satisfied with my basic search, I returned to her car.

I was crouched down looking at the knife to see if maybe the person's hands had been greasy enough to leave some kind of print when I heard Stephanie's door open and her command to Bob to stay.

"I'm sorry about the call. I don't know why I was so upset. They're just tires."

It was a relief not to see her crying. I could never handle her crying—not because I hated crying per say, but more that it made me uncomfortable. I was a man, and what were men supposed to do in a situation like that?

Eyeing her shrewdly, I looked back to the car. "Do you know who did this?"

She turned her head away from me when I looked up at her.

_Wait! What the hell? _

I was on my feet and taking the three steps I needed to be right by her side.

Brushing the hair away from her neck, I swear I felt my eyes pop out of my head.

I dropped my hands and tightened them to fists, trying to calm my breathing. But there was just no way.

"You want to tell me what the fuck is going on?" My words came out harsh.

I'd just seen her two nights ago. Had she had the humongous bruise and Taser marks then, and I hadn't seen them?

I looked at the ground in front of me. It was the only way I could gain any semblance of control to not lash out at her. She wouldn't open up if I lost it, and I knew it.

When I looked back up, there were silent tears streaming down her face.

There they were—emotions—boiling inside me. It was a mix of compassion and anger. More like fury. I was mad at her for not having told me before now, but even angrier at the person who'd done this to her.

_Why hadn't she called me immediately? _

I swiped at her tears with my finger.

"Stephanie—I need you to tell me what's been going on." My tone was gentler, but she knew I was angry. "Let's go inside."

She nodded, and silently we walked inside. Taking in my surroundings, I noticed nothing looked misplaced from the last time I'd been here. The candles I'd placed on the dining table were where I'd left them before running out of there.

"I could really use a drink," Stephanie said followed by a rather self-condemning laugh.

_So could I._ But I wasn't about to let either of us get inebriated in order for her to tell me what had happened.

I broached my initial question. "Tell me why you needed Bob's vet records."

"I told you; he bit someone," she glared at me.

"I know that, but _who_ did he bite," I matched her attitude.

I should've guessed. This was going to be like fucking pulling teeth.

When she looked away from me again, I cupped her chin and forced her to meet my eyes.

"Cupcake, I _need_ you to tell me what happened. I could get into trouble because of Bob biting someone. I need all the facts."

It was a needless reminder. She already knew that, but I'd needed her to understand the importance of what was going on.

It took her a minute, and right as she went to open her mouth to tell me her tale, she collapsed onto a barstool ad started sobbing.

_Oh Jeez!_

Taking the barstool next to her, I scooted it closer and began rubbing circles around her back, making shushing sounds and hoping to calm her.

"Would you be more comfortable on the couch?"

When she didn't respond, I effortlessly picked her up and brought her to the recliner.

I made a mental note to get her to eat more. I'd noticed before she'd lost weight, but I hadn't realized how much until she was in my arms.

The recliner required her to be on my lap where she couldn't escape, and I could hold her. I needed the affirmation she was all right—at least physically.

I'd been through almost every terrifying kind of event with her when she was a bounty hunter. I knew what my role was and how much support she would need. Normally, it would've taken weeks for her to finally breakdown like this.

I had to get the facts, and that's just what I did. She cried, but told me everything that'd happened after I'd left Wednesday night. At least I hoped it was everything.

"Joe," she said to me, but I didn't hear her.

My eyes were burning with rage. If I _ever_ saw Alex he would pay!

"Joe," she said again. "I need you to let go of me." Without thinking, I tightened my grip on her. "Joe, please, I can't breathe."

It hit me how tightly I was holding her. As soon as I let go, she heaved in a breath, and I smiled embarrassedly. There were times I didn't know my own strength. Knowing Stephanie wasn't weak or sensitive, I offered an apology that she waved off.

"I don't know if it was Alex who slashed my tires. Detective Stewart hasn't called me. He said he would if Alex was released," she informed me.

I needed to know more about Alex and her relationship with him—as in had he ever assaulted her before? Had he been verbally abusive toward her? Exactly how manipulative was he?

Right that moment however I needed to hear about Alex's status.

"Call him now," I demanded.

She picked up her cell phone and called Detective Stewart. I wanted to rip the phone out of her hand, because I could only hear her 'uh huh's' and 'yeah's'. When I heard the sharp intake of breath and her eyes slammed shut, I knew.

Alex had been released.

Unable to control myself, I yanked the phone away from her.

"Detective Morelli here—TPD and PPD. Why wasn't Ms. Plum called immediately?"

I heard Stephanie trying to calm me down. The plastic in my hand crackled, but I didn't care. When her words didn't work, she let her physical presence calm me slightly by placing her hand on my forearm and lightly running it up and down.

"I'm sorry, sir. I was busy. I just found out for myself," the young detective told me.

"That's no fucking excuse. Did she tell you he slashed her tires?"

"Do we know if that's a fact?" The detective obviously wasn't happy I'd reprimanded him.

"Get your print techs over here immediately. You come too. I'd like to have a word with you."

"We'll be there when we can," he retorted and hung up.

That boy was in for it as soon as he arrived.

* * *

**Steph's POV**

I sat on my couch curled up in a ball.

After telling Joe what'd happened, I felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. The rest of the weight wouldn't be lifted until Alex was back in jail—or if Joe were near me—forever.

As soon as the technicians arrived, Joe was out the door. When I looked out my front window, I saw the techs were separating Joe from Detective Stewart.

_Men._

I felt a little disdainful until I realized just how protective Joe was being. Clearly, he still cared. I smiled as much as I could under the circumstances.

When the technicians were done, Joe told me to call a tow truck to pick up my car. He must've called a friend, because he gave me a referral to an auto body shop where they could replace my tires for cheaper than a Les Schwab.

Not long afterward, I watched my car get loaded onto the flat bed while Joe continued to talk to Detective Stewart. They'd both calmed down toward each other, and I was grateful. I didn't need testosterone to ruin my link to the Philadelphia Police Department.

Suddenly my phone vibrated in my hand.

_Mom._

"Hi Mom." I tried for cheery, but I think I just sounded tired.

"Hey honey. We finally got word on your grandmother's surgery. It's going to happen Monday morning. I need to have her at the hospital by seven. Will you be able to get the time off?"

"Yeah, I'll be there," I whispered.

I didn't know how, but I would be.


	13. Chapter 13

Not mine, JE's**  
**

Thanks to every one following along on my journey! It means a lot :)

Julie and Carol, you guys are amazing. Your friendship and unending support for me and this story is so very appreciated! You are the greatest Beta's in the world!

* * *

**Chapter 13**

**Stephanie's POV**

"You'll be _where_?"

_Huh? _

It was Joe. I hadn't even heard him come inside after I hung up the phone. The look on his face showed real concern and something else I knew all too well.

Annoyance.

Was it toward me? Was it because he had to be here with me? Or was it because of the law enforcement personnel he'd had to deal with outside?

As if the man didn't already have enough to worry about, once again he'd found himself wrapped up in my warped world.

That thought was enough to make me want to cry again.

Ugh—I hated crying. It made me all blotchy and snotty, but mostly it made me feel weak.

Why couldn't I seem to lead a normal life? Was I destined for traumatizing events for the rest of my life?

I shook my head, knowing Joe would get the hint to give me a minute in order to regroup. Deep down I knew Grandma was going to be okay—she had to be—but I didn't want Joe's mercy. He knew how much my grandmother meant to me.

How the hell was I going to get home in time for her surgery? It was Friday night, and my car had just been towed away to have the tires repaired at a shop that was only open Monday through Friday.

"I need to get my car back," I sniffled.

If I kept taking a breath after each small sentence, I wouldn't break down.

Joe gave me a perplexed look. "Norman will have it ready for you Monday. Can't you wait until then?"

"No," I simply stated, taking a deeper breath this time.

Joe's brow furrowed. "And why not?"

If his tone hadn't already shown he didn't understand me, the expression on his face surely did.

At the moment though, I couldn't voice my reasoning, partially because I would _definitely_ be crying if I had to tell him _why_ I needed to be in Trenton. After the rough day I'd had, no doubt it would send me over the edge. Also, I didn't want Joe to take pity on me any more than he already had. Surely pity was why he was still here after the PPD had already left.

Without a car, I'd have to take a taxi to Trenton. Since I'd been put on leave with pay, I wouldn't have to worry too much about the exorbitant cost.

There—problem solved.

"You should really be getting home." I told Joe, noticing how tired he looked.

I knew he'd had a long day _before_ he got my call.

"Um, do you mind if I keep Bob another night though?" I asked tentatively. By not heading to Trenton that evening, I needed a companion to get through the long, scary night ahead.

Joe looked startled. "You're fucking kidding me, right, Cupcake? You aren't serious are you?"

It was my turn to look astonished. Could he really not understand I wanted Bob for one more night to feel safe? _One night._ That was all I was requesting. He'd lived without Bob for far longer than that, and it hadn't even been my fault!

My voice raised several octaves as I tried to get through to him.

"Uh—no—I'm not kidding you, Morelli. In fact, I'm deadly serious. I can't believe you're not going to let me keep Bob. How can you not understand why I—?"

I abruptly stopped talking when I saw Joe's face grow red around the edges. I was definitely poking at the wrong beast tonight.

He took a moment to stare me down. I saw the look in his eyes and immediately bristled. They weren't angry really—more like assessing.

_Oh boy!_ I had a feeling I wasn't going to like what he was thinking.

"I _do_ understand why you want him. What I _don't_ understand is why you don't want more than a dog to be with you? Bob's never acted as a protector before, and he might never again. He was only with you for a single night and trouble came along. You're smart enough to realize that one or both of you could've been seriously injured or—" He let his sentence hang, and he was right.

Alex could have killed us.

I wasn't about to let Joe think he had the upper hand though.

"I have my gun. I doubt Alex will be back anytime soon. He has to know the cops are looking for him," I shot back.

Joe's hands flew into the air. "We don't even know if it _was_ Alex! This could've been anyone. And your gun—when was the last time you used the thing? Do you even have bullets for it?"

_Was he purposefully trying to rile me up?_ If so, he was doing a hell of a job of making me defensive.

"Yes," I hissed, "I have bullets for my gun! But I don't want to kill anyone with it—just scare him! This—" I said, motioning outside to where my car used to be parked, "couldn't be anyone _but_ Alex. No one else has any reason to—to mess with me."

My voice hitched at the last part. I hated not feeling safe, and the past three days had really shaken me.

"Maybe you're right, but I still don't think you should be alone with just a dog to protect you tonight," he responded calmly.

_Was he saying what I thought he was saying?_

I eyed him carefully. He damn well knew there weren't any Rangeman employees in this town to watch over me. And there was no way a cop would sit in front of my house all night.

I stood there staring at him.

"Jesus! Do I need to spell it out for you?" he all but exploded, having waited long enough with no response from me. "I'm going to stay here tonight—or we can go to my place. Either way—you aren't staying alone tonight with _Bob_. I don't give a shit what you say. I'm not going anywhere."

I stood there in shock. That is exactly what I thought he'd been saying, but my emotions wouldn't allow me believe it. While his staying certainly didn't solve my 'get to Trenton' dilemma, I wasn't about to deny myself any time with Joe.

"You don't mind?" I asked. My insides were doing a celebration. It was as if God was answering every one of my prayers.

"No, at least until we find out if Alex was behind this incident," he said. Lowering his voice, as if speaking to himself, he added, "It'd make me feel better at least."

I tried to give him an out. "Only if you're sure."

From the attitude he'd displayed thus far tonight, it sure didn't seem like I was entirely on his good side.

Regardless it was more than apparent he still cared.

* * *

**Joe's POV**

_What the hell was she thinking? Was I sure? _

_Of COURSE I was sure—_unless she'd wanted Bob to stay instead of me. That couldn't be it, at least I hoped not!

"Yes, Steph, I'm sure," I replied, trying to keep my annoyance with her standoffish attitude out of my voice.

I'd just spent nearly five hours outside with the Philadelphia Police Department, hovering around them to make sure they didn't miss a single print or hair—_nothing_. Who knew what could've happened if I hadn't been there. It hadn't seemed to me that anyone was asking the right questions or doing what they were supposed to be doing in an orderly manner.

That's what happened when a police department sends out a bunch of rookies!

For Christ's sake—slashed tires could lead to slashed body parts!

After clarifying several times I wasn't the lead detective on the case—let alone a detective with their state—I backed off only a little. I let them know I was there for my _friend, _and that I was a head detective with the TPD.

Every time I'd slipped and said girlfriend. Old habits were hard to break. Good thing Stephanie hadn't been around to correct me.

The young detective Stewart and I had also spoken _after_ we'd each declared our territory. He'd seemed to know how to do his job, but had failed to know the urgency at which tasks needed to be completed and when. I wouldn't say I'd threatened him.

More like I'd made him aware I'd be watching his _every_ move on the case.

God, I needed a break more than ever, and I'd just added whatever the hell was going on with Stephanie to my own personal caseload.

Without a doubt though, her safety would take top priority.

I'd been snappy with everyone from the moment I'd awakened that morning, and not one person had deserved it—least of all Stephanie. But she hadn't been spared my attitude either.

Probably it was due to having gotten almost no sleep the previous night. Instead I'd constantly tried to come up with ways to catch the truck burglars.

I'd been working almost six days a week for the last nine months. The trucking case was wearing on me—and _not_ because of its complexity. It should've been an easy investigation, but the thieves were freaking elusive. I almost felt out of touch. I'd never had a case last this long—five months at the most—and I couldn't help but blame myself for our failure thus far.

If I were at home, I'd be working on several murder cases at a time—usually five or more. That's when I did my best work, because the investigations tended to move quickly. While stressful, the fast-paced work reminded me I was alive.

Scrubbing my hands over my face, I looked over at Steph, who was staring at me in—what? Awe? Surprise?

"Have you eaten?" I asked. I needed to unwind and experience a little normalcy.

"No," she shook her head. "Truthfully, I'm really not that hungry either."

I gave her a stern look. "You need to eat. You can't let this shit affect you so much."

"Excuse the hell out me!" she barked. Angry fire was in her eyes, a welcome reprieve from the listlessness that had been there only moments ago. "I'm a little out of shape when it comes to being scared shitless!"

I couldn't help but chuckle. It was a sad truth. She was an amazing woman, having dealt with more than anyone's fair share of insane people. But she'd always pulled through somehow. I'd never expected her to want to live a 'normal' existence, but there she was. Except for Alex—her life was normal.

Her eyes shot daggers at me, and I quickly got a hold of myself.

"Sorry, Cupcake, I'm not laughing at you—I swear."

"Oh really? So what _are_ you laughing at?" Her hands were on her hips.

_God, I wanted her. _

They needed to find Alex before my dick took over this temporary living arrangement.

"I don't even know anymore—my life." I shrugged shoulders. "Come on, let's find you something to eat."

"Hmmm, your life, huh?" she pressed. It was obvious she was on the cusp of getting angry over my answer.

"Sorry, Cupcake. Listen, I'm just tired."

A flash of guilt flew across her face, so I hastened to reassure her, "It has nothing to do with you."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

She was going to kill me for using her answer. "Not right now, but maybe later."

She lifted a brow at me and then must have decided her best action would be not to talk about it anymore, because she announced instead, "I don't feel like cooking."

"That's fine," I tossed over my shoulder, making my way into the kitchen. "It's not as if I can't cook."

I started going through her pantry. _Where were all the Tasty Cakes? Milky Ways? Sugar?_

No longer even looking for anything to heat up for dinner, instead I was looking for evidence that _my_ Stephanie lived and ate there.

"Are you having difficulty finding something?" she asked, and I jumped slightly, not having expected her.

"Yeah, your sugar hoards. I don't see anything in here." Disbelief was evident in my voice.

She gave me an embarrassed smile. "I don't keep much, otherwise I think I'd look like Val at the end of her pregnancy with Lisa."

I raised my eyebrows. Since nothing good could possibly come from my commenting on _that_ explanation, I turned my attention back to the pantry.

"You're not going to find anything to eat in there. I need to go to the store—that is unless you want to eat Bob's food."

"Fine, let's go pick up something, and then we can get clothes from my place."

"Do you want to stay at your home, so you're more comfortable?" she asked while putting on a lightweight jacket.

Using my years old excuse, I looked over at the mutt of the house lounging on the sofa with his legs up.

"No, Bob never relaxes that much at my place."

Really it was the fact that her house was more of a home. Also, if Alex _did_ come back to do or say anything to Steph, I'd be there to pound the shit out of him—er—I mean—arrest him.

* * *

**Steph's POV**

Snuggled into Joe's SUV with Bob and him, we set off to get a bag of clothes for Joe and then to pick up some take-out from a deli he swore rivaled Pino's pizza—but not their subs.

I was in Heaven. Well, as close as I could get. There would need to be some minor adjustments before I would really be in pure bliss. Like having Joe's hand intertwined with mine, or him telling me how much he loved me.

For now I had to settle with watching both of his hands on the steering wheel and being surrounded by the smell of him and the comfort that scent brought me. There wasn't much that could shove my problems into the denial compartment faster than merely the very essence of Joe. He could wash away any and all unpleasant thoughts without trying.

The man himself interrupted my basking in him by clearing his throat.

"Yes?" I asked moments later when he still hadn't said anything.

I could see his jaw working, so I knew he was thinking, and, from what I could tell, he wasn't coming to a very positive conclusion.

"Tell me a little about your relationship with Alex."

I sat there for a moment. Joe and I _never_ talked about past relationships. Hell, we barely were able to talk about the one _we_ once had.

I shrugged my shoulders. "We dated."

He let out a snort. "I gathered that. I want to know what the relationship was like."

"What do you mean?" I demanded, fully knowing what he wanted.

How was I supposed to tell the man I loved and had _never_ allowed to dictate my actions in the past that I'd allowed another man to control me?

He looked over at me, and from the light of the dashboard, I could see the Jersey eye roll.

"How did you meet?" He corrected himself, "I mean—I think I know _that,_ but how was he toward you in the beginning?"

"We met that night at the restaurant—you know, the one where I saw you in Trenton and we danced." I sighed, thinking of how good it had felt to be in Joe's arms that night.

"Uh huh, keep going," he coaxed.

_Jeez, he knew me too well, as I'd purposefully ignored his first question._

"Turned out he was my boss when I moved here. Honest, I had no idea. He was really nice, and one night he asked me on a date."

"And you didn't sense anything?"

"No, it really came on all at once when I realized he wasn't how he'd first appeared."

"When did you realize he wasn't nice?" he nudged me along again.

Thinking for a second, it hit me. "I went over to his house for dinner one night. We watched a movie afterward, and I fell asleep…"

I let my voice trail off, realizing when things had changed and how long I'd been too afraid of losing a relationship to do anything about it.

"You fell asleep and then what, Steph?"

Joe's hands gripped the steering wheel tighter, and I could hear the rubber squeak.

"Jesus, Cupcake, don't tell me he touched you without your consent. _Please_ tell me that didn't happen," he pled.

"No! No—he didn't do anything like that."

The fear I'd seen in Joe's eyes quickly turned to irritation. It felt good to know he was worried, and yet I didn't want to get my hopes up it was because he still loved me.

"Then what did he do?"

"_He_ didn't do anything."

"Can you _please_ spit it out already? What happened?" he questioned, no longer even trying to suppress his irritation with me.

We must've been building exasperation off one another. He didn't like the fact I wasn't being more forthcoming, and I wasn't happy because I didn't want him to ask questions.

"I had a nightmare during the movie. That night, when I left his home, he was aggravated with me, and I think something snapped inside of him."

I was getting more agitated as he prodded me. _Had I not made it obvious I didn't want to talk?_

"What about that night would have made him snap?" Joe was on the hunt for a clue and was determined if nothing else.

"I—uh—when I had my nightmare, I said something. Definitely it had to be what broke the camel's back."

I thought about it some more. "But he didn't change super-fast, or maybe I was blind—I don't know. Anyway—things were pretty normal for a while, but then he started trying to change me. He _did_ change me. And then I got a little scared, but it wasn't him I was scared of. Lula pointed out—"

I'd started rambling for I knew what his next question would be. Sure enough, he cut me off.

"What did you say to him?"

"It's not important." I glared at him. He was being pushy, and I didn't appreciate it.

"You said you thought it was the straw that broke the camel's back. How is it _not_ important?"

He'd finally succeeded in poking me just the right way, and I practically exploded, throwing my hands in the air.

"I called out for you, Joe! My nightmare made me call out for _you_."

He was silent while I settled myself; embarrassed by the way I'd exploded on him when he was just trying to get more information on how I'd found myself in the position I was in today.

"You had a nightmare about me?" he asked sounding slightly devastated.

A derisive laugh came through as I clarified, "No, I had a bad dream and called for you to help me."

"Oh."

Just the response I needed.

_Not._

I couldn't venture a guess what was going through his mind. Was he thinking I was a complete mess up? That I was stupid and desperate for calling out for him?

The sounds of the truck took over as we both sat quietly, letting our own thoughts sustain us. _Surely he wasn't judging me._

_Right?_

"How did he change?"

I almost jumped at his voice, as did Bob.

This had to be the longest car ride I'd _ever_ taken. Probably Joe lived within a mile of my house, but he was driving me all around the city. He knew there was no way I could escape his questions in the car.

Ratfink!

I looked over at him. I really didn't want to talk about Alex—especially to Joe.

Absently rubbing Bob's head that lay on the center console, I was surprised when Joe took my hand. Those warm chocolate eyes looked into mine.

"You can talk to me, Cupcake. You should know that."

I knew he was right. If there was anyone I could talk to, it should be him. We'd just never had that kind of relationship—which had probably been both of our faults. We'd each been fearful of getting hurt, and damage had resulted because of our lack of communication.

Perhaps it was time to change that.

Maybe it was time to get beyond surface stuff and express ourselves in ways other than non-verbally in the bedroom.

After all—we'd both gotten hurt in the process.

But some things—like love—couldn't be deterred even if you tried.

"Why won't you tell me what's going on in that busy head of yours?" he asked quietly. His expression was still soft—and tired.

I gave in to my 'just go with it' feeling.

"I guess I don't want you to be disappointed."

"Disappointed? Cupcake, I'm already disappointed."

My mouth dropped open. _This_ was why I didn't share my feelings. He really needed to censor himself if he wanted to live long enough to see morning.

"You're _already _disappointed?" I sounded like a prepubescent boy with my high- pitched voice.

"Not in _you_." He shook his head, looking scared. Good! "Well, maybe a _little_ in you, but mostly in Alex and the cops and your work."

"Why in me?" I couldn't help but ask.

He waited until we were at a red light to answer, and, when he did, he looked over at me. I almost wanted to tear up because of the sadness raining down upon his face.

"Because you didn't come to me. You never _once_ called to say something might be wrong."

"_Excuse_ me—you were at the barbeque. You mean you didn't see the way he treated me there?"

* * *

**Joe's POV**

I watched Stephanie rub her wrist where Alex had grabbed her the day of Marisa's barbeque and felt the same anger course through me as it had that day.

"Yes, I saw, but I was stopped from ripping Alex apart. It wasn't that long ago, Steph. What—last Saturday? I've seen you twice since then. I know I should've done something. God, I _know_ I should have," I berated myself.

It was her turn to comfort me by grabbing my hand that she'd previously released.

"It's not your fault, Joe."

I went to correct her, and that's when she bowled me over.

"It isn't."

Since it was too late to place blame—not that I would ever blame her—I got the conversation back on track.

"You said he was nice until you had your nightmare. Nothing else set him off? Detective Stewart said Alex told him you still belonged to him."

She scoffed at the information.

"Yeah, right! We ended things before I came back from Trenton a few weeks ago."

If this case was anything like most domestic violence cases I'd worked, then there had to be more than what she was telling me—which would be no surprise. From what she was saying, he went from being nice to controlling in a hot second. The only true conclusion I could come up with is that they'd slept together.

_Shit._

I worked to control my facial features, because I didn't want her to see what I was thinking. Yes, I wanted to know the truth because of the developing case, but I also wanted to know because she was my ex-girlfriend.

Ex-girlfriend.

I still hadn't been able to get over the fact we were no longer together, and I couldn't keep up with my brain changing its mind on whether I wanted her back in my life or not.

"Okay—but there was _nothing_ else that could've triggered this—this—what would you even call it? An attitude change?" I surged on.

"If you're asking if we had sex, the answer is no," she stated firmly.

I tried to hide the happiness that immediately coursed through me. In all the time I'd known Steph, she'd never been celibate. She wasn't a slut or anything, but I was starting to think maybe it _was_ just me she couldn't keep her hands off of.

I felt a cocky smile appear on my face and quickly wiped it off. _Thank God it was dark out!_

We were almost to my apartment. I'd taken a few detours to make the car ride last longer, but I was tired of driving. I needed her to walk me through the change in Alex—fast.

"No, that wasn't what I was looking for."

_Liar_

"But I won't deny it's good information to have—for the case."

"Uh huh."

She'd seen right through me but persevered and told me her woeful story, explaining how Alex and her had met again after the night we'd danced. She explained how they'd started dating and had taken things ultra-slow. When she started telling me about how Alex had started changing and had passively started to control and manipulate her I was livid. She went on to explain how he'd treated her the last time they were in Trenton in front of her friends and family.

There was _no_ way I would ever be able to be within a hundred yards of the guy without strangling him. Thank God for restraining orders. Since I'd be by Steph's side when she wasn't working, I wouldn't be able to get within reaching distance of Alex's neck.

I pulled into my designated parking spot in my apartment complex just as Stephanie finished. She wasn't looking at me, and I could understand why. She was embarrassed, and even though I'd told her I wouldn't be disappointed in her, it was still a real fear for her.

I put the car in park, and she immediately went for the door handle.

"Wait," I said quietly.

When she still didn't look in my direction, I placed my hand at the back of her neck and slowly turned her face toward me.

"I'm not disappointed in you, Steph. It was a life experience I'm sorry you went through, but I'm _not _disappointed."

She nodded, barely acknowledging I'd spoken.

"Your instincts are so good. I'm truly surprised you didn't suspect anything right away."

"Me too," she agreed glumly.

"You never explained what drew you to him in the first place. He doesn't really seem like your type."

"I don't know. He was nice and handsome. I wasn't aware I had a type."

I went for light hearted. "You're right. Dickie was nothing like me."

"Except for the ego, you two are complete opposites," she shot back and smiled.

Her smile was catching. "No way is my ego as big as his. Come on, Cupcake, you got to give me that at least," I grinned.

And it wasn't—at least I hoped.

"Fine, you win this round," she conceded playfully.

"You must've been pretty desperate. I just remember the way he introduced himself. I thought he was the biggest twerp I'd ever met."

She made a disgusted sound.

"You should really be more selective about the people you date," I said without thinking.

She'd already been picking at herself over dating Alex, but I didn't want her dating anyone _at all_. Call me selfish, but that was how I felt.

"I _am_ selective!" Her eyes narrowed, and had they been used as a weapon, I'd surely be dead.

"Sure you are," I taunted for no reason. Probably it was left over from my mood earlier in the evening, but I didn't want her to take me too seriously. I smiled instead.

"Jesus Joe, are you saying you think I'd take up with just _anyone_?"

I gave her a withering glance. She _had_ to know to whom I was referring—and it wasn't Alex.

_Ranger_

"Everyone I've dated I've trusted. Whether it was founded or not is no longer up for discussion," she defended.

It still didn't change anything. _She_ may have trusted the men she'd been involved with, but _I _didn't. That included Dickie, but _especially _Ranger.

* * *

**Stephanie's POV**

_Oh my God! _

Not only was Joe insulting me for my relationship with Alex, but I was almost positive he'd brought up Ranger and that whole—whatever you would name it—because it sure as hell hadn't been a _relationship_.

Once again he was showing he wasn't over what I'd done to him with Ranger in the past. It was most definitely a topic that needed to be hashed through—but not today. I'd _already_ had an emotional day. I didn't need to be brought to a breaking point.

"Joe—I'm going to ask you an honest question, and I expect and honest answer."

His lips turned down in a thoughtful gesture, but he nodded. As luck would have it, he had a playful look in his eyes as well.

"Do you want to live?"

What I'd said was not what he'd been expecting. When I'd first opened my mouth, I could tell he'd been ready for an argument. When what I said sank in, he shook his head and laughed.

The tense moment was broken.

"Jeez, Steph, I think I've said worse to you before."

I punched him in the arm. _Whatever._ He wasn't taking me seriously.

Deciding again to be a grown-up, I didn't want Joe to think I was trying to escape our adult conversation over Ranger like I had in the past.

"I know what you were thinking a minute ago."

He raised his eyebrows at me, as if suggesting I continue, so I did.

"When the time is right, we can talk about it, but today just isn't it, okay?"

Joe contemplated what I'd said, probably mentally debating on if I was telling the truth or not. This time I was, and he needed to know it somehow.

"I'll even let you bring it up instead of waiting for me."

My comment must've done the job, because he replied, "Okay, Cupcake."

It never got old hearing him say my nickname.

With that we both got out of the car, Bob following behind me. We went up a flight of stairs, and I could tell Joe hated this place. He hadn't said much about it, but I knew he'd lived in this apartment since moving from Trenton.

When he opened the door, I was definitely caught by surprise.

After Joe had first inherited Aunt Rose's house, I couldn't picture him making it his home. I couldn't see him growing up and out of how his first apartment had been decorated, which was basically nothing—television—couch—fridge. Although, I suspect even _then_ he'd paid good money for a mattress.

_This_ was lower than a bachelor pad.

I followed behind him as he walked through to his bedroom. Not only was there a shitty mattress and fridge, the couch looked as thought it had come from a _fifth_ hand store.

I could see why Bob would prefer my house—_not_ that he'd spent a lot of time in this apartment, but I'd bet money on the fact he wouldn't even eat this furniture.

"Where'd that hole come from?" I asked, scanning the room while Joe gathered items from his drawers.

_Ewwww._

It was a guarantee he wouldn't be getting any action on that thing called a box spring and hay bale—from me or anyone else—_even_ if he paid them—and there was _no way_ Morelli would _ever _have to pay _anyone_.

It took every ounce of self-control in me not to do a happy dance knowing Joe more than likely hadn't bedded anyone in the time we'd been apart. Of course I couldn't be completely sure. I'd have to find out in the same manner as Joe had—without asking.

In answer to my question, he grunted, "Bad day."

"Must've been beyond horrific if you put a hole in the wall."

I could think of many bad days he'd had in the past because of me, and he'd never caused damage anywhere I could tell.

"I couldn't agree more."

He zipped up the duffel he'd packed and—much to my enjoyment—it looked like he was going to be staying for a while, at least once I got back from Trenton. Following my train of thought, we walked back through the apartment, and Joe shut off the lights.

"Why'd you need your car so badly earlier?"

Amazingly, I was in a much better emotional state now than when he'd first prodded for an answer, so I decided to tell him. If he hadn't felt too sorry for me over Alex, surely he wouldn't find me a charity case as to why I was going back to Trenton.

I hoped.

"Grandma Mazur is going in for surgery on Monday, and since I don't have to be at work, I'm going home to help my mother take care of her."

"Oh? What's the surgery for? Is she okay?"

I lifted myself into Joe's SUV, which provided me a moment to take a deep breath. I didn't want to tear up. The doctor may have said she was going to be fine, but I wasn't stupid. Anything could happen when they put you under and ripped you open.

"She has breast cancer. They're going to remove the growths."

I was proud. My voice hadn't even quivered. I'd stayed strong.

I could do this.

"I didn't know. I'm sorry Steph."

Joe looked at me, and I was almost positive I didn't see pity. Compassion was there, however, and his wheels were definitely turning.

"Yeah, me too. But she's going to be okay. It's Grandma Mazur!"

That was the truth. If anyone was strong enough to get through an ordeal like hers, it was my grandmother. She may have gotten on my nerves with her eccentricities, but behavior like that was what would pull her through.

Joe gave me a tight smile, and we made the rest of the ride in silence.

I wasn't the least bit shocked when the ride home took half as long to get there— even with the stop at the pizza joint where we took our dinner to go. Unlocking the front door, I let Joe and Bob in first. Bob went straight for the back door, so I let him out and put the pizza on the nook in the kitchen.

He bounded back in and went straight for the sofa.

"Since Bob's taken over the couch, I'll show you where you can sleep," I quipped to Joe.

"Thanks," he responded, following behind me.

"No, I owe _you_ thanks. You being here—"

I didn't finish my sentence, because I simply couldn't.

Joe staying with me as my protector, after all I'd put him through, was truly a gift, and I didn't want to take it for granted. Most men would've walked away and let their ex deal with the madness on their own.

He smiled. "I get it. I just like knowing you're safe."

"Thanks for that too."

We trooped upstairs, and I directed him around.

"Your bathroom's here." I pointed across the hall to the full bath. "And your bed is here. I'll flip it down for you."

I went to make the futon into a bed, but it was stuck. I made some odd grunting noises trying to push and pull, and Joe began to crack up.

"Let me see," he offered, pushing me aside gently. Much to my chagrin, he effortlessly was able to slide it out and set it down into a bed.

His macho attitude got the best of him, however, when he went to show me again how easy it was to fold it back into a couch. Instead of it coming loose easily again, it jammed.

_Ha! Served him right._

"You have to jiggle it like this," I instructed. Standing next to him, I shimmied the bed as best as I could.

"No, you have to pull. This isn't the first futon I've slept on, Cupcake."

"Uh huh. You do it like this, and then—"

We both had managed to jimmy the futon loose and in the process fell onto it.

_Where was slow motion and rewind when you needed it?_

I headed face first as the bed started to come down, but at the last second turned until I was flopped onto my back. My face showed how scared I was seeing Joe flying down on top of me. He barely had time to brace himself so as not to crush me.

Our mouths were millimeters from one other. If I extended my lips out, they would surely meet his deliciously plump pair.

"Pizza time," he announced, breathing rather raggedly.

I closed my eyes. He wasn't ready. Maybe he'd never be ready. What about the kisses we'd shared earlier in the week?

_No one_ could call me confusing after meeting Joe.

He was impossible to read!

From all that had happened during the day, both Joe and I were pretty tired. After eating pizza and watching mindless TV, we both went upstairs to bed.

During my usual bedtime ritual, I heard Joe's shower go on. I couldn't help but wish I were in there with him, so he could wash away all my dirty thoughts.

Or help me live them.

Those thoughts stayed with me as I drifted off to sleep.

* * *

**Joe's POV**

Taking a shower helped relieve me of some of the pent up tension inside of me. It was an unhealthy mix of sexual tension, stress and worry, but I felt much better when I came out. Steph had left her door a jar, so I walked over and listened.

It wasn't a well thought out action, and I don't know what I would've done had she been awake. But thankfully sounds of sleep were coming from her room.

I just wanted to make sure she was safe.

After checking in on Steph, I unpacked my bag and threw the towel into the hamper she'd left in the room. I then put on a pair of underwear and slipped beneath the covers. Slowly beginning to relax, I thought about the day I'd had before and after Steph. I thought about all my time spent in Philadelphia and how ironic it was Stephanie had found her way there as well.

_Was it all meant to be?_ _Could we have a fresh start away from all that had made us what we were today?_

A loud scream came from the other bedroom, and immediately I grabbed my gun and jumped into action. It took me less than five seconds to slam Stephanie's door open so hard, it came flying back at me.

"Get away—No! Joe! Please stop—stop" were the only words I could make out from her mumbling and nightmarish rant.

Milliseconds later, I was cradling her in my arms. She was trembling and sniveling.

"It's going to be okay," I whispered. "I'm here."

It took her almost ten minutes to calm down, but what surprised me most was she wasn't trying to get out of my hold.

"I—I know I sho—shouldn't be asking you this," she hiccupped, "but can you just ho—hold me?"

It was a pointless question.

Letting go with one arm, I slowly moved back the covers on the side of the bed that'd been left untouched. It wasn't lost on me that it was the side I'd usually slept on when we'd shared a bed in the past.

She was still sniffling. Reaching over to the nightstand, I grabbed a tissue out of the box and passed it over to her.

"Tha—Thank you," she mumbled, and then, trying to cover her embarrassment, joked, "I don't want to get my snot all over you."

"It's okay. Let's get some rest."

We both got under the covers. Stephanie went directly into her usual position—laying her head in the crook of my arm while I was on my back. I was grateful for the dark of night when she gave out a loud, contented sigh. My own smile grew big when I heard it.

I missed this more than anything in the world—Stephanie in my arms—willingly. Even if it was a nightmare that'd brought us right there, right then, I didn't care, and I wasn't going to think about it any further.

I heard Stephanie's breathing even out and knew she was back asleep. As soon as I decided to enjoy the moment and not analyze it, I too succumbed to a night of dreamless sleep.


	14. Chapter 14

Happy Saturday, I hope every one is enjoying their weekend!**  
**

Thank you to all that read/review/favorite. It's always so nice to have the feedback.

Without my wonderful Betas this whole story wouldn't be here. They deserve a giant pat on the back. Thank you, as always to Julie and Carol for your time, patience and wonderful friendship. You both are so amazing.

Have a safe and fun day!

* * *

**Chapter 14**

**Stephanie's POV**

"Shhh, go back to sleep."

"Mmmm," I said and snuggled in closer to Joe.

_What?_

Joe?

My heart started to thud slowly remembering my nightmare and how I'd asked Joe to hold me afterward. I hadn't thought he would stay the _entire_ night—_NOT_ that I minded one bit.

I was embarrassed over the way I'd acted. And now I was nervous since he was _still_ in my bed, and I couldn't seem to get my body to move in the least.

Okay, it wasn't like I was actually _telling_ myself to do anything other than enjoy being in his warmth, and he _had_ basically just told me to stay. What was I supposed to do?

Stay, duh!

It was like the Calgon commercial from when I was younger. The lady in the commercial would be frazzled beyond belief and yell_ 'Calgon, take me away!' _Then she'd be swooped off into a luxurious, relaxing bath—a paradise for her.

Right there, right then, I felt like Calgon had taken me away to my own little personal paradise.

Closing my eyes, I drifted off into even more peaceful slumber.

The next time I awakened, I was on my side with Joe spooning against me, and his arm draped over my waist. Doing my usual stretch to wake up, I noticed Joe—or part of Joe—was awake too.

Yikes!

My body stiffened mid-stretch. I didn't want to give Joe the wrong impression.

But his _impression_ on me had me drooling at the thought of what our usual morning routine had been when we'd been a couple.

I tried to slide away from him, and his arm tightened around my waist. Regardless of whether it was instinct or not, I melted back against him.

"I've been thinking," he said in a low voice, still thick with sleep.

Oh jeez! He _was_ awake.

I cleared my throat. "Hmmm, it's a little early to be doing that, don't you think?"

His rumbling, silent laugh sent shivers down my spine, and an ache throbbed throughout my whole being from wanting to be with Joe. And not just in the physical sense. I ached deeply to make mornings like this a routine.

There was just something about him I'd always drawn strength from—at least whenever I'd allowed myself to give into the feeling. Unfortunately, too many times I'd run instead, and it had never ended well.

"You need a ride to Trenton," he continued his train of thought, relaxing his hold on my waist. His arm was still around me, however, running his fingertips up and down _my_ arm.

It felt _so_ good.

"Mmmm hmmmm." I was in a puddle zone, and that was a good thing.

In the past, I would have been trying to determine what Joe was thinking by now and almost always assuming those thoughts were negative.

As long as he kept rubbing me, I could care less what he was about to say.

"And I need to take some time off work," he continued lazily.

My eyes shot open, and I tensed beside him.

Okay, maybe I did care.

Was he really going to make my wish come true? Was my knight in shining armor going to rush to my rescue yet again?

"How long are you going to be in Trenton?"

His warm breath on my neck as he spoke sent a delicious shiver throughout my body.

Clearing my throat again I added, "I'm not sure how long I'll be out of work, but probably at least a few days if they call me back. If they don't, then I'll probably stay the whole week."

"I'm going to call my teams later today. I could take you home with me," he offered.

I was getting Goosebumps simply from listening to his voice.

"Home?" I repeated dazedly.

Home could be any number of places—his apartment—my parent's—Aunt Rose's house.

"Wherever you're staying in Trenton," he clarified.

"Are you going home too?"

"Yeah, I can relax there. I'll check on my team in Trenton, and then whenever you're ready to come back, I'll bring you."

"You'd do that for me?"

I couldn't help but question him. And yet, I knew if I continued to doubt him, I'd get on his nerves. I was enjoying lying next to him too much for him to leave.

"Yeah, I would. I've barely taken any time off, and I'll still be working."

I loved his sleepy voice. It was waking up along with the rest of his body—even more so than earlier.

"How are you holding up with all that's going on with your grandma?" he finally questioned after a long moment of silence.

"Oh, you know," I hedged, shrugging my shoulders. "I'm good."

Joe stopped rubbing and tightened his hold on me. Closing my eyes, I tried to block out all the bad thoughts of what could happen with Grandma Mazur, digging deep to find the strength Joe was giving me.

"I told you yesterday you can talk to me, Stephanie. That means telling me the truth. You don't always have to be strong."

"I'm scared," I whispered after a few moments and felt Joe nod against my shoulder. "I know she won't always be around. I'm just not ready to let her go." Tears started silently flowing, and I sniffed.

Joe turned me to face him.

Looking directly into my eyes, he said firmly, "Its okay to be scared. You just have to remember there's a plan for all of us. Your grandma is stronger than you realize. She'll make it through this."

I nodded my head, as he wiped away my tears.

Without thinking, I lifted my head and kissed him lightly on the cheek to show my appreciation toward him having been there for me.

Looking into his eyes, there was no way I could resist my next motion.

Lightly I brushed his overgrown hair from his face and caressed his jaw. His jaw tightened immediately—almost as if fighting off the feeling of my touch. Dropping my head once more, I kissed his lips in a feathery touch.

And again.

At first I surprised him, but then he gave himself over and kissed me back.

Before things could get too heated, Joe pulled back.

"Not now," he said with a hint of disappointment.

I did my best to hide my own disappointment. With Joe in close proximity, it was always a struggle to maintain self-control.

"I know; I'm sorry."

He closed his eyes. "Don't be."

Before things could get any more awkward, I decided it was best to give us both some distance.

"One of these days I'm going to have to repay you," I stated, as I got out of bed and started toward the bathroom.

"I can think of _one_ way," he smirked, and I stopped dead in my tracks.

_Hadn't he just told me 'not now'?_

I turned around to face him and noted his bright smile. The earlier awkwardness had been broken. Joe was once again relaxed and at ease. He was being playful, and, as a result, I wanted him that much more.

"Not that, you pervert!"

He merely laughed and stretched.

Licking my lips involuntarily, I knew I needed to get out of the room fast!

"If you're staying there the whole week, would you be coming back Friday or Saturday? Would it be night or day?"

"It depends on what your payback request is."

I had to stare at a spot on the wall just above Joe's head. The sheet had fallen and his yummy chest was bare to my eyes. The way my hormones were raging after the tender kisses we'd just shared, I didn't want to take any more chances. One more look and my legs would be running over to jump him without consent.

* * *

**Joe's POV**

Stephanie in my arms—what a friggin' wonderful way to start a day.

Thank God she'd gotten out of bed. Otherwise, I would have undoubtedly been all over her, regardless of the fact I'd just told her no.

_What an idiot!_

I hadn't wanted her to think I'd ever take advantage of her vulnerability. As a result, I'd had to draw the line.

And then there was our unfinished business.

Steph was standing halfway between the bed and the en suite bathroom. Once again I was struck with how beautiful she really was. Even when I'd stopped by earlier in the week—her hair a mess and her eyes sleepy—she'd still been the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen.

Shit, if she licked her lips one more time, I _was_ going to pounce her, and she'd have no one but herself to blame. However, that wasn't how I wanted to start a relationship. Then again, maybe it was—_after_ we'd talked and sorted through some things.

"If you're staying until Friday night, I'd be nice if you'd join me at a little family get-together?" Her eyes widened in surprise, and I couldn't help but smile.

"There's no such thing as a _little_ family gathering with you, Joe. Did you forget you're a _Morelli_? You also seem to have forgotten your family and I don't mix all that well."

She was right, but it wasn't necessarily my entire family that didn't enjoy Stephanie's company—just one person.

Bella.

"If I have to go to a family dinner, then I need some entertainment." I spoke without thought.

Actually, asking Stephanie to my family dinner had been without _any _thought. My whole family knew we were broken up. Showing up with her to dinner would surely bring more questions than I had answers for right then.

_Was I really ready for all that nonsense when things were still so unsettled between us?_

This morning was proof of how easy it would be to fall back into routine with Stephanie. The thing was I only wanted parts of our 'usual' to be brought back into our new relationship—if we had one.

"Well—" she mused, thinking over my offer.

I hadn't been expecting her to think about dinner at all. In the past, I would've gotten a very firm 'no' from her by now.

"If we leave today, how about we come home Saturday morning—that is if I don't get called back to work, and Grandma is doing well."

"If your grandmother isn't recovering, I don't want you to come to dinner. I didn't think about that. Sorry Cupcake."

Her eyes glittered, and I had to hold back the urge to cradle her like I had the previous night.

Stephanie was a strong person mentally and physically, otherwise there was no way she would've been able endure all she had as a bounty hunter. I could tell, however, that whatever was happening to Edna was testing her resolve.

"Think positive, Cupcake, and pray. That's all you can do."

"I know. Thank you again."

"You take a shower and get dressed. Do whatever it is you need to do. I'm going to make a few phone calls."

She turned and without another word went into her bathroom and started the shower.

Part of me wanted to go in and comfort her. I was certain she was in there crying. We'd both been raised the same way when it came to emotions. Don't show anything unless it's anger or happiness—but not _too_ much happiness.

I had no doubt she'd been holding in every feeling when it came to Grandma, Alex and probably our break-up as well. If I stuck around long enough, I was going to be taken out by a tidal wave of emotions. I could handle it though. It was time I learned to show some of my own emotions better and deal with others' feelings as well.

_Especially_ Stephanie's feelings.

Walking past the bathroom, I stopped momentarily. I was on the brink of opening the door to check on her, but found I couldn't. _Not_ checking on Steph was hard, but I had calls to make in order to get her out of town. And the truth was we needed space from one another.

* * *

**Steph's POV**

I spent nearly forty-five minutes in the shower. Although I felt better, the pain in my chest over what Grandma Mazur was about to go through both physically and mentally still ached. I'd been doing my best to ignore how I was feeling about her illness since having out she had cancer. Joe had brought all of my true feelings to the surface. Or maybe it was because in less than two days a doctor was going to cut open my seventy something year old Grandmother. Either way, I was upset.

I couldn't decide if I should be embarrassed or grateful Joe was there with me. In the end, I was thankful for his presence—at least until he dropped me off at my parent's house. In our past, there had been times where we'd been able to talk like adults but what we'd just experienced in bed that morning had been uncharted territory for us.

_That_ had been personal and emotional and delicate.

I finished dressing and pulled out a duffel bag to pack for a week in Trenton. The weather was starting to get cooler, so I packed accordingly. I could hear Joe's muffled voice coming from down the hall. He was probably on the phone in his room. Part of me felt guilty to be taking up his time and having him drive me to Trenton, but the other part was relishing the fact he was devoting his time to me.

I wondered what it would be like when we got to Trenton. Surely there would be at least a dozen rumors started when we got into the city limit. To prevent such things from happening, I called Mary Lou to let her know all that had happened within the last week and gave her a heads up Joe was driving me to my parent's house.

After reminding me of what a great guy Joe Morelli was, she guaranteed if she heard anything other than the truth, she would set everyone straight. I reminded her she was the best friend a girl could have in a lifetime.

"I'll be praying for Grandma Mazur. You'll call if you need me, won't you?" was her parting comment.

"You'll be the first one," I promised.

After I hung up, I sent Lula a text letting her know I'd be in town but more than likely unable to meet up with her. She was surprisingly understanding about it, considering how she'd been upset with me before when I hadn't been able to see her during one of my fast visits. Probably her new fiancé was keeping her happy and busy.

Yuck.

As long as I didn't think about what would be keeping Lula _busy,_ I was pretty excited to meet this guy.

Putting the last few items I would need in my bag, I dialed Ranger. I'd told him I would contact him next time I was in Trenton so we could discuss the business opportunity he had for me.

"Yo."

"Do you ever come up with new lines?" I asked.

"Haven't we been over this? I'm a creature of habit."

"No need to remind me," I said dryly, "I'm going back home today, but the only free time I'll have for sure is tomorrow. Would you possibly have time for lunch or dinner to talk?"

"Let's do lunch. I have plans for dinner. I'll let Tank know."

"Does Ranger have a dinner _date_?" I teased.

For as long as I'd known Ranger, he had rarely met clients for dinner.

"What's it to you?" he asked, and I could tell I'd hit a tiny nerve with him.

I laughed, because it was very rare I could get under Ranger's thick skin.

"Nothing. I just thought you were a creature of habit."

"Babe."

I could have bet money on that response. Ranger didn't like being provoked, and that was his typical way of ending it. One day he'd have to lighten up!

We decided to meet at a new café the following afternoon and said our goodbyes.

Well, I said goodbye; Ranger hung up.

Deciding to give him a little more hell, I texted him with a message, saying if he wanted a relationship to last, he needed to work on his phone manners. He texted me back, saying he'd see me tomorrow, and I knew I'd won.

I giggled at that. Giving Ranger a hard time would be fun. I wouldn't have to worry too much about retaliation.

In the past, any time I would even try to make Ranger stumble, he'd applied his sexual pressure, and I'd lose track of what I was trying to do.

"You about ready?" Joe came into my room, interrupting my thoughts. He nodded at my bag.

"Yup," I replied, smiling, "I'm ready."

Ah, I really did feel so much better after my shower.

"Good I'll meet you at the car."

Following his exit, I stood in my bedroom for a few more seconds sniffing the air. It smelled like freshly cleaned Joe. No matter what shower gel or cologne he used, his smell was like a freaking pheromone that sent signals out to greet my nose and expand through my body.

Snapping myself out of the Joe haze, I grabbed my phone charger, along with Rex and headed out the door, locking up behind me.

I was quiet until we hit the highway.

"Are you excited to sleep in your own bed tonight?"

"God yes. You saw the mattress in the apartment."

"Yeah, that thing was—"

We both laughed, since I couldn't come up with a good description for how bad it really was.

We fell into a fairly comfortable silence while Joe navigated the roads. After thirty minutes of quiet, I couldn't take it any longer.

"I'm having lunch with Ranger tomorrow," I finally blurted, wringing my hands together.

For better or worse, I needed to have this conversation with Joe.

Using his strategy of locking him in a place he couldn't get out of—not to mention where he couldn't fling his arms around too much—I decided this is where the truth would come out.

He spared a glance out of the corner of his eyes but didn't look at me. He barely flinched. He did however repeatedly loosen and tighten his grip on the steering wheel.

"Nice," he said finally, although I could tell he meant the exact opposite.

"We're getting together to talk about the job he might have for me."

* * *

**Joe's POV**

"_Okay_," I replied, overly enunciating the single word.

"Listen, I've made a lot of mistakes in our past, and even though we aren't together, I _know_ you deserve an explanation."

Stephanie surprised the hell out of me with her declaration. I almost felt bad for her discomfort, but the thing was—I _did_ deserve an explanation. I just didn't want it right then while I was driving.

"I'm not sure the car is the best place to talk."

"Too bad," she shot back with so much force it surprised me.

I still hadn't looked at her. I just wasn't ready.

"Because we're talking about this _now_," she continued rather heatedly. "I've put it off long enough. I feel like talking about it now so that's it. We're doing it now."

_Sigh._

"Fine."

"I'd like to start by saying I'm sorry. I'm sorry for all the pain I've caused over Ranger. I'm sorry I'm not the woman you deserve. I'm sorry I fought you on everything you've ever asked of me. But mostly—" She paused and sniffed. "Mostly, I'm sorry I didn't see the damage I was doing to you and me—individually and together—sooner." Despite starting off strong, her emotions had risen to the surface.

I thought I'd wanted to hear the story behind her and Ranger. Now that she was talking, I just wanted her to shut up—and yet I didn't. As nice as it was to hear her apology, it made me furious she hadn't seen the destruction she was causing _while _it was happening.

I managed to give her a slight nod. Just like the other night, I knew I had to keep my calm if I wanted her to continue. It wouldn't do either of us any good if I lost my temper and ran us off the road.

My stomach was doing summersaults. I needed Maalox—pronto.

"I don't know how to fix every bad thing I've done," Stephanie went on miserably. "I can't take any of it back. I wasn't the pe—person you needed me to be, but I've done some changing. And a—a lot of thinking. You tell me what you want to know and I'll t-t-t—tell you. It's probably going to hurt both of us, but in the long run—"

A single tear had managed to escape, and she swiftly wiped it away.

"In the long run, it will help both of us to move on."

_Move on? _

Was that what she wanted?

I wasn't even sure if_ I _wanted to 'move on', and_ I_ was the one who'd gotten screwed over the years!

So many questions were running through my brain. How? Who? Where? When? I finally landed on the one that seemed most important.

"Why?"

My jaw practically broke from not screaming the word. The instantaneous anger I felt anytime I thought about her and Ranger together once again ate at my insides.

_How long had I wanted to ask that simple, stupid question?_

She huffed some more.

"Stop doing that with your hands!" I scolded, noting her wringing hands. "It's distracting."

No, it was friggin' driving me nuts!

Her lip curled, and she looked like she was going to bitch at me.

"Why?" I repeated hastily, hoping to keep her focused.

"There isn't a clear cut answer. I don't know."

"Yes, there is," I bit out. My jaw was working overtime. "There's an answer for everything."

Detective Joe was coming out. I hadn't been able to find answers for three fucking years. She had to have at least _one_.

Her voice rose. "It isn't that easy! I was immature, scared, confused, and I didn't have a lot of confidence in myself or us."

"I'm not asking how you were _feeling_." She hadn't cared how _I_ felt while she was hooking up with Ranger. "I'm asking how your relationship happened with Ranger. How did feelings of friendship turn into a sexual relationship?"

I knew my eyes were angry and cold, but I made no move to hide it.

"Argh!" she grunted to herself. "It's not like it was overnight! We were friends and then—"

She paused and shook her head.

"You and I had broken up. You showed no interest in getting back together. You told me you loved me, but you weren't interested in a relationship. You even said there was no 'us'." Her voice was barely a whisper as she spoke the last sentence.

I remembered telling her all those things plus more. Every time I'd wanted to kick myself, but I'd felt the need to protect myself. It was clear now how much I'd hurt her as well.

"Ranger had been working with me on finding Evelyn and Annie. He and I—we were spending more time together, and I got to know him better." She pushed the memory away. "_You_ and I—"

She paused yet again to gather her thoughts. Clearly this was getting harder for her.

"You and I were going in the opposite direction. I ended up spending one night with Ranger."

I took deep breaths. In through the nose—out through the mouth. Repeat.

"Did you ever want more than one night? Why was it only one night? We weren't broken up for only a day." I rapidly fired off questions toward her, not even sure where they were coming from.

"I cheapened myself," she admitted, berating herself for the decision. "Going into it, I knew there was no possibility of another night even if I'd wanted one."

_Good!_

"But did you?" I pushed again, needing the answer, and then clarified, "Want another one?"

"Maybe. It's all so fucked up. A part of me missed being with you even more afterward. Ranger told me you loved me and that I needed to fix things with you."

"What!" I yelled, about driving us off the road.

My fury was about to be unleashed in the SUV.

"We got back together because _Ranger_ told you to? Steph—"

"No! Shut up and listen! He _knew_ I wanted to be with you. He merely gave me the push I needed."

"Oh—gee—that makes me feel so much better. You had your one night with Ranger and came back to me because he gave you the okay!"

"Shut. Up. Joe."

"Fine! Go on then." I was breathing heavily, feeling only slightly better after having yelled.

I couldn't believe the shit I was hearing!

"Afterward, we exchanged some words and both decided it was for the best we didn't take anything further. And we didn't for a very long time."

I wasn't sure I could believe that. She'd been more forthcoming than ever, however, so I almost felt like I had no other choice.

She wiped her weeping eyes again. "You and I got back to—together. We'd be fine for a while, and then something small would happen—I didn't buy toast or you didn't help me on a case—and then we'd break up. It was the worst cycle ever. I think both of us were loo—looking for ways out, but for some reason were always drawn back again. Finally we decided on seeing other people."

I was amazed at the level of control I'd been able to keep after my little blow up. I'd known exactly when her relationship with Ranger had changed. I'd somehow managed to get over it though, because as she'd said, we hadn't been together. We'd just gotten un-engaged, and that had helped me to justify it.

It was still bullshit though.

I was about to fight her—yet again—about the whole open relationship issue. _We_ hadn't agreed. It was more like I'd been given two choices—do I have Stephanie at all in my life or only a little? At the time, I'd been willing to settle on any amount she'd give me.

_What a moron!_

I _had_ to keep my mouth shut. I knew if I opened it, I'd regret anything I said. And yet—I _had_ to know!

"Before Hawaii, did you ever cheat on me?" My teeth never separated as I ground out the question.

I stopped there. Hawaii was a whole other set of freakin' questions. I never had gotten the full scoop of what Ranger had been doing there. But I didn't have to ask what _they_ were doing there.

_Shit._

I'd cross that bridge when I got there.

"No! Yes—I—we—yes," she fumbled, and immediately her eyes welled with tears.

"Which one is it?" My teeth felt permanently stuck together.

"Yes."

Her jaw quivered. Leaning back against the headrest, she stared at the ceiling.

"Ranger applied pressure the whole time we were together."

"Jesus," I cursed bitterly, wanting to punch something—mainly Ranger's face again. She was only confirming the little rumblings I'd heard and long suspected.

"He would steal kisses and—and insinuate what he wanted. All those emotions I told you about? I was already feeling them, but Ranger would basically tell me I had every right to feel insecure and scared toward about our relationship. The tension between him and me built up for a while—a long while. You and I weren't really together, so I gave in to even more than kisses and touches. I'm not proud of it, and I still hold the guilt I did at the time."

"I don't give a _shit_ about your guilt. You talked to _Ranger_ about our relationship instead of _me_?" I asked incredulously, completely blown away.

"It's not like I went up to him and asked for the fucking advice, Joe! He would make an offhand comment about how you weren't one hundred percent dedicated or that we didn't have a normal relationship—things like that."

"And you _listened_ to him?"

I slammed my open palm against the steering wheel.

"How involved was _he_ in _our_ relationship, and I didn't even know? Huh? There was a fucking third person giving you advice, and you don't see a damn thing wrong with it?"

The cords on my neck were throbbing. I probably looked like a smaller red Hulk. I surely felt like it.

Stephanie was openly sobbing with her hands over her face now.

"I'm sorry."

"You should be," I hissed. "I got played for a fucking fool."

Her head whipped up and the sobbing stopped, but not the tears.

"I _said_ I made mistakes. We _both_ did. You can't tell me you weren't afraid of commitment too," she seethed.

"I wonder why!" I yelled. "The way you've presented yourself shows just how dedicated _you_ were. You had Ranger waiting in the wings for when we failed."

I knew long before Hawaii Stephanie had unresolved feelings for Ranger. Instead of asking what those feelings were, I'd allowed her to follow into some type of relationship with him—too afraid of pushing her away and having her resent me. The shit of it all was I resented her now because of it.

I had hoped long ago she would've been able to work out those feeling without developing a relationship with him. I'd tried to be there for her at any time—even when we weren't a couple. She'd known she never had to ask for my assistance. I'd simply been there for her—just like I'd been there yesterday and that morning.

But no—it wasn't enough for her somehow.

_How much more did she need from a man?_

"Did we ever give us a real shot, Joe?"

She was staring at me, but I wasn't looking anywhere except for the road. I wasn't about to give her an answer either.

"Look at me," she demanded.

"I'm driving."

"Pull over."

"No."

"Pull. Over."

"No! What for?"

"Damn it, Joe. Pull the fucking car over— now."

I flipped my blinker, slammed the breaks and veered the car off the road, until we were in a safety zone not to be hit.

"What do you want?"

"Look at me," she asked, but I refused. I couldn't.

"Please look at me, Joe."

I turned my head, not even trying to hide my pain.

* * *

**Stephanie's POV **

"I'm sorry—sorrier than you'll ever know. Both of us made mistakes in our past. There is nothing—not a single thing we can do to change it. I love you. I'll always love you I just wish there was a way to prove to you—to show you I mean it when I say that Ranger and I are done for good. Forever."

My eyes pleaded with him to listen to the words. Unfortunately, there was no registration I'd gotten through. His body language showed nothing but anger, and as much as I would have liked to slap him upside the head to get him to look at me again, I let him stare at the odometer display.

I was too afraid of what I would see in his eyes if he looked at me. Or what I wouldn't see.

Love.

The silence of the truck was too much to bear. Joe hadn't responded one way or another he'd even heard me. I already knew I'd hurt him _before_ he got the full story from me. But now I'd sunk the knife that much deeper.

It felt like I was losing him all over again. It was as if that morning and yesterday had all been a dream. This conversation would be our last. I wasn't ready for that. I needed him to find something to say that would assure me this wasn't the end.

Anything.

"Why didn't you ever tell me I wasn't enough?" he asked, looking up toward the road again.

His voice was small like a little boy. I wanted to cradle him and tell him over and over it would be okay—that it would all work out.

It _had_ to.

"I never said that. _Never."_ And I hadn't.

_God, had I really treated him so bad he could actually think that?_

Without a doubt, the answer was yes, and the realization stabbed at my heart. I opened my mouth to say more, but Joe cut me off.

"You didn't have to—you're actions spoke loud enough."

I ignored him and could tell it made him that much angrier.

"What went on between Ranger and me was because insecurity. I was so wrapped up in making sure I never got burned again after what Dickie did to me that I turned around and did the same thing without thinking about the damage it would cause. When I think about it _now_, it was as if I was watching a person that looked and sounded like me, but _wasn't_ the real me. I never meant to hurt _anyone_ the way I have."

I bit down hard on my lip to prevent myself from screaming.

"What you did was beyond selfish."

I had never in my life heard Joe's voice so low. It sounded hurt and betrayed. And I was the one to have caused it.

"You think I don't know that already? I am _well_ aware, Joe, of just how selfish I was."

"What changed your mind?"

I wasn't stupid enough to think just because Joe was asking questions he wasn't still angry and hurt, but I was grateful he hadn't completely shut down on me.

"I started to feel cheap."

I'd been trying to hold any more tears at bay but saying the words aloud made me feel it all over again.

"Not long before—before you came to my apartment to end our relationship, I'd had this—this moment of realization. The kind where you know you've found the person you're supposed to spend the rest of your life with—"

I uselessly tried to rein in the sob that threatened to break. When it did, more tears fell, and I just let them. Joe continued to lean against his door. He finally looked over in my direction.

"Yes?" Joe asked, forcing me to continue.

I waved my hand in front of my face and blew out breaths to calm myself down.

"When—when you've found the person you're sup—supposed to spend the rest of your life with. When you're supposed to dedicate yourself to them and not take them for gr—granted."

I took another gulp of air. "There haven't been many times you've been out of my life, Joe. When I finally stopped being so freaking scared of bad shit happening between us, I realized you were it."

"I was what?"

He hadn't been listening, obviously.

I rolled my eyes. He'd ruined what could've been a great moment.

No—I had—by running to Ranger in the past.

"The love of my life," I murmured. "I've taken you for granted in so many ways. I know I hurt you, and if you never find it in your heart to forgive me, I'll understand. It'll take time, I get that, but I can't lose you completely in my life."

I held his stare, wanting to slap my jaw because it was quivering so much. I had no idea what my future would hold, but at least I could know I'd cleared the air once and for all with Joe. I was proud of myself for having followed through on my promise to tell him everything. I hadn't gone into explicit details, but he knew more now than he ever had before.

I'd finally put on those big girl panties, and I could wear them proudly—well, as much as I did anything proudly.

I knew the mistakes I had made with Joe I would _never_ make again—with or without him.

* * *

**Joe's POV**

Running my fingers through my hair, I knew I had a lot to think about—not that it surprised me. Talk about being fucking torn.

I wanted her to be sorry. I wanted her to suffer and to feel all the anguish and betrayal I'd suffered from her duplicity. I was half convinced she had. It seemed as though she'd grown up and examined what she'd done to me—to her—to us. The other half of me, however, was stubbornly convinced she'd flip back to the old Stephanie in the blink of an eye.

I simply couldn't erase what I'd seen in Hawaii from my brain. It made me too fucking angry.

She was right—from the beginning I don't think either of us had given our relationship a tried and true effort. She was afraid of being hurt again, and I was afraid of the power she was able to hold over me without having any idea she did.

Turning back to the wheel, I flipped the blinker, and as soon as I could, got back on the road to Trenton.

We weren't far away.

Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Stephanie chewing her fingernails. Every once in a while she'd sniff from her previous crying jags. I had to work to block out the sniffles. I'd never been affected by anyone's crying before Steph. From the very beginning, I'd been a sucker for any emotion she had.

But I wasn't ready to cave and let her think there could be more between us.

"Please say something," she finally begged.

"What do you want me to say?" There was still some venom in my voice from my earlier anger, but it had calmed considerably.

I was still processing everything she'd said. It felt weird to have everything out in the open.

"Anything,"

"I can't. You don't want to know what's going through my head."

Did she want to know I still felt the need to bring bodily injury to Ranger—or that I wanted so badly to walk away from her and never look back? Did she want to know I felt some of the respect I'd had for her long ago coming back? Did she really want to know how much respect I had lost for her?

"Yes I do," she stated firmly. "I know I hurt you, but I just spilled my guts, and I need to know what you're thinking. That's the only way we're going to get through this."

Continuing to drive, I tried to get my thoughts in order. I didn't want to blurt out a bunch of random questions again. Whether I liked it or not, Stephanie had finally come forward. I hadn't had to push her, and I felt as though she'd given me the truth.

After warring inside my head, I decided maybe I should give _her_ some truth.

"I've felt like I've been living in a goddamn competition for the last three years. I knew what the end prize _could_ be, but I had no idea what I was up against to get it. I couldn't win for anything."

My voice felt detached from my own body. I almost shocked myself with the idea I'd shared what I'd felt out loud.

"I'm so sorry," she said quietly. Her voice was shaking again. "I never meant to make you feel the way you did—about anything."

"Deep down I know that, but the fact remains you did. It's been hell trying to move on from those feelings. I don't know if I ever will."

She winced next to me, shutting her eyes to control her breathing.

She'd never showed true consideration for my feelings in the past. I don't know if it was all the crap she'd gone through as a bounty hunter, or if it did have something to do with her relationship with Ranger, but the longer I knew her, the more callous of an individual she'd become.

That hurt.

"You know he'd never come between us again, don't you?"

"I wish I did, Steph."

"I _promise_ he wouldn't."

I grunted, because I'd spoken the truth. I had no way of knowing the future, and if the past was any indicator—

"You can't know that."

"Yes, I do, actually. Ranger and I have come to terms. For once I think I was able to get through to him."

"He likes the thrill of the chase. He would be back at it."

"That may be, but he's moved on anyway. He has a date tonight."

She was grasping at straws to give me something to believe. I was still convinced however that Manoso would find a way to nudge himself between us once more.

My temper flared. "You're moving on because he did?"

Her temper was rising as well. "No! I was just saying he isn't interested in me anymore. _He's_ moved on. I told you I set boundaries with him a long time ago, and he's accepted them!"

We were pulling into the Burg, and it was a huge relief. I needed time to myself to process everything running through my brain. The sooner Stephanie was out of the car the sooner I could do just that.

"You're going to be working with him again—seeing him every day, just like before," I stated what I viewed as the biggest obstacle.

"So, I've worked with plenty of men and haven't had a relationship."

"How do you not see this as different?" I raised my voice but wasn't yelling—yet.

"What will it take for me to convince you?" she asked, looking around nervously.

I couldn't be sure if it was an automatic reaction to being in the Burg. We were only a half block from her parent's house. Or, was it because she was sensing our time together was coming to a close?

"I don't know," I answered honestly.

"I'm willing to do anything you want in order to prove to you Ranger and I are done for good—forever and ever done. _Anything_."

What I wanted to do was insist she not work with Ranger, but I knew that wouldn't solve any of our issues. Knowing her, a demand like that would make the job even more appealing.

Sometimes she was such a child!

"Just let me think, Cupcake," I responded without thought.

_Fuck!_

Even when I tried to fight how much I friggin' loved this woman, it came through with my words. That was exactly why I needed to hold my tongue!

Until my mind was made up, I couldn't show how I felt any more. I didn't want to lead her on, but mostly I didn't want to lead _myself _on.

I pulled to a stop I front of her parents' house.

When she didn't look like she was going to budge, I added, "Please."

"You'll let me know?" she uttered her final plea while hiking her bag over her shoulder and grabbing Rex from the backseat next to Bob.

"Yes." I said, not looking at her.

She shut the door in resignation. Turning, she moved to walk up the stairs. Before she'd taken a step, she whipped back to face me.

I rolled down the window.

"Thanks, Joe."

I raised my eyebrows in acknowledgement.

She looked like she wanted to say something more, but I didn't give her the chance. Instead I pulled from the curb and rolled up my window, not even bothering to look back.

When would the long nights end? Thankfully, I hadn't told anyone other than my team I would be in Trenton. At that moment, my only plan was to stop at the nearest convenience store, pick up a six-pack and let my brain fry in front of the television.


	15. Chapter 15

All characters belong to Janet Evanovich.

Well, here is another chapter :) I want to point out, just so there isn't any confusion, I am by no means a medical expert-nor do I have ANY medical experience. As in NONE. I apologize in advance if the subject matter upsets anyone as well. I promise I don't intend to be insensitive in the least. **  
**

Now that I've got that out of the way, I can give thanks to all the readers/reviewers/peepers out there :) Thank you all for following along as I slowly make my way through this journey.

Extra special thanks goes out to Julie and Carol. You both are incredibly amazing. I always feel like I'm repeating myself here, but I hope you both know how awesomely fantastic you are. You guys are so treasured in my world. I am so fortunate to have you both. Truly.

* * *

**Chapter 15**

**Stephanie's POV**

"Well, you're here early, dearie, I was just on my way out to play a little bingo."

"Hi Grandma. How are you fee—doing?"

"Just peachy—you wanna join me at bingo? I'm hoping to get lucky—and I'm not talking about B-I-N-G-O either." Her eyes had their usual mischievous glint as she shook her head and waggled her eyebrows. "There'll be new meat at the table if you know what I mean. Maybe we can find you some new ground to cover."

Jeez, she was in an awfully good mood. If I were about to go in for surgery the day after next, I'd be a freakin' wreck. I could only hope her attitude was true—not embellished. _Who was I kidding? It was all a fraud._

Denial was definitely an inherited trait.

"Uh—"

"Was that Joseph that dropped you off?" my mother inquired, trying her best to sound casual from behind Grandma.

I ignored her.

"I don't need any new ground Grandma, but thanks anyway."

"Was that Joseph, Stephanie?"

The blaring of a horn sounded from the street.

"That's Merle Greeber. You sure you don't want to join a bunch of sassy ladies? I bet we could show you a thing or two on how to rope in the men."

Grandma moved her dentures around inside of her mouth.

"Of course we all know you can rope them. It's _keepin_' 'em that seems to be an issue."

"Grandma!" I gasped.

"You can't get mad at me. I'm about to go in for surgery. You'd feel real bad if something happened." She waggled a finger at me. "Ta-ta ladies—don't wait up!"

"I will be! You better get home at a respectable hour!" my mother called to Grandma's fleeting figure.

She crossed herself before turning her attention back to me.

"That was Joseph wasn't it? Why aren't you driving your new car? Your father picked out a good car for you. What happened to it?"

"Hi, Daddy," I called to my father, who was in his usual spot on his recliner.

He looked over and nodded in my direction. Once a commercial came on _maybe_ he'd come say a real hello—then again—maybe not.

"What's that on your neck? Is that a hickey? Oh my! Aren't you a little old to have—"

She crossed herself again—probably praying for a daughter that didn't look like a tramp.

"I wasn't aware we were going to play twenty questions, Mother," I snapped.

We had come quite a ways with our relationship, but the way she was acting was too much to take. Not even five minutes home, and my eye was already starting to twitch!

"We aren't playing any games, Stephanie. You haven't called me in a few days and then Joseph drops you off. Now you have a hickey. What do you expect out of me? I thought you weren't seeing Joseph and that Alex. _Tell_ me you aren't seeing _him_ anymore. Are you cheating on Alex with Joseph? Does Joseph know?"

"Mom! Stop! Please!"

"I just want a few answers. Is it so hard to answer a few questions?"

"A few? That was like fifty in a two-second time frame. Can I have a minute to breathe?" I wondered crossly, thunking the heel of my hand against my forehead.

"Don't do that!" she reprimanded me.

"Someone has to have some sense knocked into them," I mumbled to myself.

I was already thoroughly exhausted from my morning with Joe and the car ride. I should've had him drop me off at the Tasty Pastry, so I could eat one of my favorite foods and contemplate life. It'd been a while since I'd had a good dessert. I stinking deserved one with how my day had gone already!

"Here, this should take away your headache. I'm not in the mood to start dinner yet."

My mother placed a plate of chocolate cake and coffee in front of me.

_Who needed Tasty Pastry when you have a mother that covered emotions with food?_

"You don't feel like making dinner?" I asked, looking at my watch. Surely there was soup or a roast to prep at two in the afternoon.

Oh well, that gave me more time to enjoy another piece of cake.

"I'm too tired. Your grandmother exhausts me."

"Grandma? Really? No more depression?"

My mother grabbed a fork and took a bite of my cake. I would've stabbed her hand to make her stay away, but then I'd never get cake again.

She sighed—and I wasn't the cause of it. _Wow. That felt good!_

"No, you heard her. She has a whole new philosophy to life. She pulls these stunts, and then tells me I can't be mad because she's old and will die soon. Or she says they're about to split open her insides, and I can't be upset with her."

I kept right on eating my cake. Nothing my mother was saying surprised me.

"They let her open the coffins. Louise Kulach said now that word is out about her condition; they're purposely closing caskets so she can open them. What is this world coming to?" she cried.

"Really?" I asked, feigning interest.

The chocolate cake was GOOD. I hadn't had homemade dessert in too long. It was the perfect medicine for my shattered heart.

It wasn't that I didn't care how Grandma was acting, but it didn't necessarily come as a shock to me either. She'd been quiet and depressed for a while. I figured she was making up for lost time and taking full advantage of her predicament.

"Why me? Why do I have a mother that runs around town causing havoc? Thank God you got out of that bounty hunting business. Now I don't have to keep track of both of you. Mother is more than enough to deal with."

"You never had to keep track of me," I said, finishing up the last of my cake. "The grapevine kept track of me and went directly to you."

She watched me shrewdly. "Joseph dropped you off. Do you have anything to tell me?"

"No. I thought we'd decided after I moved we weren't going to talk about relationships."

"He's a good man, Stephanie. Can you blame me for wanting you to have someone like him in your life?"

Jeez, I hated when I couldn't fight her on something.

"You didn't always think that. I can still hear your voice as clear as day saying 'stay away from those Morelli boys. They're nothing but trouble,'" I mimicked her tone perfectly.

That earned me a sour look.

"Yes, well, he's changed. But I _may_ have to change my opinion of him again," she stated. When I looked at her incredulously, she added, "Hickeys are tasteless. Surely Joseph knows this."

"It's not a hickey," I tried explaining, reaching up to touch the still-bruised spot on my neck.

"Stephanie Plum! Don't you dare lie—"

"I'm not! Do you want to know what's going on in my life or not?"

She nodded, and I smiled at the fight she was having with herself to not say more. Her lips twitched from the effort.

It suddenly dawned on me.

"You gave me cake to loosen me up, didn't you?"

She didn't even look embarrassed. Shoot—she even smiled!

My dad interrupted us right when I was about to tell my mom about my week.

_Had it only been a week since I'd last been there? It felt like a million years ago._

He passed by on his way to get a bag of M & M's to keep him company while watching an old western.

"Stephanie. You look well."

That was my father for you—always paying attention to detail. _Sheesh!_

"You were saying?" my mother persisted after my father cleared the room.

I huffed and rolled my eyes at my mother's leveling look.

I told her all that had happened in the week since I'd seen her last—about my confrontation with Alex at the barbeque, how he'd assaulted me in my home and how Bob had come to my rescue. I included what happened to my car, and how Joe had come to the rescue as well.

I lost count of how many times she crossed herself. I think she stopped because her arm started to get tired.

What I _failed_ to tell her was that Joe and I'd had dinner the night of the assault; how Joe had been at the barbeque, and how he'd stayed at my house the night before—in my bed.

_The night before._

She was already on high Joe alert. No sense in giving her false hope.

"That was nice of Joseph to help you," she finally commented.

"He's a cop. It's what he does."

"Maybe I should invite him over for dinner when your grandmother is better."

"No!"

"What? Stephanie, we have to thank him somehow. He doesn't have to sit next to you." I swear I heard her 'tsk' as she walked to the cupboard. "I know he isn't your boyfriend."

"Get him some fresh bagels or make him lasagna. I'm sure he'll be busy while he's here."

Her eyes brightened considerably, and she smiled.

"That's a great idea!"

I was actually praying he'd be too busy to answer the door when my mom took over whatever she chose to make. There was no way she would be capable of not talking about 'us' to Joe.

Who knew what he would tell her?

"He needs a homemade meal; I'm positive of it. All the times he helped you, Stephanie? I don't think I've ever properly thanked him."

Her tone was one I was very familiar with.

Disappointment.

Only this time it wasn't me she was disappointed in. She was disappointed in herself for not having gone out of her way to thank Joe. Within minutes, I knew she would be blaming herself for the breakdown in my relationship with Joe. Food showed love in Helen Plum's mind, and she had never gone out of her way to show him 'love'.

"You've cooked him a lot of meals over the years, Mom. I don't think he looks to be thanked."

"No, he's always been there for you simply because he loves you."

She'd been halfway in the pantry, taking things out to prepare dinner, but at her slip, she straightened and turned to look at me. In all my years, I'd never seen her move so fast.

She clasped a hand over her mouth and mumbled a muffled, "I'm so sorry."

"It's okay. It was the truth," I shrugged, looking into the coffee I was swirling around in my cup.

She straightened her apron and cleared her throat. "How long do you think you'll be here?"

Before I could answer, my cell phone rang, and I jumped to answer.

As always, I was hoping it was Joe. _Maybe he didn't like the way we'd left things too._

He _had_ to call. For God's sake, how was I supposed to get home? He wouldn't leave me stranded would he?

The call wasn't Joe.

_Detective Stewart._

"This is Stephanie," I answered.

"Yes, Ms. Plum—this is Detective Stewart with the Philadelphia Police Department."

He paused.

"Yes, detective?"

My mother had been fluttering around in the kitchen, but as soon as I said that she was by my side.

"Is that Joe?" she asked, trying to whisper, but it came out too frantic and loud.

I shook my head, glaring at her—much like she would do to me when I'd been a child and had interrupted her on the phone.

"We—we've found Mr. MacLaine."

"So the prints match?"

"Well—no, we haven't gotten the prints back yet, but we have him in custody for questioning. Your boyfriend—Detective Morelli—told me to notify you immediately."

"My—what?"

"Your boyfriend. Anyway, I'm getting ready to go into the interrogation room. I'll let you know what I find out when I'm through."

"Okay. Thanks." I paused, rolling around in my head if I really wanted to know the answer to my question.

Sure enough, curiosity won out.

"Can I ask you why you think he's my boyfriend?"

"_Because_," the detective drawled, "He called _you_ his _girlfriend_."

Oh. _Well, who was I to burst his bubble?_

"Okay, I appreciate the call."

I heard a mumbled '_the man will have my badge'_.

"Yeah, no problem—talk to you shortly," he said aloud before hanging up.

"What's going on? Who was that detective?"

I relayed what Detective Stewart told me and decided I was in a mood for a nap. Upstairs, I only bothered to take off my socks and shoes before wrapping myself in a blanket and conking out.

Turns out naps could be pretty long. I ended up sleeping through the night and the morning rush hour traffic for the bathroom.

After enough cajoling, I finally relented and joined my mother and grandmother for church.

There were several reasons why I showed my face in the brick building I'd stayed away from for far too long.

The first was the big day ahead of us tomorrow. I needed as much faith in me as I could get. The second was I'd done my fair share of begging and pleading to God late at night—especially of late. It was about time to put a little heart into my connection with Him. And lastly, I could score a donut before my lunch with Ranger.

"I can borrow Big Blue, right?" I asked while stuffing the last bite of my fourth donut in my mouth.

"Sure—are you going to have room for lunch?" my mother asked me before handing me the keys.

My mouth gaped open.

"Yeah!"

Her eyes got wide, and she stepped back.

"Okay—well, have fun. Who are you going to lunch with again?"

"A friend."

I gave her a slight kiss on the cheek, trying not to think about what had possessed me to do that.

"I'll be back." Shrugging on my windbreaker, I was out the door.

Big Blue. As an adult, it was the car I'd driven the most, but I'd never gotten used to driving the boat around town. I probably never would.

I finally found a parking space a few blocks away from the café Ranger had picked. His sleek, black Porsche was already in the parking lot.

_Why did he always get good parking spaces? _He was the exercise freak! He could park two miles away, and it wouldn't make him break a sweat. I had to park so far away, that if I was running late—which I was—I'd be _really_ late—and sweaty.

Good thing Ranger understood—mostly.

He was sitting in a booth with tall dividers. The place had an old time diner feel and had been barely renovated. The tables were dark brown wood, while the booths reupholstered in lighter tan leather.

As soon as we made eye contact, he shook his head.

Peering down at his watch, he stated, "You're late."

"I know."

I slung into the booth, all the way to the wall on the opposite side of him.

"I had to park, like fifty miles away."

As usual, Ranger was facing the doorway. I'd noticed when I sat down and got comfortable that the booth's back was tall. A few inches were between the top of my head and the top of the booth. Good thing, because if I got frustrated enough with Ranger and wanted to slam my head against something, at least my head would be cushioned.

I wasn't afraid to show emotions around the Man of Mystery anymore. No more glorifying him in anyway. If he got on my nerves, I wasn't going to hold back—ever again.

"It can't be that bad, Babe. You'd be outside Trenton city limits if you parked fifty miles away."

I rolled my eyes.

He knew I was known to exaggerate. Why did he have to be so realistic?

"You have two choices. Would you rather eat first or start going over what I have in this folder?"

He patted a thick manila file folder, and my eyes goggled. The folder had to be at least an inch and a half thick. _What could possibly be in there?_

"You're giving me a choice? What the hell do you have in that folder?"

He quirked his lips up.

"Your choice. Eat or paperwork."

I saw the sparkle in his eyes from teasing me. He damn well knew what I was going to choose.

"Eat! Jeez, Ranger—I haven't changed _that_ much."

He smiled and nodded to the waitress.

She, of course, came bustling over mere seconds later.

Luckily, I'd scanned the menu and wasn't in an indecisive mood.

My chili cheese burger, fries and large coke were amazing. Ranger seemed to enjoy his bland chicken sandwich on a whole wheat bun. I hadn't held back my distain for Ranger's tasteless lunch choice. In turn, he'd corrected me, stating that just because it wasn't slathered in mayo or fried didn't mean it was plain. Tomato and lettuce were apparently plenty tasteful.

Yuck.

We fell into comfortable silence up until my curiosity about the folder got the better of me.

Ranger refused to budge. I'd elected to eat first, and he didn't want to mix business. He knew I wouldn't be able to focus unless I was properly fed.

"You haven't changed _that_ much," he mocked me.

Ranger and the waitress didn't even bother asking about dessert, and probably if I hadn't had the four donuts before I'd stepped outside of my mother's door, I would have been upset. As it was, I'd decided I wouldn't go back to that café willingly.

_Who would visit a food establishment that didn't triple check if you wanted dessert or not?_

Certainly not this girl!

"You ready?" Ranger asked me, as he slid the manila folder in front of him.

I looked at the file and gulped loudly. I don't know why looking at that thing made me so nervous.

He continued to look at me expectantly. When I finally met his gaze, I nodded.

"I let you get away with a lot of shit back in the day when you worked with me. After we go over everything Tank and I expect out of you, I want you to take a few days to really think it over. I'm _not_ going to let you slack off under Rangeman's watch anymore. You know what I expect out of all my men. The same will go for you."

I wanted to defend myself—even if I didn't have a solid defense—but he cut me off.

"It's nothing personal, Babe. It's to protect you and Rangeman alike."

I'm sure my lip curled, seeing as I was thinking about all the requirements that Rangeman had for its general population—rules I hadn't been held to in the past.

"Are you ready to get down to business?" he questioned.

"As I'll ever be. I _need_ to know what's in there," I replied eagerly, rubbing my hands together.

"I didn't think you'd be this excited, but I'm glad you're so—so enthusiastic?"

Ranger couldn't figure out how I was feeling._ I_ wasn't even sure how I was feeling. Definitely sick because of how much I'd eaten. I _was _looking forward to a new job though. I wanted something new, and that thick, scary folder held what I was pretty sure I wanted. Whatever was in there would get me away from Alex as soon as my contract was up—or Macy's took away my job. But I wasn't thinking about _that_ today. Or Joe.

_Yeah right! _

But I _was_ trying my best. I needed to focus on my meeting with Ranger, and the more I thought of Joe—the more I thought I shouldn't even be there. He didn't want me to take the job.

Ranger started pulling papers out of the folder, and I took a deep breath.

"New Jersey doesn't have that many laws for Private Investigators. There are three main guidelines. You don't exactly meet the guidelines, but I was able to pull a few strings for you."

"Okay, what are they?"

"You have to be over twenty-five, and you have to possess good character, competency and integrity. You have those two qualifications down pat."

"Did you just make a crack about my age?" I asked sourly, narrowing my eyes.

His lips tipped up.

"Babe."

"Fine, go on."

"You need five years of either investigative experience or five years of law enforcement time."

He paused, and I know my face fell a little. I would have to wait another two years to take on the position.

"You're lucky so many people like you—and that you're family to a congressman, even though there is a distance. I was able to get special approval for you from Joe Juniak."

"Really? Joe and I haven't talked in a long time."

"Yeah, well, donation funds go a long way when you need them to."

"Ah."

Definitely something to ponder. _Exactly how many people did Ranger have in his pocket?_

"Yeah, those are New Jersey's rules. Are you ready for mine?"

I grimaced but nodded my head.

And the thick part of the packet came out.

"You need to take these courses. You probably should've taken them a long time ago, but it's never too late."

"Why didn't Higgins ever make certain Eliza took these in the first place?"

Ranger's stoic face came down. "I didn't think you'd stick around long enough to take the classes at first, and you know if I'd suggested anything outside of your comfort zone, you'd have tried to beat me down."

"What? No, I wouldn't have!"

He pushed the packet toward me. One day we would finish that conversation. Until then, Ranger was ready to move on.

I slowly flipped through the packet.

"Page sixty five," he instructed and waited for me to flip to the page.

"I'm thirty three, and you want me to go back to college?" I asked in shock.

He raised his eyebrow at me. "Yes, and I fully expect you to pass the highlighted classes above the ninety eighth percentile."

It was a course packet from Mercer County Community College. I was staring at the Criminal Justice –Law Enforcement option.

"I don't expect you to get the full degree, but the main courses will assist you with your position. It's valuable information, and Rangeman will be paying for it all—should you choose to take the job."

I scanned the page, and it looked as if he'd marked twenty-nine out of the sixty-three required credits for the degree.

"You don't want me to take History of Western Civilization, but you want me to attend Concepts of Health and Fitness?" I asked incredulously.

"Yes, I do. Which brings me to the next part." He slid a slightly thinner packet in my direction. "Rangeman contract."

Removing the staple, he started thumbing through the pages.

"If you want, I can have my lawyer—or yours—go through this with you. First we have the initial probation period."

He took the first ten pages and separated them.

"I know you're locked down in Philly for a while longer. The program—" he paused, tapping the college packet—"is a two year program; however, they have a very little known fast track program they're willing to offer. Since you won't be going after the degree, you can complete all the classes in less time."

This was a lot to think about. Ranger was right; I was going to be in Philadelphia for too many months for my brain to process. My job was still up in the air, although I couldn't imagine they'd fire me. Regardless, I was still under contract to keep renting out my house, unless I chose to break the lease. But _that_ was big money and BIG hassle.

Ugh! _What if I stayed, and Alex came after me again?_

"You still with me Babe?" Ranger asked after I'd been in my mental overload zone for too long. By the look on his face, he was definitely irritated I wasn't giving him my full attention.

Dealing with Wall Street Ranger was much harder than I'd remembered. I was used to Stark Street Ranger.

No jokes, no flirting—not that I wanted those things—but it was what I was used to. This was serious business.

"Since Tank and I both know you wouldn't be taking these classes if it wasn't for this position, here is the outline for your payment. We'll pay for the courses separately."

Looking down, I choked.

_Seriously? I knew Rangeman brought in good money. But holy smokes!_

"We expect your department to bring in a lot of money. People pay good money to find information and people. You know we have a research division, and we will be combining private investigations and research together. There is no sense in having a researcher in both departments when Tank and I know your department won't always be busy. On top of that, I need my men on the streets instead of looking up backgrounds for hours on end. We'll hire for that position when we're ready to secure all licensing."

"Okay."

I realized I hadn't exactly acknowledged much of what Ranger had said so far. I'd been too busy absorbing.

Starting the Macy's position had been nerve-wracking. This was far more to my liking, and yet I was working myself into a mini nerve ball. _I felt so much pressure!_

"This is an investment in you and Rangeman. I think I've given you an adequate amount of time to think about coming to Rangeman, but it's obvious I'm going to have to give you more. Do you want to finish going over the rest of what I have?"

"Uh, yeah, let's get this over with."

Ranger went to speak, but I glared in his direction, blurting, "What do you mean investment in me?"

"Tank's plan is for the long term. I can't afford to have you go into this halfcocked and disorganized. These classes will teach you about expectation, setting goals and achieving them. I simply can't—"

"Afford for me to be how I was as a bounty hunter?" I finished for him.

He nodded and moved on.

"This page is basic Rangeman policy—dress code, attendance, etcetera. Let's go over everything one at a time."

Ranger was slowly easing into a more relaxed attitude. He'd obviously discovered it worked better for me than his 'corporate—ness'.

I scanned the paper while Ranger talked.

"As you know, dress code for Rangeman is black. You have an exception to this. When you meet with clients, there will be a need for you to look—"

"Less intimidating. Less like the Merry Men?"

"You could say that."

"You aren't going to make me wear panty hose are you?" I whined.

Don't ask me why, but that was one of my biggest fears. It was also one of the bigger reasons why I'd remained a bounty hunter for so long.

"Does it say 'panty hose mandatory' in there anywhere?"

I was busy reading the documents now, line by line, frantically making sure that there was not a panty hose clause when someone came to the table.

"Manoso."

"Skinner."

"Did Morelli tell you that lead you handed us a few weeks ago was good?"

Of course my head whipped up at the mention of Joe.

_Dear God, please don't let him be nearby._

After our talk yesterday and the horrific reaction he had to me working with Ranger, the last thing I wanted was to have Joe see me there with him.

Oh Jeez, if I'd ever had luck, it'd apparently been used up.

"Manoso," I heard, as feet scuffed the ground on their way over to us.

"Morelli."

"I was just talking to Manoso about the lead," Skinner commented.

"Yeah, it was good," Joe agreed.

I watched Joe. He had his attention on something behind him and hadn't looked toward our booth since he'd greeted Ranger. From the direction in which he'd come over, I doubted he'd seen me yet.

"To go," Joe told whoever was distracting him.

"That's what Skinner said."

"Yeah, you hear anything else?"

He finally turned his attention toward our booth. He spoke to Ranger, but he wasn't looking at him. He was staring at me with widened, shuddering eyes. His lips were a tight line, and the muscle in his jaw was working overtime to keep the grimace I'd seen from reappearing.

I'd caused so much jaw muscle clenching in Joe over the last three years; it was amazing he didn't have a jaw like Jay Leno.

"Stephanie," he said tightly, and my stomach clenched. There'd been absolutely no love in his expression or word.

"J—Joe. How are—"

He turned his attention away from me to face Ranger. "You going to stop by the station and give the report?"

I sighed, wanting to ask Joe where he'd hidden the guy from yesterday morning.

"You know I'm not giving my informant's information out," Ranger stated firmly.

"They won't get—"

"They didn't give me information because of reward money, Morelli."

Ranger's face took on a stony appearance, and it wasn't just because he was talking to Joe and I was there.

He was giving him the face that probably got the information from the informant in the first place.

A waitress took that moment to come to our table.

"Here you are, dear," she said, passing bags of food to Joe and his buddy.

Joe smiled his appreciation. "Thanks."

He could melt my heart with one of those smiles.

Turning back to Ranger, he continued, "Right—if you hear anything else, be sure to call me."

With a nod to Ranger and me, he turned to leave.

I watched him get halfway to the exit before jumping out of my seat.

"Joe! Wait!" I said way too loudly.

I didn't even spare a glance in Ranger's direction.

"Can I talk to you for a second?" I asked after having caught up with him.

He was almost to the door. His cop face was on and killing me, because I couldn't read what he was thinking. Lifting up the food, he motioned with his head toward the other officer I didn't know.

He shook his head. "We've got our hands full and men expecting food."

"Please?" I pleaded, "I—I'm—uh—"

_Shit!_ For the life of me, I couldn't come up with anything to say. I wanted to say sorry—again, but he seemed to be in an even more agitated state than he'd been in the day before.

"Steph—"

"Uh—Detective Stewart called me yesterday. He said he had Alex in custody, and he was going in to interrogate him. He said he'd call me afterward, but he never did."

"He didn't?"

Oh boy, if I'd thought Ranger's face had been stony, he didn't have anything on Joe.

Which reminded me of the fact that Joe had called me his girlfriend when he'd talked to Detective Stewart Friday night.

I fought against the smile that threatened. Now wasn't the time to give him hell. I needed to tread lightly, until we—until we could be—

Friends.

And there went my hidden smile.

I sighed. "No, he never called me back."

"I've got to go. I'll call him later. _If_ he has anything to say, I'll ca—text you."

"Okay. Bye."

Once again he nodded before heading out the door.

Making my way back to my seat, I made a huffy sound.

"Things between you and Morelli seem—strained."

There was definitely amusement in Ranger's eyes.

"Thank you, Captain Obvious. Let's finish this up, shall we?"

He raised his eyebrows at me.

If Ranger had something to say about my lack of relationship with Joe, I didn't want to hear it. I'd made that mistake in the past, and I'd learned not to repeat it.

For the next hour, we went through even more paperwork before finally getting to attendance.

"You and I both know investigations aren't a nine to five thing."

"But it says here my hours are nine to five. You know that's going to be impossible," I stated, still looking through the paperwork.

"You're right, but I'm making it mandatory you take at least one day off a week. I can't afford for you to get burned out. I _do_ have it in there that you report to work at nine Monday through Friday and leave at five."

My eyes lifted to meet his.

"If you feel you or anyone in your department will need to work over those hours, it needs to be approved by either Tank or myself. I'm also making it mandatory you take a two-week paid vacation time each year. I make sure it happens for my men, and you wouldn't be any different."

"You know I don't take vacations, Ranger."

"Really Babe? Because I seem to remember—"

He gave me a full smile, and I frowned.

"_Don't!_ I don't want to talk about that, Ranger," I warned.

"Okay," he said flatly, all trace of amusement gone. "Any other questions you have?"

The overall package in front of me was beyond any imagination. I didn't want him to think I was taking advantage. When I'd worked for Ranger part time before, I'd known he paid well with great benefits, but I was still in a state of shock.

"The whole 'what goes for the Merry Men goes for me' thing. That goes for the fitness stuff to—doesn't it?"

"Don't fight me on it. It's for your own good."

"Fine. Do you have any questions for me?"

He sat there for a moment.

"You going to fix things with Morelli again?"

"Excuse me?" I raised my voice just short of a yell. "That is none of your business. This—" I pointed to the manila folder now in my possession, "—is your business. Nothing else that has to do with me."

He put his hands up in surrender.

"I wasn't insinuating what you were thinking, okay?"

I nodded, not believing him for a second.

"I just know he's been trying to get inside information from a few department stores—yours being one of them. It's going to be hard to work together with that kind of tension. Not to mention that you'll need friendly people with TPD when—if—you take this position."

"I know. Let me worry about that. Are you second guessing my decision to take this job?"

"Are you second guessing yourself?"

"No."

_Yes—if Joe told me not to!_

"Yes you are. You keep saying if. _If_ I chose—_if_ I do—_if_!"

"I said I would, and I am."

_IF _it was okay with Joe.

"_If_ you're sure, then get the paperwork for Mercer County filled out and sent in. All those classes are online, so you won't have to commute. Semester starts in two weeks. Tank has your books. Give him a call while you're in town."

"Okay. Thank you, Ranger."

"Don't thank me yet."

"You're right—I'll probably want to kick your ass when you have me exercising."

He smiled a genuine smile. "I look forward to it. Until then, take a few days to think this over. Call me before you leave town."

Since the bill was already paid, we both got up to leave. As we hit the door, Tank pulled up in a black Rangeman vehicle and rolled the window down.

He nodded. "Stephanie."

"Tank."

He looked from me to Ranger and nodded his head.

"Think it over, Babe. Call me."

"Sure will." I promised as Ranger walked over to Tank.

Dinner was chaos. That was always the word of choice when you have my sister and her family plus Grandma, Mom and Dad in one small row house.

We ate earlier than the usual six o'clock, because Grandma couldn't eat for twelve hours before surgery. Mom wouldn't let her go without eating, so we had dinner at three thirty.

Between my lunch, donuts and dinner, I was happier than a stuffed pig. It was the first time since I'd moved away I had to unbutton my jeans.

_Ahhh._

We all sat around the table afterward—including my father—and played a couple rounds of 'Hungry, Hungry Hippo', because it was Mary Alice's favorite.

Since it was a four-player game, we all took turns playing the winner.

"Remember when you and Valerie used to play this game?" Grandma reminisced, hunched over and slapping at the plastic doohickey that made the hippos chomp.

"Yeah! When Stephanie would lose she would beg Mom for another sibling!" Valerie exclaimed.

"I remember that," I acknowledged, crossing my arms over my chest.

I had hated losing, but that's what happened when you played against Saint Valerie.

"There was the time Tony Morelli brought Joe around the neighborhood to sell those raffle tickets for—what was he selling them for?" Grandma asked.

"Boy Scouts. God, Tony Morelli sure was a looker back in the day," Val observed, and I saw my mother cross herself.

"Joe didn't last long with that group, did he?" Grandma chuckled, and my dad may have made a growling sound.

"You were whining as you opened the door. Your mom yelled at you not to open it to strangers."

Grandma pointed at me. She was laughing harder and harder.

"Tony asked what was wrong, and you whispered so low he couldn't hear you."

She was gasping, trying desperately to catch a breath in order for us to understand what she was saying.

"He bent down to hear you better, and I'll never forget what happened next!"

She was nearly crying now through her amusement.

"You said you couldn't win, and when he told you it was because you were a girl, you punched him right in the eye. Gave him the best black eye I'd ever seen until you got into bounty huntin'."

"Joe told her she should join the boxing club at the high school, because she'd just knocked out their best fighter," Valerie chimed in.

"Yeah, he looked all glassy eyed when he said he couldn't ever bring down his brother when they wrestled," I added fondly.

I felt like crying too—but not because the story was so funny. Even though I had pointed it out to him yesterday, I hadn't realized just how long Joe really had been in my life.

Those glassy eyes had been nowhere to be seen today or yesterday afternoon. I'd seen them that morning though, and I already missed them.

"I got to go get ready!" Grandma announced, jumping up from her chair. "Closed casket viewing tonight. Betty's coming to pick me up."

She looked my way and tapped her finger to her chin, and I knew I was in trouble.

"That's only if you don't want to go with me," she added, smiling craftily.

My mother wouldn't even let me answer. She wrenched her attention from the competitive game she was playing to say, "Yes, yes, Stephanie you should go. It would be a nice bonding moment. Afterward you can have another slice of cake."

Her eyes were wide, telling me not to argue.

"Fine, let me go change."

I stomped upstairs and changed quickly into one of Val's old outfits. The combination was a pink flowery long dress skirt and a beige knitted top. For kicks, I kept my sneakers on underneath. The dress was too long for anyone to be able to see under it, and Lord knew no one was going to be lifting it anytime soon.

I hustled Grandma out the door and pretty much stayed at the refreshment table when we got to the funeral parlor. Sure enough, like Mom had said, it was indeed a closed casket. When Grandma went to open it, no one fussed at her. She was intelligent enough to realize the casket was purposefully closed. Still, she enjoyed it.

"Come on. I need to get my beauty rest before tomorrow. The sooner I get it over with the sooner I get my face lift."

"Wait—what? You're what? You're going to—what?"

"Get a face lift. I've been saving my social security checks and, depending on the payment plan, I might get a butt lift too."

Her eyes were so bright I didn't want to tell her that nothing would save her sagging skin. The thought of Grandma with perky breasts and ass made my skin crawl.

"So, you're ready for surgery?"

She opened her mouth, but I spoke before she could make a quip, "Be serious. You can be honest."

She shrugged her shoulder. "Am I scared? Yes. But you know what? It doesn't matter if I'm scared. Whatever is going to happen will happen. Plus, I would finally get to see your Grandpa Harry if things go bad, and that ain't all bad now, is it?"

"Not when you look at it that way, I guess."

"Since I'm not worried, _you_ shouldn't worry. On the other hand, your mother is going to do enough worrying for a small village in Africa."

That was the truth, however, what she'd said wouldn't stop me from worrying. Since she was trying to be strong, I would too.

When we got back to the house, my mother was in the kitchen. Yet again, I had a bad feeling.

"What are you doing?" I asked suspiciously.

"Making food. What does it look like?"

"It looks like enough to feed five different countries."

"Stephanie, one day you will learn you can _never_ have too much food prepared."

I already knew that, but I'd never seen the kitchen so full of half made and covered dishes. I was grateful not to be ten again and in charge of the after-dinner dishes.

Moving to the refrigerator, I tried to move casserole dishes in search of my cake, but there was literally _no room_!

"If you're looking for your cake, it's over here."

I removed my arms and headed from the fridge, meandering over to where she stood.

As I went for the plate, she swatted me none too nicely with a spatula.

"What was that for?" I felt like I _was_ ten and had just gone for the cookie jar. "You said I—"

She never took her eyes off the lasagna she was making. "You have to finish earning that cake first. That is an extra big piece. I told Lisa she couldn't have any more just so I could save that piece for you."

"I did earn it! I took Grandma to the viewing."

She looked up and rolled her eyes at me.

_Would I ever get used to such a thing?_

"You and I both know that wasn't hard. They let her get away with opening the coffin, didn't they? God rest whoever's soul that was."

She went back to layering.

"One more task. All you have to do is promise to do it and you can have your cake."

"Okay," I agreed, going for the silverware drawer.

"You need to drop off this and the pudding tomorrow morning."

"Where?"

I was focused on the lemon pound cake that lay before me. If I could just get my hands—

"Joseph's."

My eyes snapped up to hers.

"No."

"Yes, young lady. You will drop this off, because I will be too busy with your grandmother."

"No."

"Yes, you _will_. Do you want that cake? Do you want _any_ cake e_ver_ again?"

_Oh my God! It was one of my worst nightmares come true!_

"You know I do, but I can't. You see Joe and I—uh—we're—uh—well—we're not talking."

She slammed the spatula on the counter. "Stephanie Michelle Plum! I did _not_ raise a fibber!"

Her stress level had just gone through the roof. She'd told me earlier she hadn't been ironing as much, because it was wearing down the fabric on new clothes. Cooking was her new stress reliever, and I'd just caused stress during her decompressing session.

Oh Jeez.

"You will do this for me _and _for your grandma. For _you_!"

She glared at me. "I know you're talking. He dropped you off, didn't he? You will do this for me. _Do you understand_?"

She was coming up short of waving her hands above her head. Her eyes were wild, and there was enough head shaking that her bountiful hair loosened from her tight bun.

This was the scariest I could ever recall seeing my mother.

"Ye—yes, I understand, ma'am—I mean Mom. I'll do it for you."

"Thank you."

She straightened her apron and tried uselessly to put her hair back up.

"All the items for Joseph will be marked. You can do it on your way to the hospital."

"Okay." I nodded my head. In fear I'd upset the balance again, I hadn't moved an inch.

"Go eat your cake. Bring me your plate when you're through."

I did exactly as she said.

While I ate my cake, I thought about tomorrow and Joe.

Maybe he wouldn't be home.

There'd been no warmth from him toward me today. Maybe it was because of Ranger, but still—there'd always been that underlying _feeling, _and I simply hadn't seen it today.

The morning did not go well at all.

I'd had way too much water before going to bed, and I awakened right when my dad headed into the bathroom with his newspaper.

_Ugh! How could he sit in there for so long?_

I did my potty dance, praying I didn't get a bladder infection from holding it too long.

When I finally relieved myself, I got into the shower only to find I hadn't let the water heater heat up enough again to sustain a ten minute warm—not hot—shower.

As I dressed, I couldn't snap my jeans comfortably, so I threw on a loose V-neck t-shirt that was a tad too loose. The way it hung made me look pregnant.

Big Blue tried to get things moving in the right direction, because it, of course, started on the first try.

I loaded the car down with four different plates for Joe. There was lasagna, a chicken casserole, some dumpling looking thing, and I didn't have a clue what the fourth one was. They all had separate, way too thorough defrost and cooking instructions. But my mother hadn't stopped there. She made a huge—I mean huge—like eight quart—bowl of chocolate pudding for him.

_Why hadn't she ever done anything like that for me when I was on my own?_ I got brown bag left overs—not full one-dish meals.

I unloaded the car in two trips and set the heaviest Pyrex dishes on the porch before knocking.

No answer.

Waiting—kind of—patiently, I knocked again.

No answer.

I rang the doorbell.

STILL NO ANSWER.

After about five minutes, I took a trip around the back of the house. Sure enough, his SUV was back there.

_Why the hell hadn't he answered and where was Bob to bark?_

Oh my God. What if he was with _someone_!

The rational Stephanie said there wasn't another car at his house. The irrational Stephanie screamed at myself for being an idiot. He could've just as easily driven the person over.

I wanted to die right there. Then irrational Stephanie kicked into gear. I needed to make sure Joe _wasn't_ having a good time.

Setting down all the dishes, I rang the doorbell over and over as fast with one hand, while using the other to bang on the door—never stopping until it was thrown open.

"What!"

Joe looked at me with fury burning in his eyes. He then looked past me.

"What the fuck is going on? What's wrong? Why were you just ringing the doorbell like someone was coming to kill you?"

I'm sure his face was red, and the cords on his neck were sticking out. His eyes were probably dark with anger too.

I couldn't tell you for sure, because I wasn't looking at his _face_.

Nope.

I was staring at the most edible and perfect chest—abs—arms known to man—or woman—in the world.

And all those items were wet—drops of water dripping slowly off his muscularly tanned body. It was bare to my eyes, because Joe's package of perfection was wrapped nicely in a long green towel.

I'd wished to be dead only a few minutes ago. My wish must have been granted, because—oh my God—I was in freaking Heaven.

If I kept on staring, my eyes would surely fall out of their socket, and what a shame that would've been. My knees didn't feel like they'd hold me up much longer either.

I may have emitted a low 'mmmmm' noise, but I could hardly be blamed. Anyone would've if they'd seen him standing in front of them.

Joe was still searching the street behind me frantically. "Jesus Christ, Stephanie! Are you going to tell me what the fuck is going on?"

A pout I couldn't fight came upon my mouth when I was forced by his tone to look at his face—not that i_t_ was much of a loss there either. His jaw line was so—so—mmm. His curly hair was damp and in a disarray like when he got out of bed in the morning—or ran a towel over it after a shower.

"No—nothing. I just have this food for you."

"You're shitting me? You banged on my door so hard it felt like the house was going to fall down and damn near broke my doorbell because of _food_?"

_Hunh_, I was doing him a favor and he was giving me attitude?

I don't think so.

Channeling my inner Lula, my arms going up and down between him and the food, I retorted, "Food is important, Joe! My mom slaved away in the kitchen to make this for _you_. I wanted to make sure you got it, so it didn't sit out here and rot."

"I nearly had a fucking heart attack, and you're pissy over food? Why doesn't this surprise me!"

He bent over to take the containers in, and I hoped the towel might come apart.

_Please, please, please._ Silent praying did not work. I should've focused more in church the day before.

"Why did your mom make all this for me?" he asked, stepping backward into the hallway.

I didn't answer. I couldn't, because—_hello_—he wasn't lacking in the rear either. I stared at his beautifully muscular back and—let's not forget—the best ass in Trenton.

_Damn!_

"Uh, can I come in?" I asked with attitude, as Joe made his way from the foyer to the kitchen. I no longer had the perfect view.

"Sure. Why not," he responded lamely.

"Thanks—my bag's heavy," I said as I pulled it off my shoulder.

My purse overturned, and the manila Rangeman folder came out first, scattering paperwork across the kitchen counter and floor.

"Grrrr," I growled.

"That's a lot of paperwork," Joe observed dryly.

He wasn't helping me pick up the papers; he was putting away the food.

"Now everything is out of order!" I snapped to myself.

I looked up at Joe who was watching me. The tension that'd been in his eyes when I first arrived was gone. They were definitely softer around the edges.

"Is that what I think it is?" he asked, bending over to pick up the community college paperwork.

"If you're thinking it's the criminal justice program at Mercer, then yes, it is what you're thinking."

He eyed me closely.

"Are you signing up for classes?"

My eyebrow quirked. "Maybe."

Joe's posture relaxed. Leaning his elbows back on the counter, he crossed his legs at his ankles. But I knew better. The tension in his demeanor remained.

"For the job with Ranger or because you want to learn more about the field?"

Being defiant toward Joe was deep-seated within me, and as much as I wanted to give him the finger and leave knowing he was probably about to give me grief over my potential job with Ranger, it was pointless. I already knew I'd do the exact opposite if he so much as asked.

"For the job with _Rangeman_ you mean—not _Ranger._"

"He was the one at lunch with you yesterday. The job is with him."

"Because he's the owner. Tank will be my supervisor."

"So you're taking the job, huh?"

He was trying so damned hard to be nonchalant about his probing questions. But years of detective work and schooled actions never held up when it came to me.

"I'm not sure. I have to call Ranger before I head back to Philadelphia to give him an answer." I looked at him shrewdly. "Why?"

He shrugged his shoulder and his lip curled as if he'd smelled something rotten.

"What if I asked you not to?"

_Hadn't that been what I was just thinking?_ If he asked me not to take the job, would I really not do it?

I'd already resolved to do _anything_ Joe asked but—

Instead I tucked the manila folder back into my bag and asked quietly, "Do we have a future?"

He dragged his hands through his hair.

_Why was such a simple act such a turn on? Why couldn't things be like they used to be?_

Oh yeah, because I was an _idiot_.

"I don't know, Steph. I still need time to think."

I wanted to scream. We'd been apart for so long, and I'd confessed as much as I could. I'd opened my freaking heart to him, and he _still_ wasn't sure?

The little nagging voice in my head proceeded to tell me it had taken me almost three years to decide.

"Fine. But you said you'd let me know. You better," I demanded, hitching my purse back onto my shoulder and straightening up.

I was in the foyer with my hand on the doorknob when his voice stopped me.

"You know, if I decide that we won't work, it won't be because I don't love you, right?"

I turned to face him. He was standing in the doorway to the kitchen.

The look in his eyes devastated me. They were dull and hurt again. Merely looking at them made my legs want to give out and immediately tears sprung in my eyes.

"I—uh—" I couldn't get my jaw to stop quivering long enough to get comprehensive words out.

_No! _

It was my worst nightmare realized. Joe had made his decision.

_Was this his way of telling me?_

"I need to get dressed. You can let yourself out." He gave me one last look before making his way up the stairs.

On the drive to the hospital, I felt like everything was going in slow motion. My mind was completely numb. Grandma was scheduled to have just going under anesthesia when I'd arrived at Joe's house, so by then the surgery should be underway.

My mother was in the waiting room on the second floor. We'd been told the surgery would take about five hours. During that time, my mom worked her way through a crossword puzzle book. I focused my time on the packet Ranger had given to me and anything else I could think of beside Joe.

We were definitely back at square one with our relationship, but this time without any hope at all.

I took a lunch break and went down to the cafeteria, but nothing sounded appetizing. Mom went down right after my return. We made polite conversation with each other, but there nothing of significance was said.

At one point, Dad stopped by to check on Mom, and I and I could tell by the lines of his eyes he was concerned over both her and Grandma. He let us know that Valerie would be dropping by after she dropped the kids off with Albert's parents.

When the clock hit the six and a half hour mark, Val had already been with us for two hours. That's when we all started to get panicky.

_Finally_ the doctor came into the room, looking like he had just changed into fresh scrubs. There wasn't an ounce of blood anywhere on him, and his hair looked freshly combed.

I wanted to hurt him. We'd been sitting there for _hours _without a single word and he'd gone to freshen up?

"Everything went as expected. We just had to go a little slower, because the heart monitor kept jumping at our normal pace. She's in recovery now, and as soon as they have her settled, we'll allow family in. But only one person at a time until visiting hours is over."

"Okay,"

"I have to warn you," the annoying physician continued. "She's going to look fragile and pale. You're fine to touch her hands and face, but be careful of the wires."

We decided Mom would visit Grandma first, followed by Val and then me.

Barring complications, Grandma would be released the following afternoon.

After Valerie and my mom, I took my fifteen minutes to see Grandma.

Even though I'd been fairly warned, it still came as a shock to see her already pale skin even lighter. Her saggy skin was limp, and the wires—God, there were so many.

I'd thought by the time I visited she would be awake and somewhat alert, but that wasn't the case. She still looked like she was in her deep sleep mode; only she wasn't doing her obnoxious snoring. The whole thing made me sad.

Afterward, I went to the nurse's station to ask a few questions. While standing there, I heard a commotion coming from down the hall.

"She's flat lining!"

"Get the defibrillator!"

The nurse that'd been sitting at the desk flew from her seat and down the hallway. I followed her with my eyes as she went down the same hallway as Grandma's room.

"Oh Jesus," I breathed, running after the nurse.

They were all huddled in Grandma's room. It was chaos. Everyone was scurrying around. One nurse was talking into the phone frantically, asking for a night doctor.

My hand covered my mouth and silent tears flowed down my cheeks, as I slowly stepped inside the room.

* * *

**Joe's POV**

"Did you hear about her Grandma?" my mother asked in my ear.

I'd made the mistake of picking up my desk phone while getting ready to head out.

"Yeah, she went in for surgery."

"Yes, yes, she did, but she barely made it out. What if something happened to Bella? You know she's around the same age. They said her heart stopped because her body couldn't handle the trauma." She paused, her voice sounding horrified. "Joseph, they said there might be brain damage from lack of oxygen."

"Christ, where'd you hear that?"

"Your cousin Courtney. She works at hospital dispatch. She's married to the doctor that operated. I guess they revived Edna just in time."

"So, she's fine?"

I just wanted to get this conversation over with and go home to enjoy my beer and Helen's left overs for the second night in a row. Tuesday had been a long day—too long, filled with meetings and phone calls.

"Well, she's awake, but I'm sure there is something wrong."

"You won't feel better until I find out, will you?"

"Courtney is supposed to call me this evening. If you don't have time, then I'll just have to wait to hear from her."

"I don't," I said boldly.

Seconds later, I said goodbye and hung up.

"Alright, let's go for a ride," I called to Bob.

I'd taken him into the precinct with me that morning where Paul had picked him up to play with the kids before dropping returning him to me. We got into the truck with Bob in the passenger seat. Driving down Hamilton, I headed for Slater Street when the truck suddenly turned into the Tasty Pastry parking lot.

Inside, I looked at all the premade cakes and picked out the one with the gooiest, thickest frosting, asking the baker write a special message.

At the Plum residence, there wasn't a single car in the driveway or street. They were probably all at the hospital.

I called my Aunt Kass, who was another nurse, to see if Stephanie was there.

It felt like I was having an out of body experience. I wasn't even thinking about what I was doing. I was just _doing _it.

Aunt Kass confirmed that every Khloughn and Plum were at the hospital and had been since the incident the night before.

I needed to do this, because it was too late to turn back.

Taking the elevator to the surgery/recovery floor, I found my way to the waiting room where I looked into the glass room from the hallway. Inside, Stephanie's nieces were playing a card game on the floor. Albert was watching the television, mouth open, catching flies. Frank sat to the right of Stephanie.

Large, dark circles were under her red-rimmed eyes.

Frank caught my gaze, and said something into Stephanie's ear before standing up to stretch. He opened the metal door to the room, closing it quietly behind him.

"She's fragile right now, son."

I nodded.

"You aren't here to cause her any more worry, are you?"

I shook my head and lifted up the cake.

He smiled then, patting my back. "I'm going to grab some coffee. They're allowing two visitors at a time, and Helen and Valerie are in now. They won't be out for—" he looked at his watch, "—another twenty minutes."

"Thanks, Frank."

"If that cake brings a smile to her face, then thank _you_, Morelli."

I took a deep breath. It was now or never.

She didn't even notice, as I walked in and placed the cake two seats from her left.

She looked like a freaking zombie.

"You doing okay?"

"Yeah, just tired now," she replied, slowly facing me.

She looked so sad—so broken. And it just about broke me. I gently tucked behind her ear a curl that'd come loose.

"I bet. I brought you something," I said softly.

"You didn't have to do that."

"But I wanted to."

I turned to grab the 'I'm sorry. I love you' cake.

It's what I'd had the bakery write on the cake. Not knowing what else so say, I'd merely said what I was feeling.

"W—What's this?" she asked confusedly, as I placed it on her lap.

I bit the inside of my cheek. "What does it say?"

_Why was I so fucking nervous?_

"Um—it says, 'I'm sorry. I love you.'"

Stephanie slowly took her eyes from the cake to meet mine, and those blue eyes of hers were filled with fear and sadness. I knew not all of it was because of what Edna had been through. I'd been the cause of some of her pain—again.

I nodded.

"Do—Does this mean you're willing to try again?"

Allowing a warm smile to slowly cover my face, I nodded. She looked from the cake to me—back and forth, until I was ready to jump out of my skin with worry.

_What was she thinking? Why wasn't she smiling or saying anything?_

Her eyes finally settled on mine. She started to smile, but it instantly fell.

_What the hell?_

"Does this mean I can't take the job?"

Oh.

_How to answer?_


	16. Chapter 16

Happy Wednesday! I really suck at these dang author notes but I refuse to post without sending a thank you out to everyone.

I battled with this chapter for so long it isn't even funny. I was able to make it through because of my tower of strength (that would be Carol and Julie). I wish I could update faster but the reality of it is that I'm not going to post a half hearted, cruddy chapter that I'm not happy with and especially if my Beta's aren't satisfied. And it's a fact that anytime I have to think before I speak it takes me a while :) (Trust me, I can confuse you to no end without even trying) So thank you for being patient and still keeping up with me. I appreciate it so much.

It goes without saying that this chapter would not be here without my Tower of Strength. You guys are so amazing. Thank you for every bit of help. It's beyond incredible to know that when I feel like pounding my head against the wall I know you will be there, even with such busy lives, to help me work through my issues. My head was already through the wall several times over the last week and you pulled me out. I owe you guys big time.

Thank you all.

* * *

**Joe's POV**

_How the hell had I gotten here? Better yet, how the hell was I supposed to answer her question? _

_How DID I feel about her taking a job with Ranger?_

That last thought had consumed me since I'd left her parent's house on Saturday. Work, television, sleep—nothing had been able to distract me from the nagging question. Jesus, only Stephanie had the capability to alter the balance of my world like that.

Despite my certainty I loved her, _one _simple remark and all my insecurities were back to the surface, which only proved we hadn't completely dealt with the issues between us. And right in the middle of a hospital waiting room was NOT the place to try.

"Joe, I asked you a question," Stephanie urged impatiently. Between the stress of her grandmother's surgery and the uncertainty between us, her nerves were on the edge as well.

"I know!" I shot back, a little more aggressively than necessary. Lowering my voice, I took her hand. "I know. I'm not trying to give you the run around, Cupcake, but it's too big of a conversation to have here." I waved my hand to indicate the waiting room.

She sighed in frustration, clearly not happy with my answer, and said dully, "I don't have the energy for this."

Shit, I was blowing it—big time—which is what happened when you went with your gut and not your head. Probably I shouldn't have brought the cake. I should've waited for a better time to talk things over rather than saying 'I love you' in such a dramatic fashion.

I _did _love her, and I wanted one last chance to make things right between us.

"Come on," I said out of the blue, surprising us both. Standing, I lifted the cake off of her lap and set it aside, then pulled her up. "We both could use some air."

"I don't need air—I need an answer!" she groused petulantly, as we navigated the halls and elevator. "Why did you go to all this trouble with the cake if you can't even answer a simple question! Obviously you aren't past your anger with me over Ranger. It's because you saw us at lunch on Sunday, right? I know how upset you were with me—"

"Jesus—Steph, would you just wait a minute!"

Pushing her through the double-doors of the front entrance, I practically dragged her across the street to a bench near a small fountain.

"I can't help it! You've got my stomach in knots, Joe Morelli!"

Her voice hitched, and I had the horrible realization she was about to cry. I _hated _when she cried.

"One minute you act like you ne—never want to see my face again, and the next you gi—give me a cake and tell me you love me? What the hell do you want?" She practically yelled the last part.

It was a good question. _What did I want? _Somehow I knew we needed to find the answer—together, but first I needed to keep her from falling apart.

So I stopped her the only way I knew would work.

I kissed her.

* * *

**Stephanie's POV**

_What the heck?_

_He was kissing me—voraciously!_

Oh God, I needed that kiss like I needed water to live.

Wrapping my arms around his neck, I gave in to the feeling—if only for that brief moment. After almost losing my grandmother to death hours before, I wanted to feel alive. And _no one _could make me feel more alive than Joe.

His lips eventually gentled, and he pulled back, his desire for me still staring into my eyes. My heart began to pound at the realization he still wanted me. Maybe he _had _forgiven me. Maybe there _was _hope.

But then my brain took over. We hadn't solved anything. Joe still hadn't answered my question about the job, and somehow I knew his answer would define our entire future.

I _wanted_ that job.

I was close to feeling as if I _needed_ that job.

But I needed Joe _more_.

"Listen to me, Stephanie." His voice practically burned me with its intensity. "We need to talk—_really_ talk, which isn't a strength for either one of us."

"I know," I murmured somewhat dazedly. I was still recovering from his kiss.

"I want to answer your question about Ranger. I'm _going _to answer your question, but not here. Not now. Right now I just need for you to know I love you. I've _always _loved you, and I'm willing to try and make 'us' work."

The words bathed by soul in warmth again. He could say it a million times, and I wouldn't get tired of hearing the words.

"Then when?"

My happiness was short-lived, because it'd taken about two seconds for impatience to take over again.

He floundered for a moment, trying to think of a suitable response. It was strange to see my arrogant cop so uncertain.

His eyes suddenly lit up. "The State Fair is this week. I'd like to take you. Tomorrow night if you're up for it."

My forehead furrowed. Talk about something coming out of left field. _Was he asking me on a date?_

"You mean—like a carnival date?"

He relaxed a bit, and smiled wolfishly. "Yeah, exactly like that. You and I seemed to have missed that important step somewhere along the line."

The idea was equally as thrilling at thirty-three as it would've been at sixteen.

"I'd love to go." I said softly, feeling a real smile cross my face for the first time in days.

He smiled and brushed his finger over my cheek, and I closed my eyes at the sensation. To hell with everything else—as long as he was by my side, I could deal with anything thrown my way.

"You're serious about you and me? As a couple again?" I questioned. I had to be sure.

"Yes," He placed a feather soft kiss on my lips, "I want to spend tomorrow night having fun with you." He paused before adding firmly, "And talking. It may not a strong point for either of us, but it has to happen, Cupcake, if we want a future together."

I _hated_ talking. Usually it made me emotional, and man, it'd been a rough week already.

"Much as I hate it, you're right," I returned rather glumly to which he laughed.

"Try not to sound too excited."

"It's not the date; it's just—"

He put a finger to my lips. "I know. I feel the same way about talking, but it's going to be okay. Speaking of talking," he switched gears in the way we were both so good at, "Detective Stewart called me. The prints came back this afternoon. They were a match. They released Alex after questioning on Saturday, so they're out looking for him again. Apparently his father is well known in town. Lots of money—old money."

"Yeah, I kind of had that feeling. What's it mean for me?"

"Not sure yet. A lot of times money doesn't affect the outcome of domestic violence cases, but I don't know the judges there."

Joe looked rather defeated, knowing he couldn't count on being the one to save me this time.

Trenton had its many downfalls, but at least there you knew what you were up against when it came to judges and political types.

"I'll ask around when I get back. We should know as soon as they get him back in the system if the judge is good depending on whether he lets him out on bond again or not."

I thought about that, looking for the meaning in-between his words.

"Because if they let him out that's bad. It means the judge is in someone's pocket, right?" I surmised.

"Yeah, you had a restraining order against him. The fact that he came after you again—even if it was just your car and not your body—shows he's a repeat offender type. But there's the written law and the judge's pocket law."

"And if the judge feels like his pocket's going to be affected, then he'll do what's best for him," I finished sadly.

"There's no need to worry about it right now." Suddenly Joe perked up. "Alex probably has no idea you're here, and they'll find them as fast as they can."

"So when Detective Stewart calls me your _girlfriend_ again, I don't have to be shocked? It will be for real?" I teased, nudging him with my shoulder.

At first Joe looked like I did when I was about to deny something, but then he shrugged his shoulder, trying to hide his embarrassment.

"He told you about that, huh?"

"He did, and I didn't correct him. I liked it."

He smiled and placed a soft kiss on the tip of my nose. "Good to know."

A surge of love flowed through my body at his assertion. It was reassuring to know Joe didn't care if I watched what I said. Life was going to be good from here on out.

"How's your Grandmother doing?"

He quickly brought me back to reality, and his concern charmed me. It never ceased to amaze me what a selfless person Joe had grown to be. It was just one more reminder of why I should and would love him openly and without fear.

"She's okay. They have her on all kinds of medication—meds for her heart on top of antibiotics—so she's been mostly resting. That's what they want her to do anyway."

"Have they told you when they're going to release her?"

I frowned slightly and shook my head. "No, they want to monitor her until Friday at least. Her heart stopped completely. If that hadn't happened, they were going to release her tomorrow."

He made an effort to cheer me up, "Just remember how strong she is. You damn well know she's going to bounce back." He winked. "She has _many_ viewings in her future to terrorize."

_God, I prayed he was right._

I didn't want to leave Joe's side, but family obligation was pulling at me from inside the hospital.

"I should get back up there."

Joe stood and took my hands to pull me up. I was really enjoying the contact we were making. Regardless of the state of our relationship in the past, I'd always enjoyed his touch—and now it seemed even more tender.

"I'll walk you up."

"Are you sure you want to do that?"

"Why wouldn't I?" he asked in irritation, his eyebrows knit together.

I grimaced. "You know as soon as I step foot into the waiting room the Plum Inquisition will start. Do you feel like dealing with that?"

Joe gave me a guilty look and rubbed the back of his neck as he hedged, "You won't hate me if I don't want to face the firing squad? I _do_ have Bob in the car."

"Actually, I'd rather talk to my mom first before she goes after you with questions."

Taking a step forward, I kissed Joe's cheek and let my lips linger there longer than normal. I was enjoying the fact I didn't have to hold back my caresses anymore—unlike the dinner we'd shared earlier in the week when kisses seemed almost forbidden.

Then a thought struck me. "I _can_ tell her we're together, right?"

"I don't have an issue with that," Joe affirmed. From the sexy look he was giving me, there was no doubt he wouldn't have a problem calling me his girlfriend once again.

"So you aren't embarrassed to have me as a girlfriend? I wasn't sure. I thought maybe I was only your girlfriend in _Philadelphia_." I gave him a cheeky grin. No way was I going to forget his slip up with the detective now that we were on stable ground.

"Smart ass, let's get you upstairs before you say anymore, and I have to show you what happens to naughty girlfriends. I can deal with your mom—just not today."

"Watch out, I might just enjoy being taught a lesson," I tossed back sassily. Turning toward the hospital, I made sure to put a little more sway in my hips.

I hadn't flirted with Joe in too long. _God, it felt good._

He pulled my hand back. "Get over here."

Lacing our fingers, I couldn't prevent a contented sigh from escaping. In response, Joe squeezed my hand a little tighter.

* * *

**Joe's POV**

Pressing the call button for the elevator, I looked down at Steph's and my entwined hands. It was hard to fathom that only a couple of hours earlier I'd still been debating on whether or not I even wanted her back.

Tired of fighting my emotions, I'd finally allowed my heart to lead the way. And now it felt as if a huge granite boulder had been lifted off my shoulders. I'd made my decision.

Her hand in mine was just _right_.

No other explanation was needed. My heart finally felt at peace—more peaceful than it had in over two years.

"What are you thinking about?" Stephanie asked quietly. Fear was clearly evident in her eyes.

I'll be damned if my first thought wasn't to lie and tell her work or family. But if I expected honesty from her, I needed to offer the same gift in return.

Lifting our hands, I acknowledged, "This."

Her fear ratcheted to alarm in a heartbeat, and I rushed to reassure her. But she beat me to the punch, her body tense in the anticipation of rejection.

"You've changed your mind again."

Taking her other hand, I brought both behind my back, easing her forward so that her front was pressed against mine.

I leaned down and kissed her lips. "Not at all. In fact, just the opposite."

She straightened, and I wanted to groan from the friction my deprived body felt.

"Seriously? No lying? Not even a little?" Her eyes brightened considerably but still clung to the doubt.

_Ping_

The door to the elevator opened behind me. Looking over my shoulder to ensure no one was getting off first, I pulled us both into the elevator in the same position we'd been in the hall.

My answer was to cover her lips with an intense kiss.

"Does that answer your question?" I finally managed.

_Her_ response was to back me up against the wall. I let our fingers release, and she immediately took my face into her hands. "Good," she whispered.

Stephanie's lips delicately touched mine, and she slid her already tightly pressed body up higher to deepen the kiss.

We both let out deep moans at the contact, and Stephanie took that as initiative to trace my lips. Since today was a day of denying her very little, I obliged.

"You're impatient today," I rasped into her ear before kissing it.

Another low moan came from her, as she rubbed her body against mine again.

"You have _no_ idea how much I want this," she said breathlessly, pushing me harder against the wall.

Her hands were everywhere—my back, cupping my ass, feeling out my chest.

_Oh yes, I did!_

A part of me was stunned by her take-charge attitude, but it just showed she needed and wanted the connection as much as I did.

"I could get used to this," I murmured into her lips, taking over the kiss again.

This new, aggressive Stephanie was a welcome change. While I loved perusing her, there wasn't anything more stimulating than _being_ pursued.

And by God, my body was _very_ stimulated.

My hands snaked their way under her shirt, fingers skimming her back and aching to go further.

"I need to slow down," I panted out, lining kisses down her neck to her collarbone.

I couldn't very well take her there in the elevator—much as I wanted to.

_Try telling that to your body, Joe._ It was responding in all kinds of ways.

"Jesus, Joe, I—I can't," her voice hitched when I cupped her ass. She nipped at my neck. "I don't want to stop."

Her hands had worked the button and zipper to my jeans. She was easing her way into my boxers when the 'ping' sounded again. Stephanie jumped at the intrusive sound.

Stepping back, she straightened out my shirt. "You might want to fix your hair," she joked weakly.

With one hand holding down the close' button, I used the other to adjust all my parts, making sure everything was back in place and not too noticeable.

"Hold on," I said hurriedly, removing her shirt from where it'd been tucked into her bra.

The absence of contact was almost painful—our encounter had been far too short. I knew Steph was feeling the same way by the frown that marred her face.

Kissing her pouty and now deliciously pink lips once more, I took her hand in mine and led the way to the waiting room. We walked quietly, stopping just short of the doors.

"Should I pick you up here or at your parent's house tomorrow?"

"What time?"

"I should be done at the station around four, like today. How about five? We could go get dinner and then head to the fair?"

"As long as there's dessert, I don't care."

I nipped at her ear. "Do I count as dessert?"

She checked to see if anyone was watching before bringing her hands up to my chest and rubbing them up and down. Gently, I wrapped my hands around her wrists in response, knowing I'd be unable to control my body if she kept up her movements. Gazing at her, I sensed something was on her mind.

"What?"

* * *

**Stephanie's POV**

_Oh God, how was I going to tell him—especially after what had happened in the elevator?_

"Uh—it's—I—"

Joe's face hardened. "Spit it out."

"I kind of want to take things a little slower than the elevator."

I closed my eyes, bracing for impact.

Joe blew out a frustrated breath. I wasn't certain if it was because of my request or just me in general. He wrapped his hand around the back of my neck and pulled me toward his chest. Gratefully, I wrapped my arms around him.

"Do you have any idea how hard that's going to be?" he asked low against my ear.

_God, I loved his voice._

I shifted uncomfortably against him, knowing I'd soon be running home for a freezing shower and a change of panties.

"We've always centered our relationship around sex, and I—"

He kissed my lips to quiet me.

_Damn was he good—even without tongue. _

"You don't have to explain to me. I get it. I just want to make sure you know how hard it's going to be." He ground against me, and I shut my eyes before they could roll out of their sockets.

"Uh huh—I know," I said on a moan.

"As long as we're clear." He grinned seductively; fully aware of the effect he had on me.

Needing to break free of his embrace before I went back on my word, I stepped out of his hold.

"Pick me up at my parent's house then. I'll be here for most of the day, and then I'll go there to change and get ready."

"Okay, but don't dress too fancy. I don't want those carnival workers getting any ideas."

"Fancy? Me? No way! I'm dressing for fun," I replied excitedly.

He laughed at my happiness, but I knew he liked seeing it.

"I'll see you tomorrow."

He gave me a kiss with a quick swipe of the tongue. Not the most romantic kiss, but I was a more than willing to participate.

Both of us reluctantly pulled our hands apart. I turned to open the door, and Joe moved to leave. Before I had the door open, he turned around one last time and kissed my forehead.

"I love you, Cupcake."

"Love you too, Joe."

I slowly walked back into the waiting room savoring the joy of what had just happened outside—along with apprehension as to what awaited me inside. Surely my mother and Valerie would be out of Grandma's room by now.

Taking a deep, deep breath, I walked into impact zone.

My mother was wringing her hands together. "Stephanie—"

I put my hand up. _What an idiot—did I really think that would stop a woman on a mission?_

She pointed to the cake. "What is this? What happened that _Joseph_ is sorry and felt he needed to declare his love for you on a cake?"

"I'll give you answers if you let me have my cake first." I stood tall, trying to take the control of the conversation.

Not waiting for an answer, I looked to my niece. "Angie, will you go see if the nurse can bring in a few plates and forks?"

If I was going to have this conversation with my mother, I needed fortification.

Soon enough Angie returned with all that was required to eat the cake, and by the time we'd all had a piece, the cake read, "I'm so ove you". I'd asked Albert to cut around the letters, and I had to give him credit for at least trying, although the result left a lot to be desired.

I had to give my mom some credit too, because she managed to wait until I'd polished off my _huge_ slice of cake. Stalling a little longer by licking the crumbs, I was stopped with the plate midway in the air by my mother's hand on my arm.

"Time's up! I'm through waiting." Her eyes started to moisten. "Stephanie, are—are you and Joseph to—together?"

At least she was getting straight to the point. Looking across the room, I was quite surprised to see my father staring at me as well.

_Was he waiting for an answer too? _Apparently so, because he caught me staring and lifted his eyebrows at me.

_Hunh!_ _Who knew my dad even cared?_

"Yes, I think—"

"You think?" My mother rocketed out of her chair; startling poor Lisa from her nap and almost causing her to fall off her make shift bed.

Valerie had been trading off with Albert in bringing the two older kids to and from school, but Lisa had been with us all day. She'd been cranky without a nap, until we'd finally shoved two chairs together to hold her.

"Kids don't know what real love takes anymore," my father mumbled to himself.

His reaction left me momentarily stunned, and I just sat there staring at him.

Valerie settled Lisa back down and shot a scary glare at my mother before jumping into the chair next to me.

"I'm so happy for you!" She squeezed me tight. "You _finally_ listened to your big sister and wised up, eh?"

Valerie had known the hurt I'd felt while I was in Philadelphia. She'd even had a little heartache along with me.

"Yeah, something like that," I said in appeasement, rolling my eyes at the same time.

My mother came to stand in front of me. "So you lied to me the other night? Joseph didn't just drop you off as a friend?" She let out a disgusted huff. "I told you not to lie to me, Ste—"

"I didn't lie!" Standing, I walked toward the window. "We're going to work it out. We're going on a date tomorrow."

"A date? Well, it's about time you two got off to a better start. No more giving out—"

I cut her off, "We're going to talk." _Why did that sentence always make me want to spit on the ground? _"We have a lot to work through."

"Does this mean you're going to get married _this_ time?"

"Helen!" My father admonished before I could speak. He leaned forward to pat my knee. "Don't think about that right now, sweetheart."

"What? It's a good question! Did you know I've spent the greater part of three years praying you two would get your shit together?" She looked just as surprised by her words as I was and immediately crossed herself.

She barely took a breath before continuing her rant. "In my day you never went back and forth. You knew if you were going to get married or not. I don't understand this foolishness. You and Joseph—"

She'd been calmer than I'd expected up until this point.

"Mom!" Val and I said at the same time.

"Please don't pressure me this time," I added. "You were doing so well not interfering in my relationships."

She waved her hand in my face. "But—but I know Joseph can make you happy. Even if that jerk Alex had treated you better, we _all_ know Joseph can make you _happier_."

Truer words had never been spoken—not that I was about to tell _her_!

A nurse knocked on the door and poked her head inside before I could think of a comeback.

"Edna is awake again if you want to send someone in for a visit."

My mother's eyes squinted in my direction. "It's your turn, but don't you dare think this conversation is anywhere near over."

I disliked hospitals and by mere association nurses as well; however, I could've kissed that nurse. As far as I was concerned, the conversation _was_ over.

I'd let Joe handle the next round!

The nurse led me down the hallway to the room on the right. I'd seen Grandma a few times since last night, but she'd been resting most of the time. Due to all the pain medication they were pumping in her, I hadn't been able to catch her awake yet. The nurses had warned me she would tire easily, but I was hoping for a good thirty minutes with her.

It still took me by surprise seeing her hooked to all of those wires. Her heart monitor beeped at a steady rate, and the oxygen thingy continued to operate at the same pace I'd memorized earlier in the day.

"You made it!" Grandma exclaimed when I sat in the chair on the side of her bed.

"What do you mean, Grandma?" I asked, completely confused.

She just chuckled. "Never mind. It was just a dream." Her words were slightly slurred, and I was reminded once again of the heavy medication she was on.

Taking her hand, I gently rubbed her paper-thin skin with my fingers. "Oh yeah? Have you been dreaming a lot?"

She looked at me in a contemplative manner before she spoke.

"I'm not sure if they were dreams or not. They seemed so real—more real than those where you wake up sweating or crying. It was almost like an out of body experience."

I knew that kind of dream—nightmare really. I'd had my fair share—just not the out of body kind.

Of course this was Grandma. She always did things on a grander scale than anyone else.

"What were they about?" I was glad to have something to talk about besides the heart stopping (both hers and mine) incident from the night before.

_That_ had been a nightmare to watch. And I could live without ever having a repeat experience either. Before the nurses had removed me from the doorway, I'd never felt so helpless in my entire life.

Her eyes were damp, and she closed them to ward off the tears.

"I saw Grandpa Harry. He looked just like the day I met him. The day I fell in love with him."

"I bet he was real handsome." I'd seen pictures, and my grandparents were a striking couple.

"Damn skippy, he was! Don't you ever doubt where your good looks come from. Anyway, he showed me what looked like a movie reel. You know the kind from my time? It was all scratchy, but he wanted me to see what was coming."

"Do you dream about Grandpa often?"

_What in the world was she going to say?_

"Daydream—but this wasn't like that. I was there. I felt him. I know it was real. He told me it wasn't the last touch I'd feel." She giggled and thought some more. "I saw this burst of neon yellow light, and there he was standing in front of me. Remember when we used to go to that lunch buffet after church and meet up with your dad and Grandpa?"

I nodded. I still didn't understand all she was saying. It sounded really out there.

"We were there, and it was decorated with an Asian theme like it was when he was alive—not the country hooky crap they have in there now. His plate was full of all those fried shrimp he liked and the little steaks wrapped in bacon. I swear those are what killed him, and they just kept coming. He'd eat one, and there'd be five in its place."

"What?" I asked confusedly.

"He slapped my hand away when I went to grab one—just like in the old days. There's hope for _your_ metabolism still, don't worry now." She looked up at me. "But don't go overboard either. You still have Plum in you. You'll be battling it when you're in your fifties!"

I chuckled—Grandma was an amusing high. "Was that all you dreamt about?"

"Nope." She looked so content and happy to recall her dream; I almost believed she spent time with Grandpa.

"We went and sat at the booth that fit all of us. You remember, right?" She didn't wait for me to answer.

"The movie reel started, and at first it just showed Valerie playing with Lisa on the ground, but then this little boy ran up to her. A little while later, two other girls came in the room with Albert. They looked like a big, happy family. They called him Marky. It was the sweetest thing." She paused, "But do you want to know what was even sweeter?"

"Tell me."

This was fascinating. She was talking slowly, and I curbed my impatience to the best of my ability. Her dream of Valerie and the rest of the Kloughns sounded cute. I hadn't heard if Val had confirmed her pregnancy or not, but maybe they'd be having a little 'Marky' yet. I'd always been a believer in dreams having meaning.

"I know I wasn't there with all of you, because you dedicated your toast to me. Your mother crossed herself and said 'God rest her soul'."

At my shocked look, she added, "Don't worry about me. I'll be having plenty of fun with Bernie. I just have to find him when I escape this joint."

"Grandpa showed you a man you're going to meet?" I asked dryly.

"Heck yeah, he did. He knows I need to have fun before I see him again. Now would you shush so I can finish? Hot Buns was holding this party of sorts for you at Pino's—some celebration for closing a big case of yours. You two had so much love radiating toward one another. The entire night he hardly let you away from his side, though it didn't look like there was anywhere you would've rather been. That bounty hunter you work with was there with a tall Brazilian looking woman."

"Ranger?"

She nodded. "He's still going to have one fine package, even when he's grey," She slurped her dentures. "And that big black man, who's watched over you from time to time, was there too. All your nieces and nephews were running around with their cousins." Her eyes twinkled, and I wished I could've seen her dream with my own eyes.

"Cousins? They had cousins?" I inquired, on the edge of my seat. I wanted her to finish her dream before she got too sleepy from the drugs, which had probably been the main source of these dreams.

"Yes, there were seven kids running around. You should've seen your mother trying to round them all up." Grandma laughed very softly. "Your kids are going to be the most perfect combination of you and Joe—stubborn as all get out and smart as a whip. You're going to lose hair over them, so get that shampoo that helps it grow back."

"Oh jeez, how many did you say? Were they all boys?" I fretted, immediately thinking of Bella.

I swear if she cursed me—

"I'm not tellin'! There has to be some surprise in this world. But I will tell you they're going to be vibrant, happy and well loved. Joe is going to make the perfect daddy one day. Your kids are going to be a handful, but they'll love you and be incredibly loyal."

I nodded, because I wanted Joe in that position. Only Joe.

"And don't you worry about Joseph aging. The wisps of gray that are going to show up around the edges when he's in his mid-forties will only add to his appeal. Your man is going to get way better with age. Probably you'll just appreciate him more after your fights. As a matter of fact, I _know _you_ appreciated _him more after. That's how you had number three."

I swiped at my eyes, fighting back tears. I wanted this life. If only her dreams could be real.

I was eagerly anticipating tomorrow night. Any doubts or fears I'd had earlier in the day were gone. I could hold onto Grandma's dream for strength.

"What Harry showed me makes me believe I don't ever have to worry about the family. Just like he said before he died, all of you will make it through your ups and downs as long as you're dedicated. You'll all be happy in the future. It might take some time to get there, and your mother is going to need strength from you girls, but it will happen."

She seemed to be fading fast as she was talking, her voice barely above a whisper. "He said I could see more when I go back to see him for good."

I _wanted_ to accept everything she'd said as truth, but unfortunately I knew they were just medicated dreams.

"Thank you for sharing your dreams with me, Grandma"

"One more thing—don't _ever_ dye your hair that awful burgundy color. You're too damn pale to pull it off. It was bad enough when you went blonde."

"Okay, I won't," I laughed. "I'm going to let you get some rest, okay?"

She nodded, probably too tired to talk anymore.

I stood up and placed a chaste kiss on her forehead. I'd just turned to leave when she took hold of my wrist.

"That's your future if you let it happen, Stephanie. Stop being so afraid and embrace everything you have going for you. Did I tell you Joe's going to get better with age?"

I stared at my grandma and blinked. Her eyes had been closed the entire time she spoke.

"You did. I love you, Grandma."

She made a grumbling sound and was out.

_Oh my God! Had she turned into a Hungarian version of Grandma Bella?_

Just what I needed—_two_ Grandmothers projecting their craziness onto me.

* * *

**Joe's POV**

"Jesus, Bob—when did I become such a dope? I'm a fucking nervous wreck. How did this happen?"

The dog merely stared at me from where he was lounging on the bed while I dressed.

"I've changed my clothes three times. Three times! Where the hell did this shit come from anyway? Had to have been my mother."

I'd laid out clothes before showering, but at the last minute had decided I wasn't going to pick up Stephanie dressed as 'Preppy Joe' or 'Casually Dressy Joe' tonight.

No, I was going to pick her up as good old Joe Morelli wearing worn out blue jeans and a grey ribbed Henley.

I turned to look at Bob.

"This work?"

He made a whiney noise that I assumed meant 'yes'.

"I want her to be herself tonight, so I need to be me too, right?"

I patted his head. "Wish me luck Bob. Knowing your pseudo mom's history, I'm liable to be thrown off a rollercoaster."

As I stuck the key in the ignition minutes later, I realized I'd just had a one-sided conversation with my dog.

_Christ, what was happening to me?_

**Stephanie's POV**

I was putting the finishing touches on my make up when Mary Alice parked herself outside of the bathroom.

"What's up? You need to get in here?" I asked, keeping my eyes on the mirror so I didn't poke my eye out.

"No, I'm just watching you get pretty."

I flicked my eyes at her. "Okay, uh, thanks."

"Are you and Joe really going on a date?" she asked, picking a piece of lint off of my purple t-shirt.

It went well with my subdued look of jean shorts and converse sneakers. Light makeup and a ponytail completed the effect. If I was going to live a teenage fantasy, might as well dress like it on the outside.

But my lacy underwear and push up bra were adult through and through.

"Sure am." I smacked my lips together to make sure my lip-gloss was evenly applied.

"Are you guys going to kiss like you did earlier today? I was coming out of the bathroom when I saw you. I want a boy to kiss me like that." She swooned, and I blushed.

"You better wait until you're older for that. Probably when you're my age you can start looking for a boy to do that with."

I couldn't believe I'd been caught. Public displays of affection were new to me.

"Are you nervous?" she wondered.

A panicky laugh escaped as I thought about more PDA's with Joe, our talk and what would happen in the evening.

"Is it that obvious? I mean I've known him almost as long as I've been able to walk. I shouldn't be nervous, should I?" I rambled to my young niece.

She giggled. "Mom says when you're nervous, it's because you care. That's what she tells Albert before he goes to court."

"Your mom can be pretty smart sometimes," I agreed. "Is your Grandma still at the deli with Grandpa?"

She giggled again, and I rolled my eyes. _Kids had no idea how stressful dating was!_

"Yes, you want to leave before she comes home, don't you. If you want, I can wait by the window and watch for you."

"Would you? That would be great!" I said, giving her a hug.

I went into my room to make sure I had money and keys in my purse when she yelled up that Joe had pulled into the driveway.

Quickly grabbing a light sweater, I ran down the stairs.

**Joe's POV**

I pulled into the Plum's driveway cognizant of the fact that four days ago I'd considered never returning to pick up Steph as anything other than a friend again.

_Thank God I'd changed my mind!_

I hadn't even reached the first step when she came flying out of the house, almost knocking me over.

"Whoa there. In a hurry to go somewhere?"

"Maybe." She was trying to catch her breath. "As long as _you're_ going to that somewhere with me."

She leaned up for a very chaste kiss. "Come on! I want to ride a couple rides before this night is over."

She tugged on my arm. Her excitement was contagious, as I followed her to the truck.

I'd planned on opening the door for her, but she was already in and buckled, so instead I closed it. Climbing into the driver's seat, I put the key in the ignition, but rather than starting the car, I leaned over the console and pulled her a little closer.

"Don't I deserve a better kiss than the one I got? I _am_ taking you to a place that serves funnel cakes, you know. You have to earn it."

Her eyes lit up, although I wasn't sure if it was from the idea of the kiss or the cake. Grabbing my shoulders, she pulled me closer and our lips touched in devastating passion.

_Okay—it was definitely the kiss._

Instantly the nerves I'd been feeling melted away, and in its place pure desire took over. She'd definitely earned her cake.

"You'd better not be a tease tonight. I don't want to spontaneously combust at the fair."

"You asked for it!" She gave me a final kiss on my cheek before I pulled out of the driveway.

She practically vibrated with excitement beside me, and I knew I was in for a hell of a night. Passionate was the word to describe her. She did _everything_ with passion.

Shit, did they make a pill that did the opposite of Viagra? I sure as hell was in need of it.

* * *

**Stephanie's POV**

Joe took my hand as soon as we hit the main road. "I'm on a few different missions tonight."

Oh God, his voice was going to drive me up the wall tonight with its sexiness. The lower rumble had my body on full alert.

_Why had I said I wanted to take things slow?_

He looked over at me briefly, and I felt the first tendrils of anxiety. Trying to pull my hand away, he just gripped it tighter.

"First and foremost, we're going to have fun and make it a night to remember."

"I can do that," I responded nervously. "What're your other 'missions'?"

"Like I said, we're going to talk." He took a hard swallow before going on. "I need you to know what I'm expecting out of this relationship, Steph, and I need to know what _you _want from me—not rules—more like a guide. What we did before obviously didn't work."

"No, it didn't," I agreed softly, once again tasting the bitter aftermath of my past deceptions. I forced myself to shove regret from my mind. Tonight was about new beginnings—not past mistakes.

Joe continued, "I know what I want, and I hope you do too. We need to be adults about this—_both _of us."

"Alright, anything else?"

I didn't want to be a nervous wreck all night waiting for what Joe was going to say, but I didn't have much of a choice, because I sure as hell wanted a relationship to work with him.

"Yeah, no matter how upset you might get, please don't throw me off of a ride. I think Bob was a little concerned before I left the house," he teased.

We were at a stoplight, and he leaned over and kissed me before I could shove him away.

* * *

**Joe's POV**

_Whew!_

I wanted to wipe my brow, feeling as though I'd jumped my first hurdle. Stephanie had taken it way better than I'd imagined.

_Okay, maybe I COULD do this relationship business right. _

"So where are we going to eat?" she asked after a few minutes of silence.

"Where would you like to go—Rossini's—the deli by the bonds office—Pino's? Or—"

I was playing with her, knowing full well what she was going to choose.

"Or what? Why are you making me choose?" she asked, frustrated.

"Because I want you to have choices." I brought her hand to my lips. "I want you to always remember that nothing is ever black and white, Cupcake."

She seemed to mull that over for a second. "Okay, so what's the final selection?"

"Fair food."

Her eyes glittered, and I loved the fact that I knew her so well.

"Duh!" She smacked my arm. "The fair!"


	17. Chapter 17

Not mine, JE owns them all, much to my dismay.

Happy Sunday! I hope everyone is enjoying their day!

A big thank you to everyone for reading and reviewing! I love hearing the feedback; you guys are amazing! It makes this whole experience that much more fun.

Thank you as well to the best team on the planet. Carol and Julie, I so enjoy my time with you and all the help you lend as my brain works through everything I want to put down on paper. Your friendship is an added bonus to this Fanfiction world and I'm so, so very thankful!

Happy Thanksgiving, I hope everyone is able to enjoy some time with family and friends.

Lastly, and I should put this every chapter... I am not an expert by any means when it comes to _anything_ I write about. I try my best to research and write to the best of my abilities. Not everything I say is always accurate and there is always room for improvement in my writing. I know this, I hope you understand that I am just having fun writing something that is enjoyable for you to read :).

Enjoy!

* * *

Chapter 17

**Stephanie's POV**

"Why'd you have to park so far away?" I panted. It seemed like we'd walked five miles to the entrance gates.

"Did you see parking any closer?" Joe responded, taking our admission bands from the counter lady.

I decided it was best to not respond, because he was right. Instead, I stood there and inhaled the classic smells of the fair—the musky, grease stricken air made up of deep fried corn dogs—cotton candy—pretzels—popcorn and my favorite—funnel cakes.

Heaven.

Joe took my hand and kissed the palm before attaching the band to my wrist. "Unlimited rides, Cupcake."

Before I could stop myself, I taunted, "Do _you_ come with unlimited rides?"

A feral gleam took over his face, and my body went into overdrive. Before I knew what was happening, he was consuming my mouth—only separating when the catcalls and whistles became too much.

Both of us started laughing upon breaking free—me a little harder, because even Joe was blushing. That was something I almost never got to see, but it was well worth it when he did.

_Finally, _I had a reason to be thankful for all the cardio machines I'd spent time on in Philadelphia. Without them, I'd be breathing much heavier, and my heart would've split out of my chest by then.

"I warned you not to be a tease."

"I can't help it! You bring that side out of me," I complained mischievously. My hormones were taking over already, and we were only at the entrance.

"Don't I know it." Flashing me a sexy grin, he added, "The feeling is definitely mutual."

He brushed the backs of his fingers against my cheek, and I playfully swatted his hand away. A line of fire trailed afterward.

"Stop it! We're supposed to be taking it slow, _remember_?"

Smile firmly in place, his eyes gleamed with desire. "Your rules—not mine, Cupcake."

"You aren't going to let me live that down are you?" I responded, feeling somewhat irritated. I'd definitely made a bad decision there.

The battle of wills—Joe lovin' craving Steph vs. mature Steph seeing how things went—was going to be a knock out fight.

"I respect your choice and agree," he said with surprising seriousness, "but don't expect me not to test my boundaries." He quickly scooted out of reach, so I couldn't smack him upside the head for being such a tease.

"Grrrr, get me some damned food!" I demanded only half-jokingly.

"For you—anything."

God, I felt like Mary Alice, practically swooning over his words—that is until I heard him mumble 'when you use that tone'. It felt good to be back to our bantering ways.

We found a stand to satisfy both of us for dinner—deciding to hold off on dessert until later. I ordered a corn dog smothered in ketchup, while Joe had a cheeseburger.

"Have I ever told you how much I like the fact we eat the same food?" Glancing at my food and then Joe's, I couldn't help but smile. "One of my biggest pet peeves with Ranger was how healthy he eats. You're proof you can eat like crap and still look practically edible."

So many emotions flashed over Joe's face—anger, hurt, jealously—and all because of my big mouth! If only I could've swallowed the words before they'd left my lips. Why oh why wasn't there a rewind button in real life!

Shit!

**Joe's POV **

I looked at Stephanie in shock. _Had she really just said that?_

"Uh—" I was at a loss for words, but the frustration I'd felt in the past in thinking of all the times she'd thought about Ranger when with me rocketed to the surface.

_How the fuck was I supposed to respond? _I hadn't planned on having to keep my anger in check _this_ early on our date.

"I'm sorry," she apologized, and I could see immediately she meant it. "I shouldn't have said that."

Stephanie grabbed my hand, and I immediately stiffened at her touch.

"I'm so sorry. It's just—you know—I—"

"You can stop now," I said through gritted teeth, and then softened the blow of my hardened voice by adding, "Please."

I needed a moment to gain back my steady demeanor. We had more important things to discuss, so I'd let her slip pass—for now.

"I'm sorry," she mumbled, looking down at her food.

"I don't want to hear apologies all night. Eat so we can return to having fun." I squeezed her hand before going back to my burger.

We ate in silence. Steph continued to feel guilty about her thoughtless comments, while I worked to rein in my annoyance.

After ten minutes she said, "I'm not all that hungry."

I nodded, having lost most of my appetite as well.

Gathering our trash and depositing it in the nearest can, I returned to the table and held my hand out to her. She stood and took it hesitantly.

"What do you want to do next?" I asked, forcing an element of cheerfulness into my tone.

"I don't know. Crawling into a hole and never coming out sounds plenty good right now."

Blowing out a breath, I gathered her to me and spoke softly into her hair. "I'm sorry I reacted that way, Steph. I don't like being compared to him."

She sighed and sank into my embrace. "I know, and I didn't mean to. It just came out."

Placing a kiss on her temple, I pulled back to look her in the eye. "You did say I was—what was it—practically edible? Maybe we should test that theory."

She laughed into my shoulder, and I breathed a little easier. The moment of tension would soon be forgotten.

"You want to go play some games?" she asked.

She rubbed her stomach, and _my_ stomach tightened at the thought of her doing that while pregnant with my child. It could happen this time around—if we really tried—_and_ it was something she wanted. The thought motivated me to get more level headed, so we could wade through our issues. There was _no one_ else I could ever picture being the mother of my children. It was merely one of the reasons why Stephanie never escaped my mind after our last break-up.

She made a face of disgust and continued, "That way we have time to digest our food. I don't want to ruin our date by getting sick all over you."

**Stephanie's POV**

"What do you want me to win you?" Joe asked, as we navigated the crowds toward the booths, holding hands.

I gave him a cheeky grin. "Uh, _hello_—I can win my own stuff! What do you want me to win for _you_?"

Some kid bumped into me, and I lost Joe when our hands separated—but only for a moment. He noticed when I wasn't by his side almost immediately and gave the grungy teen a withering look. Blanching, the boy picked up his step in the opposite direction.

Score one for what I assumed was a really angry interrogation face.

Joe took my hand in his again—only this time it was a tighter clutch.

"I'm becoming very fond of this openly affectionate side of you," I commented light-heartedly.

He was looking around for a game that we both could play. His competitive spark had been ignited, and I knew we were going to have fun.

Moving toward the balloon filler, he said, "You want to attract more scary men whistling? Because I could do _a lot_ better than hand holding and kissing."

"I could definitely do without that. I'm just saying I think we're both usually more reserved with openly displaying how attracted we are to each other."

"You're right, but this is the _new_ us." He kissed the tip of my nose. "As long as you don't have a problem with it."

My smile of agreement was so blinding, he couldn't help but grin in return. I wanted _many_ more smiles like that, but first I wanted to kick his butt at some games. Situating ourselves next to each other at the booth, Joe gave the carnival worker enough money for us both to play.

"You ready to get your butt handed to you?" he asked, aiming his squirt gun toward the red dot.

I squirmed in my seat, getting ready for the buzzer to ring. "Puh-leez. You don't know what you just walked into. This is the _one_ game I could beat Valerie at. You're about to get your fine ass kicked!"

Joe let out a whoop that sent delicious chills down my spine. His laugh was like an aphrodisiac, and if he kept up his good spirits tonight, I'd say to hell with taking things slow!

Enough drooling—it was time to get into serious mode!

The buzzer pealed, and I pulled the trigger, aiming dead-on to the little dot the water needed to pass through in order to fill the balloon for it to pop. My balloon was just a hair above Joe's, and I could see him looking at my balloon out of the corner of his eye.

_I was so going to win this thing!_ I practically danced on my seat in an internal celebratory dance.

"I'm tired of worrying about what everyone else wants or thinks," he observed nonchalantly. "I want the new us to be all our own. I don't give a shit about what's expected out of me or the standards you think you should keep up with."

"Huh?" I asked absently. I was trying to focus on my balloon, but in the time it took to absorb Joe's words, his popped before mine.

He swiveled in his chair and cupped my face. "No black and white bullshit, Cupcake. We're going to do 'me and you' our _own_ way."

"But—"

He shook his head. "No but's—no Burg standards. No Morelli standards—none of it."

Did he realize how afraid I was of all of the rules I'd felt obligated to follow?

"God, I love you." I said, pulling on his t-shirt collar to bring him closer. The need to kiss him—and perhaps more—overwhelmed my body.

**Joe's POV**

Our passionate make out session was interrupted for the second time that night by the burly carnie.

"Which one of these cutesy stuffed animals would you like big guy?" the greasy, bearded man asked.

I looked at Steph, silently willing her to pick one out. _No way_ was I taking home a stuffed animal.

"Can we play one more game?" Steph asked.

I gave her a questioning look, thinking she wanted to move on already.

"There's a hamster over there. He could be Rex's buddy; otherwise, we get a freaking baby bird. No thanks."

Sure enough there was something that resembled a dark brown hamster on the far wall.

I counted out another six bucks and handed it over to the man.

Stephanie leaned over to quietly talk into my ear, as I got back into position.

"You weren't playing fair earlier." At my look of innocence, she scolded me. "I know _all_ about you, Morelli. I'm on to you." She leaned in and kissed my cheek before waving a finger at me. "And as much as I like what you said, there is no talking this round."

"Blame it on me talking all you want. I won fair and square, and I'm about to do a repeat performance."

I kissed her lips and took aim again. She was right. I'd taken the perfect opportunity to win _and_ put more of my thoughts on the table.

"That's what you think," she countered when the buzzer sounded again.

Minutes later, she gloated, "Ha! I told you I'd beat you. Now give me my hamster!"

"What are you talking about? I _let_ you win," I grumbled. She rolled her eyes, knowing full well I was lying by the smirk I couldn't wipe away.

There was no such thing as my cop face tonight—except for extreme circumstances.

The greasy man passed Stephanie her new stuffed hamster. "I'll put him outside Rex's cage, so he has someone to talk to when I'm not home."

I merely shook my head, questioning the sanity of the woman I loved. Wrapping my arm around her waist, I made sure not to lose her while we walked through the crowd again.

Stephanie suddenly blurted with excitement, "Ring toss! Oh!" She pointed to the far end of the midway. "Over there is the hammer. Don't _all_ men like to show how manly they are with that game?"

I rolled my eyes. As much as I didn't want to admit it, it _was_ indeed a rite of passage for men at the fair. You _had_ to do the hammer bell.

She led me over to the 'High Striker' hammer. From the sign, it appeared one hundred fifty was the highest you could get in points.

I had to laugh at all the younger people in line in front of us for the biggest attraction thus far. Most of the guys looked like twigs and were pumping themselves up before approaching, much like a Chihuahua does going into a fight. They stuck out their chests as if the game would cower to their—not so—massiveness.

The first couple of guys that went up barely scored one hundred. Since I probably weighed seventy pounds more than most, I sincerely hoped I could beat their scores. Usually I wouldn't let any insecurity creep in while being competitive, but with the noises and comments Stephanie was making, I'd hate to make a fool of myself. Between calling out the boys around us on their lack of muscle and the mumbling under her breath about how they weren't close to the bulk of a 'real man', she had me under pressure.

Finally my turn came. I handed yet another practically toothless carnie five bucks, and he handed me the hammer.

Turning around, I grabbed Stephanie by the waist and kissed the hell out of her. When I let go, her eyes were glazed, and she looked dazed.

"Needed my good luck kiss," I informed her before walking to the landing.

**Stephanie's POV**

Mmmm…

There was _no_ way I could let Joe go back to only showing his affection in private. It was too damned good to have to wait until the doors were closed behind us.

I watched as the best ass in Trenton—attached to the most handsome man on earth—swaggered over to the standing mat. I could tell Joe was trying his best not to look like the cocky teenagers that had been up before him.

Probably I should've felt old being at the fair, considering everyone else our age was toting a family, but somehow I felt young and at peace instead. Most importantly, I was no longer afraid of what Joe wanted to talk about. I was ready for the changes. And the way he'd been approaching the subjects—minus my earlier slip up—had put me even more at ease.

I could hear women and girls behind me snickering and making comments about Joe's decadent behind along with numerous other parts of his body.

_Too bad ladies. He was mine—all mine. _

With his sleeves rolled up, he really did look all that was man. I sighed taking in the sight of him. He was the epitome of handsome.

Yep, I'd found my very own Superman.

Joe was just getting ready to slam the hammer down when I yelled out, "Come on big boy! You can do it! Show me what you got!"

He had the hammer in midair, but with my words he stopped and looked over. A sly grin crossed his face, and I knew I was in for it. A delightful shiver ran down my spine in anticipation of what he would do to get back at me. I was sincerely hoping it would involve his mouth, but my grown up hormones kicked in as well, reminding me to take things slow.

Damn hormones!

He ended up scoring a one forty-seven.

"Not bad for an old man," I observed dryly when he passed me the gigantic fox he'd won.

"Who you callin' old man, young lady? I'll show you."

I let out a loud shriek as he picked me up a chucked me and my stuffed animals over his shoulder. I had the best view at the fair now!

"Where are you taking me?" I asked. My voice was going in highs and lows from bouncing on his shoulder as he walked.

"The dungeon! It's about time you receive your just reward for being a tease all night."

"Oh?" I tried to sound frightened, but my voice croaked with anticipation.

"Since you're excited about it," he huffed in jest, "I guess I should hold out a little longer. What do you say we take a ride?"

He placed me on the ground. When I got my bearings straight, I saw we were in line for the 'Wild Animal Carousal'. Memories from over a half a year ago when Joe broke up with me flooded my brain. As I looked at the ride before me, I heard Lula's words echoing from the lunch we'd had after my having spent days holed up in my apartment.

_"Why you so worked up about this whole breakup thing? It's not like this is your first go round on the carousal."_

_"Something is different about this breakup. It was calm."_

Maybe this would be my last 'ride' with Joe. No more circles—just a straight, permanent line.

But I still had so many fears.

There was nothing I could do about mistakes I was bound to make in the future, but what if one day Joe decided he no longer loved me? What if I wasn't really what he wanted? For the first time, I regretted some of the changes I'd made in my life. What if they'd made me into a person he didn't like or love anymore? Maybe I was too domesticated and boring for him now. Maybe I hadn't made _enough_ changes. Would I ever have the answers to all my questions?

It struck me right then that I didn't have to fear what used to be my biggest fear. Joe would never cheat. As much as our communication had sucked, I knew he would end things with me _before_ he ran off with someone else. He wasn't like Dickie—or me.

The usual guilt I felt while thinking along those lines enveloped me.

_Sigh._

Joe looked down at me with concern. "Steph? Are you feeling okay? Aren't you ready for rides?"

"No, it's not that at all."

"Okay, you want to tell me what it is then?"

I looked down at the fox and hamster and shook my head no.

Lightly cupping my chin so I couldn't look away, he stated in a soft voice, "We said we were going to talk. Something is up, and I want to know. Talk to me."

Sighing in resignation, I looked into his eyes.

"I'm scared."

He looked beyond me and back, his brow furrowed. "Of the ride?"

I shook my head again.

"Stephanie."

He said my name with such firmness I had no other choice.

"Alright, alright. I'm afraid."

I paused, waiting for him to interrupt, but he didn't. Instead, he let go of my chin and pulled me as close to him as possible. I swear he always knew what I needed. For whatever reason I could talk better when I didn't have to look into his eyes. Maybe it was my fear of rejection or being ridiculed, but it worked for me.

"If we don't work out this time, I—I just don't know if I'll be okay again. You and I don't have a good track record, and I don't think I'm not strong enough to go through it again. Last time there were days where I'm pretty sure I barely made it to the next."

I was barely audible by the time I finished, but I knew Joe had heard my every word by the hold he had on me.

"You know this time is going to be different, right Cupcake?"

I nodded. "I _know,_ and I think that's why I'm _more_ afraid than ever before. It already _is_ different. Tonight I feel the most amazing connection to you, and I'm afraid if I lose it—I'll be destroyed. I know what it's like to lose you. It hurt more than I could ever describe. I don't want to feel like that _ever_ again."

Taking a step back, he looked into my slightly watery eyes.

"You don't think I feel the same way? I still have plenty of fear, along with a healthy amount of doubt. But I _want_ to make us work. Do you?"

Seeing me nod, he went on, using my words from the car ride days before. "Then that's what it going to make the difference. I won't let you go without giving us a _real_ try. I know we can do this so long as _both_ of us give it good fight."

His breathing grew shallow and his voice husky. "I love you, Stephanie—I have forever. But I'm not going to be miserable doing it. I'd rather go without you have than have the shit storm we had before."

"You still have doubts about us working?" The dam was about to burst. I thought we'd been doing so well!

"Well, yeah. You said it yourself. We don't have the best history of sticking it out, but I _want_ us to."

"I do too. I really do."

"All I'm really saying is I'm over the chase, Steph. And I hope you're done running away from me."

"I am. I hate running."

I'd tried to lighten the mood, but had only succeeded in saddening him.

"I really am through walking away, Joe. I'm so sorry about all the pain I've caused. I just—I don't even know what I was thinking."

"That makes two of us. Come on—I believe there is a zebra calling your name."

Joe tried to make me sit on the zebra, but I wanted the two-seater safari Jeep.

"Are you enjoying yourself?" he asked, placing an errant curl behind my ear as the ride started.

"Mmm hmm—are you?"

"Of course."

Instead of keeping my feelings to myself, I decided to let him know what I was thinking.

"When my parents used to take Val and I here as kids, you know what I used to walk around imagining?"

"What's that?"

"You taking me here."

"Yeah? What did you imagine we did?" He gave me his patented wolf grin, and I popped him on the head.

"Sex fiend. Not _that_. I pictured us walking around—you winning me all kinds of prizes. Pretty much sweeping me off my feet."

"Sweeping you off your feet at the fair? Don't most girls dream of a ball or some kind of fancy schmancy shindig?"

"You mean like Cinderella? Heck no. You know that isn't me."

"So how am I doing so far—compared to your imagination?"

**Joe's POV**

"Pretty good—so far," Stephanie admitted teasingly. "I'll let you know when the night is over."

I laughed. It was comforting to have Stephanie so close and opening up more.

"A week ago today we were trying this out, and it didn't work. I'd have to say we're off to a better start."

"What were we trying out?" she asked distractedly. My fingers were slowly rubbing the base of her neck.

"Us. The dinner."

"That sucked, didn't it? Not to mention what happened after you left."

"I wouldn't have left if I'd known Alex was coming over."

"I know. It wasn't your fault."

The anger I felt toward him surged through me. It'd been growing every day since that dinner.

My tone was full of tension. "I'm still pissed you didn't call me."

Almost as if my anger transferred to her, she shot back, "After the dinner we had and the way you left, do you _really_ think I wanted to call you for a pity rescue? You were so mad, Joe. I didn't think you ever wanted to talk to me again."

"I could never be that mad at you, Cupcake." At her disbelieving look, I retracted, "Okay, maybe I could and have—but for other reasons. And it wouldn't have been out of pity."

"I never want to put you in that situation again."

"I know." Casually, I switched gears and stepped into the dreaded territory. "So—" I cleared my throat, "—that paperwork the other day. Was it _all_ for Rangeman?"

"Uh huh." Her body grew rigid beside me.

"You want to tell me about it?"

"Are you sure you want to know?"

"Absolutely," I assured her, squeezing her knee.

For the remainder of the ride, she told me all of the expectations Ranger had laid out for her, and what the contract he'd wanted her to sign entailed. I asked questions to clarify here and there, but mostly I let her take the reins.

Stepping off the merry go round, I asked, "And you're okay with all that?"

"Not everything. But the more I think about it, the schooling would be good, and it's a job I'm interested in."

From the look on her face, it was as if she was expecting me to explode at any moment. I couldn't argue with a lot of what she'd said so far. Ranger was firm with his men on his policies, and I hadn't ever recalled Steph having been forced to be true to any of them.

Deciding we'd had enough of Rangeman talk for a bit, I asked, "Where to next?"

I couldn't be sure if she was relieved or disappointed I didn't push for more information, but either way, she looked like she was going to drop the subject.

She glared as we exited the ride. "That's all you have to say?"

Guess I was wrong.

"About?"

"The Rangeman job."

"No." I pulled her to me. "I appreciate you talking about it with me. We have plenty of time to talk about it some more later."

"Oh rea—"

"Yes, patience is a virtue you know?"

"So I've been told. That doesn't mean I listen."

"No need to remind me," I muttered sardonically and ducked before I was slapped by the stuffed animal flying at me.

"You're an ass."

"And you like it. Come on—enough talking. Let's find another ride."

Both of us looked around.

"Topsy Apples?" I asked, thinking probably it wasn't a good idea in case one of us—I mean— she got sick.

"No."

"Haunted house?" Tame but fun, especially if she got scared and jumped into my arms.

"No."

"Slingshot?"

There was no way she was going to say yes. She was brave, but the crane had to be at least two hundred feet high and with all those stairs to climb. There was no—

"Oh my God! Is it a double person bungee?" She turned to me. "Will you do it with me? Pleeeaaassseee?"

I cocked one eyebrow. "How can I resist that whine?"

**Stephanie's POV**

"And I thought the walk from the car had been long."

Joe merely laughed at me. We finally made it to the top of the friggin' stairs—with me huffing and puffing—and I was happy to see no one else was stupid enough to climb them. We were next.

"Elevators were invented for a reason," I grumbled some more. "Why aren't you out of breath?"

"Because I actually _do_ cardio—not donut runs, remember?"

Rolling my eyes, I grunted, "Whatever."

A pimply faced worker approached us with a clipboard.

"Rules and regulations. Releases us of liability if anything happens. Sign here and here," he instructed while pointing. I was ready to sign, but Joe wanted to read.

When I first looked at the ride, I'd been excited, but the longer I was up there, the more reservations threatened to ruin my resolve.

"I could die. What if I die? What will happen to Rex? Or Bob? Joe! What—if—we—die?" I said in terror.

Joe looked up from the paperwork. "They do this all the time. Are you going to bail on me now, Cupcake? I've never known you to back out of something you're afraid of."

He had a faint smile on his lips, and from the way his eyes were boring into mine, he was waiting for my reaction.

He had me. There was no way I was going to back down from a challenge.

I let out an animal-like growl and began the process of strapping myself into the harness. We were standing on the ledge. I had all my Velcro and carabineers in the right spot, connected to Joe. My back was to his front.

I shook, and Joe tried to calm me down by rubbing my arms. My hands were tucked into my armpits trying to get a freaking _grip_.

My teeth chattered. "Th—this is way higher than my parent's g—garage."

"If you want, we can turn back. You don't _have_ to do this," he offered sincerely and calmly.

Jerk.

"I kn—know. I want t—to though."

"Are you sure? Are you absolutely positive?" He leaned down to kiss my shoulder.

His soft lips were enough to make me gain some control.

"Uh huh, as long as you're with me."

"Okay. On the count of three. You ready?" he asked, and I nodded. "One—two—threeeeee,"

We both did a sort of hop off the platform. Joe's arms were around my waist, as we started our decent. We dropped so fast; I had no choice but to close my eyes. It felt as though I was racing toward the ground—that if there weren't a rope tied to me, I'd end up in middle earth.

Instantly, my heart and stomach were in my throat. A scream in an octave I'd never heard before came barreling out of my throat.

The rush consumed my body. I couldn't tell if it was hours or mere seconds that went by as we fell.

Suddenly Joe's mouth was next to my ear. I could barely hear him over the rush of air around us.

"I've got you, Cupcake. Spread your wings."

Reluctantly, I let Joe take my arms and spread them as far as they could go.

"Ohhhh—myyyyy—Goddddddd!" I hollered, squinting my eyes open.

I was finally free of limits.

It didn't matter where I lived or what kind of house I lived in. Where I worked or how much money I made in a lifetime didn't matter. _Nothing_ mattered as long as I had Joseph Morelli to encourage me to spread my wings and fly.

He'd been put on this earth to help me fly, and _I_ could do the same for _him_.

Before I could take another breath, the rope met its end, and we were jerked back upward. The speed slowed, but we were still being yanked up—down—all around.

"Shit! We're going to die!" I shrieked.

"No, baby, we aren't," Joe snorted, trying to be serious. "We're alive. We made it just fine."

His voice sounded much like mine had when I'd been bouncing on his shoulder earlier in the evening. Adrenaline was coursing through my system. Finally, when we were just dangling, I erupted into a fit of giggles. Rarely do I giggle, but there was no suppressing the laughter. I could feel Joe laughing behind me, and that made me laugh even harder. If only I could see his face.

Slowly my laughter died, and we were lifted back to the platform.

And that's when reality set in.

**Joe's POV**

Removing myself from the gear, I realized Steph was being unusually quiet. Probably an adrenaline let down.

Both of us would sleep really well that night.

"What's the matter?" I asked, wiping away the tears steadily pouring down her face. "Are you okay?"

Regret came over me. _Had the ride scared her too much?_ I should never have challenged her.

"Better than o—okay," she replied shakily.

"Then why are you crying?"

She didn't reply, but suddenly wrapped her arms around my waist and buried her face in my chest.

"Stephanie? What—What's going on?" The usual panic at the sight of her tears was setting in.

Shit!

"Th—Thank you."

"For?" I asked incredulously.

_What the heck was going on?_ I couldn't see her face. All I knew was that tears and 'thank you's' didn't usually go together.

"I—I know you'll al—always be there to—to catch me when I fall."

Snuggling her to me, I breathed in her scent. "Don't ever doubt, Stephanie. I love you."

"I love you too. You'll never know how much." She sniffed and brought her head back up. "Thank you."

Lips gently caressing mine, her hands moved from my waist, inching upward until they were wrapped around my neck. I stepped closer at the same moment I forced her mouth open, practically trying to devour her in one bite. There would never be a day when I wouldn't crave her touch. I'd gone far too long without her, and any opportunity I could get, I was going to make the most of it.

We weren't kissing any longer but remained on the platform holding each other.

Enjoying the moment.

We hadn't just taken a leap on a carnival attraction. We'd taken a leap of faith into a relationship unlike anything we'd ever experienced before—with or without the other.

"Were you scared?" she asked. At my disbelieving look, she glared. "You had to have been a _little_ scared. Look at how high we are."

"Maybe a little. It was a different experience for sure," I responded appeasingly.

Probably a thought along the lines of 'stupid man' was running through her head, but I could think of plenty of situations she _had_ gotten into where I'd felt I'd die if I didn't find her safely.

"You always know," she murmured to herself.

"Hmm?" I slowly rocked us side to side to the sounds of a live band below.

"You always know what I need before I do. I may not always like it, but I'll do my best to listen. Just don't push me too hard, okay?"

We were still wrapped in each other's arms—neither of us wanting to let go of the moment.

"I'll try. I admit I need to reel in my protectiveness over you—maybe express it differently."

She snorted at my admission.

"It's hard when I care as much as I do," I added, and she nodded in acknowledgement.

"Thank you for opening your arms to me again." She placed a light kiss on my chest. "And helping me to spread my own. I really do love you."

My voice came out hoarse to my own ears. "I know. I love you too."

Her love was all I'd ever wanted—along with her safety. _Was that too much to ask?_

She yawned. "This date has been pretty much perfect."

Even though I could have stayed there all night, I finally pulled back. "Yeah? Did I sweep you off your feet?" I asked over my shoulder, heading down the steps.

"You're lucky I like you. Otherwise, I might push you down the stairs."

The scary part was I believed her.

Halfway down, I asked, "You ready to go home?"

"Going down is easier than going up at least. No, I don't want to go home yet. One more ride," she insisted, stifling another yawn. "Plus I haven't had my funnel cake. I'm not leaving until I get one either."

I shook my head. She liked anything powdered.

"Are you up for another ride? You look like you're about ready to pass out."

**Stephanie's POV**

"I'm fine."

The adrenaline let down was getting the best of me, but I just didn't want our date to end—ever.

"I chose the last ride so you can pick."

He eyed me curiously and asked, "What time is it?"

A swell of crankiness threatened to overtake me. The week was catching up to me on top of the emotional high and low of the last ride.

"I don't have a watch." _Why was he asking?_

He pulled out his phone. "Ferris Wheel. How's that for a last ride?"

"Uh, sure. Why not."

I let Joe lead the way, locking our fingers together once more.

"Fireworks start in five minutes. If we're lucky we can be on the ride."

That perked me up, so I picked up my pace.

Safely locked into the capsule and perched perfectly in the middle of the seat, we inched our way along until all the cars were filled.

My arm slid into the crook of Joe's, and my head rested on his shoulder.

"Have you had a good night, Cupcake?"

"Yes, it's been really—" I paused to think, "—wonderful."

He placed a kiss on the top of my head. "Good."

"Have you?"

"Better than I imagined."

I swung my head up. "What exactly does _that_ mean?" I ground out.

Joe knew he was in for a reaming if he didn't clarify in five—four—three—

"I didn't mean it in a _bad_ way. Look how dinner went last week. I simply didn't set my hopes too high that I wouldn't put my foot in my mouth or you wouldn't throw me off of a ride."

"The night's not over yet." I glared petulantly.

"Thank God." My head returned to his shoulder. I needed his warmth and being snuggled up to him was comforting.

We lapsed into silence as the Ferris wheel started its slow rotation.

"You know, I've always regretted giving you that ultimatum," Joe exhaled like he'd been holding his words for an eternity.

I stayed silent, but my breath caught. Peeking through my lashes, I saw him looking off into the distance, but not at anything in particular.

"Not necessarily because we called off our engagement though," he clarified.

"I'm not going to lie. That hurt," I acknowledged. "I was _so_ _mad_. At you—at myself."

His voice grew hushed. "Why?"

My mouth dropped. I lifted my head and looked at him through eye lids barely separated.

"I can't believe you're asking me that! I was justified for being mad. You gave me a fucking _ultimatum_."

"I'm not saying you weren't right. I just want to know how you felt." I could see he already regretted having brought that day up.

Remembering, silent tears dripped out of my eyes.

I held my voice steady. "I was mad because you were forcing me to choose between my job and you. You damn well know I don't like being forced into anything. Plus, you were right in some ways and that pissed me off even more. I _was_ being reckless and selfish, and I despised having that thrown in my face."

"You were right too though," he admitted. "You shouldn't marry someone who's going to pigeonhole you—then or now."

"I should've handled it better. We could have found a way to work it out. I was mad at myself for letting you walk away so easily."

"And I was mad at you for the same reason. You chose your _job_ over _me_. Do you have any idea how that felt?"

"Yes! Half the time, I feel like _you're_ doing it." My voice stumbled. "And—and to know you don't want to marry me now—"

"Why would you think that?" he fumed.

"You _just_ said 'not because we called off the engagement.' And you've never hinted you wanted that—with me—again."

"Jesus, Steph!" He used his middle and index fingers to rub circles over his temples. I was feeling the same need. "I said that because I didn't think we were ready for marriage at the time. Can you blame me? When I get married, I want to do it right—not because I've backed you into a corner."

I hadn't realized how fast my tears were coming down, until Joe started wiping them away with earnest.

Cupping my face, he looked so deep into my eyes I knew he could see my soul.

"I _never_ want you to feel like you don't have a choice—that you don't have _any_ other option."

After tonight I knew what he was saying was the truth.

Smiling, I kissed him on the lips, breathing in his scent through my nose.

"I think we've learned the value of talking. But—"

He looked concerned. "What?"

"We _are_ Italian—or at least you are. I'm only half. With our tempers—yours especially—I know there'll be plenty of knock down, drag out fights."

I thought back to what Grandma Mazur had said the day before, and I felt oddly excited. Probably I wouldn't feel that way in the heat of the moment, but after? Oh yeah.

"Wh—what? No way am I worse than you! You bring it out in me. One thing—and it sets me off."

I had to laugh, because I'd done exactly that—set him off. You could tell by his voice rising.

"Shit," he murmured to himself, becoming aware of the same thing.

We came to a slow stop when the lights to the rides shut off. We weren't at the very top of the ride but only two carts below—still high enough to get a good view of the firework display over the trees lining the park.

Joe wrapped his arm over my shoulder and squeezed me close. I scooted the rest of my body, until I was practically half on him.

"The weather is perfect," I noted, waiting for the first burst of light.

He turned to kiss my lips. "Company's better."

"I'd say we've come a long way. Wouldn't you?"

"Yeah, we're not perfect though."

I snorted. "No one is."

The show started, and we watched as blues and reds burst into the black sky followed by whites and greens repeatedly.

**Joe's POV**

"That was a good grand finale."

"Mmm hmm," Steph hummed, curling her body a little tighter to mine.

I hated what I was about to do, but it was the last piece of the puzzle.

The ride started back up.

"Have you decided if you're going to take the Rangeman job?"

Immediately, she tried to scoot away from me, but I made sure she could only go as far as my arm would reach, curling my fingers into her shoulder.

"Why do you have to be so fucking tactical all the time? You got me up her to corner me, didn't you?"

Uh oh, Cranky Steph was in the house again, and I was about to get the full effect.

The hurt I felt at her words coursed through my body, and I know it showed on my face. Time to bring out the cop in me.

Purposefully, I let my face show no emotion. "No, I thought taking you on the Ferris wheel would be a nice ending to our _date_." I couldn't help the hiss of my words. "I can see that I was wrong."

Immediately guilt shown upon Stephanie, but then just as quickly anger flashed.

"Don't give me that bullshit. You knew what you were doing before you even asked. Grrr, you frustrate the hell out of me!"

She tried to squirm away, but I held on tightly.

"Excuse the hell out of me. How many times do I have to repeat myself?" I bit out angrily. "'We're going to talk' doesn't mean shying away from things you're afraid to confront. It means talking about _everything_. And yes—Rangeman is one of those things. I barely said a word and you bit my head off. What happened to 'we've come a long way'?"

She fisted her hands into her eyes, trying to calm down.

"It's not as if this is my favorite topic," I said rather bitingly, trying to calm myself. "I can almost bet I dreaded this topic as much as you."

She let out a deep breath, and I knew I could go back to talking. She leaned forward slightly, so I moved my hand from her shoulder to her back to run random patterns over it.

"What do you want me to do, Joe? Just tell me what you want," she said loudly, then visibly calmed and turned to me. "I won't ever let Ranger come between us again. If that means not working for him, then I'll find something else."

She looked crushed. This wasn't at all how I'd intended the conversation to go.

"I want you to do what makes you happy. As long as you're _safe _doing it. That's what is key to me."

"Re—really?" She cocked her head to the side as if examining a rare artifact. "That's not what I was expecting out of you."

"Is that why you practically ate me alive?"

She looked away sheepishly.

"If you want the job with Rangeman then take it. If you want to go back to bounty hunting—" I took a deep breath, "then do it. But when your Spidey Sense kicks in—_listen to it_. You have better intuition than most people I know. Learn to trust it."

Her eyes were becoming glassy with the tears she was blinking back.

"I trust you now. I have to, otherwise there's no point of trying. I swear to God though, Stephanie, if I so much as _think _you're lying to me when I ask you about him—I will be gone in a heartbeat. I'm not going through that shit anymore."

I tried not to show how hard that had been for me to say, but it was the truth. I wasn't going to be strung along ever again.

She pushed her torso against me, throwing her arms around mine.

She lifted her head and said in a low, breathy voice, "I look forward to proving you have nothing to fear. Ranger will _never_ be a threat."

The sound of her voice was turning me on more than I thought possible. God—I'd gone so long without anything, but there was nothing like the spark I shared with her.

I swallowed and nodded.

_Need to respect her wishes. Need to be respectful until she's ready._

Leisurely, she slid her arms—one to hang over my shoulder and gently stroke my back, and the other to cup the base of my neck where she idly played with my overgrown hairline.

Usually the gestures would turn me on, but that night they had a sizzling effect over my body—like no other. I almost wanted to warn her away.

She knew the hold she had over me and slowly licked her lower lip before bringing it between her teeth.

"Christ," I whispered, staring at her mouth.

Her breathing picked up. "Are you ready to trust me fully, Joe?"

My eyes snapped to hers, and I nodded.

"Are you ready to start anew?" she continued in the same voice.

With each kiss throughout the night, I could feel the passion and love ratcheting up a notch. But when our lips fused together then, it was unlike any kiss we'd ever shared before. It was passionate and wild—yet tender and loving. It was deeper than anything I'd felt in my entire life.

Giving a little growl, I reached for her again.

"More than ready."


	18. Chapter 18

Not mine-all JE's!

Welcome back! It's been quite a while since I've posted, and for that I apologize. Time just seems to fly and before I know it, it's been weeks! I promise I've been working on this chapter pretty much the whole time. Pretty sad, huh? It took me 17 chapters to get them together and then my creativeness fell off the face of the earth. Your support keeps me going though, so I thank you very, very much!

Dearest Julie and Carol! This chapter (and the 17 prior) wouldn't be here without you either! Thank you for always helping me work through my humps and kick my butt when I need it most. Once again I must say how lucky I am to share this journey with you both. You are incredible!

* * *

Chapter 18

**Stephanie's POV **

"I knew it! I can always tell by that smile."

"We didn't!"

"Liar!"

"No, really, we didn't. I asked him to take it slow this time."

Mary Lou looked at me like I was from Saturn and cocked her head sideways. Originally having showed up at the hospital with get-well flowers and balloons for Grandma Mazur, she'd then proceeded to extract me from my plastic chair in the waiting room to grab lunch at a local Mexican restaurant. I'd tried to put up a fight, but, quite honestly, my butt had been going numb.

Now she wanted all the details of my date, and I felt like a teenager giving the juicy tidbits to my best friend. My legs still felt like jelly just thinking about the time Joe and I'd spent with each other at the fair.

"Really? _Why _in God's name would you want to take it slow with _Joe Morelli_?" she asked, completely stymied.

I shrugged, because hell if I knew at that point!

"Start from the beginning again," she ordered, trying to wrap her mind around such an inconceivable notion.

I swiped at a piece of hair hanging in my eye. "_I told you_—he brought me—"

"He brought you cake and asked for a date. You went on said date. Yeah, yeah, yeah," she muttered, waving her arms and drawing attention to us from the other patrons.

I gave her my best 'calm yourself' glare, which thankfully she took notice of right away.

"I get all that, but he brought you back to your parent's house and didn't make _any_ moves?"

"No! Duh—we were at my _parent's_ house!" I said exasperated. "I fell asleep in the car on the drive home."

"That was your first mistake," she chastised, scooping up more nachos.

"He was playing one of his classic rock stations on low, and it kind of lulled me to sleep," I offered defensively.

"No excuse!"

I finished chewing. "I think I remember him trying to wake me up when we got to the house."

"By placing kisses all over your face?"

I stopped mid-chew.

"Are you mocking me and my story?"

"Who me? _Noooo_."

"When you decide to keep quiet, I'll finish my story—again."

I got a classic Burg eye roll out of Mary Lou, while she stuffed her face with more cheese, meats and fried tortilla chips.

I immediately stuck my tongue out at her in return. "Yes, I remember shooing him away. _Hello—_I was tired_._"

I took a small bite. Having to repeat the story was kind of ruining the charm of it all.

"Apparently, he picked me up and carried me to my old room. I woke up when he was tucking me into my bed."

"And you weren't naked?"

"No! He took my shorts off."

"And?"

"Okay, fine—and my bra. Yeesh, get a grip."

"I just can't fathom you and Joe having an open opportunity to be with each other and not taking it. Last night is a historical moment—especially from how you described the fair. It's just not right!"

I shrugged. "What can I say? He said he was going to respect my wishes. He's a gentleman."

We stared at one another for two full seconds before both bursting into laughter.

Mary Lou finally breathed and wiped away a few tears that popped out. "That was rich, Steph! Oh God. Joe—a gentleman! Ha! What happened to the scourge of the Burg?"

I was holding my side, trying to take the pressure off of my lungs. "I know, I know. He may not be a gentleman, but I'll take him anyway I can."

"I'll bet," she snickered. "I'm happy for you. It's so nice to have you happy instead of mopey. You were never the emotional one—that's my job. I owe you after all I've put you through. I'll send you a cheese basket."

"You're so weird."

She looked like she was going to reply, but a ringing cell phone cut her off. We both dug through our purses for our phones.

It was mine, and the smile Mary Lou had mentioned before brightened when I checked the read out.

"Hi, detective."

There was a split second of silence before I heard, "Uh—hey, you're in a good mood."

He sounded tentative and a touch scared.

"What's the matter?"

"Nothing is the—"

"Morelli."

He blew out a long-suffering breath of air. "I have to cancel our dinner plans tonight."

I slumped a little in my chair. "Why?"

The sounds of papers rustling and drawers shutting could be heard in the background.

"Sorry, Cupcake. I'm going to try and get out early, but we're short staffed, and it's doubtful I'll be home before eleven. The Chief just gave me two new cases. He wants as much done on them while I'm here as possible."

Hope raced through me. "So, we won't be going to your mom's for dinner tomorrow?"

He chuckled. "Nice try. Yes we will; that's why I'll be working late tonight."

I scrunched my face. _Oh well, I'd take any second I could with him whenever I had the chance._ I wasn't really looking forward to returning to Philadelphia, because I had no idea how _we_ would work when we got back. Living in Trenton was familiar.

I definitely missed the familiarity.

"Have you eaten lunch yet?"

"No. The boys were talking about having the deli cater a lunch, but deli food just isn't anything to get excited about today."

"What about Mexican?"

"Mmm, you still at lunch with Mary Lou?"

"Yeah, we were just finishing up." I looked up at my lunch companion and noticed she was preoccupied with her phone. "I've had my fill of her today."

Her head whipped up to give me a glare, and I smirked.

"What do you want?"

"Anything. Thank you!" I heard a grateful exhalation. "I need to go collect some info from a few of the other guys and go get tapes from storage. Have the guy at the front desk page me."

"Okay. I'll see you shortly. Bye, Joe."

"Bye, Cupcake. Love you."

"You too."

* * *

**Joe's POV**

I came down the hall, still slightly irritated by the lack of organization going on in the department when I saw Steph talking to Tank and Ranger.

Shit!

_What to do?_

I didn't want Steph to get mad, thinking I was 'marking' her as mine, but I knew if I got close enough I'd have to touch her in some way. In the past, neither of us had showed much affection publicly, but _especially_ not in front of Ranger.

Maybe I'd tap her shoulder.

Not wanting to scare her, since I was coming up from behind, I tugged her ponytail lightly.

"Cupcake."

"Joe!" She turned and smiled, literally taking my breath away, before wrapping her arms around my waist.

Right then I knew I wouldn't regret my decision to let her work wherever she wanted—even for Rangeman.

Smacking her lips against mine, she gave me a sexy smile, which I returned. She then turned to get the to-go box she'd brought me, and I kept my arm around her waist.

"Manoso, Tank," I acknowledged the men standing in front of me.

"Morelli," they echoed.

Things were tense for a moment, while Ranger assessed my presence. Tank looked flat out uncomfortable.

"Any more leads on the truck heist?" I asked awkwardly.

"Maybe, I'm waiting for a call back."

I had nothing else to say, since the truck problem wasn't my big priority and neither was talking to Manoso.

Besides, the air was starting to get a little thick.

"Don't forget we need an answer by Friday," Tank reminded Stephanie.

When she didn't say anything, I looked down at her and questioned in a whisper, "Are you not taking the job now?"

"No, I am." She looked just as confused as I was, but still didn't make a move to speak up.

"She has her answer," I called out to the retreating backs of both men.

Steph elbowed my ribs, and I expelled a little air.

"Just get it over with now," I advised in an undertone.

Both stopped and turned around. Tank showed no emotion, but Ranger definitely gave a flash of annoyance. Pushing Steph closer with my arm, we all met in the middle.

"Babe?" Ranger asked Stephanie, yet his eyes were on me. I had a feeling her answer was going to surprise him.

Cocking an eyebrow at Ranger, I challenged him to say anything before he averted his eyes to Stephanie. She blew out a big breath and looked up at me. Bringing my arm around her shoulder, I gave it a squeeze.

"I'm not answering for you."

She unleashed an eye roll. "I know that. I just wasn't sure if you wanted to talk about it anymore," she said out of the corner of her mouth.

I scrubbed one hand over my face. _She'd always hated talking about serious things and now she wanted to?_

"Do you have any questions?" Ranger asked.

She turned to him and took another deep breath. "I'd like to take the investigating job, but—"

A look of surprise indeed flashed over Ranger's face. His eyes traveled between Stephanie and me before he could mask it.

"But?" Tank spoke what all of us were wondering.

"I'd like to go over the contract. There are a few things I'd like to change."

Steph was sounding surer of herself, and again I gave her a light squeeze.

She was going outside of her box and aiming for what she wanted. I was proud of her and would be sure to remind her later in the day of that fact when we didn't have an audience.

"_Really_?" Ranger drawled. His lips tipped up at the edge. "Anything in particular?"

"Obviously, I don't have the contract in front of me, but some of the monitoring requests and little things. I know your men don't have tracking on them unless they're in the company cars. The rest I'm pretty much fine with."

Ranger's tipped lips turned into a full blown smile. I've known him longer than Steph, and I don't think I'd ever seen him smile a 'real person' smile. From the looks of it, she hadn't either.

"Good catch, Babe. Call Tank with your changes. It's for your safety." He looked at me when he finished. "You tend to get into more trouble than all of my men combined."

Tank made some noise close to laughter and covered it with a cough. Thankfully she was standing by my side and couldn't see me holding in my laughter as well.

Steph's phone rang. "Philly number. I'm going to take this. Call me when you get off?"

"Of course."

She smiled and gave me a chaste kiss on the lips.

"Bye guys. You know where to reach me," she said while passing Ranger and Tank.

"This is Stephanie," I heard her answer before leaving through the double doors that led to the parking lot.

The three of us stood awkwardly—again.

"Let me know when you get that call," I directed to them. "I want to close this case as soon as possible. It's already lasted longer than it should have."

"Will do."

"Later," I said in departure.

* * *

**Stephanie's POV**

"Hello, Ms. Plum. My name is Samantha Chavez. I'm calling on behalf of Melinda Kruger."

"Okay. Melinda _who_?"

I racked my brain, trying to remember to whom she was referring, while looking for the keys to Big Blue in my purse. Nothing came to me.

"Melinda Kruger, Macy's East Coast HR rep," she stated with an air of sophistication that made me want to do harm to her.

"Oh! Hi Samantha. How can I help you?" My effort at a nice voice sounded strangled.

"I've called to inform you of the HR meeting regarding your case number 37-9268, scheduled for Monday at ten a.m."

Not only was she annoying me with a tone that mirrored what I remembered Melinda's as having been, I was alarmed. Macy's hadn't called me back to work. They were calling for a meeting.

"Am I needed at this meeting?" I asked cautiously.

"Yes, your attendance is required."

"Monday at ten, correct?"

"Yes."

"I'll be there."

"Right, have a nice day, Ms. Plum."

Before I could give her a 'you too', she'd hung up.

"Okaaaay," I said to no one but myself.

Rummaging around for my keys, my head perked up when my ears caught the all too familiar sound of bass and treble followed by screeching tires. Nothing else on this earth made the same noise but one known as Lula.

Standing in the middle of the parking lot, I decided if I wanted to live to see her, I should step off to the side. Sure enough, a red Firebird flew by, honking its horn and wafting fried chicken smells in my direction.

"If it ain't my favorite white girl."

Lula came bustling over, somehow managing a fast pace on her knock-off, Manolo, cheetah- print, wedge heels.

"Connie isn't your favorite?"

"No way, unless she's writing me checks. You are. Absence makes the heart grow fonder and all that shit. Whatcha doin' here? You aren't working for another bonds company, are you?"

"What? Why would I—"

My words died as she scanned the parking lot. Her eyes grew wide when she spotted something of interest before looking back at me. Turning, I saw nothing but a bunch of parked cars.

"You here with Batman, huh? Finally decided to move on to the greener pastures?"

_Where would she have gotten that idea?_ Suddenly, it dawned on me.

Black Porsche at twelve o'clock.

"You've got the greener pastures thing right, but it isn't with _Ranger_. I was here to see _Joe_."

"No way, girlfriend. Officer _Sink Your Teeth Into My Buns_ is great and all, but I don't know if his pasture's all that green. You still trying to rope him in? When are you—"

"You're wrong. And enough with the pastures crap. How are you?"

"_Hunh_, his pasture can't be _that_ green if you're in this mood." She scowled, looking like a mad pig. "I'm dropping off this lowly thief and then heading over to get my dress fitted."

She slid her hands down her hips. "When are you trying on your dress anyway? I know you said you was busy and all, but the wedding is in two weeks, and you're here. Can't be _that_ busy!"

I'd feared this was coming. "You said you picked out the dress and ordered my size. I'm sure it will fit fine."

"No! You need to have it trimmed. Girl—your weight been fluctuating. I need to make sure you look good—not as good as me—but still good. The usual. You know you can't outshine Lula."

"Fine! Can we ride together? Afterward, I need to get back to the hospital."

"Dresses, lunch and then back to your car? I'd come see your Grandma but hospitals are too close to funeral homes, ya know?"

"I've already eaten lunch, but I'll go with you since you hate eating alone." As much as I was trying to fight it, my curiosity was getting the better of me. Even though I had a feeling I would regret it, I needed to see this dress.

I spent the entire way to the bridal shop second-guessing myself. Was it a good or bad thing to see the dress before the wedding? Two weeks was a really long time to stress over a dress. Then again, I'd get to see Lula's dress. The Jersey girl in me—the one I warred with on a regular basis—thought it'd be fun.

When Lula had been momentarily engaged to Tank, she'd leaned toward the traditional—by Lula's standards. I could only hope that was the case this time for both of our dresses.

Taking my mind off what was ahead of me, I asked, "Tell me about your soon-to-be groom. What's he like? How'd you meet?"

Her eyes went a little buggy, but she quickly masked the expression.

"His name is Franklin James." She shivered, which creeped me out, "And mmmm…he is delicious in _every_ way. We can go to dinner tomorrow night. Bring your man."

"I have dinner at the Morelli's tomorrow," I replied, only halfway sad. The way she'd shivered while talking about Franklin I wasn't so sure I'd like to meet them in public—or private.

"Am I the only one standing up there with you guys?"

Ignoring me, she fought to get a front row parking space at Chanel's Couture Coverings, only that wasn't where we went. We opened the door to Chanel's neighbor—Ling Lau's.

"I had your dress custom made. You don't have to pay me for the masterpiece on account of I designed it for my wedding and all."

Right then I knew I wanted nothing to do with this wedding. I loved Lula, but my love only went so far. Burned into my brain were her super spandex and feather ensembles from her time with Sally Sweet and the Lovelies. The memory had me shivering involuntarily.

_Jesus. What had I gotten myself into this time?_

We opened the door and different fabrics in every shade possible immediately surrounded me. The shop wasn't much bigger than your average convenience store and was nearly stuffed to the brim. Neon was most prominent, and my eyes almost hurt from looking too long at the brightness. There were browns and blues in every stain. Sherwin Williams didn't have this kind of selection.

"Oh! Lula! You here to fit?" A little Asian lady that couldn't have been taller than four foot two, wearing the thickest glasses I'd ever seen, came out with her measuring tape and tomato shaped pincushion.

"Yeah, and I brought my Bride's Best Maid of Honor. She ain't seen what I picked. I figure we could make it a surprise. Give her a mask."

_Oh crap!_

"Yes, yes," the lady I assumed to be Ling nodded with enthusiasm.

"It can be a surprise without the mask."

"No," Lula said adamantly. "I want to be the first person to see your reaction. Girlie—you gunna love it. I have _excellent_ taste. Let's do her first."

"Come," Ling motioned toward the back of the little shop where there was a standing platform surrounded my mirrors.

I looked around to see if there was a hint as to what I might be wearing, but it was no use. Every bag I saw was black—not clear like most—and they gave away nothing.

In a little room decorated with bright orange wallpaper, I undressed slowly, mentally bracing myself for what was about to happen.

_Just go with the flow. This is Lula's important day. You can do it._

I rolled my eyes. _When had my personal talks ever helped me?_

Stepping out into the room with the platform in a tightly tied robe, Ling secured a black scrap of fabric around my eyes before hustling away to grab my dress.

"This is gunna be the best. I know you're going to wear this dress over and over. It is the shit!"

I could picture Lula doing a happy clap with every word she spoke. Her excitement made me even more scared.

_Don't scream—yelp—or react. Maybe I just wouldn't open my eyes!_

"Okay, take robe off."

"What?"

"We can't fit dress over robe. Now take off." Ling demanded.

I couldn't see her, but she sounded scary—all four feet of her. Doing as she said, I was left with a cold breeze. Good thing I'd decided on nice, lacy undies today instead of the cotton stuff I usually wore.

"It ain't that cold in here," Lula observed. "I hate to see what your nips look like when Hot Stuff gets you excited, 'cause I know from that shit ass look on your face you aren't excited right now."

"Jesus, Lula. What they look like is none of your business," I groused with a clenched jaw, "Shut up."

"Ohhhh, that looks better than I remember."

Soft fabric slid over my head and glided down my body. From the feel, it was well made, possibly silk, but I had a suspicion it was more synthetic to save on the cost. Maybe I'd squint through one eye just to confirm whether I was right or not.

_Ling and Lula wouldn't destroy a decent fabric by making it into a horrible creation, right? _

"Need trim here." Ling pinched the fabric, securing it with pins in several place.

"Wheeeew! Officer Hottie _is_ comin' to the wedding, right? That dress can_not_ go to waste. He isn't gunna know what to do with hisself when he sees you."

I wasn't so sure. Even Joe had his limits.

"Yeah? Does it look alright?"

"Ling, are you finished yet? I need to see her face when you take that thing off." Lula talked as if I didn't exist.

Finally the black fabric was removed from my eyes, and immediately my lip sucked between my teeth to squelch the scream strangling my throat.

Oh—My—God!

I stood there, arms hanging limply at my sides and knees ready to buckle.

The monstrosity I found myself in was worse than anything I could've ever imagined.

The metallic golden yellow had already turned my pale, half-Hungarian flesh to a sickly green pallor. A crisscrossed halter, totally backless, peek-a-boobs bodice ended just above my navel. The Lula-approved, silky but shoddy material clung to my body—so much so that what little fabric covered a smidgen of my breasts featured my clearly petrified and pointy nipples.

And that was only the top half!

The bottom was slit wide open, exposing my legs thigh high, with a lovely alternating zebra print ruffle and a matching animal print, hip-hugging waistline. The best part was the arrow-shaped patch of zebra resting directly over my doodah!

_Can you say Jungle Streetwalker?_

Lula jumped and squealed; sounding as if the animal print I wore was being eaten alive. I yelped, completely taken by surprise and unable to voice a word.

"Holy shit, girlie! That dress is a-ma-zing. I couldn't have designed it better myself." She turned and looked at Ling. "Oh wait—I did!"

She circled me, examining every inch of fabric and skin exposed to her assessing eyes. I felt like a zebra out on the Sahara waiting to be attacked by Lula the Lioness.

"You love it! I can tell by your face. I can read people real good."

Mouth wide open and waiting for flies, I nodded. That feeling you get when your body is so overloaded on shock it starts progressing to numbness is where I was. I tried my best to keep from swaying.

_How could I have expected anything less from Lula?_ The dress was completely her—but on my body.

I remembered Val's bridesmaid dress. When she and Albert had eloped, I'd been all too thankful. Now I would give _anything_ to wear that dress to Lula's wedding. One thing was for certain, after the reception, I was burning the damned thing.

"Ye—yeah, I really lo—love it," I answered dazedly. "I should probably take it off now though. Uh—I don't want to ruin it."

My head was nodding so fast I must've looked like a crack head.

"It's my turn! Lula is ready!"

_Thank God!_

I got dressed into my very plain street clothes and breathed a sigh of relief. I was me again!

Before my eyes, Lula started stripping until she was completely bare in front me.

It was a train wreck. I just couldn't look away.

"They make bras in _your_ size in colors other than black and white?" I couldn't help asking when I saw her removing the brightest, rainbow-laced bra I'd ever seen.

Hunh—who would've thought it?

"You need to get out more," she scoffed, while Ling busily tucked in the tops of Lula's breasts so she could fit in the bodice. "Haven't you been to Fredrick's of Hollywood? They have every size there."

"Isn't that the trashy version of Victoria's Secret?"

My eyes were glued to Lula's dress. You couldn't have paid me enough to wear what she was putting on, but oddly enough it fit her body and personality. Tightly.

"No, it's a _better_ version of Victoria's. That place where you shop lies. How could you shop there? Bet you wear a C in their bras, don't ya—when everywhere else you's a B."

I glared at her. How did she know? She certainly didn't have a C cup. You could quadruple a C and still not have Lula's size.

Ling grabbed onto a chunk of poor Lula, and I grimaced. It looked painful.

"You need lose weigh'! I tell you before but you no listen! Two weeks! I can no make fabric appear! Lose here! Chop, chop!"

Ling's voice had me cowering. She would've made an excellent schoolyard teacher.

Not Lula though. She came back at Ling with, "You Asians don't know nothin'! You're all skin and bones. You eat veggies and rice and fish! Huh-uh! Not me—I don't want Frankie doodle dandy to have second thoughts. He don't like petite women, and that's a good thing, 'cause that ain't how I'm built."

Ling looked at me, and I shrunk backward. Draping her tape across her back, she gathered her tailoring supplies, mumbling something about stupid Americans.

I was _so_ not getting into the middle of this match! What Ling lacked in weight against Lula she more than made up for in lightning speed. I'd either be karate chopped or squished.

My phone vibrated, and I quickly glanced at it while Ling tinkered with the dress.

_Don't forget Tank has your books. Call him._

Replying with a quick 'thanks' to Ranger, I set an alarm not to forget.

Lula broke my concentration with her blubbering.

I rushed over to her side. "Are you okay? What's the matter with you? Do you not like your dress?"

"No—No, I love it. I look so—so pretty."

She did. Somehow she had pulled it off.

The top to Lula's large dress was a classic white, halter sequined bodice that—uh— accentuated her assets well. The white made her ebony skin glow.

The bottom was pure Lula. I hated to think of how much tulle was underneath it all, because it was wider than Cinderella's ball gown. There was a layer of giraffe, followed by tiger and zebra and then cheetah, with the pattern repeating itself all the way down her six- foot train.

"You do. You look really pretty, Lula," I offered with sincerity.

She sniffled a little more. "I know."

"So you told me about Franklin, but what about the wedding itself."

I was trying to take her mind off of her _beauty_, but then I really got to thinking.

"Where is it? I need to know where to show up. And I need to tell Joe. When do I get to meet the lucky groom, and who's in the rest of the bridal party?" I was starting to panic about details, and it wasn't even my wedding.

"You talkin' about the people standing up with you?"

Lula started shifting uncomfortably. She'd never last through a wedding and a reception in her giant dress.

"Yes, that's who I'm talking about."

"Connie is with you—the less important one, but still important. And uh—the groom people—they—uh—they're not important."

She began to sweat talking about the groomsmen, so I had to ask, "Are his friends scary? Do you guys not get along? What's the matter with you?"

"Kinda."

Her sudden shift in attitude was odd. Lula didn't back down from much, as evidenced by her attitude with Ling. This change was starting to annoy me.

"Kinda _what_?"

"Uh—what was the question?"

"Why are you being—freaky? Who is it? Do I know him? Are there more than one since you have Connie and me?"

The whites of her eyes were glowing, so I stood back and put my hands on my hips.

"Who are they?" I demanded

"No—no one important," she stammered.

Like hell he wasn't—or they.

"Are they cops? Doctors? Pimps? What else do you get gas over?"

"N—no—nothin' like that. Probably they're more people that _you_ might not like."

"Unlike you, there isn't a type of person I don't like. Wait—are they felons?" I gasped. "Oh my God, are they past FTA's of mine? Norville? Don't even freaking tell me it's Briggs? Jeez!"

I was working myself into a state thinking about my past problem people. My hands were in the air and apparently I was scarier than Ling, because Lula cowered from me, refusing to even respond, which had me even more worried.

"Lula!" I looked around to see if there was anything to smack her with when I spotted scissors. "I'll cut your dress if you don't tell me who I have to walk arm in arm with! How the hell am I supposed to walk with my arm in Randy Brigg's—on my knees? That is _so_ not happening!" I threatened, moving closer.

"Jesus, Philly made you into a hellion!" she cried in a voice I'd never heard. It was several octaves higher than when we'd run and scream when presented with shotguns. "Why weren't you like this when we were huntin' skips or when all those mad men were after you?" She waved her arms and her boobs shifted out of the dress.

"Maybe you want to synch her up tighter next time. I almost lost an eye," I informed Ling tartly.

When Lula calmed down, I set down my weapon, figuring her nipple probably had longer range than my arm.

"Get me out of the dress before she ruins it! Don't you dare come near me!" she shrieked.

Once Lula was dressed I started in again. "You're going to tell me. Or else—or else I'm going to sing the itsy bitsy spider all afternoon until you drop me off at the hospital."

It was better than violence since only in rare circumstances would I to resort to that. Besides, singing would be more than enough to drive us both crazy.

"I'm skippin' lunch. I'm not hungry."

Ling nodded goodbye to me and told Lula as we headed out the door, "You skip for rest of year! Use less fabric next time!"

"You're not getting away with not telling me. I won't remove myself from your car until you confess. _Please_ tell me it isn't Melvin," I pleaded.

"It's complicated."

Damn it, now she'd set off my eye twitch. In fact, a possible _double _eye twitch was coming on, and it wasn't going to be pretty.

How I felt right now was exactly the same frustration Lula had experienced when I hadn't talked about the personal stuff she'd wanted me to. But I was going for extreme. With Lula you had to. Instead of going defiant and not talking, I'd do the opposite.

I'd show her.

I started to sing when we were buckled into the Firebird.

"The itsy bitsy spider climbed up the water spout—" My voice was so shrilly it sent painful vibrations through my ears and down my own back.

"Down came the rain and washed the spider out—"

Lula began to make 'la la la la' noises next to me, so I turned my voice up a notch. I probably wouldn't have a voice tomorrow.

"Out came the sun, and dried up all the raaaaaaaaiin—"

The radio was turned on, and I coughed when my throat went dry. Swiftly hitting the power button, I kept my finger close by.

"The itssssssy bitsssssy spider climbed up the spout againnnnnn."

Lula let out a sigh of relief when my song was finally over. Little did she know I was looking in my purse for something to help my throat before round two.

_Ah-ha! _

A Luden's Wild Cherry throat lozenge—just what I needed. I used them more as candy then a cough drop but whatever. Popping that baby into my mouth, I went for the gusto!

"Thhhhhhhhhhheeeeeeeeeee iiiiittttttttttttttttsssssss ssssssssssssyyyyyyyyyyyyyy—"

The car swerved to the right, and we hit what I assumed was a curb before coming to a screeching halt. I crossed my arms over my chest.

"Are you going to tell me now?" I asked, staring straight ahead.

"Itsrangerandtank."

I cocked an eyebrow at her. "Huh? Excuse me? Who did you just say?"

_No way!_

"RangerandTank."

I slapped her hand away from her mouth.

"You didn't say Ranger and Tank did you? I mean who is—what's his name? Franklin? Who is he? And _Tank_? He's your _ex_."

"I knew you was gunna have this reaction. That's why I didn't want to say nothin'. You think I don't know any of that? He's friends with them. Best friends. And Tankie—I mean Tank—is fine with it obviously, since he said he'd be a man up there."

"WHAT?" I cried. "Which one am I walking with? Never mind—it doesn't even matter! Joe's going to throw a _fit_ if I'm walking down the aisle with either of them."

"Calm your ass down! It's no big deal. Hot ass will be fine with it."

"How the hell do you know?"

I was on the verge of hyperventilating. Joe could maybe pull off the whole magnanimous personality, but even if _he_ wasn't uncomfortable with me walking down the aisle with Ranger—_I_ sure was!

"Why didn't you tell me this sooner, Lula?"

"You're with him, aren't ya? He'll know Ranger don't mean nothing to you. It's not like you asked to walk with him. Shit! Chet's our Reverend."

"Chet? Who the hell is he, and what does he have to do with anything?"

Lula rolled her eyes. "Chet works for Rangeman too. It's gunna be like a Rangeman company party. He got his certificate online and everything."

"Whoa. That's—that's kind of weird."

"_Huhn_."

"I mean that in a good way." _Uh—no!_

I breathed in and out deeply. I could handle Joe. Everything would be okay. Maybe I'd give up my 'taking it slow' idea to soften him up.

_Who was I kidding?_ I was looking for any excuse to take back what I'd propositioned.

"You done going crazy on me? I knew you'd go nutso, but I didn't think it'd be this bad. You scared me."

Lord help me, I _had _gone a little over the edge, but my mouth couldn't seem to form an apology.

"I ain't skippin' lunch. All that frightening you did got my stomach rumbling."

"How did you meet again— at the bond office? How do the _guys_ know each other?" I needed as much information that I could get—both to feed my curiosity and for when I presented this little hurdle to Joe.

"Let's go through the drive thru, and I'll tell you."

Twenty minutes later, I was contently drinking a strawberry shake, while Lula stuffed her face with fries and a greasy McDonald's burger, thinking what a small of a world we lived in.

If she hadn't met Franklin at the bond office, how had she happened to start dating a man that was a friend—best friend—to two men who barely knew what socializing and making friends was all about?

"Let me just say first your biggest job on my wedding day is to drool check me at all times. I know Franklin will be looking awfully fine and all, but Ranger and Tank will be wearing a suit that matches your dress. There is going to be some _stiff_ competition on the hotness scale."

I choked.

_Jesus! _

"Does Ranger know what he's going to be wearing? Where is his zebra?"

"No! And you can't tell him or Tank. Got it?" She pointed a fry at me that I snatched and ate. "They're pants and jackets are the same gold material as your dress, and their vests and ties are zebra."

Omigod—this wasn't going to be so bad. Joe would laugh his butt off when I told him.

"How do all the men in black know him?" I stole another fry, trying not to laugh.

"He works at Rangeman now, but they were in the military together. Frankie was in longer than Tank and Ranger, so when he got out Ranger hired him. You know he only has the best in Trenton, so he came here."

"If you didn't meet him through Rangeman, how _did you_ meet?" I shifted in time to watch her face go from annoyance with my questioning to reflective and affectionate.

I couldn't be sure, but I was beginning to think she actually loved this guy, and that it wasn't just sex.

Good for her.

"Duh! Fate! I was going to meet up with Shandra—one of the girls from my old profession. It was at Global, a new club in Newark. It was a pimp and ho opening theme, and since I have all the proper attire why would I turn down a chance to hang out with one of my girls? We was at the bar waiting our turn when I looked over and saw the most handsome man ever."

I was definitely intrigued.

"He was wearing a high end, silver velour pant suit with a black satin undershirt. He had in a gold tooth chip that I couldn't look away from when he smiled at me."

Ew.

"I ditched Shandra and went home with Frankie Poo, and the rest is history. It's only been a few weeks, but this is _it_ girlfriend. Sometimes you just know in your gut, ya know?"

"Yep." I said knowingly, ignoring her nickname for her intended.

At least Lula was smart enough to go for it when she felt something was right instead of running like me.

* * *

**Joe's POV**

"Nice seeing you again, Mrs. Plum. Frank."

An impatient Steph practically pushed me out the door of the Plum household.

"Be good you two." Helen patted my shoulder, and I could feel Steph's eye roll from the glare her mother shot her way.

"Yes, Mother. I'll see you later."

"You'll be home in time to see your grandmother tomorrow before you leave, won't you?"

"I'll make sure she's home tonight." I got a bit of a surprised look from both elder Plums. "And I'll be there to say good-bye too."

Since we wouldn't be in town for Edna's release from the hospital next week, I'd volunteered to help get everything ready for her return. We'd moved boxes earlier that evening into Steph's old room, making it easier for Edna to get around.

Steph practically pulled me down the walkway.

"Look, when we get ready separately, we actually make it to your mom's house on time," she joked.

"Don't expect it to become a habit," I retorted.

We made record time to my mother's house, but then seemed to drag our heels actually going into the house.

"Thank you for all of your help today. Mom was around, so I haven't been able to give you a proper thank you." She leaned over the console and gave me a kiss to show her appreciation.

Anytime we'd been close while shuffling things around and organizing both rooms, we'd made some sort of contact. It'd left me craving so much more.

God, she was going to be the death of me, and I groaned when she pulled away. I could see my mom and Bella waiting for us at the screen door. Good thing the windows on my car were lightly tinted. Even 'The Eye' couldn't see through them.

Upon seeing them, Stephanie squirmed in her seat.

"They're judging me already. I can feel it. I know I'm going to get the eye. Last time I saw Bella, she said I was a good girl, but you know how she changes her mind. Do they know I'm coming with you? What did Bella say? What about your mom? I know she hates me. She must, considering I'm the reason you moved away and everything."

I quieted her babbling with another thorough kiss.

"Thanks—I needed that." Her breath was a bit shaky, as was mine.

"My mother likes you. I've told you that. She doesn't know all the details about why we broke up, so it's doubtful she changed her mind. As for Bella—who cares. You know she just likes to get under your skin. You're an easy target for her."

"How do you know?" she demanded.

"You're easier to read than you think. Now let's get up there before they accuse us of doing more than kiss. Not that I would mind." I grumbled to myself.

"Good idea. Mrs. Burowitz is looking through her blinds. She'll be on the phone before we make it to the door."

I met Steph at the other side of my car and grabbed for her hand, hoping the two Morelli women would see we were a united front. Steph smiled up at me and began to swing our hands up the walk.

"Mom, Bella." I leaned in and kissed both ladies on the cheek.

Bella stared at our conjoined hands before speaking.

"Joseph. Stephanie. I see you together now?"

Before I could respond my mother started fussing.

"Stephanie, it's so nice to have you in our home again. Come in. I have antipasto out but dinner is ready as well. Joseph, you look better than last time I saw you. Are you eating better?"

Bella answered for me with a mixture of perceptiveness and annoyance I ignored. "He's eating same takeout phooey. He look better, because he's in love."

"Well, I won't complain about that." Ma looked fondly at Stephanie whose blush was getting redder by the second.

I gave Steph a kiss on the cheek and led her into the dining room.

Aunt Silvia and Uncle Benny from my mother's side were there, as well as one of the last old Morelli men—Uncle Tommy. Already, I knew there was going to be a damper on my night, for he was tanked. Uncle Tommy lived about forty minutes from the Burg, and when he drank too much he stunk—horribly. There was no way Silvia would be letting him in her car.

Which meant I'd be the designated driver tonight for Tommy.

No make out sessions with my girl.

_Sigh._

Just as well—since we'd started the whole on-off relationship, we'd never waited this long to be intimate.

And my body never failed to remind me.

We all sat down when Mom brought in the first two serving plates. She always went overboard when company was over. It was the mix of Italian and Burg in her.

"I told you it was going to be a small gathering," I whispered to Stephanie.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah."

"Stephanie, you help us bring in food," Bella called.

At the sight of her panicked face, I scooted my chair back. "I'll help."

"No!" Bella halfway yelled, causing me to sink back into my chair. "Stephanie, now!"

"If I'm not back in five minutes, please rescue me," she murmured.

I gave her a kiss next to her ear before she got up.

Less than a minute later, she was back with two more platters. Most likely she had sidestepped whatever Bella was planning and had gone into the kitchen, grabbed the nearest platters and left.

Much to her dismay, she was called back into the kitchen.

"Excuse me; I'll be right back," I said to the rest of the table.

One check of my watch had me on my feet. Steph's five minutes were up, and I was only too happy to leave Tommy, who was slurring through how well his kid was doing at an auto body shop. He wasn't talking about how good of a job he was doing painting or fixing dents, but rather how he'd yet to be investigated by the after business hours work he did.

Sometimes being in my family and being a cop was a real conflict.

Thankfully, most family members were smart enough not to talk to me about their business dealings—until they drank.

Slowly pushing open the door to the kitchen, I tried to eavesdrop on the conversation. Hearing nothing, I opened the door all the way.

"What're you ladies up to in here?" I asked.

Stephanie had her back against the counter, arms crossed, fighting a scowl and trying to look neutral. Mom was finishing up the salad, and Bella was hunched over something to Steph's left, but facing the counter.

"Just finishing up dinner." Mom turned and patted my cheek. I felt like I was seven again every time she did that, yet it was comforting at the same time.

"Bella's writing out all of your favorite recipes," Stephanie offered through a clenched jaw.

I rolled my eyes at her false enthusiasm.

"She's changed. Safe time to give family recipes," Bella pronounced.

Moving in front of Steph, I backed her even further into the counter and nuzzled her neck. "Oh yeah? Has she?"

"Joseph!" both women exclaimed, while Stephanie tried to push me away.

Apparently PDA stopped in front of parental figures. I wasn't about to move though.

"You're such a Morelli," my mother stated, bumping into me as she walked the salad into the dining room.

"Only when you make me babies is when you act like that. Come now, help with the food," Bella agreed, following my mother.

"I'm not going to be able to last much longer," I whispered into Steph's ear, blowing softly afterward.

A sigh came from her. I hoped with everything in me it meant she felt the same.

"Is that a challenge?" she wondered, placing soft kisses along my jaw. It was unfortunate the kitchen door was a swinging one. I could've really used a lock about then.

She was _such_ trouble. And I wanted just her kind.

Dinner was without any major events. There was minimal yelling from the older ladies, and Stephanie survived Benny's teasing.

We left with a giant sack of leftovers. As I said my goodbyes, I made sure Uncle Benny knew to leave Steph alone. A passed out Tommy was locked in the backseat, and then I helped Steph into hers.

When I dropped her off, I didn't let her forget I was going to work my hardest at getting her to unlock that chastity belt she'd figuratively put on. I just might've heard the first click on the lock come through that night.

I like to think I'm an honorable kind of guy, but taking things slow with her was proving to be the hardest thing I'd ever done—even harder than walking away from her had been. But sex was what had gotten us into trouble before, so there was good reasoning behind her decision.

God, but it'd been three days already, and we'd been broken up and without partners for _how long_?

_Too fucking long._

* * *

**Stephanie's POV**

"Rex is all set, there are no bad guys and your luggage is in your room. Anything else you need from me?" Joe asked, wrapping his arms around me from behind while I washed my hands in the kitchen sink.

_Yes—I need you not to leave!_

We were back in Philly. Joe had picked me up from my mom's house a few hours ago. Our start on the road had been later than we'd anticipated, because the Trenton team had received another tip on a truck set to be robbed next week. Which in turn meant he would have to meet with the Philadelphia team in less than an hour.

Joe had asked me no fewer than forty times if I wanted him to come back over after the meeting, but the lines around his eyes showed just how tired he was already. His night wasn't nearly over, so I'd declined.

There were many reasons I didn't want him to go back to his apartment. As selfish as it was, the biggest reason was because I just didn't feel safe any longer in mine, especially since we hadn't heard if Alex had been rearrested or not. All of Joe's calls to Detective Stewart had been unreturned, and he was still waiting to hear back from the higher ups.

I turned and kissed his lips. "No, I think I'm all good for now. Are you taking tomorrow off, or are you back to work?"

"I have to meet with the guys. Conference call starts in—fifty two minutes. I'll see how tonight goes before I make plans."

"Do you get anything done in these meetings? I don't mean to question what you're doing, but the tip seemed pretty vague."

Joe backed up and rubbed his forehead hard. "No—just more strategizing. Half the time I wonder if we'll ever solve this stupid case. How are fucking criminals smarter than us? It's ridiculous."

I stepped closer and slid my hands up and down his arms.

"You'll solve it. Things take time. You know it—I know it."

He snorted. "When did you acquire patience?"

"Probably the day I said I wanted to take it slow."

"What a coincidence. That's the same day I lost mine. I will never understand you, Cupcake."

"Nope. But you don't sound too disappointed."

"Life is never boring that way."

He leaned down and caressed my lips with his. I was on fire in a hot second.

Damn him for challenging me at his mom's house! If he hadn't, I probably would've dragged him upstairs and made him do all my favorite things—right after I did his. After all, he'd put up with me over the years. He definitely deserved to go first.

If I could resist his charms for another few days, however, I knew I'd be capable of conquering _anything_.

Solving third world hunger issues would be easier.

For certain there was no way I could put him off for much longer.

"You—you should go. You have a lot to do tonight and tomorrow." Catching my breath, I tried to push him away.

He heaved a big sigh and looked at me with regret.

"You're right. Your car should be dropped off early tomorrow morning. I let them know already you're back in town."

"Thank you. How is it you always have a good mechanic?"

"It's a man thing probably."

We were standing at his car, and I hated how exposed I felt out in the open.

"You sure you're going to be okay by yourself?" Joe asked for the millionth time.

"Rex and Bob will protect me. I have my stun gun and my cell phone fully charged. I'll call you if I need anything."

"Promise?"

"Promise. Pinky swear. Uh—cross my heart, hope to die, stick a needle in my eye."

"You're such a dope," he said in jest, and I hugged him once more.

"_Your_ dope," I corrected, kissing his nose.

"Don't you forget it either."

"I won't. Love you."

"Love you too, Stephanie. I'll check in with you as soon as I get settled."

He reminded Bob to take care of me, and I closed his car door after giving and getting a _fantastic_ kiss. His kissing talents could be legendary—possibly already were—because of his wild oats days.

Thoughts of how much he'd changed over the years followed me into the evening. After dinner, I did some laundry, eventually finding my way to the couch to mentally make fun of one of the many reality shows on cable.

"Idiots! They give Jersey an even worse name!" I shouted at the television.

The ding of the doorbell had me out of my seat in an instant.

_Shit! _

It had turned dark, and I hadn't put the front lights on.

I nudged Bob awake with my foot, maybe a little rougher than necessary. Grabbing my cell and my stun gun off the coffee table, I crept over to the door.

I tried looking out of peephole, but the street was dark, as was my front step.

"Who's there?" I called.


	19. Chapter 19

Not mine-JE owns all.

Happy Holidays! Wow! 2012 is almost gone-where did this year go? I want to let you know I have so appreciated your time and support with this story.I am thankful for you all! Here's to another wonderful and blessed year!

2012 was a pretty big year for me overall, but one of the best parts of this year was connecting with Carol and Julie! Was it only this year? You two have brought so much joy and fun to my life! By now you _better_ know how much you mean to me! Thank you for everything you do. Everyone should be so lucky to have friends like you both.

Enjoy! Everyone have a safe and happy New Year!

* * *

Chapter 19

**Stephanie's POV**

_The ding of the doorbell had me out of my seat in an instant._

_Shit! _

_It had turned dark, and I hadn't put the front lights on. _

_Nudging Bob awake with my foot a little rougher than necessary perhaps, I grabbed my cell and my stun gun off the coffee table and crept over to the door._

_I tried looking out of peephole, but the street was dark, as was my front step._

"_Who's there?" I called._

My fingers fumbled with my phone, leery of who was on my doorstep this late at night.

I was ready to hit the send key to dial Joe's number at any moment.

My hands trembled more as I got closer.

_Why hadn't I turned on the lights?_

Flashes of the night Alex had shown up this late circulated through my mind.

_Oh God, please don't let it be him._

Glancing down at my stun gun to make sure the green 'on' light was lit, I prayed to God the darn thing was charged and wouldn't have some sort of malfunction as a few had in the past.

Jesus, I could feel every vein in my body pulsing with nerves. The sound was drowning out the television.

I reached the door and swallowed the lump in my throat, trying to calm myself.

"Wh—Who's there?" I called once more.

* * *

**Joe's POV**

"It's me. I have food. It's windy. Open up."

The door swung wide, exposing an angry Stephanie.

_Shit! I was in trouble._

Her glare said it all.

"Nice to see you too." Kissing her on the cheek as I strode by with pizza, I acted as if hadn't noticed her fierce look.

"Do you have any idea how scared I was? I practically had a heart attack! And poor Bob might have a broken rib from how hard I kicked him."

"Sorry," I called behind me, since she was still at the door.

And I meant it. I was struggling with showing her how I_ did_ know she was scared but not acting upon it. Stephanie was a strong-minded woman. She hated coming across as vulnerable, and yet it was almost as if she wanted me to see her fear this time. This depth of emotional honesty was still so new for us, and I didn't quite know my role yet. The parameters of our relationship were quickly changing for the better.

Unfortunately, I was having a hard time keeping up.

Taking plates out of the cupboard, I set everything down on the island.

"You could have called."

"I know, and I was going to but—"

"But nothing, Joe!" Her hands were on her hips, and I was still getting a squinty-eyed glower. "Calling isn't such a hard task, is it?"

"Would you let me finish my sentence?"

She nodded reluctantly.

"I said I was sorry, and I mean it. I called in the pizza right before I left the station. When I went to call you, my phone was dead, so I came right over. I'm sorry if I scared you."

The minor adrenaline rush she'd had earlier was beginning to subside. When I figured it was safe to approach, I did.

Cautiously.

Slipping the stun gun out of her hand and placing it on the counter, I took her arms to bring her closer.

"I'm sorry." Her voice was muffled against my chest.

My voice was lost in her hair. "You shouldn't be, but_ I_ am. I get it. Truthfully, I wasn't thinking you'd be so worried."

She looked up at me like I was stupid.

"What?" I shrugged. "You kept saying no to me about my staying, so I convinced myself you were all right. As soon as I left though, I knew there was _no_ way I was going to leave you alone all night."

Smiling wide, she happily proclaimed the truth.

"You love me."

I shook my head, jokingly trying to lighten the mood. "Sometimes I wonder."

In the past, I certainly _had _wondered how the hell she'd been able to get such a hold on me, but not anymore.

"Hey! That's not very nice! You better plan on sleeping on the couch if you don't take that back."

My eyes brightened. "If I take it back, does that mean I get to sleep in _your_ bed?"

She pushed off of me and took a slice of pizza.

"Nope. I'm still in slow mode." The seductive smile she gave me meant she wasn't going to last. "There are plenty of blankets in the guest room for you."

"Oh come on, Cupcake. You know that thing is too small for me."

"Lenny slept on it just fine, and he's bigger than you. There's no reason you can't. I had to sleep in the guest room at your house, and it sure as heck beats that lumpy thing at your current place."

I groaned. "Stop being right; it's a turn on."

She snorted. "To you, everything's a turn on."

"No, just stuff you do."

"Whatever. Let's eat in the living room. I think Bob's still knocked out, so our food should be safe."

She sat Indian-style on the right side of the couch, pizza in her lap, and I sat on the left, facing her.

As soon as I saw what was flashing on the screen of the television, I couldn't hold back my complaint.

"Tell me you aren't watching Jersey Shore."

"I am. What're you going to do about it?" she asked teasingly.

Placing my plate on the corner table, I leaned ever so slowly, until I was practically covering the entire top half of her body.

"I'm going to play dirty," I announced in a rough voice.

With that, I nibbled my way up her neck, over her jaw and took a nip of her ear. Her mouth was right next to my ear, and her heavy panting turned me on even more.

Moving my mouth over hers, I traced her lips with my tongue.

"St—stop," she said breathlessly, but her actions betrayed her words as her lips fully connected with mine.

I snaked my fingers into her hair to pull her closer. In turn, she extended her legs out.

And that's when we heard a _thunk-plop._

"Uh-oh."

"Let Bob eat it. We're busy," I murmured into her neck—liking this much more than needing to change the channel.

"No. You're supposed to be on your—" She stopped and enjoyed my sexual teasing. "Oh—that feels good."

When Bob made a disgusting horking noise, I couldn't help but stop.

The noises he made were one of many reasons we'd locked him out of the bedroom in the past. He was a total mood killer. True to form, Stephanie's motherly instincts kicked in now, and she started patting him on his back to stop his choking.

"The dog gets touched more than I do," I complained.

She pointed me to my side of the couch. "That's because he listens. Get back in your spot."

"Bob? Listens?" I called out as she walked back into the kitchen. Snatching the remote, I found the recaps of the days games.

Her retort came flying back. "Better than you!"

* * *

**Stephanie's POV**

"Stay away, Morelli. I'm not wasting any more pizza on Bob."

I took a big bite of my super cheesy pizza, topped with everything but the anchovies—just the way Joe _and_ I liked it—and stifled a moan. _Why was it that in the short few days Joe and I'd gone 'on' again I could enjoy my food like I used to?_

I couldn't let my love of food get too out of hand, since I still had to wear that abhorrent gown for Lula's wedding. Although, it wasn't like there was a seam to burst if I tried, which reminded me. I still needed to ask Joe about his attendance.

But first I wanted to hear about his day.

"So tell me about your strategizing meeting."

"You know I can't get you involved, Steph."

"Did you forget I already _am_ involved? I work at Macy's, and _you_ came to _me_ for a lead."

"Unintentional." He waved his hand. "And it hasn't netted any information anyway, mind you. This is different."

Even though I knew why Joe couldn't share his confidential job information with me, the nosiness I possessed still came out every time and took over. It wasn't like he was hiding life or death information from me, but—jeez—it still annoyed the heck out of me.

"How is it different? It's not like I can do anything with the information you give me. I don't know much about it. All I asked was how strategizing went!"

Irritated, I practically jumped off the couch and stomped into the kitchen. This scene was nothing new to Joe and me—just a different looking stage.

He wasn't far behind me, slamming his plate on the counter.

"What do you want from me, Steph? I met with my team and teleconferenced with the two others. We're still waiting to see how solid the narc's information was. Once we get the time and place we'll move in and stake out. We've done it before, and they always move from the original plan. Does that make you happy? Was that something to fight about?"

"No. But you know how I am," I excused my defiance.

"You would think after three years you'd be used to this."

"The same could be said of you. You could anticipate my attitude and calmly reply instead of getting pissy with me."

_Hunh! _I wasn't ready to let go of my feelings. It was all a part of the self-righteousness I was allowing myself to feel.

"Yeah, well, it's something for both of us to work on—compromise and communication. I compromised by telling you what we are up to."

He moved closer and cupped my cheek with his hand.

"You know I can't go into explicit details. If I could, I probably would. You have to remember that I've kept information from you—one—because some things I just _can't_ share, and two—we've had complications in the past."

"But we had _complications_ because you _didn't_ share, and I didn't know to stay out of your way!" I whined.

I hadn't really missed bounty hunting much since leaving Trenton, but being near Joe now, where the action was, made me miss it fiercely—the action—not the scum I'd hunted.

"When?"

I sat and thought while Joe backed against the counter. Crossing his legs, he had his beer in one hand, and the other in his pocket prepared to wait me out.

_God, he looked delicious._

"That time you guys were doing the stake out, and Ranger and I were in the alley staking out the same people. And I hit your shitty car."

I stifled a laugh as Joe remembered and shook his head.

"We weren't even together then."

"Maybe I wanted to be."

"Right," he drawled. "I think you were still calling me _scum_ back then."

"Probably because you weren't sharing information with me!" I shot back flippantly. Even though it really wasn't the reason we hadn't been together, it seemed to fit my argument.

In a heartbeat, Joe was in front of me.

"Have I ever told you how cute you are when you're trying to prove a point and get frustrated?"

He kissed me softly, taking one of my curls in his finger.

"And when you get all pouty like this, how much I want to kiss your sad little lip to make it all better?"

His voice was low and husky, just the right combination to make me lose my senses from time to time.

"And when you start blushing like you are?"

I fought off the redness of my cheeks with a well-meaning scowl.

He grinned wolfishly. "_Definitely_ when you start getting mad. It's like I feel your blood flow."

How can a man that points out my quirks and faults make my whole body heat up? I hadn't turned on the heater for the year, but I was definitely sweating all over.

"I—Uh—"

Joe's lips were on mine; pulling me as close as possible and making me lose my train of thought. His deep chocolate eyes were dilated almost black when our mouths separated.

"I don't know if I can stay in the guest room. It might be painful." He ground his lower body against me and grimaced.

"Good thing there's plenty of cold water," I said between gasps of breath. "I have a shower massager, but that won't help _you_ much."

"None of that is going to help me," he groaned before adding in frustration, "Why are we waiting again? I'm going to fucking die before you give in."

_Should I give him a real answer or an answer just to shut him up?_

If there was one thing my 'relationship' with Ranger had taught me, it was to hold out. The difference was I knew the payoff to holding out for Joe would be better than _anything _Ranger had ever given me. Joe had proven that much in the past—without the time lapse.

Sighing, I looked past him at nothing in particular to gather my thoughts.

Gazing directly into his now less aroused, yet still sexy eyes, I offered, "I just want it to be different this time. I know it will be," I fumbled and rushed to continue, "I can feel it, but I'm scared."

The words weren't coming out exactly how I wanted them to, but instead of clamming up I pressed on,

"We—_I_ haven't always thought out what I was doing, be it my job, my safety—my _relationships_—and I don't want to ruin it—ruin _us—_by moving and jumping too fast like we've done in the past."

My eyes begged him to understand. "I know this is our last chance, and I don't want to do anything to screw it up. I want us to appreciate everything we have together more than we ever have. I want to savor it all."

I felt a blush stain my cheeks, because the last part had come out slightly sighed remembering all this man could give.

Joe stepped even closer and brushed my hair out of my eyes. My gaze had dropped halfway through my rambling. Looking up, I was surprised to see so much compassion and understanding in his demeanor. I _shouldn't_ have been surprised, but we were talking about sex—and passionate men like Joe Morelli usually had a one-track mind about it.

"We talked about this, Cupcake. We both want this relationship to be about more than just sex. I _do_ want the deeper relationship with you, and we'll work on it. I promise we'll find a way to make us work. Neither of us is going to give up easily this time around, but I want this too. I want to show you how much I _appreciate_ you." He rubbed against me again.

I dared not to breath, otherwise I'd be moaning. "The outcome will be worth waiting for, Joe," I promised. "Just a little longer."

He grunted and didn't bother to hide his impatience. "I _have_ waited."

I pushed Joe away from me, which was quite a task physically for two reasons. Firstly, because he was so much bigger than me and had a million times more strength, and secondly, because I physically _wanted_ him near.

He wasn't going to change his mind, and I wasn't prepared to give in just yet.

Yawning, I asked, "What're your plans for tomorrow?"

He may not have voiced it completely, but I knew he understood. He was stubborn too, and he wasn't going to back down from his wants—probably more like severe _needs_ at this point—and we needed a change of subject.

"I need to charge my phone, but there's a possibility of all ports being hit within the next few days. We're doing a teleconference with the FBI, DEA, and ICE because these thefts are supposedly being tied into a drug ring. I personally think the feds just want more grant money."

"Are you compromising? Giving me little bits of information but nothing I can go act out on?"

"Maybe." He gave me a sly smile. "I know you hate working behind a desk. I don't want you getting any ideas and go chasing after these guys."

I shrugged my shoulders. Hoping I wouldn't emasculate Joe with what was on my mind, I couldn't stop my curiosity.

"Why are these guys so slippery? It doesn't seem like it should be so hard to catch whoever is responsible for these theft rings. I've watched you solve harder cases faster before."

"We've known what trucks will be hit. That's been the easy part. From the docks, the trailers get loaded onto a semi and off they go for delivery. Most of these trailers are contracted to the same trucking company. We get the trailer to semi-truck loading information, but every time they've been switched to different destinations. Not only do we have to track down the actual robbers, but we have to find the insiders at the dock, which will be easy once we get the proof. It's not like there are fifty crane operators."

"What does a crane operator have to do with anything?"

"That's the person who loads the trailer from the boat onto the semi flat."

"Okay. I never thought how that was done before. Go on," I encouraged.

"So we already have two suspects for the crane operators but I'm told not to move until we have all the players—the thieves first and then whoever is on the inside feeding the purchasing information."

He shook his head and sighed in irritation. "There has to be someone on the inside, because they're only going after certain items instead of the whole truck. Anyway, you know how the feds are; they like to make a production out of everything—even if it means taking three times longer to solve the case."

As Joe was going on about the job, it seemed the lines near his eyes were getting deeper. I could both see and _feel_ his frustration. Closing the gap between us, I reached up to smooth the lines off his face. Gratefully, he leaned into me.

With how much stress he constantly dealt with in his career, he'd aged well so far. Just by looking at him though, I could see he'd experienced more than anyone would ever want. Fortunately, on him it only added an edge to his already handsome, rugged features.

Being so close and taking a good, hard look at him had my desire ratcheting up again. I sighed and stepped away, but not before he caught my wrist to play with my fingers. While he was being so open, I wanted to ask more.

"You already hate working with a partner; why'd you choose to be head of a huge, complicated operation like this where you're working long distance with half the people?"

He looked at me warily, processing what he was going to tell me, and I anxiously waited.

He rolled his eyes. "I had to get out of Trenton—for my mental health and probably yours too. As hard as it was, now that I'm standing here—" He pulled me closer to lay a kiss on my forehead. "It was all worth it. I wish it could've been sooner, but I especially wish you hadn't gone through that bullshit with fucking Alex and—"

"Shoulda, coulda, woulda, Morelli. We can't take anything back, and we're right where we should be. If_ I_ had a wish, it would be to take back anything I did to ever hurt you." Wrapping my arms around him, I squeezed a little bit harder.

"We all make mistakes." He leaned back to look into my eyes. "As long as we learn from them, we'll both be fine."

"Damn skippy I have! There's _no_ way I'm letting you go now."

"You know," he paused, and a predatory gleam took over, "way back when, a relationship wasn't official until it was consummated."

Pushing off him, I started cleaning up the kitchen. "You don't quit do you?"

_Thank God for that!_

"Hell no! Not when we're back in good graces with one another! Come on, we need to break in at least part of this house. It won't feel homey until we do."

I was by the fridge, and he swooped me up to plunk me onto the island. "Look, you just cleaned right here. It's the perfect spot."

He slid me forward and stepped between my legs. The counter height was at the perfect level for us to be groin against groin. Kissing me softly with his perfect lips before tasting my mouth, it didn't take long before I was grinding against him, moans escaping me. I didn't come to my senses until Joe released my lips to pull my shirt over my head.

Tugging it back down, I stopped his progress.

"Shit. You really aren't going to give in," he groaned incredulously. It was a statement he wasn't happy to make.

"No," I answered somewhat regretfully. "You can hold out a little longer, can't you?"

"Jesus, this is worse than being a fucking teenager."

"When _you_ were a teenager, all the girls gave you whatever you wanted. I know for a fact—I was one of them."

He traced a finger from my temple down to my chin. "You can act like you didn't want it too. But the way you moved with me—"

His sentence was cut off when I pulled his face toward me.

Maybe losing my virginity behind an éclair case wasn't the most romantic story, but Joe was right—I had wanted him for a _long_ time and readily gave into what we both wanted that night. It was everything _afterward_ that'd been painful, only I didn't want to think about it right then.

"Enough," I wheezed. He undoubtedly knew how to take my breath away, and I felt the fire even more than I had the night we'd first united as one. "It's time for bed—_separate_ beds."

* * *

**Joe's POV**

"You could _kill_ a man with all your teasing. Remember when you moved into my place? You roped me in and cut me off then too. This is bullshit!" I exclaimed.

_Shit!_ I thought she'd played hard to get then, but it was _nothing_ compared to now.

Almost never could you call Stephanie a stupid woman. She knew what she was doing at all times—especially when it came to me, only I don't think she realized just _how_ much of an effect she had with me.

She patted my cheek. "Just a little longer, I promise."

"You're worse than a medieval torturer," I whined playfully. The wait would be worth it. It had been in the beginning of our relationship, and it would be now.

Knowing that, however, didn't make it any easier. It was going to be hard. _Who was I kidding?_ I already _was_ so hard.

Letting out a frustrated sigh, I scrubbed my hands over my face.

"Take a shower and then go to bed," Steph suggested. "You'll cool off and be as good as new in the morning."

"I'll be dead by then," I returned sardonically. "Can you imagine what the ME would write on my autopsy report? Death by loss of blood flow to brain, pooled in groin."

That got me a light punch and a hard scowl.

"Don't joke!" she demanded. "Your death is not funny."

The angry beast in her was awakening again, but I was too tired to talk it down. What a long fucking day. If I couldn't get rid of some of this tension, it was about to become a _lot_ longer.

Stepping closer to Steph again, I brushed my lips against hers. I resigned myself to not bring up the topic of sex again, having already decided on a bone chillingly cold shower.

"Goodnight Stephanie." I squeezed her hand and released it.

"Night Joe," she answered softly.

Making my way up the stairs, I could only pray—again—that this case would be closed soon. Then again, what would I do when it was over? Stephanie still had a job here, not to mention she was renting this place out. I needed to find out how long she planned on staying here, and how much longer her contract with Macy's was. I already knew the Philly Police Department wasn't a place of long term employment for me, much to their dismay.

I mindlessly gathered my clothes and towel to bring to the bathroom. Shucking my day old clothes, I turned the shower on and stepped in before the water had a chance to warm.

Picking up the girly shower gel, I took a sniff and found that although I wouldn't regularly bathe myself in it, the vanilla honey fragrance relaxed me a little. Besides the Dolce Vita, it was the underlying, enticing essence of Stephanie.

Lathering up my body, I started thinking about home. TPD was notorious for being quite the cluster fuck, but it had nothing compared to the PPD—plus Philly wasn't home. Now that I was with Stephanie, it felt a little homier, but there really wasn't any place quite like the house on Slater where my dog could roam the yard and the sun would shine through Aunt Rose's curtains.

There wasn't that bed that Stephanie and I had broken in over the years. Instead of the usual two dips showing where each person slept, there was only one, because we were always drawn to each other, even in sleep. Steph's bed here was comfortable, but it wasn't the same.

Our bed was one of the many things I'd missed and hated while we'd been apart. It'd been one of the reasons I'd moved to Philly. I hadn't been able to bring myself to replace it, but I couldn't sleep in it without her on a regular basis either. I'd tried in the past and usually ended up sacked out on the couch. I'd mistakenly thought if I left it empty long enough her smell and presence would disappear. Each time I'd been home both were still there.

I'd never have to feel that emptiness again.

_But what if she didn't want to go home?_

_What if after taking the training and schooling offered by Ranger she decided to set up shop here? Was there anything outlining where her operations had to be in their contract? What if I wrapped this case tomorrow and she was stuck here fulfilling her contract with Macy's? How long did she have left anyway? _

I had to shove those thoughts aside. I had no answers for now and worrying wasn't going to do me any good. Plus, she'd made small comments here and there, referring to the Burg and Trenton as home. _Eventually she'd go back, right?_ I didn't at all enjoy the thought of her living in this city alone—not with all the trouble going on. I'd have to figure out something.

No.

_We_ would have to figure it out—together.

Feeling sufficiently clean and relaxed, I shut off the shower.

Quietly, I moved down the hall and stood in the darkened doorway to Stephanie's room. I listened for a couple of minutes, until her tranquil breathing relaxed me, and I knew she was safe.

Regretfully dragging my body over into the guest room, I thankfully passed out within minutes only to awaken far earlier than I wanted to on Sunday morning to the smell of coffee, bacon and something else sweet. _Were those freshly baked cinnamon buns I smelled?_

I had to wonder if it was a dream despite being well aware I was staying at Steph's house in the guest room. Waking to the smell of coffee hadn't been necessarily unusual when we'd stayed together in the past. It was everything else.

Usually the only smell I would find even when she'd stayed with me was Frosted Flakes or Fruit Loops mixed with Bob and coffee.

Throwing on a pair of sweats over my boxers, I _had_ to see if my imagination was getting the better of me. Halfway down the stairs, I could hear humming and Steph moving around the kitchen. She turned around right as I entered the kitchen and gasped quietly, not having expected my presence. As soon as she realized it was me though, I could see her eyes sparkle, and a smile lit upon her face. Her eyes did the familiar glaze, and fire burned in them as they roamed my chest.

She grabbed a cup of already doctored coffee, the color just the way I liked it—not nearly as much cream and sugar as she liked, but just enough to take the bitter bite out of plain coffee. Shuffling over, she placed the cup in my hands.

She kissed my cheek. "Good morning."

Kissing her back, I took the time to look around the messy kitchen. It was messy in a way that said it was used.

"Good morning it is. How long have you been up?"

"A little over an hour. I couldn't sleep anymore, and I thought I'd surprise you."

She turned and opened a cupboard, stretching on her tiptoes to reach the top level to bring out a serving plate. It would've been easy for me to help her, since I'm half a head taller, but then I wouldn't have been able to watch her robe hike up and expose more of her bare, long and slender legs.

_What a way to start the day._

She placed the cinnamon rolls on the platter, along with eggs and bacon, and took them over to the breakfast bar.

"I wanted to make sure you had plenty of fuel for your day. It sounds like it's going to be a long one."

Taking her hand in mine, I kissed every knuckle. "I appreciate it, but you didn't have to go to all this trouble." My eyes swept the counters, noting that not a single surface had been left untouched. "A piece of toast and cereal are fine, and I can do that on my own."

Her eyebrows knit together, and she looked to be contemplating what to say.

"Spill. What's going on in that pretty little head of yours?"

"Well—" She paused, and I raised my brows, indicating I wanted her to go on. "I—uh—I thought this is what you wanted?"

"Breakfast? What I wanted? I don't understand. This is great, but—"

I stopped talking to watch her nibble on her lower lip. Finally, I took my finger and slipped it out from between her teeth.

She rolled her eyes. "You know!"

I shook my head, because I _didn't_ know.

"You want someone to cook and stuff for you," she said somewhat huffily.

"What!" Even I was surprised with how loud my question had come out. Such was my shock, I could barely sputter, "Wh—what gave you that idea?"

I was absolutely incredulous.

Her lips pursed together. "_You've_ said so yourself."

Her gaze burned mine, while I raced to remember what the hell I'd said.

"You want someone to cook and clean and have kids with. Someone that stays at home to take care of everything so you can come home to dinner on the table." She said it with the air of 'duh' that I didn't appreciate. "You know, Burg standard and all that. I made the changes I could while we were apart."

"Jesus!" I shook my head and threw my hands in the air. In return, she crossed her arms over her chest. "I don't recall _ever_ saying those exact words!"

Stephanie opened her mouth to argue, but I blew right over her. "Even if I _did_ say that—which I don't think I did—you should know me well enough not to take everything I say so seriously."

"But—"

"No." I took the two steps to be right in front of her. "I want someone to _help me_ cook, clean and raise my—our children. Were you listening at all to what I'd said last week?"

I uncrossed Steph's arms and wrapped them around my neck, stepping even closer. Her head was tipped back, looking into my eyes—waiting.

"We're going to live this life _our_ way. Not _any_ other way. What I want and _need _are _you_—only you," I reiterated, trying my best to get my point across. "I want you safe, healthy and happy. And I'll do anything to make you all of those things."

My hands drifted along her arms, over her neck to cup her face. "When the time is right and you want it as well, I would like a family with you, but I don't want you staying home unless _you_ want to. I don't want you cooking or cleaning unless _you_ feel like it. Look at the way we've lived all these years. You think I want anything to change besides making the living arrangements more permanent?" I shook my head. "No, I don't want it to change."

She stood in my arms, silently thinking over what I'd said. I dipped my head down so our lips were millimeters apart.

"Do you believe me, Stephanie?" I whispered.

She nodded as a single tear streaked down her beautiful face.

"Do you trust me to keep to my word?"

Again she nodded.

"I love you, Cupcake. I'm sorry you ever thought you'd have to change for me in those ways—in _any_ way. I don't want you to change beyond who you are now. Trust me, if I wanted a nineteen forties housewife I wouldn't have wasted either of our time over the years."

Blinking back tears, she went to speak, but nothing came. She cleared her throat, and whispered hoarsely, "I love you."

"You'll never know how much I love you," I declared seriously.

After several minutes of tender kisses and hand roaming on my part, she closed her now open robe and smoothed it out.

* * *

**Stephanie's POV**

Clearing my parched throat again, I reminded Joe, "Br—breakfast is getting cold."

During his profession of love and desire, I'd decided tonight was _the_ night. I couldn't hold out any longer. The man of my dreams was finally my reality, and it was about time I physically showed him how much he meant to me. He would be heading in to the station later today. That meant I had plenty of time to get the house in order and decorate.

I was practically giddy with the thought, but I didn't want to give anything away. I wanted it to be a true surprise for him.

Eating in companionable silence, we were almost done with breakfast when Joe turned our stools toward one another.

"I'll be at the station for just about the whole day. Come hell or high water I'm leaving at five,"

"Okaaay." I silently questioned why he was telling me all this and was rewarded with an answer.

"Start getting ready—say around four."

_Hunh, maybe it was a partial answer. _

"Ready? What for?"

"I'm taking you out for a night on the town, Cupcake." His eyes glittered with promise and amusement; one of my favorite looks on him. He always looked younger and happier and reminded me of days long before he saw what happened in the dark parts of the world that only detectives see.

_Hmmm, sounded to me like Joe and I were on the same wavelength in the romance department for the night. _

My thoughts went from elated to crushed in a split second.

"I don't have anything to wear! I haven't had my hair cut in months! You expect me—"

Joe out right laughed at me, and I shot him the pissiest glare I could. _How dare he!_

"You're a girl from Jersey. Of _course_ you have something to wear, and your hair looks fine. I'd prefer it if you didn't do a single thing with it. I love this whole 'slept-in-hasn't-been-brushed' look." He tugged on my curls, and I swatted his hand away.

I rolled my eyes so far up I'm amazed they came back down. "Uh huh, sure Morelli, whatever you say. Didn't you just ask me to take your words and believe them?"

"Yup." He looked down at his watch, an automatic habit when he awakened every day. "You have nine hours to get yourself all prettied up for me."

He winked, and I slapped his arm. _God, I loved this side of him!_ "When I get here, I expect you ready to fly out the door. Got it?"

I was a bobble head, my mind already too busy thinking about what I was going to wear and how I was going to do my hair and makeup to voice an answer.

Joe gathered our almost empty plates and brushed a hurried kiss over my lips. Bringing the dishes over to the sink, he rinsed them and loaded the dishwasher.

"See, I _can_ clean up after myself. Leave the rest of the kitchen. We'll save it for later. Right now though, I need to get to the precinct, so I can get out of there as promised."

He practically ran up the stairs, and I heard him rustling around getting dressed and ready for his day with a definite extra spring to his step I hadn't seen in a long time.

I was looking forward to what his excess energy could do.


	20. Chapter 20

****Do not own, they are all JE's

Thank you to everyone following and taking the time to review! You're all amazing!

Carol and Julie, thank you for always being there and helping out even when I confuse the heck out of you. I couldn't do this without you.

* * *

**Chapter 20 **

**Stephanie's POV**

"You guys better be on your best behavior; otherwise, no treats after dinner," Marisa warned.

Two nodding heads and a couple of gurgles and we were on our way.

"No babysitter, huh?" I asked, trying to keep the disappointment out of my voice.

After all, we were on a shopping excursion for my big date with Joe. Hard to purchase lingerie with a passel of kids in tow! Good thing her kids were cute and _mostly_ well behaved.

"Nope. Too short of notice."

Marisa tugged on Danny's hand to direct him where we were headed.

"So you have champagne glasses, and we're going to the specialty chocolate shop. Tell me what's going on."

"I told you—Joe and I are going on a date." I didn't even try to hide the glee I was feeling from my voice. "We talked about it this morning, and then he called a couple of hours ago to tell me to dress nice and to be ready when he gets home."

"Oh yeah?" Marisa's eyes twinkled, reflecting off of mine.

"Uh huh. So I'm coming up with a little romance of my own. I can't let him take all the glory of our night."

"Do you know where you're going?"

Marisa was pushing the stroller with little Sophia, somehow navigating the busy indoor mall where we'd met up.

"No," I sighed impatiently. I didn't like surprises all that much. "He just called to say wear something nice."

"You mean he isn't picking out your clothes for you?" she quipped, referring to my stupidity with Alex.

"Joe? He'd never. He's a smart man. Plus, I have this really great dress that's been hanging in my closet for too long."

"Is going out somewhere nice a normal ritual for when you get back together?"

A bark of laughter left my lips, and I shook my head.

"Generally, one of my disasters would bring us together. Our _routine_ was something along the lines of 'he'd save me or be there when I'm saved; we'd go back to either his place or mine' and then we'd end up a couple again. I think this is the first time we've ever declared that we're actually _together_."

"Does it feel good?"

I noticed Marisa's eyes sweeping the area while we walked—just as mine were. When I'd called her, I'd told her all the precautions I was taking, knowing Alex had yet to be found.

Joe and I'd agreed I wouldn't want to be in the house all day while he worked, and since Pennsylvania had stricter gun laws, I didn't dare carry my gun. Instead, I had my stun gun and pepper spray. Marisa had also brought her Mace just in case it was needed.

"Hell yes, it feels good!" My smile was a mile wide but dimmed as I thought back. "When he first broke up with me, I knew it was a different break up. There was no back and forth—not a single call."

My heart physically hurt remembering how lost I'd felt after Joe left that night so many months ago.

In a contemplative voice, I continued, "I think we really, truly are ready for a long haul relationship this time. Of course, knowing my luck, now that I've figured out what I want, he'll be too skittish to want to marry me."

"Why do you say that?" Marisa asked absently. She was a pro at herding the kids without making a big fuss.

"We've never had A-plus status communication, but Joe's never hidden what he wants out of life. At first he didn't think too highly of marriage both from his job and witnessing his parent's own lousy marriage. My shitty marriage didn't help matters either and made me want to run from real commitment. But as Joe got older, things changed. He started thinking more about the future. It just took me a heck of a lot longer to get with the program. I'm afraid he thinks I'll never want any of that ever again. I'm not sure how to say I'm ready without being a total dork."

"Well, it's about time you said _something_!"

I agreed with a nod. She didn't need to remind me I was a slow learner. I'd already spent the majority of the past year beating myself up over the same thing.

We walked into the specialty confection store, and my mouth immediately began to water. Scanning the menu, I found just what I wanted.

"Two-dozen chocolate strawberries, please," I told the older lady at the counter.

Marisa smiled knowingly at me. "Sounds like it's going to be a long night."

Images of the past nights with Joe slammed through my mind, and I checked myself to make sure drool hadn't escaped.

Sophia saved the day by letting out an excited howl when the counter lady offered her a small candy.

Deciding lustful thoughts of Joe probably weren't appropriate to think about in the store, I changed topics.

"So my meeting with Macy's is at ten tomorrow. I'm kind of scared."

"I don't think you should be. It's probably just a mandatory 'keep you in the loop' thing. I talked to Genessa in marketing. She had a meeting after a leave of absence when she was going through her sexual harassment thing. It sounds pretty normal to me."

"You really think so? She still has her job, doesn't she?"

I needed as much reassurance as I could get. I didn't want to be left without a job—even if I did have the Rangeman position lined up. My schooling wasn't even due to start for another week or so. Since working at Macy's, I'd learned I like having a routine. I didn't want that to change too soon.

"Yes, and it's been a few years since Edmund got fired. See? Everything will be fine."

If her hands hadn't been busy pushing the stroller, I think she would've patted me on the head.

"Yeah," I mused, and then repeated with a little more conviction, "Yeah, I bet you're right."

"Let's talk about more exciting things. Like what you're going to do to Joe tonight."

I giggled like a little girl. "What _won't_ I be doing to him? He won't even know what hit him by the time I'm done with him."

Marisa laughed, equally as young. "Ah, young love."

We ended our excursion by stopping at a homemade candle store where I purchased several dozen tea lights. We then grabbed lunch at the food court. I opted for a salad out of fear of bloating and looking pregnant in my Adrianna Papell dress I'd finally have good reason to wear.

Later at home while getting ready for my date with Joe, I was reminded of my first date with Alex—putting on a little extra mascara, making sure every hair was where I wanted and that my dress fit the way I liked. Not to mention I was nervous as all get out—just like I'd been that night.

There _were_ a few huge differences though—mostly the fact I was excited this time. Without a single doubt, I knew this night would end so much better than anything I'd experienced with Alex. _This_ night would lead to bigger and better things in life.

Thinking about my ugly time with Alex made chills run down my spine. I was a bundle of energy waiting for Joe to come home to me and replace those memories with good ones.

Home.

With him staying at my place, it definitely felt more like home. Even though he'd only brought a small bag, having his personal items about made me feel safe and comfortable—two things that came naturally whenever I was with him.

The more I primped for our special night the more I thought about what was awaiting us.

_I was so ready!_

* * *

**Joe's POV**

"I'll be there in ten."

I was running a few minutes late to pick up Steph. For once it wasn't because of my job. Rather, it was due to my having stopped to buy flowers.

After stopping by my apartment for a quick shower and change of clothes, I'd spotted a tiny flower shop on a corner nearby. I'd never seen it before, and the thought struck me—it had to be a sign.

I had no idea what I wanted to get her, but knew I had to buy something. Red roses were out. Neither Stephanie nor I liked the thoughts those horrendous flower conjured. Daisies wouldn't fit the mood I was in. Sunflowers were kind of blah.

Screw it. I decided to go for her favorite—yellow roses. They were simple and smelled fresh.

When I ordered a dozen and a half, the young girl at the counter cocked an eyebrow at me.

"Usually people do even amounts. Not a half."

I didn't want to disclose the reasoning behind my odd order so I simply stated, "Good for them."

I wasn't a 'usual' kind of person, and neither was Stephanie. Plus, my reasoning was kind of embarrassing. It was a rough estimate of how many starts and stops Stephanie and I had over the years, beginning at the tender ages of six and eight.

Near the refrigerated flowers hung a card listing all the different meanings behind the roses. Without further thought, I purchased six additional yellow with red tips to make the girl behind the counter happy, bringing the order to an even two dozen.

According to the card, yellow roses meant quite a few things—joy, gladness, promise of a new beginning and delight. Steph definitely brought all those things to my life, and this _was_ our new beginning. The yellow with red tip flowers signified falling in love. And while I'd fallen in love with her long ago, I wanted to remind her. Lastly, I ordered a single coral rose—representing desire. I just hoped it wouldn't wilt from sitting in the back of the SUV while we were at dinner. I wanted to give it to her after our date when we arrived home after dinner.

Swerving in and out of traffic, I pulled into the driveway with less than twenty seconds to spare. At least traffic and being late had kept my mind busy, so I didn't have a chance to become anxious or let my nerves get the better of me—mostly.

I took my big bundle of flowers—still wondering what women saw in something that would wilt and die within a week—and tried my best not to skip up the walkway. Knocking twice, I was happily greeted by Bob's rarely heard ferocious bark. Bob had more than proved himself as protector—a term I never would've thought fit him. Sounded like he was living up to his new title.

"It's just me, boy!" I called out, looking around to make sure none of the neighbors were on their porches.

His barks turned to whimpers, and the click-clack of Stephanie making her way to me could be heard.

She opened the door, and my mouth dropped. Worse yet, the roses almost fell out of my hands. She looked—

Irresistible.

Standing there with half of her brown curls pulled back, bright blue eyes shining, face aglow with happiness, it all but took my breath away. Her knee length dress was simple and elegant. Never had the color grey looked as beautiful as it did resting against her skin. The dress was sleeveless with sheer lace starting at the top of her cleavage. Falling just above her knees, the length showcased her toned calves, as did her feet, which were tucked in tall, black high heels.

My fingers ached to rub the length of her hem—or anything else she'd allow.

She sized me up and down, taking in my black slacks, deep blue dress shirt and black tie—probably not even realizing she'd licked her lips in the process.

She turned around and giggled—a sure sign of her nervousness.

"Can you hook the thingy in the back? I think I have it zipped up all the way."

Stepping further into the house, I set down the roses, and with shaky hands, gently touched the sheer, lacey overlay. I wanted to touch so much more, but there was no way I could do it and not totally lose control. I took a calming breath and hooked the back, then swept her hair off to the side and placed a soft kiss at the nape of her neck.

"You look great all the time, Cupcake," I stated. Taking her hand, I lifted her arm, and twisted her in a little circle. "But this—" I had to clear my throat. "This takes the cake."

She faced me and took a step closer. We'd barely touched, and her eyes were already glazed with desire.

A whisper's breath away, her eyes smiled. "Are those roses for me?"

Picking them up again, I declared, "Only for you."

"Mmmm."

She leaned in to smell the roses and kiss me lightly. The effect was hypnotic and I fell further under her spell, the same one I'd been under since I was eight years old.

"'Only for you'—three of my favorite words."

My lips quirked up, "What are your other favorite words?"

A mischievous smile spread across her face, and I took a step back.

"'I love you' is definitely a favorite combo."

"I do love you. What else?"

Her eyes sparkled at my words. Such an innocent gesture, and yet my desire for her ratcheted exponentially. We could joke, laugh and just be together without the awkwardness associated with new relationships. Probably it'd contributed to our downfall in the past, but right now it just felt right. When the time came for us to make a move in the bedroom it'd be all business—fun business.

"'Here's more cake' might top them all."

"How does 'let's get out of here, so I can get you fed, and we can get on with other activities of the night?' sound? If you're good, you can have as much cake as you want."

"Jeez, you're really good at this word combo thing, Morelli."

I helped her into a black, woolen pea coat. Even though it wasn't cold enough to warrant something so thick, I knew better than to argue with a girl from Jersey about her fashion. I had sisters; I was no dummy.

Pulling up the collar, I used it to pull her toward me.

"You want to put those roses in water?" I asked, staring at her lips. I desperately needed to touch them with mine.

"Will it get us back here faster if I do?"

I shook my head just before lowering it to taste her. Immediately, it felt like fireworks had been set off around us. _This_ was what I'd missed most—the connection Stephanie and I'd always shared. It wasn't just physical either. In fact, that was just a small part of the whole of us being together.

Maybe it was mind over matter; maybe it was severe hope taking over my body and brain, but with our lips fused together and our tongues dueling for control and pleasure, I couldn't feel any of that old fear of her leaving. The knowledge made our kiss—and our connection—so much stronger.

The sound of my cell phone buzzing broke us apart.

"You better not answer that!" Steph warned, looking a little wild at the thought.

I sniggered, turning off my phone. "I'm not. I don't have a death wish—I have too many plans. Turn yours off too."

Fair was fair.

On the way to the restaurant, neither of us said too much. I think we were both afraid we'd banter back and forth like usual, leaving me with no other choice than to pull off to the side of the road and have my way with her. We might not have been touching, but I could _feel_ the energy mounting between us. I was almost afraid of what might happen tonight. We'd gone too many nights—too many _months_—without each other or anyone else.

Steph was nearly vibrating in the passenger seat. She never could hide her emotions well. All I could do was breathe in and out. If I didn't, we wouldn't be able to get the full effect of the night. We'd been apart for longer than we'd ever been, and yet I wanted her to know how special she truly was. Tonight was about romance—not just sex.

* * *

**Stephanie's POV**

We finally pulled up to the valet at Davio's Northern Italian Restaurant. I would've died if the car ride had lasted any longer. We'd been in too close of quarters to do what I'd wanted with his sexy body next to mine. The need to reach out and touch Joe in anyway—his hand or leg—hell, I didn't care—had nearly overpowered me. I just needed to touch _something_!

When a twenty-something, clean-shaven man took my hand to help me out of the car, I caught my heel on the floor mat and almost exposed my most private parts to everyone. God, I was a jumble of nerves. I needed to get myself together if I didn't want Joe to die of embarrassment tonight. I was used to embarrassing myself, but I'd feel badly if Joe had to duck his head while being with me.

Apparently, I was needlessly worried, because Joe couldn't stifle a laugh at my fumble. Seeing my glare, he tried reeling in his laughter and rocked back on his heels.

"Sorry, Cupcake. It's a classic 'you move'."

"Why don't you remind me again what a klutz I am?" I said with pure Jersey attitude.

I managed a pretty good front of being angry before succumbing to laughter as well, and a smile adorned my face as we walked into the beyond elegant Italian restaurant. The lighting was low and intimate. The music was classical with a slow beat that suited the ambiance well. Along the far wall was several twelve foot or taller arched windows. They brought in the light from the late century looking lampposts outside. Pillars were placed every fifteen feet throughout the large dining area. It was beautiful—_and_ slightly intimidating.

Joe and I had gone to several upscale events and restaurants in the past—but not quite this nice. I'd always thought Ranger could blend into any setting. Had I been paying attention, I would've noticed Joe adapted far better.

He looked right at home—way more relaxed than Ranger could ever be—talking to the stuffy waiter, telling him who the reservation was for and keeping a running conversation as we waited to be seated. Standing off to the side with Joe's arm around my waist, I was slightly awestruck. His back was straight, and he held himself with an air of significance. He'd always been a confident man, but what he was exuding right then was beyond the norm. On the other hand, I felt self-conscience, even though I'd been in nice places with almost every man I'd had in my life—Alex, Ranger, Dickie. But I struggled feeling good enough to be out with a man like Joe in a place like this. He was the most handsome man on the planet, and I couldn't for the life of me figure out why he'd chosen a girl like me—not that I was going to argue over it.

As we walked to our table, I thought about all the times Joe had adapted to situations smoothly in the past. The only times he hadn't shown complete control were when I was in danger. The more I thought about it, the more I realized he had the ability to blend and adapt to any situation—and tonight was no exception.

We were seated in a dimly lit corner. A window beside us provided most of the light for our dinner. The steward moved to pull out my chair, but with a nod from Joe, he stepped away.

"Your waiter will be with you shortly," he announced before taking his leave.

Joe stepped toward my chair and pulled it out. Winking at me, he swept his hand out.

"Your seat, Madame."

Scooting in my chair, he took the seat directly across from me and lifted my hand. He kissed every knuckle before setting it back down gently. The move could've been construed as seductive and romantic, but Joe was being playful, obviously sensing my slight discomfort per usual.

I couldn't help the snort and eye roll that escaped, but then my eyes went buggy. _How could I have made such a disdainful noise_?

"Relax, Cupcake."

"I will—just give me a minute. I don't adapt as well as you. The transition from klutzy lover to well-mannered lady is tough," I joked.

Joe rolled his eyes and smiled. "Stop worrying about what other people might think. Enjoy yourself—enjoy us. You damn well know I'd take you as my klutzy lover any day over some stiff, well-mannered lady."

I smiled and looked around the room again. The ambiance was amazing, and the people were so at ease. Joe was right. I needed to enjoy _us_ and this special time we had together.

* * *

**Joe's POV**

Our waiter appeared for our drink order. I knew Steph hadn't had time to look through the menu, but there was a drink that'd caught my eye, so I took the liberty of ordering for her.

"An Electric Lemonade and lemon water for her and a Hoegaarden for me, please."

"I'll be right back with your order," he stated with a small bow.

"An electric what?" she asked, scanning the menu.

"Lemonade. I think you'll like it, but if not, you don't have to drink it." Pausing, my grin took over when I thought of the past. "I think it falls under your lightweight title for drinking."

Moving my chair closer, I drew her hand toward me. I'd looked over the menu while Stephanie had taken stock of the place. I may have gotten away with ordering a drink for a lady, but I'd never over food—especially for Stephanie. I was no fool.

I gave her a few minutes to peruse the significant menu before inquiring, "Anything sound appealing to you?"

The smile she'd had since our arrival was still there. "Everything. You know, this is why we stick to usual haunts, so we don't have to spend half the night waiting on me to choose."

Inching my chair even closer, I gripped her hand a little tighter. "Why don't we do the three course dinner? You'll get pasta and meat and—"

I dangled the 'and', waiting until I was sure she was going to pass out from lack of oxygen before finishing.

"It offers a dessert tray."

"A tray—of desserts? I'm in!"

The waiter delivered our drinks, and I sat back, taking a sip of my beer and watching Stephanie. She was in her own world, not realizing how I couldn't keep my eyes or hands off of her. In my entire life, I would never fully understand the woman who had hold of my heart. She was everything I'd never known I wanted—or needed—pushing buttons and annoying the hell out of me one second and then taking my breath away with the next. She was confident and self-assured, and yet within mere seconds could be shy and apprehensive.

Feeling my eyes upon her, she smiled and stated, "Next weekend is Lula's wedding."

When I didn't respond, her voice filled with panic. "You _are_ coming, aren't you?"

"I—I'm not sure. I _have_ to wrap this case up, and I don't know what's going to happen Thursday on the stake out. If we're lucky, I'll be up to my eyeballs in paperwork shutting this thing down."

I wanted to be there with Steph, but truthfully the words '_Lula'_ and '_wedding'_ combined scared the shit out of me. There were so many possibilities of what could go wrong.

"But you _have_ to go. I won't be able to get through it without you," she whined, and I found it oddly endearing.

Chuckling, I asked, "Why? She's _your_ friend. You're the one standing up with her. I'd be all by myself in the pew. Wait—where _are _they getting married?"

_Jesus, knowing Lula—_

"Uh, they've reserved a room at one of the state parks."

"State park? Why would she—"

"This one is really green and lush, so it fits her theme."

"Theme?" I echoed worriedly.

That was my fear. Nothing was too crazy for Lula. Hell, I could see her having a circus wedding, complete with acrobats and elephants.

The waiter reappeared to take our order, and Stephanie looked relieved to have the subject changed, which scared me all the more.

I ordered the three-course dinner for us. Steph probably wouldn't be able to finish it all, but I knew she'd enjoy a little of everything nonetheless. I was pleased to see I'd been right on target about Steph's drink. She seemed to be enjoying it, considering it was practically gone. Her eyes had already started to take on that glassy look she always had no matter how little she drank.

She smiled at me over her glass, most likely thinking she'd gotten away without giving me more details on the upcoming nuptials. I had a sinking feeling there was something else going on, and I planned to get to the bottom of it.

"Huh uh—don't think you're getting off so easily," I said, bringing her fingers to my lips. "Tell me I'm not dressing up like a lion or—worse yet—George of the Jungle."

Laughter bubbled out of Stephanie, and my eyes narrowed.

"No way. There is _no_ way in hell I'm going if that's the case."

I slumped back in my seat. _I knew it!_

A tear leaked out of her eyes from laughing.

"No," she gasped. "_You_ won't be dressing up for her wedding—"

She gained control over her amusement, and even though I knew she was joking, there was surely hunger in her eyes when she finished off with, "But you can dress up for _me_ anytime. You'd make a perfect '_Joe_ of the Jungle'."

Why a silly statement like that sent me over the edge, I'll never know, but I forcefully pulled her toward me, finally caressing her lips with mine. I'd been fighting the aching need since we'd sat down; touching her as little as possible out of fear I'd knock everything off the table and have my wild way with her right in front of all the patrons.

Caught completely off-guard, she hesitated a moment before responding in kind. The fire had officially been lit for the night, and dinner hadn't even been served yet.

A throat clearing behind us signaled our need for a break. If it hadn't been for the waiter serving our salads, I would've straddled her across my lap.

Steph's face was completely flushed, eyes unfocused, and she breathed heavily while staring at her food. It appeared she was trying to think of anything to get her mind off of what she'd like to do with me on that table.

I needed to do the same.

"I didn't think you could do things like that in places like this," she marveled.

"What? Kiss?" I took a bite of my salad and hid my smirk.

"Uh, yes!" She stabbed a cucumber. "That wasn't your typical public kiss."

I tipped my chin, acting like I was thinking thoughtfully for a moment.

"This _isn't_ your typical night," I teased. "But if you like, I can always to go back to—"

"No!" she protested and leaned over to give me a kiss. It was less passionate than the last one, but it surpassed what we would've normally done. Looking into my eyes, she smiled softly, "I like the new you, although new you—old you—I'll take _you_ any way I can."

"You have no idea how much I appreciate that, Cupcake. I feel the same about you." Leaning over, I brushed my lips against hers. I dropped my voice. "You have no idea what you do to me—especially hearing you say that."

After years of wondering if I wasn't good enough for her, it was music to my ears to know I was all she wanted _or _needed.

I picked up my salad fork, hoping to continue our previous conversation, even if she was completely flustered.

"If I'm agreeing to go to this wedding, I need full details. I can't walk into this thing blindly."

Her shoulders slumped slightly. "Well, first of all, I'm going to be in a hideous dress."

"Nothing could possibly look hideous on you." I rubbed her arm, and laughed, "What's wrong with it? Is it eggplant? Although lime green seems a little more fitting for Lula."

She pinched my arm lightly. "Actually, you were on the right track with the jungle theme, only the guests aren't required to dress up." She sighed, and I silently thanked God. "Think of every animal in the jungle, mix in their spots and stripes, and toss in shiny gold and Voilà! You have my dress."

In my most confident voice, even though I wasn't completely convinced, I stated, "The dress doesn't sound that bad."

I had to make her feel better somehow, knowing she didn't have a choice in the attire.

"You haven't seen it! It's awful. Although, you might just like it with how much skin I'll be showing."

"I love your skin. It's so creamy and soft."

Pink crept up her cheeks. "Stop it!" Taking a sip of her water, she added, "I'll be walking down the aisle with Ranger."

I nearly choked.

"Ranger, huh?" I tried to control my inner beast that was shouting no.

"Yeah, Franklin works for Rangeman."

Her shoulders went up, and a broad smiled crossed her face. "Ranger's outfit matches mine. Can you picture him and Tank in gold and zebra?"

Both of us burst out laughing, taking a long time to settle down.

"Why didn't you tell me that to begin with?" I scolded playfully. "What time do I need to pick you up?"

She looked disappointed. "_Pick_ me up?"

"I'm probably going to have to drive straight from PPD to Trenton. I'm sorry, Steph, but that's how we're going to have to plan it as of now. By Friday I'll know my plans for sure."

"That means I'll be sleeping alone—at my mom's house. I was _really_ looking forward to staying at your place."

"You can stay there. You still have your key, don't you?"

She huffed. "I am _not_ staying there without you. It's not the same."

"Oh God, trust me—if I can make it happen, I will. You have no idea." All I could envision was her in my bed or on the couch or even hanging out in the backyard. I wanted her there badly.

I had a hand on my almost empty beer, while the other lazily brushed against her thigh. Her skin became goose-bumped as I lightly swept my fingers back and forth.

"What were you and Marisa up to today?"

A secretive grin spread across her face. "Shopping."

"What'd you buy?" I kissed the inside of her wrist and loved her little shiver. "Was it something sexy?"

"Nope. Not really. Probably not by your standards at least."

"Cupcake, you know there isn't a thing I don't enjoy seeing your body in."

She rubbed her fingers softly up and down my arm, and soon became uncomfortable—just as I'd made her moments ago.

Jesus, couldn't the chef speed up our meal? He could bring all the courses together—make it a fucking buffet, because I was ready to get the hell out of there!

"I didn't buy anything to wear," she responded nonchalantly.

_My_ face fell. Lingerie wasn't necessary in the bedroom, but it made it more fun sometimes. I loved looking at it and feeling it and—

"We were with Marisa's kids. You think I was about to take them into Victoria's Secret?"

I hid my smile behind my napkin and responded as seriously as I could.

"When it comes time to teach my boys about the birds and the bees, I plan to take them there."

"What? You can't be for real! You wouldn't! Oh my God, Joe! I'm never allowing you in the mall with my kids! That isn't responsible parenting, and you know it. You're supposed to let them know the facts and then tell them they're not allowed to experience any part of those—those _activities_ until they're thirty-five! And you're just going to promote it. Joe!"

I was almost dying from holding in my laughter over her righteous indignation. Finally, I couldn't contain it a second longer, and it bubbled out, drawing the attention to half the restaurant. I couldn't catch my breath, although I tried to keep my heaving to a minimum.

Steph's head was turned down. I was _so_ going to get it when she got over her embarrassment. Raising it again, she shook it at me. I was surprised by the lack of fire in her eyes. Instead, she looked almost playful.

"You'd better take those words back, Morelli. Otherwise I'll see to it you never have kids."

Oh Jeez, those were fighting words. You don't mess with anything that helps a man make babies! The last thing I wanted to do was ignite Steph's temper further _or_ put any of my parts out of order.

Shit! I'd be surprised if everything worked correctly anyway after the Stephanie drought I'd been through.

I waved my hands in defeat. "I wouldn't ever do that, and you know it too, although I disagree on the age."

She had a brief look of relief and then glared. "What age do _you_ think is appropriate?"

"If we have a girl, retirement—sixty-five or older—is fine with me."

She snorted. "Poor kids. I already feel sorry for them. But I _do_ want to be a grandparent, so they'll just have to keep marriages a secret from you."

Even though our talk was all in jest, I couldn't help the complete happiness I felt. We'd kept 'kid talk' to a bare minimum in the past. Combine our light-hearted talk with the good date we were having and I was on cloud nine.

I gently rubbed her cheek, schooling my features to make certain I got across just how resolute I was.

"In all serious, Stephanie, you know I would teach our kids the right and wrong of everything I could, don't you?"

She rolled her eyes. "Of course—"

Our waiter appeared, and she immediately stopped talking.

"Sir, our chef is running behind schedule tonight. Do you mind if your scampi and main course come out at the same time?"

Ugh.

"No, we don't mind," Stephanie answered for us and smiled at my annoyance.

I just wanted to go home and get the show on the road.

Our waiter nodded and left the table, while I shot Stephanie one of her own 'eat dirt and die' glares.

* * *

**Stephanie's POV**

Laughing at Joe's glower, I said saucily, "Think of this time as foreplay. When we get home we can get straight to the main event."

The poor man was dying slowly. He'd been acting like me, squirming around in his seat and trying to be discreet about adjusting himself most of the night.

"Foreplay, huh? How's my performance so far?" he challenged.

"Hmmm." I tapped my chin with my index finger thoughtfully, trying to hide a smile from my lips and eyes. "Sub-par. I've had better from you."

Joe slapped the hand that'd been on mine almost all night over his chest.

"Sub-par?" He sounded wounded. "What about that kiss? Was that nothing?"

I knew just how to rile him up. "What can I say? You're a tough act to follow. Wait—what kiss?"

He ripped me from my seat onto his lap. This kiss far surpassed the last, our hunger growing by the minute.

_Was it too late to get our order to go? _

Joe slid his hands down my back to cup my ass, and I moaned.

Suddenly, a cackle sounded, followed by a woman's throaty voice.

"Joe! How've you been, handsome?"

_What? _

I pulled away, and Joe groaned.

Turning toward the intruder, my eyes followed up a long, toned and tanned body, barely covered in a one piece, skintight black dress. A gorgeous brunette—tall and skinny, with beautiful shiny hair—stood next to our table. Her whole look screamed natural confidence, as did her friend's, who was trying to tug her toward the exit with no luck.

I was off Joe's lap in a hot second and parked back in my own seat. The bitch had ruined a perfectly good—great—no, freaking magnificent kiss. She smiled like the cat that'd eaten the canary. She _knew_ she'd ruined our moment. Well, I'd show her _my_ inner cat and claw her eyes out.

Joe cleared his throat and looked at me apologetically _and _a tad guiltily before turning back to her.

"Tawna, this is Stephanie Plum. Stephanie, Tawna Carbret. She's Head Dispatch Operator for the PPD."

I kept my claws at bay long enough to extend my hand, trying my best to be considerate. "It's—uh—nice to meet you Tawna."

She barely gave me a glance, her attention occupied solely by Joe. He grabbed for my hand, but I pulled it away. I was too busy pouting—slumped back in my chair with my arms crossed.

Tawna softly touched her index finger to Joe's cheek. If he hadn't taken action to remove her finger like he did, she surely would've had no eyes by daybreak.

Joe shot me a look of apology. Tawna apparently had no such manners. She had no problem pawing at Joe when there couldn't be any doubt what I was to him, considering the kiss she'd just interrupted.

"Oh Joe," she purred, and I gritted my teeth. "It's so nice to see that _someone_ could get you out of the funk you were in. It gives me hope for the day you and I—"

She tried unsuccessfully to touch him again, but the flash of guilt that crossed Joe's face again distracted me.

"Why, yes, it _is_ nice to get him out of his funk," I agreed with a tone that matched my fake smile.

Through my narrowed gaze, I watched Joe's eyes get big. His guilt looked like possible embarrassment, and he shook his head—no doubt on the verge of cursing. Too bad for him! I didn't like thinking Tawna knew more than I did. I wanted a freaking clue what she was talking about.

"What funk?"

Tawna bent down to look at me. She looked like a woman that normally carried herself well, but when she got to eye level with me, her breath made it obvious as to why she was being obnoxious. She was tanked and couldn't keep her balance.

She hooked her thumb behind her in Joe's direction. "I thought I had a hole-in-one when Sexy came to work with the PPD. I finally convinced him to go out and have a few drinks one night." Her voice dropped to a whisper as if we were conspiring. "I put on my best outfit, full makeup—all the stops."

While trying to regain her equilibrium after standing up to her full height once more, I had to ask, "And? What happened?"

It came out almost urgently. I didn't want to look at Joe and see the guilt in his eyes because of what he might've done. Suddenly, the look in his eyes from earlier all made sense, and my stomach clenched. If she didn't hurry up with an explanation, Joe was going to see my inner green monster—not that it was a stranger to him, but this time would be epic.

Tawna rolled her eyes, which resulted in her friend needing to come to her rescue for stability.

Joe stood. "That's enough. Nothing hap—"

I shot him my grade-A glare._ How could he not have told me?_

Tawna quivered in affirmation. "Nothing."

Oh God! Her eyes were welling up, and I couldn't stop my smile at her words.

"Nothing happened, because _he_ was still upset about some loser that left him. You'd better—"

Tawna hiccupped, and I scooted away in fear of something exploding out of her mouth.

"You'd better be careful. Whoever the stupid ass was has a tight hold on him. As soon as she comes back, you're gonna get booted out the door."

I looked at Joe in shock. His face was beet red from neck to ears. Tawna's friend finally got a good enough hold on her and led them both toward the door.

* * *

**Joe's POV**

"No way," Steph mumbled. "No freaking way."

"What?"

She didn't look mad, but her voice wasn't necessarily warm. I never even thought to have told her about that awful date—if you even wanted to call it one. The conversation that night had started with getting to know each other, and when Trenton had been brought up, I'd naturally thought of Stephanie. After that, I'd spent the majority of four hours nursing a beer and talking about nothing but the woman in shock beside me.

"Cupca—"

Her hand flew up in the air to stop me.

"Get the waiter. We need the check and food to go."

"_What?_ Why? I didn't do anything with her!"

"I know," she stated calmly. Meanwhile, I was freaking out inside.

_Why out of all fucking nights did Tawna have to be at THAT restaurant and drunk as a skunk?_

"Alright, so what's the problem?"

"What are you talking about?" she frowned. "What problem?"

_Could this woman get any more confusing? Was she putting on a brave face only to let me have it as soon as we got home?_

I scrubbed my hands over my face. "I wasn't with anyone whe—"

"I said I know. Just get the check, Joe. I want to leave."

I wanted to blow up! She was making this into something that it wasn't. Not for the first time I thought she'd be the untimely death of me.

Our waiter came, and after explaining we had an emergency, he brought the check and a gigantic to-go bag.

Stephanie walked at a pace to the valet even I couldn't keep up with.

"Steph—"

Without a word, she grabbed the valet ticket from my hand and handed it over to the guy without a word.

_God, what did I do to deserve this? Our night had been going so well!_

The SUV pulled up to the curb, and my annoyance about morphed into full-on rage as Stephanie practically ran to the car and shut the door.

Tipping the boy, I slowly walked to the driver's side. I would need a calm head in order to get through what lie ahead—_if_ I could get through it. Steph had such a thick fucking head sometimes, I didn't know if I would be able to get through to her.

_I hadn't done anything wrong! _

Setting the bag of food on the center counsel, I got in. "Whatever you're thinking, I'm telling you it's wrong. I never met up with her again, and we didn't even hug or ki—"

I wasn't at all prepared for what happened next. Stephanie's left arm flew out, knocking the bag into the backseat.

I turned to her with fiery anger in my eyes. "What the fu—"

Both of her arms moved toward me so fast, I didn't have time to duck—not that I needed to. She tugged me so hard in her direction; I'd need a doctor to check my neck to make sure it hadn't shattered.

"Get over here!" she demanded, crushing our lips together and momentarily stunning me.

Her tongue darted out and took possession of my mouth. As soon as I felt that, I snapped into gear, and I quickly tried to take charge.

"What was that for?" I panted when we finally broke apart. I was slightly dizzy from both the whiplash and the out of this world kiss.

"Take me home. Now."

I sat there looking into her eyes, seeing nothing but desire when I'd thought those blue eyes would be ice cold.

"Stop wasting time! Take me to bed—home—whatever—anywhere we won't get arrested for the things I want to do to you."

I was completely confused. "But I thought you were mad?"

"Ha! You passed up _Tawna_ because you were in a funk over _me_? She was a wreck tonight but I'm guessing Monday through Friday she's close to goddess status. I'm not asking. I'm _telling_ you to—"

"Take you home. Got it."

_Finally all my fantasies of this night were about to be realized!_

The ride to her house was quiet. I was too busy trying to figure out exactly how bi-polar the woman I loved was.

Fumbling, she unlocked the door to her place.

I didn't even get two steps inside before I was slammed up against the door.

After probably the longest kiss we've ever shared ended, I couldn't let it keep going like this. If I did, both of us would combust before we even took our clothes off.

"We need to slow down. I want you. Jesus, I want you—but not like this. I need to take my time with you."

Steph's head fell to my chest. She was heaving, trying to gain control.

"You're right. Why don't you let Bob out? I've got a few things I want to do anyway. I'll call you upstairs when I'm ready."

Taking one more giant breath, she leaned up and kissed me quickly before flying up the stairs.

"I need some fresh air. Let's go," I told the fury animal at my side.

Instead of letting Bob roam the backyard, I took him on a brisk walk around the block. I yelled up to Steph what I was doing, telling her to call me if I wasn't back by the time she was ready and not to answer the phone or door. Before leaving the driveway I'd taken the coral rose out of the truck and it was still intact looking.

We were rounding the block for the second time when I got the call.

"I'm coming!" I practically hollered into the phone before I hung up. I went from lazy walk to full on run, tugging my lazy mutt along the way.

Not even bothering to take Bob's leash off, I sprinted up the stairs as fast as my legs would take me. I was ripe with anticipation and panting like Bob on a hot day. What I really wanted to do was burst through the master bedroom door, but, checking my watch, I realized it was still early. I didn't want the night to end too soon.

I needed to cool down. Heading for the guest bathroom, I washed my hands and splashed cold water on my face.

Returning to the master bedroom, I twisted the handle to the door. As soon as it opened, my heart stopped and I dropped the rose.

The room was lit with a million tea light candles. Chocolate covered strawberries were on a silver tray on the nightstand, along with champagne over ice in a chiller. Her normal bedspread was nowhere to be seen, replaced by red satin sheets.

But the best part of the bed was Stephanie.

Her hair was the same as when I'd left her, and her makeup looked to have been slightly touched up. The perfect body she possessed was barely covered in a deeper-than-the sheets red, mesh baby doll. It was sheer everywhere but her perfect breasts, where there were ruffles from the straps down to right above her stomach.

Oh yeah—it was going to be a long night.


	21. Chapter 21

Hello! I have a Monday treat for you! Thank you for your time and patience with me lately. I try my best to make it worth your wait worth while, so I hope you enjoy!

As always, Julie and Carol, you are so awesome! Thanks for helping me through and being wonderful friends. Thank goodness you guys don't charge by the hour. I owe you both a month long tropical vacation by now! Anyway! Thank you both so much!

After 20 chapters I must warn you. That M rating is in full effect this chapter...(You're welcome Pink99)

* * *

Chapter 21

**Stephanie's POV **

Lying on the bed, I switched positions. I was trying to come off as a casual sex kitten, but all I felt like was a subpar, sexed up, wannabe dweeb to the nth degree. Finally settling on my side, I pulled my legs up into an 's' position and propped myself up on my elbow.

_Jesus! Why was I so nervous?_

The front door slammed, and Joe's feet barreled up the stairs. Nervous energy turned to pure excitement for what awaited me.

The footsteps fell silent, so I waited.

And waited…

Until, at last the knob turned, and Joe stepped through the doorway. Coming to an abrupt stop, he dropped what looked to be a rose on the floor. Through the flickering of candles, all I could see were shadows on his face.

He looked pained.

I moved to get up, but Joe stopped me with a halting hand in the air.

"Stay where you are," he croaked. The tight tension in his voice had me holding my breath.

Bending over to pick up the rose, he came toward me. Each step taken was measured and deliberate, and as always, his eyes exuded passion and desire toward me. But this time the _love_ shining from them overwhelmed me to the point where my breath caught sharply in my throat.

He softly ran the rose over my shoulder toward my breasts, and I took in another shaky breath.

"Wh—what are you doing?"

He had one knee bent on the bed and was languidly moving the rose over every part of my exposed skin. All I wanted to do was touch him, and feeling as though I'd already held out long enough that night—I did.

I dropped the elbow propping me up and tugged on Joe's tie, taking him by surprise and pulling him over me. Gasping at the contact of feeling him above me, I looked up to see a very pleased Joe. His sexy smile was almost enough to undo me, but I needed more. It was as if a fire had been stoked inside both of us. Our mouths molded together, lips caressing in rough and harsh strokes before finally slowing to a gentler pace.

I couldn't decide which speed I liked better. All I knew was I needed more—more kisses, more skin, more friction, more love—all of it.

My fingers left his silky hair to trail slowly down and undo the knot of his tie. Ripping it away, I slid apart the first few buttons of the soft dress shirt adorning Joe's deliciously toned body. I needed to breathe, especially when Joe's hand snaked under the baby doll and took possession of my ass, grinding me harder against his erection.

A deep moan escaped Joe when I licked the cords of his neck. He enjoyed the familiar ministration, as I'd always been continuously drawn to this spot on him. In the past, no matter if he'd been angry or happy with me, I'd felt the urge to touch him there with my tongue. Kissing and nipping him now, I tasted a bit of salt along with the familiar flavor of Joe. Just like everything else about him, there was no one word to exactly describe what I tasted. Maybe it was testosterone. But whatever it was made me almost sob out a moan every single time we were together.

Everything about this man consumed me.

A hoarse whisper from Joe broke my homage to his manliness. "I need you."

I hadn't realized it, but I was suddenly incapable of forming actual words. Instead, an 'uuuhhnn' came from my throat when he cupped my breast with his calloused hands. My fingers fumbled with the rest of the buttons on the dress shirt. Completely useless now, they were as amped as the rest of my body.

Before I could rip the shirt to pieces, Joe rose to his knees. Still towering over me, he unbuttoned the shirt and took it off. I almost burst into flames from the heat in his eyes as he looked into mine. He was clearly seducing me, and it was no use. I was thoroughly entranced by everything about him.

"I'm going to make love to you," he rasped.

"Yes," I gasped. _I was so ready._

"You didn't let me finish," he teased.

I licked my lips. Wanting his tongue there instead of mine, I reached out and grazed his lower lip with my finger.

"Like I've never made love to you before."

"Oh God, please," I moaned.

"I wanted to go slow. I wanted to take my time." His gravelly voice was making me hotter and hotter.

"No. Don't. Please," I panted, stretching my arms out to feel every inch of his perfect chest under my palms.

He scooted back slightly, and I watched his every move. His hands glided slowly from my ankles, up over my calves and thighs, until he reached the apex of my legs. Letting his fingers softly slither where I wanted all of him most, I groaned and watched him slide my panties achingly slow down my legs.

"But I don't think I can," he continued. His breath was becoming more labored as well.

"Then don't. I—I just—"

I gasped as he slid his fingers between my folds.

"You just what?"

"I just need you!" I practically sobbed.

"Hhhmm," he continued in the husky voice that wrapped around me. "Those are some of _my_ favorite words." Chuckling roughly, he sent even more shivers through my body.

* * *

**Joe's POV**

I couldn't help but tease, even if I was just torturing myself. Backing off the bed, I reluctantly took my fingers from her warmth and slid them down her legs.

"Where are you going?" Steph demanded almost frantically.

"You want me naked, don't you?"

"Yes—but—"

"Just give me a minute."

"It's been months. _Months_. I can't wait much longer," she whimpered.

I must be a masochist, because my body wanted to give her exactly what she wanted. Unfortunately, my legs had another idea and decided to move in the opposite direction toward the treats she'd put out earlier.

"Not quite yet."

She was propped back on her elbows, chest heaving, and my already rock hard erection throbbed even more at the sight of her flushed and flustered before me.

"Need to keep you hydrated."

Popping the cork on the Martini and Rossi, I filled the glasses.

"And fed. I know how much you love to eat."

"Jesus, Joe. I don't want any of that right now."

"What do you want, Stephanie?"

"You. I want you. Right. Now. Don't make me beg anymore, please?"

My belt was off and zipper down in a matter of seconds. My undoing however was the provoking moan Steph released when I finally dropped my boxers.

Before she could take her next breath, I slithered over her body.

"Kiss me. Touch me. Do something!" Stephanie begged, lifting her hips to meet mine.

I removed the lingerie that'd been on her far longer than I'd anticipated. Knowing it was one of the best feelings in the entire world, I needed the full contact of her silky skin against mine.

Cupping her chin, I stared directly into her eyes and was met with a heated gaze of her own. I wanted to memorize that look in her eyes to remember the rest of my life, because the love and admiration shining from them now would get me through any horrible bumps that might come in our future life together.

Stephanie broke the silence but not the eye contact.

"I love you, Joe."

I leaned in, until we were millimeters apart.

"I love you, I'll love you forever."

With my declaration, I slid into her warm heat slowly, savoring every bit of the comfort that surrounded my body. We both stopped breathing when I was fully engulfed in her.

With legs wrapped around me, she pulled my neck down until our lips met.

"I missed you so much," she struggled out.

My heart shattered in pieces at the desperate tone in her voice, only to have those pieces immediately put back together with her words. Wiping away a stray tear, I kissed her softly, deliberately holding back the hunger I felt.

"Forever, Stephanie."

"Forever," she keened in agreement, as I started to move in a painfully slow rhythm. We both cherished the connection we'd missed for way too long.

I wanted to take it slow—wanted to make this time with her last, but as her little gasps and moans increased and her hands flew across my body, I simply couldn't.

And plunged deeper.

My pace picked up, and her breathing became more urgent. Slipping a hand between us, I took her pebbled nipple between my fingers and rolled lightly.

"Oh Jeez," she panted. "I don't th-think I'm going to last."

"Let it go," I urged gruffly. "I want to see you fly."

My lips replaced my fingers, and I flicked my tongue across her hardened nub.

"Joe, oh God!" Her repetitive whimper teased my ear, pushing me faster.

"Come on, Cupcake."

A few more flicks and thrusts and she was right where I wanted her to be, thrusting in time with me. Her whole being felt like it was clamping around my body.

"Joe!" The long sob broke through our moans, as our bodies collided.

I wanted to be joined longer—_needed_ it to be longer, but my willpower was useless against the pull of her body, and when her hands cupped my ass in a firm hold, I couldn't hold off any longer.

My body quivered as I spilled into her.

Without breaking the full body contact we still had, I rolled onto my back, and she lay sated on top. Slowly her breathing became controlled again, and she kissed the top of the eagle on my chest.

"You haven't lost your touch I see."

I laughed as best I could. My throat was so dry; it came out more of a wheeze.

"You liked it then?"

Stephanie squirmed, and my body began to come alive again.

Rising, she braced her hands on my chest and thrust her bottom further onto me. One roll and she made my now completely hardened length twitch, eliciting a groan from me.

With a very satisfied smile and a throaty seductive laugh, she teased, "Are you kidding me? I loved it."

The corner of my lip turned up. "I thought so, but I really couldn't tell."

"Maybe we should do it again, so I can show you how much I enjoyed it."

Pulling her closer, I murmured against her lips. "Mmm hmm. I'd like that—a lot."

* * *

**Stephanie's POV**

"You're a succubus," Joe declared. "You may just be the death of me."

Confused, I looked down at the waffle iron as Joe walked into the kitchen.

"What? I didn't do anything."

He laughed quietly. "You just licked your lips and moaned. You're going to have me worn out in no time. The sun is barely up, and you've already seduced me twice."

Hands propped on hips, I scowled at him as he filled his coffee cup.

"First of all, I did not lick my lips and moan, and secondly, there is no way you could get worn out. You kept right up with me last night _and_ this morning. Don't act like I forced myself on you."

"Okay, okay, so you didn't moan, but you did lick your lips just now, so stop. You need to make sure you'll have enough energy for tonight."

"You may have just demoted yourself from the smartest man I know to the dumbest," I retorted with an eye roll.

Coming to claim my lips in one of the best good morning kisses I'd ever had, he asked, "Oh yeah? Why's that?"

I gave him a shorter kiss before turning back to the waffle iron. Mocking exasperation, I grumbled, "Because for _you_ I'll make sure to have enough energy. You should be ashamed of yourself for even questioning me."

Lightly smacking my bottom, he came up behind me and breathed into my ear. "Keep it up, Cupcake, and see what happens."

_Dear Jesus, why had I ever let this man walk away?_

In the last year, I couldn't recall having had a better morning. Add waffles and tons of syrup to the love Joe and I had shared, and it _really_ couldn't get any better.

I stacked the last waffle onto the plate and turned to place everything on the breakfast bar.

"What's your day look like?" he asked innocently.

The old me was definitely in play today. All morning I'd been blocking out any thoughts of Macy's. A feeling of imminent dread came over me anytime it popped into my head, so I was doing my best to think of happier things.

Things like sugar.

And Joe.

And if I combined the two—

I shook my head to clear the erotic image in my mind. "I have my meeting with Macy's at ten. I don't know after that."

"You don't think they'll put you to work right afterward?" he wondered curiously and then shook his head at the beaming smile that spread across my face when I looked at his matching waffle plate. He could've used a little more syrup, but it was pretty darned close to mine.

"No. I don't think I'll ever be going back to work there."

"Why do you say that? They'd have a hefty lawsuit on their hands if they pulled that shit. You weren't the one in the wrong."

"The HR lady made me feel like it, and apparently I should've looked at the employee manual a little closer. You aren't supposed to have relationships with coworkers."

"Did Alex ever say anything about that?" He practically snarled saying his name.

"No, but lets be honest. We're adults, I should've known better."

Joe grumbled something I couldn't understand while taking a bite of his breakfast.

"What?"

"Nothing."

Setting down my fork, I wasn't about to let it slide. So he would know just how serious I was, I narrowed my eyes.

"What did you just say?"

"Listen, Steph—you're not a child, and you are the exact opposite of stupid. You've been known to make bad choices—" He looked at me pointedly. "But I'm still having trouble understanding what the hell you saw in him. Why didn't your little alarm bells go off?"

I hated being questioned, but, even more, I _really _hated being called out on something I should've known better.

"Because I didn't want to listen to them. We've been over this before, haven't we? It's over and done. I just want to move on."

I sighed. All the steam I'd had in the beginning of my rant deflated, leaving me defeated—again. It was a feeling I'd known only too well the last three or four years.

"Nope," Joe said, and I turned my downward face up in surprise.

His eyes implored mine to see the truth he was about to speak.

"I don't want to see any of this beating yourself up bullshit. I've told you before, we all make mistakes. We learn from them, and we move on. It might take time but it'll happen. I don't want you to ever forget it."

Taking my face in one of his hands, he gave my lips the sweetest kiss.

"It doesn't matter what happens today with Macy's, because in the end, you're strong and you'll persevere through anything. It's one the many things I love about you." His face took on a teasing smile. "Even if it makes my stomach eat itself alive."

I laughed despite myself, and my mood was suddenly lighter, as I poked him. "As much as I want to smack you for that last comment, I'm going to let it slide. Thank you—I needed that, and I love you."

"Love you too, Cupcake, but I got to get going. I swear I spend more time in meetings then doing my job." Taking his plate to the sink, he picked up his keys and holstered his gun.

"Call me as soon as you're out of the meeting. Maybe if our schedules match we can do lunch."

He dropped a kiss on my forehead—our usual routine for the morning.

"Only if you give me a better kiss."

His smile turned greedy, and I had a distinct feeling he'd be late.

_He better get used to it._

* * *

**Joe's POV**

Sitting at my desk at the precinct, I was once again thankful for Stephanie.

The focus I'd lacked prior to our permanent reunion was back with a vengeance. Having been with her intimately numerous times, I was more relaxed than I could remember.

There was a brief knock on the cube, and in walked Justin Smith, one of my underlings, who was showing improvement but still lacked maturity.

"Joe, I've got the backgrounds you requested. They're solid."

"How is that possible? No records? Not even a DUI?"

"Nada." Dropping down in to the guest chair, he handed over the files. "Does that surprise you since they've been able to pull this shit off for so long?"

A disgusted rumble escaped me as I looked at the files.

Justin eyed me closely. "From the look on your face, it seems the rumors are true?"

I looked up from the paperwork but said nothing.

He quickly clarified, "You know—the look you had before I gave you this information. It was a dead giveaway you had a date last night _and_ got lucky. It's about time, man."

He was up out of his chair, giving me a pat on the back.

_He couldn't be serious._

"She must be hot, since Tawna's been telling everyone you didn't hit that when you went out together."

_Hit that? _

"I seem to be above the age of kissing and telling," I said in a warning voice.

Justin got the hint to back off and shut up.

Clearing his throat, he removed his hand and asked, "You ready to head into the meeting?"

"Be there in a sec."

It was ten minutes to ten, so I sent a quick 'good luck' text to Stephanie and headed into the conference room.

The room was filling up when I walked in. Techie, as I called him, was setting up the computer and making sure the phone worked in order for the NYPD and TPD, as well as Rangeman, to join us remotely. On a long buffet table was an assortment of breakfast foods—donuts, croissants and bagels, along with coffee and juice.

The room was windowless, and it always felt like the life was being sucked out of you when you walked in. The walls were white and dirty. The dark blue, worn down carpet had needed replacing a couple of presidents ago. A white board adorned one wall, and a faded, 'inspirational' poster was on the opposite side of the room. The only saving grace was the chairs. They were pretty new considering nothing had been bought for the entire precinct in a decade, but they sure as hell beat the plastic ones I'd been subjected to in the past.

"You grabbing a bite?" Smith asked over a mouthful of chocolate donut.

"No, I already ate."

"Oh—so you didn't just hit and run. You stayed," he snickered.

_At least back when I'd sown my oats, I'd shown a little class._

"Let me ask you a question, Smith," I broached in a voice that sounded a lot like a scolding father.

"M'kay, I'm game."

"Do you want to move up within the department?"

His confused expression matched his drawn out answer. "Yeah."

"Then I suggest you stick to working your way up instead of getting everyone's dating stats. If you spent less time asking about other people's lives, maybe you'd have your own. Don't fuck up this opportunity. Let's solve this case, and if you're lucky, I'll put in a good word for you at the end."

He looked thoroughly embarrassed, and I felt bad for about half a second. For the most part, I'd kept my mouth shut about the things he did that got on my nerves. Truthfully, I was doing his next partner and boss a favor. Out of all the things he'd ever said to me, his treatment of my relationship with Stephanie as a casual fling was what had finally set me off—not that he should've known better. But it was the one thing in my life I'd never let anyone talk down about. I couldn't; it meant too much to me.

In a far less smugger tone than he'd used earlier, he floundered, "I, uh, I thought, uh—"

"Yes?" I demanded in irritation.

"Well, I, uh—"

I let out a long breath of air in an attempt to tamp down my temper. He should be thanking his lucky stars Stephanie was back in my life, because if he'd pulled this a couple of weeks ago, he'd have been long gone.

"I've heard the FBI has been going after you," he finally managed to spit out. "I'd hoped when you went to work for them, you'd take me along, seeing as I've worked closest to you."

I snorted and shook my head. "Don't cash in on your hopes, kid. I'm not taking that job. And even if I were, I'd want someone with a little more experience. Stay on the straight and narrow, and you'll get there on your own instead of riding in on some else's coattails."

Justin took a moment to ponder that. "Thanks. You're right, and I owe you an apology for earlier. I hope this woman works out for you."

"She will," I responded abruptly before turning my attention to the projection screen, effectively ending the conversation.

_Forever_. I added to myself. After last night, I had zero uncertainty.

Garcia's voice garbled from the phone on speaker. "Everyone here?"

Pablo Garcia was heading the New York side of our operation with Dean Scarpozi working alongside him. They made a great team, and I knew both would be up for promotion if we could ever end this godforsaken investigation.

A chorus of 'yeah' and 'here' rang out, distorting the line even further.

"Okay, who wants to start?" said the mangled voice of Garcia.

I took the initiative to answer. "Since Rangeman will be doing surveillance in the next few days, I'll let Ranger and his team take the lead first today. Ranger, why don't you give everyone a breakdown of how you plan on assisting?"

"Morelli, thank you," he started, and I resisted snorting. Even prior to Stephanie's presence in our lives, the only time Manoso gave a decent greeting was in a business setting.

After hearing papers shuffle, he cleared his throat. Probably it was dry from never speaking.

"I'm here with my team leaders. Each will have four men beneath him, contract workers specifically trained for surveillance. Tank and I work directly with Morelli's team in Philadelphia; because that's the only solid hit we've foreseen for Thursday. With us will be Hal and Bobby. As a precautionary measure, Binkie and Cal will remain in Trenton and have whomever they need assist with surveillance duty. Hal, Bones, Victor and Slick will drive up to New York tomorrow morning."

The men and women I worked with evidently weren't used to the unusual names in Trenton. Plenty of snickers were heard, until I quickly sent a text message to the heads in Trenton and New York to mute their phones.

Not even pausing to give the snickers any thought, Ranger continued, "Trenton has had cameras in place around the dock since late last night. Tomorrow, all cameras go up at the other two docks. They'll be placed facing the few locations we won't have undetected access to. We'll rotate in teams in four hour shifts."

"Do your men know what they're looking for?" Mickey Maglio from TPD questioned Ranger, and I could feel Manoso's spine stiffen over the phone.

Mickey was one of the best cops in Trenton, having worked robbery and major crimes since I could remember, which was the biggest reason I'd picked him to head Trenton's side while I was away. I knew he was merely questioning Ranger in front of the others to show Rangeman's teams were more than qualified to do the job.

"Yes. Do you?" came Ranger's stiff reply.

Mickey scoffed, most likely having not anticipated the rebuke.

Taking a cleansing breath, I stepped in. I needed everything to run smoothly.

"Detective, Rangeman is the best at what they do. Scarpozi, I suggest when Hal and Slick get in, you show them around and become acquainted. Most of all, I need everyone to respect each other. We all have the same goal."

Manoso must've taken the same breath as me, because when he spoke again, it was without attitude. It was either that, or he'd listened to my respect speech. Since pigs weren't flying, I figured it was the former.

"As I was about to say," he noted dryly, "we have connected with the managers of each dock. They've been paid large sums of money by our government to give the men access to put the cameras in and not interfere with our surveillance. We'll keep an eye on the cargo ships coming in and out, along with the crane operators, the truck drivers and the dockworkers. Is there anything I've missed?"

"No, I think you got it all," I said, resuming the lead. "Each team will be put into groups of two. One Rangeman and one detective will be paired to listen to conversations and monitor phones, while the other two will watch the surveillance feed. This is the deepest we've been able to get thanks to the recent super-warrant that came through late last night. Two other Rangeman units will canvass the area, keeping in contact with each of us at all times."

Phil Pancheck chipped in with a question. "What happens if one of the guys sees something? How fast can we move in?"

Originally Mickey and I'd thought that Phil would be the perfect partner for Mickey, but the longer this investigation went on, the more we'd regretted our decision. He was a lot like my partner, Justin. Both lacked motivation and couldn't keep up with the rest of the pack on the most mundane of days.

"It all depends on what they see. We have the details of what they're hoping to get off this load coming in. Your folders contain a manifest from the trucking companies. Study it, because I want it memorized by the time Thursday rolls around. I _don't_ want to see anyone taking out his papers in an attempt to match the correct truck number with the correct trailer. Got it?"

I waited for grunts and acceptance before moving on. "We've been instructed to only make a move if we see the trailer being hoisted to the wrong truck. If we see that, then on my word, we move in on the crane operator and the truck driver."

"Morelli, have you discussed the wires with everyone yet?" Tank's deep voice reverberated through the phone lines.

"Thank you for the reminder. I have, but let's go over it again. Go ahead," I instructed.

Tank waited barely a second before going into his speech. He was yet another person that had a very different personality when it came to business.

"All of us will be wired for the entire operation. Everything you say will be recorded and kept on file for exploration at a later time. Because of the importance of this mission, these microphones are not able to be turned off, so it goes without saying, we don't want to hear a bunch of unnecessary chatter."

I covered my laugh with a cough, because I almost wanted to ask Tank what he considered 'unnecessary chatter'. _Was it saying hello?_

"Unless something big is going on, you should find a working sign language for you and your partner," Tank finished.

"What time will you be arriving?" I asked.

"Tomorrow morning at nine," Ranger was quick to reply.

"We'll be ready."

* * *

**Stephanie's POV**

I was happy I'd worn my blue skirt to my meeting. Any other color, and the sweat marks I'd made from wiping my hands on it would be visible.

To appear professional, I'd decided to arrive early, a decision I now regretted. Right then I would've preferred sweating astronomical amounts at home rather than the lobby of Macy's. Instead, I was anxiously waiting for Melinda, the Human Resources representative, or her assistant Samantha to come get me.

My anxiety was at its peak. If they didn't summon me soon, I'd need a lunch bag to breathe through. Pulling out my phone to check the time, I saw a text message from Joe.

_Good luck._

It was simple, sweet and just what I needed. He was thinking of me.

_Sigh._

Thinking of Joe for the next five minutes while I waited would be way better than contemplating all that could go wrong today—not that he was ever far from my thoughts anyway. Still, given all he had going on today, it was reassuring to know I was on his mind as well.

A well-dressed woman approached me while I was daydreaming about all the things I wanted to do to Joe if we met up for lunch today. Mentally fanning myself, I hoped the heat I felt wasn't apparent on my face.

"Stephanie Plum?"

"Yes."

"Please follow me."

The busty, chestnut-haired woman could only be Melinda Kruger. Her voice and attitude weren't much different than the few phone conversations we'd had.

_This should be fun._

She wound me through the white walled hallways of Macy's meeting rooms, and as we rounded what had to have been the third left, I began to hear voices—happy, cheerful voices.

Wait.

One voice sounded a whole lot like Marisa's!

God, if only she could be with me there today. Going through the E.E. Martin layoff had been embarrassing enough, even though it'd had nothing to do with me. And now the same overwhelming feeling was enveloping me.

"Please, take a seat." Melinda stepped aside, allowing me to enter the room.

"What are _you_ doing here?" I gasped when I saw Marisa and Dave sitting there, along with two people I didn't recognize.

"Same as you," Marisa happily announced. Carefully checking her surroundings, she rolled her eyes. "You heard the lady. Take a seat."

Shit, I'd been right. Even if I was excited to see one of my best friends and a great coworker in this meeting, it could only mean one thing.

_I was fired._

Why else would she be here, considering she was still on extended maternity leave, other than to take her job back?

An older gentleman walked into the room as I took my seat, leaving no time to question Marisa. I noticed all chatter ceased at the man's presence, and if possible, everyone's backs, including mine, went a little straighter.

_Great._

"I'm Douglas Turner, Human Resources Director," he announced, opening the folder in front of him.

Well that explained the suit, but if he took any more time going through that folder, I might scream. I wanted to yell at him to fire me and get it over with. But no, I was professional Stephanie today.

"We are here to discuss case number 37-9268. Stephanie Plum?" Turner eyed Marisa, Dave and I, waiting for a response. Since my nervousness was taking over, I simply raised my hand, and he nodded.

"Samantha, will you take the others into the room across the hall and wait for Melinda to get you?"

"Yes," replied the skinny blonde who'd been sitting across from me.

Melinda's assistant led the way out. Dave and Marisa followed behind, but before the door closed, Marisa turned around and gave me a giant smile, two thumbs up and a wink.

She was officially insane.

As soon as the door slammed shut, Douglas cleared his throat and addressed me.

"As you might assume, we will not be bring Alex MacLaine back as the Vice President of Purchasing here on the east coast."

I tried to look mildly surprised, but really I wanted to celebrate. If I was getting fired, I wanted him to be punished as well. At least something good would come of this day.

"I have paperwork that needs to be filled out by you before we can bring the others back in and start the transition process."

"Okay," I let out weakly. At that point, I wanted to go home and hide under a blanket with a cup of hot cocoa.

"Please pass this down and explain," he said to Melinda, handing her a thick packet.

_Here it came. _

To this point, every time I'd glanced at Melinda, her eyes had seemed icy and unapproachable. Probably it was a human resources thing, because I'd yet to meet a representative that was nice.

"You don't need to explain. I can fill it out and be out of your way," I offered, determined to get the termination over with.

Melinda gave me a blank stare and then smiled in awareness. Her eyes took on a knowing glint. "Let's take a look at this before we jump to conclusions, shall we?"

I nodded and turned to the paperwork in front of me.

_Holy Crap! _It wasn't a termination letter. Hell, in fact there wasn't anything negative at all about it.

Scanning the document as fast as I could, I wanted to shout with joy.

"This is covering Macy's and all of our butts at the end of the day. Your case is closed. As suspected, we found no fault in you." She nodded toward the man who'd been sitting next to Samantha. "Jameson is here if you have any questions about the legalities."

"Okay," I breathed, still in a slight shock I wasn't leaving with walking papers.

"I need you to read it through, basically acknowledging we put you on leave in order to conduct a non-biased analysis of the situation."

My excitement was bubbling. I couldn't wait to tell Joe. "Great!"

"We'd like you back on your regular schedule beginning tomorrow."

I really wanted to get back to work right away. It felt like I'd already been on vacation for centuries, but tomorrow would be soon enough.

I spent the next twenty minutes reading through all the legal dictation, merely having to ask Jameson, one of Macy's many lawyers, to clear up some of the wording for me a couple of times.

After I was through initialing and signing my name, I conceded to my curiosity.

"What're Marisa and Dave doing here?"

I'd directed the question toward Melinda, but Douglas was the one who answered.

"Wait five minutes, and you'll find out."

From his tone, I thought he was mad or annoyed with my question, however, when my eyes met his; I saw a crinkling at the sides. I realized then that human resources people were just—different.

I impatiently waited out the five minutes, while Melinda and Jameson went through the documents. They had to make certain every 'I' was dotted and 'T' was crossed before he excused himself.

I waited with bated breath, until Melinda returned with the others.

Marisa sat to my left and whispered in my ear, "I told you everything would work out."

I rolled my eyes. She was going to get an earful for holding out on me. She had a hell of a lot of explaining to do.

Dave was on my right. He gave my arm a gentle squeeze that I smiled at.

"Now that the hard part is taken care of we can begin with the other changes," announced Douglas.

"Stephanie, meet your new boss, Marisa."

I whipped my head to the left, not bothering to shut my mouth, now hanging open.

"From what I understand, you both know each other well, and there shouldn't be any complications."

"No, no there won't be," I murmured, even though I was giving her my squinty-eyed look.

"Dave has withdrawn his resignation with us and will be your assistant for the remainder of your contract."

_Heck yes! Today's news made me feel like I'd won the life lottery. _

I had Joe back in my life, a reliable job with great people, and a great prospect of a job for the future.

But—

"What about Ashley?" I asked.

"Instead of becoming your assistant, we moved her over to men's now that Abel has put in his notice."

That was great news too, since I hadn't been too keen on working with Ashley to begin with. She'd still be close by, as the men's group was two offices down from mine, but it was better than having to be her manager!

"Does everyone else know?" I inquired. Everyone loved Marisa, and I knew she would be widely accepted and respected.

Douglas answered me, although he looked at Marisa in professional admiration.

"Yes, we gathered everyone for an impromptu meeting and announced it. The purchasing department here as a whole needs a fresh attitude, and Marisa is just the one to do the job and keep everyone focused at the same time."

The meeting wore on for another ten minutes before we were all dismissed.

I hadn't had the chance to talk directly with Marisa, so I battered her with questions immediately after we hit the hallway and were a safe distance from the others.

"You owe me. Tell me everything. You knew how much I was stressing out. Why the hell didn't you say anything?" The hurt I felt came through with my anger.

"We should talk at lunch, but I promise I didn't know they were taking you back until this morning when I was called to the meeting."

That eased my mind a little, but I was still upset she hadn't said anything about her position earlier.

"Okay, but I can't do lunch today. I'm meeting up with Joe," I said with a smug grin. "But tomorrow—or any other day you want to spill your guts to me _and_ buy my lunch—I'm yours."

We both laughed.

I said my goodbyes to Dave and Marisa, and as soon as I hit the parking lot, I called Joe.

* * *

**Joe's POV**

"Keep me waiting why don't you," I teased, leaning into the window of Steph's car after she parked and giving her a quick kiss on the cheek.

"Are you shitting me? I hauled ass to get here."

"It still wasn't fast enough. Let's take my car. You have everything?"

"Sure do."

She grabbed a bag full of subs and drinks out of the passenger's seat.

Once her entire body was out of the car, I pulled her into a heated kiss. I could feel the happiness about her job radiating throughout her whole body. The feeling was contagious.

We quickly drove to a nearby park, all the while keeping up the easy conversation about our respective meetings.

"Told you everything would go okay," I reminded her with a self-satisfied smile.

"You act like you knew in advance. You were just making me feel better, and you know it."

"Maybe, but you can't argue with the fact I was right."

I got my favorite eye roll—the one that said I wasn't in trouble—and parked the car.

"I'm still annoyed with Marisa, but I know she'll find a way to make me forgive her."

"Probably she couldn't say anything until it was final. She doesn't seem the type to keep secrets like that, especially from you."

She looked thoughtful for a moment. "True, but I _will_ get my answers. Enough about me though, how'd your call go?"

We unwrapped our sandwiches and started eating on a shaded bench.

"Good. I have a better feeling about it now that we have more monitoring and Ranger's bringing extra bodies."

"Does it feel weird working with him? I know you have in the past, but is it any different?"

"Yes and no. I honestly don't know how we never came to blows before." Stephanie's head bowed in shame, and I brought my arm around to draw her closer. "But we've always been professional, and he's never done me wrong while working a case."

"That's good." She leaned up and gave me a sweet kiss. "Do you have confidence this stakeout will turn out better than the others?"

"Yeah, we have a pretty solid team, and this time I think we'll get it right. The most annoying part of it all is that we haven't found out who is funneling the information for what is on each truck."

She laughed. "You're never satisfied until every piece of the puzzle fits together."

It was the truth. I didn't like doing much of anything half assed.

I nuzzled her neck, smelling her sweet scent and breathed deeply. "You know how I like to bring everything to a satisfactory level."

I nibbled lightly, and she tried to suppress a moan of satisfaction.

"Uh huh," she shivered. "You'd better stop now. We don't have time to go back to the house."

"I don't want to," I protested. "I have a back seat, you know."

"Joe!" She swatted me away. "Wasn't it you who said a few hours ago I'd kill you? Well, you'll get _me_ arrested."

My lips tipped up. "I'm always reminding you I _am_ the police, Cupcake. I wouldn't arrest you unless you wanted me to."

A smile broke before she could hide it, and her cheeks flushed.

Turning away from me and focusing on her lunch, she asked, "Do you still want me to keep a look out for information? Did you ever talk to Dave about the possibility of an internal leak? I mean, he knows more people than I do. Do you want _me _to talk to him?"

"That would be nice," I said, and she smiled. "You know the drill. You've done it before, and you know you eavesdrop well."

"Are you trying to butter me up?"

"Will it get you into the back of the car?"

"You'll just have to wait and see."


	22. Chapter 22

Hello, hello! It's been quite some time in between chapters and I am so sorry. At first I was having issues getting my thoughts together for the chapter and then real life came in and took over. I hope to have a better grip on things soon because I am still VERY dedicated to this story. It will be finished. It will just take more time than anticipated. Thank you for keeping with me on this journey. Thank you as well to 'guest' for your reviews. Username or not, all reviews are appreciated.

Carol and Julie. Thank you for always going above and beyond. You always lead me where I need to go, even if it means starting the chapter over and over ;). You're absolutely amazing.

I know this is one of my shortest chapters, with the longest wait, but it felt right to stop where I did and I hope to make up for it next time.

* * *

Chapter 22

**Stephanie's POV**

"Mmmm, I'm really enjoying our lunch dates," Joe hummed as we broke from yet another passionate kiss.

I kissed him again. "Me too, although I don't have time to get too crazy today. Marisa may be letting me take a long lunch, but I can't be gone all day."

Nuzzling my ear and surely trying to change my mind about heading straight back to the office, he said, "Remind me to send her a thank you card."

"I don't think you have to. For some reason she likes you," I laughed teasingly. "She said if she wasn't already taken by Mark, she would've invited you to the barbeque, tied you up in the basement and never let you leave."

"What? Why would she—?"

"Pu—leez. Don't get all modest on me now. You have all that Italian charm—" I suppressed a shiver, thinking about how well he _used_ his charms, "—and swagger, and you damn well know it."

Not embarrassed in the least, he shrugged his shoulders. His voice dropped to a sexy whisper next to my ear. "How about you don't deny how much you like it?"

His lips journeyed leisurely to my mouth, and my breathing quickly changed to short pants when his cell phone rang.

_Damn_

Checking the ID, he sighed, and I leaned over to see who it was.

_Ranger._

"Hopefully it's nothing bad," he said to me and pressed the accept button. "Morelli."

I could only hear one side of the conversation, but it didn't sound too bad.

"No, Steph and I are at Vista Grill grabbing a bite."

He pointed to the two chairs across the table from us and lifted his brow in question. I nodded; figuring there was no way Ranger would accept an invitation.

"You're welcome to join us," he said with as much sincerity as he could muster, considering our lunch date was being interrupted.

"Later." He abruptly ended the conversation and shoved the phone into his pocket.

I barely managed a few seconds before reaching breaking point.

"Is he coming? Is everything okay?"

"Yup, him and Tank. They have all the cameras set up at the dock, and they've got their first shift of men in place. He was just checking in."

"So everything is going as planned?" I asked, trying to keep the heightened concern I felt out of my voice.

Joe slouched in his seat wearily. "As planned as a raid can go," he responded testily. "I thought we worked this out last night."

His exasperated tone immediately had me defensively rolling my eyes.

"We did. I was just checking."

Joe snorted, which only served to piss me off even more.

Tossing my napkin on the table, I made to move out of the booth. "I'm going back to the office."

"Steph, wait." Joe's fast reflexes had his hand on my thigh before I could get too far. "I want to enjoy my lunch with you. I don't want to waste it talking about the raid—at least until Ranger gets here. Okay?"

Feeling slightly ashamed, I sat back in my seat.

"Sorry," I apologized, "but I hate how you're acting like this raid isn't a big deal. The fact that the FBI is in on it and how long you've been investigating shows what a big deal it is."

"I know, but like I said, we talked about this last night."

My eyebrow ticked upward. "There was far too much pacing and gritted teeth for that to have been considered _talking_."

_Both _his eyebrows went up in response.

Reaching up to feel the prickle from Joe's stubble on my hands, I sighed. I loved the feeling of his ruggedness.

"I'll stop," I said quietly.

Only a slight bit of tension remained in the air when Ranger and Tank arrived five minutes later with a simple nod for each of us. Ranger was in business mode—not in dress, but in demeanor. Tank was—well, Tank. More stoic than any one I'd ever met. Every once in a blue moon I managed to get a smile out of him. Today probably wasn't going to be one of those days.

Joe spoke first, passing the menus over to the men in black. "We already ordered drinks, but waited for you to order."

Both Tank and Ranger mumbled, "Thanks."

The sturdy waitress took our orders. Tank was brave enough to order fish and chips, while Ranger ordered a non-breaded chicken sandwich. Probably his body would go into a carb coma minutes after leaving the restaurant.

Joe and I, of course, ordered cheeseburgers, which was one of the many reasons why he was my lifetime companion. _How that hadn't been my deciding decision years ago remained a mystery._

"I got a call today from one of the security firms on the West Coast I bounce ideas off of from time to time," Ranger began.

That stymied me. "You _talk_ to other people?"

Tank laughed, and Ranger replied, "That's what I'm doing now, am I not?" He turned amused eyes to Joe who was apparently more used to my stupid questions.

"That's not what I meant, and you know it. I meant you talk to other agencies? I always thought you had all the answers."

That got a rise out of Joe, but he quickly corrected his fumble. "Cupcake, no one has all the answers."

"Anyway," I encouraged Ranger to proceed.

"He assisted in a raid similar to this out in Oakland, although it wasn't as complex as this one seems to be. I discussed where we were putting cameras and men, and he highlighted some of the deeper areas of the dock that we hadn't thought of. I set up six more cameras than originally anticipated. I'm also adding one more man in each city."

"Good," Joe replied, mulling over what Ranger had said. "Is there anything else he thinks we're missing? Was his raid successful?"

Ranger seemed thoughtful. Finally Tank responded, "Depends on what you'd call successful."

"What's that supposed to mean?" I blurted. "Either you catch the bad guys, or you don't."

"Some things aren't so simple, Babe."

I looked at Joe, wondering if he knew what Ranger was getting at. His shoulder shrug and slight frown told me he didn't.

"They caught everyone they needed to that night but ended up with three wounded. You know how it is when officers go down."

I took in a deep breath as Ranger spoke. His eyes locked with mine.

_This_ was my greatest fear. The fear that had become almost suffocating the closer Thursday came.

Joe wrapped an arm around my shoulders, trying to comfort me. "Did they live? They weren't seriously injured, were they?"

"I wouldn't call any gun shot a _minor_ wound, but yes, everyone survived," Ranger confirmed.

I stiffened at the memory of when Ranger had been shot in my apartment. That'd certainly been horrible, and I was a jumble of emotions afterward, but if anything like that happened to Joe, I'd be much worse.

So much worse.

I swallowed hard. "But—but that won't happen here, because you have everything covered. Right?"

* * *

**Joe's POV**

Steph was waiting for an answer when her phone rang.

"Hello?" After a slight pause, she put a little more force and attitude into her greeting. "Hello?"

Both of us looked at the phone to see if the connection had been lost, but the timer was still counting the seconds.

"Who is it?" I questioned.

"I don't know. The number's blocked." She looked from me to Ranger, whose eyes were assessing her every move.

"Hello?" she said once more. The call had been connected for a full minute, and still no one replied. Sighing, she hung up and placed the phone into her purse.

"Weird," she murmured dismissively. "Now what were we talking about?"

No one said a word. As soon as her eyes noticed the grim line of my face, it all came back to her.

"You _do_ have everything in order so that the risk of anyone getting hurt is slim, don't you?"

"Stephanie," Ranger began slowly. I felt her tense behind me, surely hating being talked to like a young child. "There's only so much we can prevent. We'll do the best we can, but there's always a risk. You know that."

She stared at me. "But you'll be wearing a flak vest?"

"Yes," I replied impatiently. "We've gone over this already."

Ranger couldn't hide his smirk, and Tank sat stoic as always.

_Annoying._

Prior to our argument about the raid the night before, Stephanie had never said much more than 'be safe' to me when I'd had raids and undercover jobs in the past. Having her overly concerned now was…odd.

Whatever it was going on in her head, she couldn't seem to let it go, and it was really starting to grate on me.

"Elbows and knees covered too? Your legs always seem to be a target when something goes wrong."

"Cupcake—" My tone wasn't gentle.

She tensed beside me. While I knew it wasn't purposeful, I didn't appreciate her testing my patience and testosterone levels in front of Ranger and Tank. I didn't like it when we were alone, and I sure as hell didn't need it in front of an audience.

"I'm only wearing a vest, as will everyone else. I'm not going to weigh myself down when everything will be fine."

"It can't be a PPD one though," she continued, seemingly oblivious to my annoyance. "Grandma's told me about those TV specials that show how worn out the armor can get over time." She zeroed in on Ranger again. "You'll give him one of yours to use."

We all knew Ranger's equipment was top of the line, but her high-handedness was humiliating.

"He can use one of mine if he wishes. We brought more than enough." Ranger's face was as passive as it got, but I saw the tell-tale signs that he was smiling underneath it all.

Steph let out a heavy sigh of relief. "Okay, all right. I'm fine with it."

My expression didn't soften, but I tried to lighten the mood a little, even though I was completely serious.

"That feeling you have right now? That's how _I _felt every time you got yourself into one of your crazy situations. It sucks, doesn't it."

Out came her defensiveness again. "I'm fine with what you're doing," she argued. "I'm not worried about something happening at all." I watched her bring her hands under the table, so she could cross her fingers and knock on wood without anyone noticing.

Chuckling, I threw my arm around her shoulders and dragged her close enough to smack a kiss on her cheek. Even when she was testing my patience, I loved her more than anything in the world, and it was hard to keep my hands to myself.

"Trying to convince yourself?" I teased, and then added seriously, "This is my job, Cupcake. One I do well. I'll be fine."

Cocky or not, I took pride in my work.

Hoping to switch gears, I shifted toward Ranger. "Do you have someone already watching the feeds?"

"Yeah, we've got the teams divided like we want." Ranger checked his watch. "Should be getting ready for a shift change soon. I'll check in when we're done here."

Our food still hadn't been served. It was going to be a long night if this lunch went on much longer.

"That reminds me," Stephanie said. "I'm going to Marisa's for dinner on Thursday."

"Good," I responded.

It was a suggestion I'd made the night before after we both calmed down from our blow out. I thought it would help to have her mind occupied, although I wasn't under the illusion she wouldn't worry just because she was with a friend. But truthfully, I'd feel better knowing she was around people rather than home by herself.

Maybe _that's_ why she was more worried than usual. She no longer had the distraction of her former crazy job and even crazier people around her.

"I have to get going," I said, scooting out of the booth and laying money on the table. "Call me with any updates. I'll have my cell on me."

Stephanie moved to follow, but I stopped her. "Where you going?"

"Uh, walking you to your car?"

_Patience Morelli._

I bent to give her a kiss. "I'm fine, Steph. Enjoy your lunch."

Her temper flared again. "Are you my father now?"

Momentarily shocked, I glared back at her. "_Excuse_ me, but weren't you just taking the roll of my mother a minute ago?"

She didn't answer.

Exhaling, I dropped to my haunches, so we were eye to eye.

* * *

**Stephanie's POV**

"Don't pull this shit, Steph," he murmured. "I don't want you stressing over something that isn't going to happen. You need to take care of_ you_ before anything else." Resting his lips against my forehead, he then placed a lingering kiss on my lips, before whispering, "I'll see you after work, Cupcake."

He nodded at Ranger and Tank, and then took off to go save our part of the world.

The second he was out of sight, I pinned Ranger with a glare that had Tank snorting.

"What?" Ranger shrugged with a smug grin. "I don't have anything to do with him making sure you're eating."

"Listen, you may not be in charge for once," Ranger acknowledged that with what might be considered a snort, "but _I'm_ making you in charge of Joe's safety."

"Babe, nothing's going to happen. This is all routine business. You know he's been involved in harder cases, and he's come ho—"

"Some of the most routine things I've been involved in have become some of the hardest," I pointed out stubbornly.

I wanted to convince myself I was simply being an overprotective girlfriend—making up for _not_ having reacted in the past. But as much as I fought it, my stupid intuition was the real problem.

My spidey sense.

I prayed it wasn't working correctly because I hadn't used it in so long, but I simply couldn't shake the shivering sense of impending danger.

Tank decided to add his infinite amount of wisdom. "That's because you're _you_."

Momentarily stunned, I had absolutely nothing to say.

Ranger gave Tank a stern look that had they not been the best of friends, would've reduced Tank to nothing more than ashes. I decided not to encourage Tank, seeing as he was apparently quicker witted then I'd ever given him credit for.

"If anything happens to Joe, I swear on everything Holy you'll see a far worse fate then you ever did in the military," I proclaimed boldly to Ranger.

It took about five seconds before he burst into laughter, and I became completely insulted.

A flash of remorse washed over Ranger's face. Although I couldn't be completely sure, I think it had to do with my anxiety over Joe's safety. _Was it because it was Joe I was concerned about or was it because I hadn't previously shown enough concern over him?_

When he spoke again, his voice was cold. "Steph, I'm not in charge of him _or_ his people. Morelli can take care of himself. More than likely Tank and I'll be in a surveillance van when this all happens."

My shoulders slumped. "You're right, and I know he can do this all on his own. He's the best at what he does. But you guys are the only ones who know how much he means to me. I don't want him to take an unnecessary risk."

Tank shared a surprised look with Ranger.

"It's in everyone's best interest to stay safe, so yes, I will be looking out for everyone on the team, but I can't stop fate."

The irony of his words wasn't lost on me. Fate wasn't something you could mess with. What was meant to be was just that—meant to be.

Look at Joe and me. Ranger had tried to interfere, and I'd subconsciously tried to sabotage the relationship. At times, I think Joe had done the same.

But none of us could stop the inevitable.

"We need to get back to the precinct," Ranger said.

I nodded resignedly. "I should go back to the office."

Before we went our separate ways, Tank reminded me—for the hundredth time—my classes were starting the following Monday and to call him if I had any problems. Normally I would be nervous about this next big step, but truthfully, I felt like I was finally in a place where I could conquer anything I wanted. I had a job that allowed me to have a home with Joe, even if it was temporarily in a different state, and I didn't have to worry about how I was going to pay rent or feed myself. It'd been years since I had this much stability. Most of all, my relationship with Joe was the healthiest relationship I'd had in my entire life. Maybe it was time to stop worrying.

_If only I could._

* * *

**Joe's POV**

"I'll look into it as soon as I can. Text me the number just to make sure I got it right."

"I'm sure it's nothing to worry about, but I wanted to let you know."

A day we'd had lunch with Ranger and Tank, a number had finally showed on Stephanie's caller ID from the prank caller, instead of it being blocked.

"You're probably right, Cupcake, but I appreciate it. Make sure you have someone leave with you tonight."

"Will do." She paused like she wanted to say more. "Well, I'm going to get back to work. Have a good day."

"What else is going on?" I pried. There was more going on than just the possibility of Alex prank calling her cell phone—at least that's who my gut was telling me was calling. Probably Stephanie thought the same thing but was afraid to say it.

"Huh?"

I rolled my eyes, even if she couldn't see it. "What's bothering you?"

She hesitated again. "Just work really. I'm behind, and Dave is assisting with training the new girl. That and Grandma called."

_Bingo._

Considering I was as close to Edna as I was Bella—although granted it was a different kind of relationship—my heart did a minor stutter. Edna had been a part of my life for the last few years, and I knew how much she meant to Stephanie, so my concern was very real.

"Is everything okay?"

"I didn't get to talk to her because I was on a conference call. I guess I'm feeling guilty." Her voice hitched. "I was supposed to help my mom take care of her after surgery, but when she didn't end up coming home because—" Her voice choked, and I frantically thought of what to say.

"Did she leave you a message? I thought when you talked to your mom the other night, everything was okay."

"Grandma didn't leave a message, although Mom did say she was having too much fun with her new cell phone. I think I'm just on edge because of these hang up calls."

I blinked a few times, trying to keep up with her disjointed thought patterns.

"I'm just overwhelmed," she explained.

Trying my best to soothe her, I said in a reassuring tone, "Cupcake, everything will be all right. Call her when you're done texting me, and you'll feel better. Don't forget, we'll see her this weekend at Lula's wedding, so in just a few days, you'll be able to see she's fine with your own eyes."

"Good point. Okay, I'll text you this number and then call her. Love you."

"Love you too, Cupcake."

Absently tossing my cell on the desk, I rolled my shoulders and tried to release some tension. Today had been full of stress. Last minute details for tomorrow's bust, Trenton's PD breathing down my throat over how soon I'd be back, and now—now I had the very high possibility of Alex coming out of whatever dark hole he'd been hiding in for the past few weeks.

Maybe one day I'd lead a quiet life.

I snorted at the ridiculousness of that wish as Steph's text message came through. I'd never known quiet, and I probably wouldn't know what to do if it came up and bit me on the ass.

Knowing that Philly's police department was just as overloaded with work as Trenton, I called in a favor to Ranger. I knew it would take priority with him unlike here—not that I would completely shut PPD out.

Thank God the relationship—or lack thereof—between Steph and Ranger was finally abundantly clear. The relief I felt over not having to worry if she was going to up and leave me had been worth the endless wait. We were stronger than ever and could even sustain hurricane force Ranger winds now—not that I thought it was going to be an issue.

"I need you to check a phone number for me."

"Who's it for?"

"Me."

"You know I'm not going to give out my services without an explanation."

My intention of giving minimum details wasn't going to get me far with Ranger on a job. He took his work seriously—one of the few things I could say I respected about him. His gruff didn't even faze me. I wasn't the only one under the gun to make sure everything went right tomorrow.

"Stephanie started getting prank calls yesterday. She's had some—uh—issues with an ex co-worker, and I suspect it might be him."

Long silence met my admission, and I patiently waited him out.

Ranger's annoyance was evident. "She has? She hasn't said anything to me."

_Finally_ I was given a reason to smile since leaving Steph at the house that morning. Stephanie had almost always gone to Ranger rather than me about the dangers in her life out of fear of me getting rightfully upset. The secret thrill I got over how affected _he_ was she hadn't run to him this time was better than hitting a grand slam in the bottom of the ninth at the World Series.

"She dated her boss briefly when she first mov—"

"Always someone with authority," Ranger interrupted.

"—ed here, and he's—wait—what?" I hadn't been paying close attention. I was all ready to end the conversation.

"She always goes for someone with authority."

_Hunh._ I'd never paid much attention, but he was right. Dickie, Ranger, Alex and I all had upstanding, 'powerful' jobs. It was an interesting observation, considering she hated being pushed around or told what to do.

"Anyway, I need you to look up a number. You ready?" When some hazy rumble came through, I proceeded, "215-555-9777."

"Got it. I'll call when I have something."

_Click_

"Nice chatting with you too," I muttered.

Maybe now I could focus on work. I checked in with Justin, and the rest of the crew. Nothing big was going on at the docks. All scheduled deliveries were being transported as they were supposed to be. The more valuable ships came in at night, and tonight was no exception.

"I'm calling it a day," I said to Justin, doing the man pat thing, so I didn't scare him when I came up from behind. "We have a big day tomorrow. Make sure you get enough rest."

"You're going home already?" he asked.

"I've only been here nine hours straight," I responded dryly. It'd been a fairly short day for me.

"I—I was just giving you a hard time," Justin stammered. "I was about to do the same."

"Good. Remember to keep your cell on, and if you don't hear anything before, be here by two tomorrow afternoon."

"The ship is on target to come in at eleven thirty tomorrow night."

"Good. It wasn't slowed down much. See you tomorrow."

My last stop before heading home was Detective James Stewart's office, the lead detective on Stephanie's case against Alex.

I hated not being able to have the lead on the case, but that wasn't my job here. It took everything in me every day not to check in with his department about the investigation. I had to have faith they were doing their best to try and catch the creep.

Stephanie still had an active restraining order against Alex. He was already being sought out for damaging her car, and I knew after I'd read Stewart the riot act on the night of the tire slashing, the department would be more vigilant about looking for Alex. Still, he wasn't their main priority—much to my displeasure. Homicides, drive-by shootings and drugs always came before assault cases, especially when the two parties knew one another.

It was merely one of many annoyances with every police department.

I knocked twice outside of his worn out cubicle.

"Come in." Stewart looked up from his computer as I entered. "Detective. Everything going okay for you?"

I gave a non-committal shrug. "I have a number that may or may not be MacLaine's."

"I thought he moved on, since he's been so quiet." He extended his hand for the post-it note I held.

I looked at him incredulously. "You're shitting me, right? I hope you are."

"What do you mean?"

I slapped the post-it on his monitor, so it was front and center. I needed some way to outwardly show my anger.

"You damn well know people like him _never_ back off. It's only been a few weeks since this all started. It doesn't matter if he's quiet for a week—month—or year. He _will_ be back. You know the goddamned statistics."

"Sure I do, but he isn't some lowly scum bag stalker. His family has a deep history here. I don't think he's that stupid."

His detached tone pissed me off even further.

"That's your problem right there!" I practically exploded. "You aren't thinking! I saw the pictures of the night he touched her. She was lucky my dog helped defend her."

I lowered my voice, not even realizing how menacing I sounded until it was too late.

"I swear to Christ, if you don't start digging deep soon, I'll have your ass. We've already discussed the fact I have no problem getting your badge removed."

Instead of backing down like last time, Stewart got defensive.

"You have no right to threaten me. You think your _girlfriend _is the only one having issues with a freak? I'm taxed out right now. I'll do the best I can and contact her if I hear anything."

My pulse beat wildly. "If _anything_ happens to her because you sat on your ass—"

I shook my head. I couldn't finish my sentence, because no punishment would be great enough for the young detective. Backing out of his office before I did something I would regret, I could only hope his anger toward me would motivate him to move on the case and make finding Alex a much higher priority.

* * *

**Stephanie's POV**

I felt like I was doing the potty dance outside of Marisa's office, but really I was doing the 'really anxious to leave' dance. Dave gave me one of his weird looks.

_Whatever._

We'd all worked ten-hour days both yesterday and today. I'd been ready to go home hours ago, but there'd still been work to be done. Of course, when I got home, Joe probably wouldn't be there, and seeing as I'd received seven hang up calls that day, I wasn't all that eager to be home alone longer than necessary.

But now—now I was ready to go home, bring Bob inside, nuke a meal and relax.

Marisa finally stepped out of her office and shut the door behind her. "I love working."

I would have believed her if she hadn't rolled her eyes right after the declaration.

"How's Sophia doing with the new babysitter?" I wondered, thinking about the chubby munchkin I loved.

"She's good. There are a few kids her age, and it's good to socialize and all that."

I gave her an 'I'm not buying it' look, and she went on, "I'm glad I cut my leave short. Staying home isn't all it's cracked up to be. It seemed like there were even bigger laundry piles than before." She laughed, but I could sense it was still hard.

"Is Mark picking up the kids, or are you?" Dave asked.

"Mark. I don't want them to stay too late. I do miss them, and it'll take some getting used to. It's only been a few days, but I think it will make us all appreciate our time together more."

Dave did a little hop, and it was my turn to give him an odd look.

"Don't judge," he said. "I'm just happy we're a team again. This is great."

Marisa and I snickered at him.

I grabbed Dave's elbow and pulled him faster. "All right team, let's go. I'm ready to throw on my flannel pj's and zone out."

Marisa snorted. "First of all, I'm pretty sure it's a sin to own flannel pajamas, and secondly, I highly doubt your detective would allow such a sight."

I shrugged. She didn't need to know she was right and that Joe preferred nothing at all.

We walked out to the parking lot rehashing much of our hectic day. Even though Dave had tried to keep up with my work while I was out, he hadn't entirely succeeded. As for Marisa, it turned out Alex hadn't been doing much of what he was supposed to be doing either, so she was sorting through his mess.

Probably he'd been too busy keeping an eye on me.

"Don't forget, you're in charge of dessert tomorrow night. I'm thinking something vanilla-y and whipped."

"I'll see what Thompson's Market has, because there is _no_ way I am baking tonight. If you thought I was, you've lost your mind."

"Just make sure it's full of sugar. Call me when you get to your place."

I drove home in a fog of thoughts.

The first order of business was how I was going to get in the front door as fast as possible. Rooting around in my purse, I made sure I had my mace with me.

Then there was Joe.

At times, I felt like an obsessive teenager with how often he was on my mind, but I couldn't help it. I hoped he would get home at a decent hour, so he could relax before tomorrow's raid. It was going to be a huge day for him, and I still had a niggling feeling that something was going to happen.

He'd always taken his job seriously. Most of the time he _was_ the job. It was something I admired, but it irritated me too. When I'd been a bounty hunter, I'd acted the same way most of the time, but that had been out of necessity—not because I was passionate about catching bad guys but because I'd needed a roof over my head.

Tomorrow could go two ways. If Joe and his team didn't catch anything going on and they had to wait for another possible opportunity, he would be irritable for a few days, and I wouldn't blame him after all the time and effort he'd put in with these elusive thefts. I had no issue dealing with an irritated Joe.

I was more concerned with what would happen if he _did_ have success tomorrow night. It was mentioned that the TPD had wanted Joe back months ago. As soon as all of the paperwork was cleared, he would be back home, and I selfishly didn't want that. I never brought it up, because it would make it more real. But we'd just gotten back together—I wasn't ready for the distance that had plagued us for the majority of the year.

All of those thoughts were pushed aside when I pulled up to my little house and saw Joe's SUV parked at the curb. I wanted to bust through the door and wrap myself around him, but I knew he would be pissed if I didn't take precaution first.

Scanning the area, I took the mace in my right hand and had my keys ready with my left. I didn't see anything in the shadows, and the front lights were on thanks to my ever-considerate boyfriend.

I stepped out of the car and made a mad dash to the front door. In the process of being vigilant about my safety, I'd also managed to psych myself out. Adrenaline pumped through my system like a fire hose.

Because of the sudden rush, I couldn't get the house key to separate from my work key. Fumbling with them, I was unprepared for the hot breath that blew across my neck.

"Hey."

_Omigod_—no.


End file.
